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Hppletons' 

TTown  ant)  Country 

Xibrar^ 

No.  208 


THE  CAREER  OF  CANDIDA 


BY  THE  SAME  AUTHOR. 

A  STUDY  IN  PREJUDICES. 

i2mo.     Cloth,  $i.oo. 

"  Charmingly  and  clearly  written,  with  strength  and  thought- 
fulness,  in  a  style  of  commendable  simplicity." — New  York 
Herald. 

"  Fairly  sparkles  with  bright  sayings  and  quick-witted  obser- 
vations."— Philadelphia  Public  Ledger. 

"An  able  book,  and  sometimes  extremely  clever,  not  to  say 
brilliant." — London  Academy. 

"  A  bright  and  pretty  story,  .  .  .  worthy  of  being  read  at 
length." — London  Literary  World. 


New  York:   D.  APPLETON  &  CO.,  72  Fifth  Avenue, 


JSSXm  i£  CM.XF.   LIBRAffif,  lOi  UOaUS 

THE 

CAREER  OF   CANDIDA 


BY 

GEORGE   PASTON 


DICES,    ETC,  


AUTHOR   OP 
A   MODERN   AMAZON,    A   STUDY   IN    PREJUDICES,    ETC, 


"  Only  a  learned  and  a  manly  soul 
I  purposed  her,  that  should  with  even  powers 
The  rock,  the  spindle,  and  the  shears  control 
Of  destiny,  and  spin  her  own  free  hours." 

Ben  Jonson 


NEW    YORK 

D.    APPLETON    AND    COMPANY 

1897 


Authorized  Edition. 


THE 

CAREER  OF   CANDIDA. 

CHAPTER  I. 

The  St  John  household,  or  rather  the  feminine  part 
of  it,  was  in  a  state  of  the  deepest  consternation  and 
dismay,  for  the  daughter  and  heiress  of  the  house  had 
refused  to  say  her  accustomed  prayers.  The  rebel, 
aged  eight,  standing  up  straight  and  stiff  in  her 
little  frilled  nightgown,  shook  her  curly  mane,  and 
obstinately  refused  to  bow  the  knee. 

"  You  naughty  girl ! "  panted  her  mother,  who  had 
been  summoned  in  haste  from  the  drawing-room,  and 
who  was  flushed  with  the  reluctant  irritation  of  a 
stout  woman.  "If  you  don't  kneel  down  directly  I 
shall  have  to  fetch  your  father." 

"  Little  gells  that  don't  say  their  prayers  when  they 
are  bid  won't  go  to  heaven,"  said  the  old  nurse,  who 
had  washed  and  slapped  her  middle-aged  mistress, 
and  whose  theology  was  that  of  an  earlier  generation. 

By  this  time  grandmamma  and  Aunt  Agnes  "had 
arrived  on  the  scene. 

2138309 


2  THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA. 

"You'll  never  get  married  when  you  grow  up,  my 
dear,  if  you  don't  say  your  prayers  and  go  to  church 
regularly,"  said  old  Mrs.  St.  John,  who  had  been  a 
beauty  in  her  youth,  and  whose  eyes,  carriage,  and 
complexion  were  still  the  envy  and  despair  of  younger 
generations.  "  Men  prefer  religious  girls  for  their 
wives." 

"And  only  think  what  Mr.  Daintrey  would  say 
if  he  could  see  you  now,'*  put  in  Miss  Agnes, 
pathetically.     "  He  would  be  so  very,  very  grieved." 

Mr.  Daintrey  was  the  new  curate. 

"I  don't  care,"  said  Candida,  with  another  shake 
of  her  curls.  "  I  don't  want  to  marry  anybody  but 
papa,  and  he  wouldn't  refuse  me,  however  naughty  I 
was.  And  I  don't  care  to  go  to  heaven,  because 
nurse  says  I  can't  have  a  pony  there.  And  I  shall 
be  very  glad  if  you  will  fetch  papa,  because  he  will 
understand." 

So  Mr.  St.  John's  study  was  invaded  by  a  dis- 
tracted-looking female,  and  he,  loo,  was  bidden  to  the 
conclave. 

"  Well,  what's  all  this  about  ? "  he  inquired,  as  he 
entered  the  nursery,  bringing,  as  the  women  felt,  a 
judicial  masculine  mind  to  bear  upon  the  difficulty 
which  threatened  to  disturb  the  peace  and  blessed- 
ness of  the  house.  "  Why  this  sudden  disbelief  in  the 
efficacy  of  prayer  ?  " 

"Will  you  listen  to  me  if  I  tell  you,  without  getting 
cross   and   saying   how   wicked    I    am.?"    asked   his 


THE   CAREER   OF  CANDIDA.  3 

daughter.  "Because  I  don't  really  mean  to  be 
wicked.  I'm  only  trying  not  to  be  a  whited 
sepulchre." 

"I  will  listen  with  attention  and  toleration  to  all 
that  you  have  to  say,"  he  replied  gravely,  "  and 
reserve  my  own  remarks  till  you  have  quite  finished." 

"Thank  you,"  said  Candida.  "Well,  I  am  not 
going  to  pray  any  more  because  I  don't  get  what  I 
pray  for.  The  Bible  says,  '  Ask,  and  ye  shall  receive.* 
Now,  I  have  prayed  for  things  till  I  quite  ached 
inside,  but  I  never  received  them.  I  wanted  a 
Newfoundland  puppy,  and  I've  prayed  for  him  ever 
since  before  last  Christmas,  but  he  hasn't  come.  And 
I  don't  always  pray  for  what  I  want  myself.  On 
your  last  birthday  I  heard  you  say  at  dessert  that 
you  had  got  up  your  last  bottle  of 'forty-seven  port, 
and  you  wished  you  had  another  twenty  dozen,  so  I 
prayed  ever  so  hard  that  God  would  send  you  twenty 
dozen  'forty-seven  port.  I  know  I  got  the  numbers 
right ;  but  you  said  only  yesterday  that  you  should 
have  to  buy  some  new  port,  and  wait  till  it  was  fit  to 
drink." 

"  But  the  Bible  means  spiritual  blessings  when  it 
says,  'Ask,  and  ye  shall  receive,'  "  put  in  Aunt  Agnes, 
who  was  accustomed  to  talk  as  if  she  possessed  a 
private  key  to  the  Scriptures. 

"  Well,  I've  prayed  '  God  bless  father,  and  mother, 
and  granny,  and  Aunt  Aggy '  ever  since  I  was  quite 
a  little  thing,"  answered  her  niece,  more  in  sorrow 


4  THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA. 

than  in  anger,  "and  I  can't  see  that  you  are  any 
blesseder  than  you  were  when  I  began.  Anyway, 
you're  always  saying  you  are  miserable  sinners." 

"You  can't  tell  how  much  less  blessed  we  might 
all  have  been  but  for  your  petitions,"  said  Mr.  St. 
John,  who  had  won  his  small  daughter's  confidence 
by  always  talking  to  her  as  if  she  were  a  reasonable 
being.  "  And  I'll  tell  you  what  I  should  do,  Candida. 
Instead  of  asking  for  new  things,  which  there  may  be 
some  excellent  reason  that  you  shouldn't  have,  I 
should  pray  that  I  might  keep  what  I  had  got. 
There's  poor  old  Boxer — he's  a  very  good  fellow, 
though  he  may  not  be  equal  to  a  Newfoundland 
pup  ;  and  there's  the  pony  and  your  mother  and  me, 
to  say  nothing  of  your  grandmother  and  aunt.  I 
think  you  would  be  sorry  to  lose  any  of  us,  particularly 
the  pony.  So  why  not  pray  that  we  may  all  be  pre- 
served, and  perhaps  in  the  course  of  time  a  New- 
foundland pup  may  be  added  unto  you.  I  cannot 
say  that  I  have  much  hope  of  the  'forty-seven 
port." 

Candida  considered  for  a  moment.  "  Yes,"  she 
decided  at  length.     "  I  don't  mind  doing  that." 

Without  more  ado  she  plumped  down  upon  her 
knees,  shut  her  eyes,  folded  her  hands,  and  whispered 
her  petitions  in  the  orthodox  attitude  of  an  infant  at 
prayer. 

"  Doesn't  she  look  like  a  little  angel,  bless  her  ?  " 
murmured  Aunt  Agnes,  the  tears  rising  to  her  pale 


THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA.  5 

eyes.     " '  Out   of    the   mouths   of  babes   and    suck- 
lings  '  » 

"  All  the  same,"  observed  the  little  angel,  suddenly 
scrambling  to  her  feet,  "  I  don't  think  the  Bible 
ought  to  say,  *  Ask,  and  ye  shall  receive,'  if  it  doesn't 
really  mean  it" 


It  was  mainly  owing  to  her  father's  peculiar  views 
and  eccentric  theories  that  Candida  passed  a  very 
happy  childhood. 

"  We  have  brought  a  girl-child  into  the  world,"  he 
was  accustomed  to  say,  when  his  wife  complained 
of  the  unusual  character  of  their  daughter's  education. 
"Therein  we  have  done  her  an  irreparable  injury^ 
The  only  compensation  that  we  can  make  her  is  to 
let  her  be  a  boy  as  long  as  possible." 

So  it  came  about  that  during  the  first  sixteen 
years  of  our  heroine's  life  she  was  attired  in  tunic 
and  knickerbockers,  had  her  hair  cropped,  was 
encouraged  to  climb  trees  and  ride  the  pony  astride 
and  given,  much  against  her  will,  a  liberal  educa- 
tion. Mr.  Ferrars,  the  vicar,  once  a  well-known  uni- 
versity coach,  instructed  her  in  Latin,  English,  and 
mathematics,  while  her  father  taught  her  Greek. 
Candida  only  enjoyed  her  lessons  with  her  father,  but 
she  worked  splendidly  for  the  vicar,  because,  being 
a  confirmed  woman-hater,  he  constantly  expressed 
the  opinion  that  it  was  no  use  trying  to  give  a  "female 
thing"  a  man's  education,  since  she  could  have  neither 


6  THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA. 

the  intelligence  nor  the  industry  to  profit  by  it.  So 
when  Candida  was  inclined  to  be  idle  or  inattentive, 
her  master's  contemptuous,  "  How  like  a  girl ! "  roused 
her  energies  like  the  prick  of  a  spur.  It  was  fortu- 
nate, perhaps,  that  she  could  not  remember  how 
when  Ted  Ferrars,  the  vicar's  only  son,  played  truant 
from  his  lessons  to  roam  about  the  fields,  his  father 
only  smiled  indulgently,  and  said,  "  Boys  will  be 
boys." 

But  Ted  was  six  or  seven  years  older  than  Candida, 
and  a  great  personage  in  her  eyes,  whom  she  could 
never  have  imagined  guilty  of  fleeing  from  his  books, 
since  he  had  become  a  fine  scholar  as  well  as  a 
distinguished  athlete.  She  was  only  too  proud  when 
Ted  would  let  her  run  about  after  him.  in  the  long 
vacation,  and  give  her  valuable  instruction  in  tennis, 
cricket,  or  shooting  at  a  mark. 

When  Candida  could  get  neither  her  father 
nor  Ted  as  a  companion,  she  spent  her  spare  time 
in  the  stable  with  Lester,  the  old  coachman,  or 
riding  about  the  farms  with  Flaxman,  the  old  bailiff. 
Nearly  all  the  Branksmead  servants  were  old.  For 
girls  she  had  at  that  time  a  supreme  contempt, 
regarding  them  as  inferior  animals  who  were  unable 
to  throw  straight,  dreaded  getting  wet,  and  cried  when 
they  were  hurt. 

If  Candida  had  a  contempt  for  her  own  kind,  it 
must  be  owned  that  she  herself  was  a  source  of  the 
deepest   anxiety  and  misgiving   to   all  her  feminine 


THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA.         '        7 

relations.  Her  aunt  and  grandmother  were  con- 
stantly lamenting  over  the  probable  fate  of  the  poor 
unfortunate  child,  who  was  growing  up  so  rough  and 
wild — a  regular  young  hoyden.  No  man,  they  feared, 
would  ever  think  of  marrying  her  unless  she  changed 
her  ways,  took  some  interest  m  her  appearance,  learnt 
to  play  the  piano,  and  paid  more  attention  to  needle- 
work. It  was  such  a  pity  they  thought,  that  her 
father  should  have  put  the  idea  of  working  for  a 
living  into  her  head  They  knew  that  the  times  were 
very  bad,  they  were  always  having  the  agricultural 
depression  dinned  into  their  ears,  but  they  were 
sure  there  would  always  be  enough  for  them  all 
to  live  upon  There  could  be  no  necessity  that  a 
Miss  St.  John,  of  Branksmead,  should  have  to  stoop 
so  far  as  to  work  for  her  bread. 

It  was  not  until  Candida  was  sixteen  that  Mrs. 
St  JohUj  an  easy-going  woman  by  nature,  was  so 
far  worked  upon  by  her  mother  and  sister-in-law 
as  to  rebel  in  some  measure  against  her  husband's 
system. 

"  How  much  longer  do  you  intend  to  let  Candida 
be  a  boy  ? "  she  asked  him  one  day  as  they  stood 
watching  their  daughter's  efforts  to  "  gentle"  a  par- 
ticularly irritable  young  colt. 

*'  Oh,  I  don't  know,"  he  answered  uneasily,  for 
there  was  a  touch  of  sarcasm  in  her  tone.  "  She 
seems  very  happy  as  she  is.  Why  should  we  make 
any  change   till    we   are   obliged  ?     The  miseries  of 


8        •        THE    CAREER   OF  CANDIDA. 

young  ladyhood  will  fall  upon  her  quite  soon 
enough." 

"  I  think  you  ought  to  try  and  realize,"  said  his 
wife,  firmly,  "that  Candida  is  nearly  grown-up, 
that  she  will  soon  be  a  woman.  Nothing  you  can 
say  or  do  will  alter  that  fact.  And  the  longer 
she  goes  on  pretending  to  be  a  sort  of  boy,  the 
more  difficult  she  will  find  it  to  turn  into  a  young 
lady." 

There  was  reason  in  this,  and  Mr,  St.  John,  though 
a  man  of  theory,  was  able  to  see  reason  when  it  was 
put  to  him  plainly, 

"  What  do  you  wish  me  to  do  ?  "  he  asked. 

"  Begin  by  letting  me  put  Candida  into  long  skirts. 
Those  short  petticoats  and  knickerbockers  look 
quite  disgraceful  on  a  girl  of  her  size," 

*'  But  have  you  forgotten  that  picture  of  the 
Duchess  of  Strathpfeffer  in  her  shooting-costume  ?  " 
asked  her  husband,  "  Her  skirts  were  quite  as  short 
as  Candida's,  and  her  figure  not  nearly  so  well  adapted 
to  knickerbockers. 

That  picture  of  the  duchess  had  been  his  trump- 
card  for  the  past  year  or  two,  but  the  duchess  was  to 
avail  him  no  longer. 

"  I  haven't  forgotten,"  said  Mrs.  St.  John  ;  "  but,  of 
course,  the  duchess  only  wears  that  costume  in  the 
Highlands,  where  it  would  be  quite  in  keeping.  I 
don't  object  to  Candida  wearing  her  short  skirts 
about  the  grounds,  or  even    in  the  village,    because 


THE   CAREER   OF    CANDIDA.  9 

people  are  used  to  seeing  her  dressed  like  that,  and 
everybody  knows  that  she  is  Miss  St  John.  But  she 
ought  to  have  proper  clothes  to  wear  when  she  drives 
out  with  me,  and  goes  into  Brancaster.  And  long 
skirts  will  help  to  tame  her  more  than  anything. 
She  won't  be  able  to  ride  bare-backed,  or  jump  fences, 
or  climb  trees  in  them.  They  will  be  an  education 
in  nice,  gentle,  feminine  ways." 

"  I  accept  the  compromise  under  protest,"  said  Mr. 
St.  John.  "  If  you  women  choose  to  think  that 
nature's  provision  of  two  legs  is  indecent,  and  there- 
fore handicap  yourselves  by  pretending  to  move 
about  on  a  draped  pedestal,  I  suppose  we  have  no 
right  to  complain.  Such  a  proceeding  throws  all 
the  prizes  of  life  into  our  hands." 

Thus  it  came  about  that  a  fashionable  costume  was 
ordered  for  Candida,  who  was  invested  with  it  in  all 
state  on  her  seventeenth  birthday.  With  the  long 
skirt  and  the  tight-fitting  bodice  she  acquired  certain 
ideas  and  sensations  which  hitherto  had  been  absent 
from  her  mind.  For  the  first  time  she  looked  in  the 
glass  for  another  purpose  than  to  see  if  her  face  was 
clean,  twisted  up  her  pig-tail  into  a  tight  knot  at  the 
back  of  her  head,  and  held  her  breath  in  true  feminine 
fashion  when  her  waist  measurement  was  taken. 
Though  she  had  studied  anatomy,  it  was  something 
of  a  shock  to  her  when  the  tape  registered  a  full 
twenty-five  inches.  Truly,  her  initiation  into  the 
ways  of  young  ladyhood  had  begun. 


lo  THE   CAREER  OF   CANDIDA. 

After  breakfast  came  a  serious  conversation  with 
her  father  in  the  study. 

"You  are  nearly  a  woman,"  began  the  squire, 
''and  it  will  soon  be  time  for  you  to  choose  a  pro- 
fession. As  you  know,  the  estate,  such  as  it  is, 
goes  to  your  cousin  at  my  death,  and  your  mother 
and  aunt  will  be  left  with  the  very  smallest  income 
upon  which  they  can  live  in  any  sort  of  comfort. 
Owing  to  the  bad  times  through  which  all  persons 
connected  with  the  land  are  now  passing,  it  is  with 
the  utmost  difficulty  that  I  can  keep  my  head  above 
water,  and  pay  the  interest  on  the  mortgages.  The 
truest  kindness  that  I  can  show  you  is  to  give  you  a 
good  training  for  any  profession  that  you  may  fancy, 
and  thus  arm  you  to  fight  your  own  battle  agamst 
the  world,  since  every  year  will  probably  make  it  more 
and  more  impossible  for  me  to  assist  you.  You  can 
understand  that  where  the  women  of  the  past  gene- 
rations are  helpless  and  entirely  dependent  upon 
their  male  relations,  as  in  the  case  of  your  grand- 
mother and  aunt,  it  becomes  necessary  for  the  women 
of  the  present  to  work  for  themselves.  It  is  no  hard- 
ship, in  my  opinion,  since,  next  to  health,  a  congenial 
occupation  is  the  first  essential  to  human  happiness. 
Have  you  come  to  any  decision  with  regard  to  your 
future  career  ?  " 

"  I  have  been  thinking  about  it  for  years,"  replied 
Candida.  "  Of  course,  I  always  knew  that  I  was  to 
work  for  my  living.    In  fact,  I  couldn't  have  lived  at 


THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA.  ir 

home  all  my  life  doing  nothing,  like  Aunt  Aggie  ;  it 
would  have  driven  me  melancholy  mad.  But  the 
worst  of  it  is  that  the  things  I  should  like  best  to  do 
are  supposed  to  be  impracticable  for  a  woman." 

"  Ah,  I  remember  your  telling  me  some  time  ago 
that  you  would  like  to  be  a  veterinary  surgeon.  I 
think  it  probable  that  you  might  have  practised  that 
profession  with  very  good  success,  but,  unfortunately, 
it  is  closed  to  ladies.     Have  you  no  other  ideas  ?  " 

"  I  used  to  think  I  should  like  to  go  out  to 
America  and  lasso  mustangs  on  the  prairies,  as  they 
do  in  boys'  books  ;  but,  of  course,  that  was  only 
a  childish  fancy.  I  should  have  been  quite  satisfied 
to  read  for  the  Bar,  like  Ted ;  but  that  door  is 
shut  in  my  face.  I  should  like  a  little  more  time 
in  which  to  make  up  my  mind." 

"  Very  well,"  said  her  father.  "  There  is  no  hurry. 
If  no  better  plan  presents  itself,  you  shall  go  to 
Girton  for  three  years,  at  the  end  of  which  time,  if 
you  have  worked  well,  various  occupations  will  be 
open  to  you.  I  see  Ted  Ferrars  coming  up  the  drive. 
Tell  him  to  stop  to  luncheon,  and  take  you  for  a 
walk  afterwards." 


CHAPTER  II. 

The  fact  that  Ted  Ferrars  seemed  considerably  im- 
pressed by  the  long  skirts  and  grown-up  air  of  his 
girl  friend,  afforded  Candida  not  a  little  pride  and 
gratification.  For  the  first  time  in  their  acquaintance 
he  treated  her  with  the  somewhat  formal  and  distant 
courtesy  which  he  considered  the  proper  attitude 
towards  a  full-fledged  young  lady.  Ted  was  not 
much  accustomed  to  feminine  society,  and  blissfully 
ignorant  of  the  ways  of  women.  He  had  no  sisters, 
and  could  not  remember  his  mother  ;  consequently, 
as  his  father  sometimes  observed,  he  thought  that  all 
women  were  angels.  Hitherto,  he  had  regarded 
Candida  as  a  nice  little  fellow  of  no  particular  sex, 
and  it  was  rather  a  shock  to  him,  on  coming  home 
after  six  months*  absence,  to  find  that  she  had 
developed  into  a  creature  whom  he  instinctively  took 
ofi"  his  hat  to,  and  allowed  to  pass  through  a  door 
in  front  of  him. 

By  the  time  they  had  tramped  a  couple  of  miles 
together,  however,  the  strangeness  had  worn  off,  and 


THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA.  13 

he  was  descanting  at  great  length  and  with  over- 
whelming fluency  upon  his  literary  idol  of  the  hour, 
Matthew  Arnold.  Ted  was  at  the  somewhat  trying 
age  when  a  new  mental  phase  is  gone  through 
about  once  in  three  months,  the  malady,  for  such  it 
is,  varying  in  duration  and  intensity  with  the  power 
and  fascination  of  the  author  under  whose  influence 
the  patient  has  temporarily  fallen.  When  Ted  was 
thoroughly  interested  in  a  man  or  book,  he  would 
pour  out  his  mind  on  the  subject  to  any  one  who 
would  listen,  or  even  pretend  to  listen,  to  him.  He 
preferred  a  sympathetic  audience,  but  he  would 
discourse  to  a  post  rather  than  keep  his  valuable 
ideas  to  himself.  Candida  listened  rather  inatten- 
tively as  he  declaimed  the  doctrines  of  sweetness 
and  light,  but  she  inwardly  wondered  how  a  man 
who  had  rowed  stroke  in  his  college  boat,  and  was 
the  best  swift  bowler  in  the  county  cricket-club, 
could  be  so  enthusiastic  about  any  book  or  writer. 
In  her  eyes  the  trail  of  "  lessons "  still  hung  about 
all  books,  and  authors  she  regarded  as  unnecessarily 
tiresome,  long-winded  persons. 

Another  reason  for  her  inattention  lay  in  the  fact 
that  the  roads  were  muddy,  and  that  it  was  necessary 
for  her  to  hold  up  her  skirt,  which  wound  itself  round 
her  legs  in  a  particularly  exasperating  manner,  and 
made  their  four-miles-an-hour  pace  an  unusual  strain 
upon  her  powers. 

•'  Well,  but  what  does  Arnold  want  us  to  do  ?  "  she 


14  THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA. 

asked  at  length,  getting  rather  tired  of  the  reiteration  of 
such  phrases  as  "  conduct  is  three-fourths  of  life,"  "  the 
Eternal  not  ourselves,"  "sweet  reasonableness,"  and 
so  forth. 

"Well,   we   must   control  our  natural    inipulses  of 

self-preservation  and  re "      Ted   pulled  himself 

up  short  in  his  glib  citation.  "Oh,  you  wouldn't 
understand  that  yet.  And  we  must  get  culture ; 
that  is,  get  to  know  the  best  that  has  been  said  and 
written  upon  every  subject.  Otherwise  we  shall 
only  be  barbarians  or  Philistines.  But,  above  all, 
Candida  " — and  here  his  eager,  ugly  face  glowed  with 
enthusiasm — "we  must  try  to  be  a  remnant." 

"A  what  ?"  asked  Candida,  a  faint  reminiscence  of 
a  shopping  excursion  during  the  summer  sales  float- 
ing through  her  mind. 

"  A  remnant  You  see,  the  elect  always  constitute 
a  small  remnant  of  a  nation,  just  as  they  did  with  the 
Jews  and  Greeks.  The  great  mass  of  the  people  are 
ignorant,  sordid,  blown  about  with  every  wind.  They 
are  the  mob,  the  rabble  who  cry  '  Hosanna  I '  one  day 
and  *  Crucify  him  ! '  the  next." 

"  In  that  case,"  said  Candida,  thoughtfully,  **  we 
ought  to  be  governed  by  a  minority.  How  funny  it 
would  be  if  the  candidates  at  an  election  each  wanted 
to  come  in  at  the  bottom  of  the  poll,  and  tried  to 
persuade  their  voters  to  plump  for  their  rivals.  It 
would  be  a  sort  of  political  donkey-race.  Oh,  don't 
look  so  cross,  Ted;  I'm  afraid  I  shall  never  be  a 


THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA.  15 

remnant.  Shall  we  take  the  short  cut  home  through 
the  meadows  ?  I  have  made  my  arm  ache  holding 
up  my  skirt." 

The  pair  turned  into  a  by-lane  which  led  to  the 
gate  of  the  water-meadows.  It  was  a  six-barred 
gate,  and  it  was  locked.  Ted  vaulted  lightly  over, 
and  Candida  was  about  to  do  the  same,  when  she 
remembered  her  new  attire. 

"  Bother  this  skirt !  "  she  grumbled,  as  she  climbed 
bar  by  bar  to  the  top  of  the  gate.  Rejecting  Ted's 
proffered  hand,  she  attempted  to  jump  down,  but  her 
skirt  catching  on  a  projecting  piece  of  wood,  she 
fell  to  the  ground  with  a  force  which  made  her  nose 
bleed,  and  flashed  stars  before  her  eyes.  It  was  a 
new  and  most  humiliating  experience,  for  though 
she  had  often  met  with  accidents  before,  they  had 
hitherto  been  unavoidable,  the  result  of  some  piece  of 
hardihood  on  her  own  part.  But  she  had  never 
fallen  off  an  ordinary  gate  in  that  helpless  feminine 
fashion,  and  she  felt  thoroughly  degraded  in  her  own 
sight. 

Much  to  Ted's  surprise  and  consternation,  his 
companion,  instead  of  jumping  up  and  laughing  at 
her  own  clumsiness,  sat  still  upon  the  muddy  ground, 
and  burst  into  tears. 

"Oh,  I'm  afraid  you  have  hurt  yourself  badly," 
said  the  young  man,  kneeling  down  beside  her.  '*  Do 
you  think  you  have  broken  any  bones  ?  Shall  I  run 
and  fetch  you  some  water  ?  " 


i6  THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA. 

"No,  no,"  wept  Candida.  "I'm  not  hurt— not  to 
matter.  It's  all  this  beastly  skirt  I  shall  never, 
never  be  happy  again.  I  can't  even  jump  off  a 
gate." 

"  Oh,  well,  never  mind,"  said  Ted,  awkwardly,  as  he 
tried  to  wipe  off  the  mud  from  her  face  with  his 
pocket-handkerchief.  "It's  what  all  girls  have  to 
put  up  with,  you  know,  so  I  suppose  it's  all  right. 
And  you'll  get  used  to  it  in  no  time,  I  expect" 

"It's  not  all  right,"  cried  Candida,  passionately  J 
"it's  perfectly  infernal,  and  I  shall  never  get  used 
to  it,  not  if  I  live  to  be  a  hundred.  Father  was 
right  when  he  said  this  morning  that  I  was  being 
crippled  for  life.  But  please  go  away  and  leave  me 
alone,  Ted.  I  hate  to  be  pitied ;  I  prefer  to  be 
miserable  all  by  myself." 

Thus  bidden,  Ted  went  reluctantly  away.  If  he 
himself  had  fallen  into  such  a  plight  he  knew  that  he 
should  have  much  preferred  no  eye-witness  of  his  woe. 
Yet  there  seemed  something  horribly  unchivalrous  in 
leaving  a  lady  to  sit  on  the  ground  and  mingle  her 
tears  with  her  blood.  He  compromised  the  matter 
by  hiding  behind  a  tree  at  a  respectful  distance,  until 
he  saw  the  disconsolate  damsel  rise  to  her  feet,  go 
and  wash  her  face  in  the  brook  that  flowed  through 
the  meadow,  and  then  set  off  towards  home. 

On  arriving  at  the  Hall,  Candida  went  straight  to 
the  study,  where  she  found  the  squire  busy  over  his 
accounts. 


THE  CAREER   OF   CANDIDA.  17 

"  Father,"  she  said  in  the  tone  of  one  who  has  just 
taken  a  solemn  resolution,  "  I  have  quite  made  up 
my  mind  about  my  future  profession.  I  wish  to  be 
an  acrobat." 

"  An  acrobat !  "  said  Mr.  St.  John,  raising  his  eye- 
brows in  mild  surprise.  "  Isn't  this  a  little  sudden  ? 
May  I  ask  what  has  led  you  to  this  decision  ?  " 

"Acrobats  don't  wear  skirts,"  returned  Candida, 
promptly.  "  It  is  the  only  profession  I  can  think  of, 
the  practice  of  which  will  ensure  me  the  free  use  of 
my  limbs." 

"  I'm  afraid  that  acrobats  have  to  begin  their  train- 
ing in  the  nursery,"  said  Mr.  St.  John.  "And  I  fancy 
they  are  usually  chosen  from  among  those  who  have 
an  hereditary  gift  for  tumbling,  which  is  not  the  case 
with  you.  But  there  are  so  many  new  occupations 
for  women  nowadays  that  there  may  be  another 
which  would  meet  your  requirements.  I  will  write 
to  my  old  friend,  Mrs.  Festus,  and  ask  her  advice. 
She  combines  all  the  experience  of  age  with  much  of 
the  liberality  and  enlightenment  of  youth." 

"  Thank  you,"  said  Candida,  carefully  feeling  her 
nose,  which  seemed  to  be  gradually  increasing  in  size 
and  heat.  "If  anything  could  reconcile  me  to  being 
a  girl  it  would  be  having  a  man  like  you  for  my 
father.  You  never  seem  to  think  that  because  I  am 
thirty  years  younger  than  you  I  must  be  thirty  times 
more  foolish." 

Candida's  appearance,  and  the  accident  that   had 


i8  THE  CAREER  OF   CANDIDA. 

damaged  her  beauty,  called  forth  a  good  deal  of  com- 
ment at  the  afternoon  tea-table. 

"A  young  lady  of  seventeen,"  said  her  mother, 
"  should  know  better  than  to  go  careering  across 
country,  and  climbing  over  gates.  Why  can't  you 
walk  quietly  through  the  lanes  as  your  aunts  and  I 
used  to  do  when  we  were  girls  ?  If  we  came  to  a 
stile  or  a  locked  gate  we  turned  back  at  once  ;  we 
had  too  much  consideration  for  our  frocks  to  risk 
soiling  or  tearing  them.  Your  new  dress  is  covered 
with  mud,  and  torn  out  at  the  gathers." 

"  We  used  to  walk  in  the  fields  sometimes  when  I 
was  a  girl,  but  only  if  we  had  a  gentleman  to  escort 
us,"  put  in  Miss  Agnes,  gently.  "  I  remember  one 
day  we  were  out  with  Sir  James  Courthope,  and  we 
met  a  dreadful  cow  which  we  thought  was  a  mad  bull. 
I  fainted  dead  away,  and  my  sister  Ellen  nearly  went 
into  hysterics,  and  Sir  James  had  to  fetch  a  carriage 
to  take  us  home." 

"  You  seem  to  have  given  a  great  deal  of  unneces- 
sary trouble,"  remarked  Candida.  "Poor  Sir 
James ! " 

"  Men  prefer  women  who  are  timid  and  helpless," 
said  the  dowager  Mrs.  St  John,  who  always  spoke 
of  men  with  the  air  of  one  having  authority.  "  And 
let  me  tell  you,  Candida,  they  don't  admire  young 
ladies  with  scratched  hands  and  swollen  noses.  You 
will  never  be  a  social  success  if  you  don't  alter  your 
ways   very   much.     When    I   was   your   age    I    was 


THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA.  19 

engaged  in  my  third  love  affair  and  by  the  time  I 
was  eighteen  I  had  had  nineteen  proposals.  Did  I 
ever  tell  you  about  the  first  time  I  went  to  the  opera, 
and  how  the  young  queen,  who  was  then  a  bride, 
was  deeply  annoyed  because  the  princes  and  the 
gentlemen  of  the  royal  party  did  nothmg  but  stare 
at  our  box  ? " 

"  That  was  certainly  very  ill-mannered,"  said 
Candida,  gravely.  She  had  heard  the  anecdote 
many  times  before,  and  was  aware  that  her  comment 
was  not  exactly  of  the  kind  that  was  expected  or 
desired. 

In  the  course  of  two  or  three  days  Mrs.  Festus's 
reply  to  her  old  friend's  letter  ai  rived.  The  acrobatic 
idea  she  dismissed  at  once  as  out  of  the  question. 
"  But,"  she  proceeded,  "  it  your  daughter  wishes  for 
an  active  career,  her  best  plan  would  be  to  go  into 
training  as  a  gymnastic-instructor.  The  profession 
is  not  as  yet  overcrowded,  few  ladies  having  taken 
it  up,  while  there  are  new  openings  in  connection 
with  high  schools  and  colleges  every  year.  The 
training,  which  lasts  about  two  years,  should  begin 
when  a  girl  is  seventeen  or  eighteen  years  of  age, 
and  at  the  end  of  the  second  year,  if  she  has  made 
the  most  of  her  time,  she  should  have  little  difficulty 
in  obtaining  an  appointment.  I  understand  that 
well-qualified,  experienced  teachers  who  have  taken 
up  musical  drill,  fencing,  and  skirt-dancing,  as  well  as 
gymnastics  proper,  are  able  to  earn  two  hundred  a 


30  THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA. 

year  and  upwards  at  their  profession.  The  fees 
amount  to  about  thirty  pounds  a  year,  and  I  suppose 
there  would  be  a  premium  ;  but  I  can  obtain  all 
particulars  from  my  friend,  Miss  Mason,  the  head 
of  the  Bloomsbury  Gymnasium  for  Women. 

"  If  your  Candida  takes  to  the  idea,  let  her  come  to 
me  for  the  time  of  her  training.  She  would  have  two 
young  companions  in  my  house,  one  studying  paint- 
ing and  the  other  medicine." 

Candida  did  take  to  the  idea  very  eagerly,  for  work 
which  consisted  chiefly  of  climbing,  jumping,  vaulting 
and  swinging  sounded  like  the  most  delightful  kind 
of  play.  Latterly  her  athletic  feats  had  been  per- 
formed in  secret  with  the  consciousness  that  should 
they  come  to  her  mother's  ears  they  would  be  looked 
upon  with  disapproval  as  unseemly  for  a  young  lady 
of  seventeen.  But  now  those  restless  limbs  and  active 
muscles  of  hers  would  be  allowed  full  scope,  and  the 
performances  which  had  hitherto  been  regarded  as 
hoydenish,  would  be  smiled  upon  as  praiseworthy 
efforts  to  improve  herself  in  her  profession.  Some 
opposition  the  new  plan  met  with  from  the  feminine 
part  of  the  family,  for  though  they  had  but  the 
vaguest  ideas  about  the  calling  of  gymnastic  in- 
structor, the  novelty  of  the  occupation  made  them 
suspect  that  it  must  be  eccentric,  and  unsuited  to  the 
dignity  of  a  Miss  St.  John  of  Branksmead,  even 
though  Branksmead  were  a  falling  house.  But  the 
squire  was  firm  in  his  determination  that  his  daugliter 


THE  CAREER  OF  CANDIDA.  21 

should  be  as  free  to  choose  her  own  vocation  in  life 
as  though  she  were  his  son. 

So  it  came  about  that  one  morning  early  in 
October,  Candida,  outwardly  cheerful  and  of  good 
courage,  but  inwardly  shivering  and  forlorn,  set  out 
alone  upon  her  first  flight  into  the  strange  world. 
Her  father  had  insisted  that  she  should  be  unsupported 
on  this  occasion  by  either  her  mother  or  himself. 
The  sooner  she  learnt  independence  and  self-reliance 
the  better,  he  declared  ;  and  besides,  young  people 
always  got  on  better  with  strangers,  and  were  less 
inclined  to  be  self-conscious  when  deprived  of  the 
countenance  of  their  nearest  relatives.  The  following 
letter  was  received  at  Branksmead  on  the  day  but 
one  after  her  departure  : — 

"200,  Bloomsbury  Square, 

"  October  8th,   188-. 

"My  dear  Father  and  Mother, 

"You  will  have  got  my  telegram  yesterday 
saying  that  I  arrived  safely  in  Bloomsbury  Square. 
It  seems  a  long  time  ago  already ;  so  much  has 
happened  since,  I  think  I  shall  like  Mrs.  Festus, 
though  she  is  rather  alarming  at  first  sight,  being  so 
big  and  handsome,  and  having  such  very  white  hair, 
with  such  piercing  dark  eyes.  She  is  quite  different 
from  any  other  woman  I  have  ever  known  ;  I  mean 
in  her  ideas  and  opinions.  She  told  me  she  had  only 
one  rule  for  her  household,  and  that  was  '  Live  and 


22  THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA. 

let  live.*  She  says  that  most  women  martyrize 
themselves  and  everybody  about  them  with  fussy 
little  rules,  which  are  more  honoured  in  the  breach 
than  the  observance.  She  thinks,  after  studying  my 
face,  that  my  imagination  and  emotional  nature  have 
not  been  sufficiently  cultivated,  and  she  is  going  to 
put  me  through  a  course  of  novels  and  poetry.  She 
told  me,  also,  to  talk  to  the  servants,  and  try  to  get 
upon  confidential  terms  with  them.  Isn't  that  funny  ? 
She  brought  in  the  tea  herself  because  the  parlour- 
maid was  having  a  violin  lesson. 

"At  dinner  I  saw  the  other  girls  who  are  living 
here.  The  medical  one  is  plain,  and  has  a  bumpy 
forehead.  The  artist  one  would  be  pretty  if  her  hair 
were  not  like  a  deserted  bird's-nest,  and  if  she  did  not 
wear  such  queer  clothes.  I  like  her  the  best,  though. 
She  said  she  hoped  I  was  not  intellectual,  as  she  was 
tired  of  being  the  only  fool  in  the  house.  About 
half  an  hour  after  dinner  the  three  maids  came  into 
the  drawing-room,  and  Mrs.  Festus  read  aloud  out  of 
a  book  called  "  Christie  Johnstone."  The  cook,  who 
is  rather  stout,  groaned  at  intervals,  but  Mrs.  Festus 
said  afterwards  that  she  always  groans  at  the  pas- 
sages she  likes  best.  She  says  Mariana  (that's  the 
cook's  name)  is  passionately  fond  of  poetry,  particu- 
larly of  the  morbid  kind,  but  that  she  very  seldom 
allows  her  to  read  any  now  because  it  makes  her  cry 
so  that  all  the  dishes  are  too  salt. 

"  This  morning  Mrs.  Festus  went  with  me  to  the 


THE   CAREER   OF  CANDIDA.  23 

Gymnasium,  which  is  only  five  minutes'  walk  from 
here.  Miss  Mason,  the  chief,  is  a  very  clever  woman  ; 
she  can  pull  up  on  the  bar  with  one  hand.  We  did 
musical  drill  first,  and  afterwards  exercises  on  the 
horizontal  and  parallel  bars,  the  ladders,  flying  rings 
and  vaulting-horse,  as  well  as  rope-climbing  and  the 
high  jump.  I  was  so  stupid  at  everything  except 
the  vaulting  and  jumping  that  I  felt  horrribly  ashamed 
of  myself,  but  they  were  all  very  kind,  and  said  I 
should  be  sure  to  get  on  because  I  was  not  afraid 
of  falling  about  and  hurting  myself. 

'*  I  am  going  to  be  tremendously  busy  now,  because 
there  are  several  classes  every  day,  and  I  have  to 
attend  anatomy  lectures  as  well. 

**  Love  to  granny  and  Aunt  Aggie. 

"  Your  affectionate  daughter, 

"Candida  St.  John." 


CHAPTER  III. 

On  a  July  morning,  two  years  later,  Candida  awoke 
to  the  delightful  consciousness  that  she  was  free  at 
last  from  a  state  of  pupilage,  having  triumphantly 
passed  all  her  examinations,  and  that  as  soon  as  the 
holidays  were  over  the  post  awaited  her  of  assistant 
instructor  at  the  Bloomsbury  Gymnasium,  at  a  salary 
of  sixty  pounds  a  year.  Meanwhile,  it  was  pleasant 
to  think  of  Branksmead,  where  she  would  be  before 
the  evening,  and  the  two  months'  holidays,  which  had 
been  well-earned  by  the  past  half-year  of  hard  work, 
mental  as  well  as  physical.  Her  mind,  which  up  to 
her  eighteenth  year  had  been  far  less  developed 
than  her  body,  had  since  begun  to  work  with  a 
vigour  that  bade  fair  to  make  up  very  quickly  for 
its  past  inertia.  A  course  of  novels  and  poetry,  as 
prescribed  by  Mrs.  Festus,  had  roused  her  imagina- 
tion and  awakened  in  her  a  taste  for  reading  for 
its  own  sake.  In  her  spare  time  she  greedily  devoured 
books  on  any  and  every  subject — history,  science, 
philosophy  ;  nothing  came  amiss  to  her,  and  it  was 


THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA.  25 

probably  chiefly  due  to  the  excellence  of  her  physical 
condition  that  she  escaped  a  bad  attack  .of  mental 
indigestion.  But  when  the  brain  is  overloaded  or 
over-stimulated,  nothing  can  be  better  adapted  to 
restore  its  equilibrium  than  for  its  owner  to  turn 
somersaults  on  the  trapeze,  or  to  *'  circle  "  round  the 
horizontal  bar  until  she  can  scarcely  distinguish 
her  heels  from  her  head. 

At  nineteen,  Candida  had  reached  her  full  height 
of  five  feet  nine,  and  she  turned  the  scale  at  ten  stone. 
In  certain  branches  of  her  chosen  profession  she 
had  gained  considerable  distinction,  notably  in  those 
which  required  strength  and  nerve  rather  than  grace 
or  dexterity.  She  was  an  accomplished  performer 
upon  the  horizontal  and  parallel  bars,  the  vaulting- 
horse  and  swings.  Her  fencing  was  dashing  and 
fearless,  but  rather  lacking  in  neatness,  while  at  skirt- 
dancing  she  was  never  more  than  a  mediocre  per- 
former. Thanks  to  her  good  temper  and  genuine 
enthusiasm  for  her  work,  she  had  got  on  well  with 
both  pupils  and  instructors,  and  gave  promise  of 
herself  becoming  a  successful  teacher.  In  the  course 
of  her  two  years'  training  she  had  made  several 
friends,  but  had  remained  entirely  free  from  the  inter- 
ruptions or  distractions  of  a  love-affair,  or  even  of  a 
mild  flirtation.  Her  observation  had  led  her  to  the 
conclusion  that  love  was  trying  to  the  temper  and 
disastrous  to  the  nerves,  and  consequently  she  had 
early  made  up  her  mind  to  keep  clear  of  the  tender 


26  THE    CAREER   OF   CANDIDA. 

passion,  at  any  rate  until  she  had  gained  a  firm 
footing  in  her  profession. 

At  Branksmead  station  the  old  coachman  who  had 
given  her  her  first  riding-lesson  was  waiting  with  the 
old  dog-cart  and  the  well-bred  little  mare  which,  in 
her  shabby  harness,  looked  like  some  fine  lady 
masquerading  in  beggar's  costume. 

"  Nancy  looks  very  fit,"  remarked  Candida,  as  they 
went  swinging  up  the  long  hill  from  the  station. 
"  You  haven't  forgotten  the  old  recipe  for  grooming  a 
horse,  I  see,  Lester." 

"  No,  Miss  Candy,  no,"  replied  the  old  man,  with 
a  chuckle.  "The  young  fellows,  they're  mighty 
particular  about  their  tools,  and  run  their  masters  up 
a  bill  for  more  brushes  and  things  than  I  know 
the  names  of,  but  they  forget  the  elbow-grease— they 
forget  the  elbow-grease.  They  come  a-driving  over 
to  the  Hall,  and  turn  up  their  noses  at  my  harness- 
room,  and  think  a  lot  of  theirselves  because  they  sit 
behind  a  dirty  pair  of  jobbed  horses.  But  I  says  I'd 
rather  drive  one  beast  as  can  hold  up  her  head 
for  herself,  than  two  as  have  to  have  theirn  strapped 
up  with  bearing-reins.  And  I  takes  my  hand  and 
rubs  their  bosses'  coats  the  wrong  way,  and  lawk! 
you  should  see  the  muck  that  comes  out.  Then  I 
tells  'em  they  can  stroke  my  mare  any  .  time  with 
a  fresh  pipe-clayed  glove,  and  no  damage  done. 
I  don't  groom  her  as  if  I  was  wiping  a  baby." 

Candida  laughed. 


THE   CAREER  OF   CANDIDA.  27 

"  I  see  the  cart  is  getting  the  worse  for  wear," 
she  said.  "  I  suppose  my  father  cannot  afford  to  buy 
a  new  one,  with  two  more  farms  thrown  on  his 
hands,  and  a  further  reduction  of  rents." 

"No,  no,"  grumbled  the  old  man;  "when  the 
tenants  want  to  live  like  fighting-cocks,  the  landlords 
have  to  pinch.  These  new-fangled  farmers,  with 
their  hunters  and  pony-carriages  and  pianos,  how  do 
they  think  they're  going  to  pay  for  all  that  off  the 
land  ?  Why,  they  don't  get  their  breakfasts  till  near 
dinner-time,  nor  their  dinners  till  bed-time.  And 
their  fine  lady  wives  and  daughters  never  go  near 
the  cows  or  the  poultry.  '  Nasty,  dirty  things  ! '  they 
says.  *  Oh  no,  I  don't  know  the  price  of  butter 
nor  eggs.  You  must  ask  the  dairy-woman  or  the 
hen-wife.'  Now,  you  know.  Miss  Candy,  the  land 
won't  stand  that  in  good  times,  much  less  in 
bad." 

They  had  now  reached  the  lodge  gates,  and  were 
soon  spinning  up  the  avenue  that  led  to  the  Hall. 
Mr.  St.  John  was  standing  on  the  steps  to  receive 
his  daughter.  She  fancied  that  he  looked  greyer 
and  more  stooping  than  when  she  had  last  seen  him 
only  six  months  before. 

"  Poor  father  ! "  she  said  to  herself,  "  I  wish  I  could 
earn  enough  to  help  him.  But,  at  least,  I'll  never 
be  another  burden  to  weigh  him  down." 

The  ladies  of  the  family  were  assembled  in  the 
drawing-room,  eagerly   awaiting   both   the   traveller 


28    .         THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA. 

and    their   tea,  which  they  had  postponed  drinking 
until  her  arrival. 

"  Well,  my  child,"  said  Mrs.  St.  John,  standing  on 
tip-toe  to  kiss  her  tall  daughter.  "  Are  you  very 
tired  after  your  long  journey  ?  You  must  be  dying 
for  your  tea." 

"  Tired  !  "  said  Candida,  in  surprise.  "  Why,  I've 
done  nothing  but  sit  perfectly  still  for  the  last  three 
or  four  hours.  I  feel  as  fresh  as  a  daisy.  And  I 
gave  up  tea  some  time  ago ;  I  find  that  my  hand 
is  steadier  without  it.  No,  no  muffin,  thank  you  ;  I 
should  like  some  bread  and  butter,  stale  bread,  please, 
and  cut  rather  thick." 

"  Turn  to  the  light,  child,  and  let  me  see  how  you 
are  looking,"  said  her  grandmother.  "  H'm,  you  have 
grown  up  to  your  features,  and  your  complexion  is 
clearer.  But  people  will  not  climb  on  chairs  to  look 
at  you,  as  they  used  to  do  at  me.  Did  I  ever  tell 
you  about  the  first  time  I  went  to  the  opera,  and 
how  annoyed  the  queen  was  because  the  princes  did 
nothing  but  stare  at  our  box  ?  " 

"  I  have  no  doubt  you  were  well  worth  looking  at," 
said  Candida,  who  had  learnt  a  little  tolerance  in  the 
past  two  years.  "  As  for  me,  I  know  I'm  not  a 
beauty,  but  I  had  better  biceps  than  any  other  girl  at 
the  Gymnasium." 

"  Biceps !  The  idea  of  a  young  lady  having 
biceps ! "  Mrs.  St.  John  closed  her  eyes  for  a 
moment,  as   though   to   shut   out  the  thought,  then 


THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA.  29 

went  on  querulously,  "  It  seems  to  me  that  the 
young  people  grow  plainer  and  more  unattractive 
every  day.  The  new  curate  came  to  see  me  this 
morning,  and  you  never  saw  such  a  nose  as  he  has. 
It  isn't  a  feature,  it's  a  limb.  A  man  with  a  nose 
like  that  ought  never  to  have  been  ordained." 

"  Bishops  evidently  think  that  beauty  is  a  snare," 
said  her  son,  lightly.  "  You  used  to  say  that  the  last 
curate  had  a  mouth  like  an  earthquake." 

"  So  he  had,"  retorted  the  old  lady.  "  And  he  made 
it  worse  by  preaching  two  extempore  sermons  every 
Sunday." 

"  I  should  like  to  go  out  and  look  round  the 
place  before  dinner,"  said  Candida,  who  had  dis- 
posed of  her  bread  and  butter.  "Will  you  come, 
father  ? " 

The  pair  went  out  together,  the  one  young  and 
supple  and  straight  as  an  arrow,  the  other  prema- 
turely aged,  bowed  beneath  the  burden  of  a  hopelessly 
encumbered  estate  and  three  helpless  women.  They 
went  first  to  the  stables,  which  presented  a  long  row 
of  loose  boxes,  all  empty  save  for  the  one  occupied 
by  Nancy,  who  thrust  her  nose  through  the  boxes 
in  the  well-founded  expectation  of  sugar.  The 
kennels  were  visited  next,  where  dwelt  in  solitary 
grandeur  an  old  setter,  who  showed  but  a  chastened 
pleasure  at  the  sight  of  his  young  mistress.  Being 
a  dog  of  conservative  views,  he  could  only  feel  a 
qualified    approval   of    a    young    lady  who   was   so 


30  THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA. 

ill-advised  as  to  leave  her  home  and  family  for  ten 
months  out  of  the  twelve. 

"  We  will  talk  over  your  plans  for  the  future  to- 
morrow morning,"  said  her  father.  "This  first  even- 
ing shall  be  given  up  to  frivolity.  By  the  way,  I 
suppose  you  know  that  Ted  Ferrars  is  at  home 
now  ?  He  is  coming  up  some  time  to-morrow  to  see 
his  old  playfellow." 

"  I  am  very  glad,"  said  Candida.  "  I  haven't  seen 
Ted  for  months.  He  has  been  very  busy,  I  believe, 
since  he  was  called  to  the  Bar;  he  seems  to  have 
made  a  good  start  in  his  profession." 


"That's  not  a  bad  tea-gown,"  observed  Mrs.  St.  John 
the  elder,  looking  critically  at  her  granddaughter, 
as  the  four  ladies  sat  together  after  dinner.  "  But 
I  prefer  to  see  young  women  in  evening  dress." 

"  I  never  wear  evening  dress,"  replied  Candida. 

"Yet  )ou  have  such  beautiful  arms  and  shoulders," 
sighed  her  mother.  "  It  seems  a  pity  that  nobody 
should  ever  see  them." 

"  I  suppose  my  husband  will  see  them  some  day," 
said  her  daughter.  "  I  don't  consider  that  anybody 
else  has  any  right  to  see  them." 

Miss  Agnes  blushed.  She  thought  the  conversa- 
tion had  taken  an  indelicate  turn,  which  was  some- 
what inconsistent,  considering  that  her  own  collar- 
bones were  liberally  displayed. 


THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA.  31 

"  Your  husband  !  "  repeated  the  dowager.  ''  Have 
you  ever  had  an  offer  of  marriage  ?  " 

"  No,  not  a  ghost  of  one,"  replied  Candida,  cheer- 
fully. 

"And  you  are  nineteen,"  said  the  old  lady,  re- 
proachfully. "  At  your  age  I  was  married,  and 
my  husband  was  my  twenty-fifth  lover.  But  I 
suppose  you  modern  young  ladies  despise  men  and 
marriage." 

"  Not  at  all.  I  consider  that  every  healthy  woman 
should  be  married  by  the  time  she  is  twenty-five,  and 
a  mother  before  she  is  thirty." 

"  My  dear,  what  dreadful  things  you  say,"  cried  the 
three  ladies,  while  Miss  Agnes  glanced  at  the  door, 
as  though  meditating  flight. 

"  Why  ? "  asked  Candida.  "  Is  there  anything 
dreadful  in  discussing  some  of  the  most  important 
questions  of  life  with  the  women  of  one's  own  family  ? 
I  have  every  intention  of  marrying  if  I  meet  the  right 
man,  and  I  hope  to  justify  my  existence  by  carrying 
on  the  race  as  well  as  working  for  it." 

"  But  supposing,"  hesitated  her  aunt,  who  was 
getting  a  little  hardened  to  these  continual  shocks 
to  her  sense  of  propriety — "  supposing  you  became 
attached  to  a  gentleman  who  did  not  return  your 
affection  ?  " 

Candida  considered  for  a  moment. 

"  Well,  in  that  case,"  she  replied  at  length,  "  I 
should  have  had  a  very  valuable  experience." 


3a  THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA. 

Mr.  St.  John,  who  had  come  into  the  room  just  as 
the  last  question  was  put,  broke  into  a  laugh. 

"You  are  really  very  amusing,  Candida,"  he  said. 
"  What  a  pity  it  is  that  you  are  quite  unable  to 
appreciate  your  own  humour." 

The  next  morning  a  prolonged  discussion  was  held 
on  the  subject  of  ways  and  means,  and  plans  for  the 
future.  Candida  submitted  to  her  parents'  approval 
a  scheme  for  sharing  a  lodging  with  her  friend  Sabina 
Romney,  who  had  been  a  fellow-inmate  with  her  of 
the  house  in  Bloomsbury  Square,  and  who  had  lately 
obtained  an  engagement  at  the  Piccadilly  Theatre,  at 
the  magnificent  salary  of  three  guineas  a  week. 

"  Sabina  has  some  furniture  that  belonged  to  her 
mother,"  explained  Candida.  "  So  we  think  of  taking 
three  little  unfurnished  rooms  somewhere  near  the 
Museum." 

"And  how  will  you  pay  your  share  of  the  board 
and  lodging,  and  clothe  yourself  out  of  three  and 
twenty  shillings  a  week .-' "  asked  her  father. 

"Oh,  it  can  be  done,"  said  his  daughter,  confidently. 
"There  are  lots  of  respectable  women  living  in 
London  on  less  than  sixty  pounds  a  year.  I  must 
have  enough  to  eat,  of  course,  but  I  shall  make  up 
my  mind  to  go  into  no  kind  of  society  where  dress 
matters,  and  as  I  shall  be  wearing  my  gymnasium 
costume  for  about  eight  hours  a  day,  I  shall  want 
to  buy  very  little,  except  boots.  Then  I  have  the 
promise  of  some  private  pupils,  and  after  the  summer 


THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA.  si 

holidays  my  salary  is  to  be  raised.  I  have  thoujjht 
it  all  out,  and  I  am  sure  that  I  can  manage  with 
care  and  economy." 

"  Well,"  said  her  father,  "  if  you  can  fight  your  way 
to  success  alone  and  unaided,  so  much  the  better.  A 
touch  of  privation  will  do  you  no  harm,  and  some 
day  you  will  probably  look  back  upon  this  period  of 
struggle  as  the  happiest  time  in  your  life.  All  the 
same,  I  shall  pay  a  small  sum  into  your  account  at 
the  bank,  which  you  can  draw  upon  should  you  be  ill 
or  out  of  work." 

"111!"  cried  Candida,  squaring  her  shoulders. 
"  Do  I  look  as  if  I  were  likely  to  be  ill  ?  And  as  for 
the  probability  of  being  out  of  work — well,  you 
haven't  seen  my  certificates  yet." 

"And  this  Miss  Romney,"  asked  Mrs.  St.  John. 
"  Is  she  a  sensible  sort  of  girl  ?  " 

"  Well  no,"  replied  her  daughter.  "  I  don't  think 
her  worst  enemy  could  call  Sabina  a  sensible  girl. 
She  is  very  pretty  and  fascinating,  and  perfectly  easy 
to  get  on  with  as  long  as  she  is  not  jealous  of  you, 
and  she  is  never  jealous  of  me.  She  is  apt  to  fancy 
herself  in  love  with  some  man  or  other,  but  it  doesn't 
really  mean  anything,  and  she  gets  tired  of  them  as 
soon  as  they  fall  in  love  with  her.  I  know  the  worst 
of  Sabina,  and  as  I  shall  be  out  all  day  and  she  will 
be  out  all  the  evening,  it  will  be  strange  if  we  can't 
manage  to  get  on  together." 

**  Well,  it  all  seems  very  odd  and  peculiar,"  sighed 


34  THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA. 

Mrs.  St.  John.  "  I  suppose  you'll  never  have  proper 
meals,  and  you'll  sit  up  late,  and  get  your  feet  wet, 
and  everybody  will  wonder  what  we  can  be  thinking 
of  to  let  you  go  and  live  in  lodgings  like  a  bachelor. 
However,  I  wash  my  hands  of  it  all." 

"Would  you  rather  I  spent  my  time  like  Aunt 
Aggie,  in  making  comforters  that  nobody  wears,  and 
taking  soup  to  people  who  throw  it  out  of  the  window 
as  soon  as  her  back  is  turned  ?  " 

"  No,  but  I  should  like  you  to  go  to  parties  and 
balls,  and  have  pretty  frocks,  and  get  married,  as  I  did 
when  I  was  a  girl." 

"  Unfortunately,  nobody  ever  gives  balls  in  this 
neighbourhood,  and  there  are  no  men  to  marry, 
except  poor  Ted.  And  that  reminds  me,  Ted  is 
coming  to  have  some  singles  with  me  to-day.  I 
must  go  and  cut  the  grass." 

When  Ted  arrived  he  found  his  old  playfellow 
engaged  in  running  a  good-sized  lawn-mower  over 
the  grass. 

"  You  can  take  the  handles  and  steer,"  she  said,  in 
response  to  his  offer  of  help.  She  harnessed  herself 
to  the  ropes,  and  began  to  stride  up  and  down  at  a 
pace  that  left  her  companion  no  inclination  for  speech. 

"There,  that  has  taken  exactly  thirty-five  minutes," 
observed  Candida,  when  the  task  was  ended.  "  The 
gardener  and  the  boy  seldom  do  it  under  two  hours. 
I  took  the  place  of  the  boy  once,  but  the  gardener 
broke  down  before  we  had  cut  half,  and  had  to  be 


THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA.  35 

restored  with  porter,  so  I  thought  I  had  better  do  it 
alone  to-day.     You  look  rather  warm." 

Ted,  conscious  of  a  scarlet  face  and  streaming  brow, 
murmured  something  apologetic  about  being  out  of 
training. 

'*  We'll  have  some  hard  singles  after  lunch,"  said 
Candida.  "  That  will  soon  get  you  into  condition 
again." 

He  looked  at  her  with  surprise  and  a  half  unwilling 
admiration  as  she  stood  facing  him,  her  breathing 
scarcely  quickened,  her  cool  cheek  just  tinged  with 
pink.  She  had  improved  in  aopearance,  he  decided, 
during  the  four  or  five  months  that  had  elapsed 
since  he  had  last  seen  her.  She  stood  within  an 
inch  of  his  own  height,  and  her  figure,  which,  but 
for  the  culture  it  had  received,  might  have  been  rather 
heavy  for  her  age,  was  admirably  lithe  and  supple. 
Her  alert,  fearless  bearing,  and  the  long  sweeping 
line  of  her  limbs  recalled  the  classical  enthusiasms 
of  his  college  days,  and  he  mentally  compared  her 
with  some  huntress  nymph,  swiftest-footed  of  the 
followers  of  Artemis.  In  face  she  was  not,  as  her 
grandmother  had  remarked,  a  striking  beauty. 
Abundant  fair  hair,  clear  blue-grey  eyes,  perfect  teeth 
and  an  unimpeachable  complexion  were  her  chief 
attractions,  for  the  mouth  was  too  large  and  the 
line  of  jaw  slightly  too  heavy,  while  there  was  as 
yet  no  subtlety  in  her  expression,  no  challenge  in  her 
glance. 


36  THE  CAREER    OF   CANDIDA. 

Ted  wondered  whether  she  had  grown  in  mind  as 
well  as  in  body,  and  smiled  involuntarily  as  he 
remembered  his  boyish  outpourings  into  her  un- 
sympathetic ears.  The  same  recollection  recurred 
later  to  Candida  herself,  for  while  they  were  resting 
after  a  couple  of  hard  singles  she  inquired — 

"  Who  are  the  objects  of  your  idolatry  just  now, 
Ted  ?  The  last  time  I  saw  you  they  were  Ibsen 
and  Tolstoi,  and  years  ago  I  remember  you  at  the 
Matthew  Arnold  stage.  I  have  been  through  it  all 
myself  since  then,  even  to  the  yearning  to  be  a 
remnant. 

"  Then  you  find  time  to  read  ? "  he  asked. 

"  Of  course.  Mrs.  Festus  says  it  is  as  foolish  to  say 
we  have  no  time  to  read  as  it  would  be  to  say  we 
have  no  time  to  eat.  It  was  impossible  to  live  with 
her  and  not  get  a  taste  for  reading.  Books  were  like 
live  creatures  to  her ;  in  fact,  I  am  not  sure  that  she 
does  not  love  them  better  than  human  beings." 

"I  am  glad  she  has  infected  you  with  her  taste," 
said  Ted.  "  One  so  seldom  comes  across  a  girl  to 
whom  one  can  talk  about  the  books  or  subjects  that 
really  interest  one,  and  yet  I  have  often  thought  that 
it  should  be  instructive  to  get  at  the  feminine  point  of 
view.  But,  as  a  rule,  if  you  discuss  abstract  topics 
with  a  girl  you  run  the  risk  of  either  boring  or 
shocking  her." 

"  My  experience  is  that  men  will  seldom  condescend 
to  talk  to  girls  as  if  they  were  reasonable  beings,"  said 


THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA.  37 

Candida.  "You  and  I  must  set  the  rest  of  the  world 
a  better  example,  Ted.  Tell  me  about  your  latest 
craze." 

"  It's  not  for  remnants,"  he  answered  laughing. 
"  Rather  the  other  way.  I've  been  tending  towards 
socialism  lately.  Evolutionary  socialism  you  under- 
stand," he  added,  with  evident  pride  in  the  phrase. 

"My  mind  is  still  in  a  fluid  state  on  that  and  one 
or  two  other  subjects,"  said  Candida.  "  Of  course,  if 
I  only  studied  one  side  of  a  question,  after  the  most 
approved  feminine  fashion,  I  should  find  it  easy 
enough  to  crystallize  my  ideas.  But  I  must  hear  the 
evidence  on  both  sides  before  I  give  a  verdict." 

The  two  solemn  young  faces  drew  nearer  together, 
the  two  important  young  voices  joined  in  a  har- 
monious duet,  as  the  couple  exchanged  threadbare 
phrases,  and  threshed  out  the  empty  husks  of  questions 
that  had  vainly  vexed  the  minds  of  their  grandfathers. 
Aunt  Aggie,  coming  to  call  them  into  tea,  a  romantic 
interest  in  the  young  couple  already  stirring  her 
tender  heart,  was  chilled  and  disappointed  to  find 
them  exchanging  confidences  on  such  subjects  as 
land-tenure,  nationalization  of  property,  and  indus- 
trial co-operation. 


CHAPTER  IV. 

On  the  first  Sunday  after  Candida's  home-coming 
the  household  was  shaken  to  its  foundations  by  her 
announcement  that  she  was  not  going  to  church. 
"This,  then,"  cried  the  ladies  of  the  family,  "this  was 
what  came  of  educating  a  girl  like  a  boy,  allowing 
her  to  enter  a  profession,  and  bringing  her  up  in  ideas 
of  independence;  she  turns  out  a  free-thinker,  an 
infidel,  an  atheist." 

"  Milton  says,"  observed  Candida,  whose  conscious 
integrity  enabled  her  to  remain  calm  in  the  midst 
of  the  agitation,  "that  if  a  man  has  no  reason  for 
the  faith  that  is  in  him  beyond  the  fact  that  it  is 
taught  him  by  his  pastor  and  professed  by  his 
community,  th^  his  faith,  however  true,  is  for  him 
heresy.  In  that  sense  I  have  been  a  heretic  all  my 
life.  I  had  no  right  to  form  an  opinion  about  any 
religion  until  I  knew  the  arguments  that  could  be 
urged  against  as  well  as  for  it.  If  I  were  the  Creaton 
I  should  not  be  satisfied  with  a  worship  that  was 
founded  on  wilful  ignorance ;  I  should  regard  it  as  an 


THE    CAREER   OF   CANDIDA.  39 

insult  from  the  creatures  upon  whom  I  had  bestowed 
the  gift  of  reason." 

"But  what  will  the  vicar  think  ?"  cried  her  mother, 
as  though  that  were  a  far  more  important  matter. 
"  And  the  poor  people — such  a  shocking  example  for 
them." 

"  Would  you  have  me  play  a  dishonest  part  in 
order  that  the  poor  people  may  be  edified  ?  "  demanded 
Candida,  with  solemnity. 

"  I  can't  argue  about  it,"  said  her  mother,  almost  in 
tears.  "  I  only  know  that  it  is  very  wrong,  and — 
and  unwomanly." 

"If  only  you  would  have  a  little  talk  with  Mr. 
Oriel,"  put  in  Miss  Agnes,  timidly,  "  I  am  sure  he 
would  smooth  away  all  your  difficulties." 

"Come,"  said  Mr.  St.  John,  "it  is  time  for  us  to 
start.  Candida,  we  will  leave  you  to  prosecute  your 
search  for  truth.  There  is  a  very  complete  edition  of 
the  Fathers  in  the  library." 

"Thank  you,"  she  replied.  "At  present  I  am 
studying  the  argument  from  design.  I  shall  go  for  a 
walk  in  the  fields." 

"Don't  take  this  phase  too  seriously,"  said  the 
squire  to  his  wife  and  sister,  as  they  obeyed  the 
summons  of  the  bells.  "  It  was  bound  to  come 
sooner  or  later.  I  admit  that  our  dear  Candida 
is  a  bit  of  a  prig  at  the  present  moment  but  then  all 
properly  brought  up  boys  and  girls  are  prigs  at 
nineteen." 


40  THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA. 

"  It  is  not  only  her  refusal  to  attend  church  that 
troubles  me,"  said  Mrs.  St.  John  ;  "but  she  seems  to 
have  picked  up  such  queer  ideas  from  Mrs.  Festus. 
She  has  been  asking  the  poor  women  not  to  curtsey- 
to  her ;  she  says  she  can't  stand  being  bobbed  to  by 
her  elders  and  betters.  And  the  other  day,  when 
Jane  was  turning  out  her  room,  just  because  she 
fancied  the  girl  looked  pale  and  breathless,  she  sent 
her  to  lie  down  and  did  the  room  herself,  scrubbing 
the  floor  and  all.  And  she  made  me  write  to  the 
stores  for  some  very  expensive  iron  medicine  for 
Jane,  who,  she  says,  is  anaemic.  As  if  all  young 
servants  were  not  anaemic !  It  is  really  too  up- 
setting." 

Mr.  St.  John  laughed. 

"  I  believe  Candida  is  perfectly  right,"  he  said. 
"  Young  people  generally  are  right  theoretically,  only 
they  are  in  too  great  a  hurry  to  put  their  theories 
into  practice.  They  are  not  content  to  grind  slowly, 
though  they  are  anxious  to  grind  exceeding  small. 
We  elderly  people  are  only  useful  as  drags  upon  the 
wheels  of  their  splendid  energy.  If  it  were  not  for 
us  they  would  turn  the  world  upside  down  once  a 
week  and  scrub  it  all  over,  entirely  for  its  own  good." 

Meanwhile  Candida  had  unchained  the  dog,  and 
together  they  wandered  through  the  fields,  from 
which  the  last  load  of  hay  had  been  carried  only  the 
evening  before.  In  a  meadow  that  bounded  the 
Vicarage  glebe,  she  came  ypon  Ted  lying  on  his  back 


THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA.  4J 

beneath  the  shade  of  an  elm,  enjoying  his  morning 
pipe.  He  felt  a  slight  shock  of  disapproval  on  seeing 
Candida.  A  man  may  be  an  honest  doubter,  but  a 
woman!  Surely  she  should  cling  to  "her  early 
heaven,  hei-  happier  views." 

"  You  have  given  up  going  to  church,"  he  said,  as 
he  sprang  to  his  feet,  and  leaned  over  the  gate  by  her 
side. 

•'  For  the  present,"  she  replied.  "  I  am  an  in- 
quirer." 

"  Ah,"  said  Ted.  "  Men  mostly  pass  through  that 
phase  at  college.  Some  of  them  remain  in  it.  What 
have  you  been  bothering  your  head  with  ?  Kant, 
Schopenhauer,  Herbert  Spencer  ?  " 

"  No,"  she  confessed.  "  I  can  understand  a  plain 
fact  in  plain  English,  but  metaphysics  are  beyond  me. 
I  have  been  reading  history  chiefly,  and  some  physical 
science.  It  makes  one  feel  very  small  to  be  brought 
face  to  face  with  the  great  facts  of  the  universe.  I 
feel  sometimes  as  if  I  had  lost  a  father,  and  been 
turned  out  of  a  comfortable  home  to  wander  in  the 
desert.  Yet  the  air  of  the  desert  is  more  bracing 
than  that  of  the  home,  and  the  sense  of  space  brings 
a  sense  of  freedom." 

"  I  know,  I  know,"  cried  Ted,  to  whom  the  word 
"  universe  "  was  as  the  sound  of  the  trumpet  to  a 
war-horse.  "And  the  possibility  that  you  may  be 
alone,  uncared-for,  unregarded,  an  infinitesimal  insect 
clinging  for  a  few  moments  to  the  wheel  of  life,  makes 


42  THE   CAREER   OF  CANDIDA. 

you  feel  only  the  more  determined  to  play  your  little 
part  as  well  as  you  can,  and  look  facts  in  the  face 
without  whimpering." 

The  universe  is  always  a  fruitful,  fascinating  topic 
to  young  minds  ;  it  is  also  a  safe  one,  for  who  could 
wax  sentimental  over  such  subjects  as  time,  space, 
or  eternity  ?  The  pair  spent  their  Sunday  morning 
most  enjoy  ably  in  discussing  problems  that  have 
perplexed  the  world  since  our  ancestors  lost  their 
tails,  abandoned  their  arboreal  habits,  and  developed 
self-consciousness.  Whence  do  we  come }  whither 
are  we  going  ?  what  are  life,  death,  truth  ?  These, 
and  other  hoary-headed  questions  they  asked,  and, 
unlike  jesting  Pilate,  they  waited  for  a  reply. 
They  were  so  young,  they  lived  in  such  quickly 
moving  times,  that  any  morning  they  might  wake  to 
find  that  one  of  the  riddles  had  been  solved,  or  the 
veil  of  a  great  mystery  rent  in  twain. 

Ted  quite  forgot  his  disapproval  of  feminine  freedom 
of  thought  in  his  enjoyment  of  the  conversation.  He 
knew  very  well  what  other  young  men  of  his  own ' 
standing  said  and  thought  upon  most  of  these 
subjects,  but  to  discuss  them  with  a  woman  was 
quite  a  different  thing.  The  experience  was  piquant, 
instructive,  stimulating ;  there  were  unexpected 
variations,  digressions,  disagreements ;  at  any 
moment  a  gleam  of  light  might  be  flashed  upon 
a  dark  corner,  or  a  fresh  point  of  view  disclosed. 
It  was  a  great  pity,  he  reflected,  that  men  and  women 


THE    CAREER   OF   CANDIDA.  43 

could  not  always  be  comrades,  fellow-students  of 
nature,  co-seekers  after  truth.  Yet  it  is  to  be 
doubted  whether,  if  Candida's  figure  had  been 
'stumpy,  her  skin  sallow,  and  her  eyes  spectacled, 
Ted  would  have  found  the  conversation  so  supremely 
interesting.  It  is  more  than  probable  that  he  would 
have  preferred  his  solitary  pipe,  and  his  undis- 
turbed contemplation  of  the  sky  through  the  elm 
branches. 

The  following  day  Sabina  Romney  was  expected 
at  the  Hall,  where  she  had  been  invited  to  spend  the 
remainder  of  the  holidays. 

"  It  has  just  occurred  to  me  that  we  know  nothing 
about  your  friend  Sabina  except  that  she  is  pretty 
and  susceptible,"  observed  Mr.  St.  John  at  breakfast. 
"Enlighten  us,  Candida.  Has  she  any  skeletons 
whose  cupboards  we  must  be  careful  to  avoid  ?  Who 
is  she  when  she  is  not  at  the  Piccadilly  Theatre,  and 
what  are  her  people  ?  " 

**  I  don't  think  she  has  any  people,"  replied 
Candida.  "  Her  mother  is  dead,  and  she  never  had 
any  real  father." 

"  How  did  she  manage  that  ?  " 

"  Well,  her  father  was  one  of  those  people  who 
think  marriage  immoral,  and  he  converted  her  mother 
to  his  own  belief  in  the  virtuousness  of  a  free  union. 
They  lived  together  till  Sabina  was  about  five  years 
old,  and  then  Mr.  Romney  fell  in  love  with  another 
woman.     From  his  point  of  view,  it  then  became  sinful 


44  THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA. 

for  him  to  go  on  living  with  Mrs.  Romney,  but,  un- 
fortunately, he  could  not  afford  to  support  more 
than  one  wife  and  family.  He  offered  to  provide  for 
Sabina  if  her  mother  would  give  her  up,  but  of  course 
she  refused.  He  ended  by  marrying  the  other  woman, 
whom  he  could  not  convert  to  his  own  views,  and  wife 
number  one  slowly  did  herself  to  death  with  fine 
needlework.  When  Sabina  was  about  sixteen  she 
got  a  *  walk-on '  at  a  theatre,  and  she  has  supported 
herself  ever  since.  Her  mother  died  about  a  year 
ago,  and  then  she  came  to  live  with  Mrs.  Festus." 

"  A  very  instructive  little  story,"  remarked  Mr.  St. 
John.  "  Unfortunately  for  its  professors,  free  love 
is  a  very  expensive  custom." 

"Then  this  girl  has  no  right  to  her  name,  "said  Mrs. 
St.  John,  in  disapproving  tones.  "  I  don't  think  she 
is  at  all  a  nice  friend  for  you,  and  I  wonder  Mrs. 
Festus  took  her  into  her  house." 

"  It  was  her  father's  name,"  said  Candida.  "  And 
it  wasn't  her  fault  that  he  was  a  selfish  brute  and  her 
mother  a  weak  fool.  A  girl  can't  choose  her  own 
parents,  nor  settle  under  what  conditions  she  is  to 
come  into  the  world." 

When  Sabina  arrived,  it  became  clear  that  she 
would  very  soon  make  her  peace  with  offended 
propriety  in  the  person  of  Mrs.  St.  John.  She  was 
an  exceedingly  pretty  girl,  with  appealing  brown 
eyes,  a  rose-leaf  complexion,  softly  curling  hair,  and 
a  smile   of  the  most  enchanting  innocence.     Before 


THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA.  45 

the  end  of  the  first  evening  she  had  managed  to 
fascinate  the  whole  family.  She  described  the 
newest  fashions  with  a  lucidity  and  minuteness  to 
which  Candida  had  never  been  able  to  attain,  gave 
the  latest  particulars  of  the  most  thrilling  society 
scandal,  appealed  to  Mr.  St.  John  for  information  on 
every  subject  under  discussion  with  a  flattering  con- 
fidence in  the  infallibility  of  his  knowledge,  and 
listened  attentively  to  the  longest  of  his  mother's 
narratives  about  the  triumphs  of  her  youth. 

"  It's  a  pity  you  don't  try  and  catch  something  of 
your  friend's  manner,  Candida,"  said  the  old  lady, 
after  the  guest  had  retired  for  the  night.  "She 
reminds  me  of  what  the  girls  used  to  be  in  my  youth. 
If  you  would  only  smile  and  blush,  and  use  a  little 
more  gesture  while  you  are  talking,  it  would  add 
immensely  to  your  attractions.  You  are  not  suffi- 
ciently animated  for  a  young  woman  ;  your  face  and 
whole  bearing  are  too  impassive," 

"  I  am  very  sorry,"  said  Candida.  "  I  only  desire 
to  be  natural.  I  don't  think  the  kittenish  style 
would  sit  well  upon  me ;  I  am  too  big  and  heavy. 
But  Sabina  is  perfectly  charming,  as  you  say ;  men 
go  down  before  her  like  ninepins." 

That  night  Candida  was  awoke  out  of  her  first 
sleep  by  the  sound  of  mufiled  solpbing  in  the  adjoin- 
ing room,  which  was  occupied  by  her  friend.  The 
sobs  presently  increased  to  low  moans  and  half- 
stifled  cries,  which  seemed  to  be  wrung  from  a  soul 
4 


46  THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA. 

in  anguish.  It  was  impossible  to  listen  to  such 
heartrending  sounds  without  making  some  effort, 
at  least,  to  administer  consolation.  Candida  jumped 
out  of  bed,  lighted  a  candle,  tapped  at  the  door 
of  her  friend's  room,  and  receiving  no  answer, 
walked  in. 

Sabina  was  lying  on  her  face,  trying  to  stifle  her 
sobs  with  the  pillow,  over  which  her  beautiful  hair 
was  tossed  in  wild  confusion. 

"What's  the  matter  now?"  asked  Candida,  who 
was  not  wholly  unused  to  such  scenes.  "  You  seem 
pretty  bad." 

Sabina  turned  on  her  side,  and  looked  up  with 
streaming  eyes. 

"  I  can't  bear  it,"  she  gasped.  "  I'm  so  miserable 
I  don't  know  how  to  live.  I  believe  I'm  going  mad 
— stark  staring  mad." 

Her  face,  was  white  and  drawn,  and  her  eyes  looked 
unnaturally  large  and  dark. 

"This  is  all  about  some  man,  I  suppose,"  said 
Candida,  sitting  down  upon  the  end  of  the  bed. 
"Tell  me  as  much  as  you  like.  I  imagine  that  it 
does  you  good  to  talk  about  it." 

"He  doesn't  care  about  me,"  went  on  Sabina, 
writhing  like  one  in  acute  agony.  "  He  never  spoke 
a  word  to  me  last  night,  though  he  knew  that  we 
shouldn't  meet  again  for  weeks.  He  was  with  that 
creature  all  the  evening,  that  red-haired  cat,  that 
snub-nosed  demon.     It  is  she  who  has  come  between 


THE    CAREER    OF    CANDIDA.  47 

us.  I  wish  I  had  killed  her  before  his  eyes — I  can't 
think  why  I  didn't." 

"Because  you  were  too  sensible,  I  should  hope," 
said  Candida.  "  I  don't  think  you  can  be  very  well, 
Sabina.  You  are  nervous  and  out  of  sorts.  Now,  if 
you  would  only  work  at  my  polymachinon  for  half  an 
hour  after  your  bath  every  morning,  you  would  be 
a  different  creature  at  the  end  of  a  week." 

Sabina  broke  into  a  shrill  little  laugh. 

"You  are  too  funny  with  your  polly  what's  it's 
name,"  she  cried.  "  I  believe  you  are  nothing  but  a 
great  big  stuffed  doll.  What  do  you  know  about 
love  ?  Have  you  ever  been  in  love,  or  has  any  one 
ever  been  in  love  with  you  .''  " 

"No,  never,"  replied  Candida,  placidly.  "And 
when  I  look  at  you  I  can't  say  I  regret  it." 

"  Put  your  hand  there,  and  you  will  learn  some- 
thing," said  Sabina,  pointing  to  the  pillow  with  a 
tragic  gesture. 

Candida  laid  her  hand  on  the  pillow,  and  found 
that  it  was  soaking  wet. 

"  My  tears,"  explained  Sabina.  "  Do  you  propose 
to  dry  them  with  your  polytechnicon  ?  " 

"  No,  but  I  can  fetch  you  a  dry  pillow,"  replied 
her  friend.     "  There  are  two  in  my  room." 

She  exchanged  the  wet  pillow  for  a  dry  one,  restored 
the  tangled  bedclothes  to  something  like  order,  and 
tucked  up  the  love-lorn  maid,  who,  worn  out  with  grief 
and  excitement,  presently  fell  into  a  childlike  slumber. 


CHAPTER  V. 

The  next  morning  Sabina  awoke  in  the  best  of 
spirits,  and  sang  comic  songs  all  the  time  she  was 
making  her  toilet.  The  very  memory  of  the  past 
night  seemed  to  have  gone  from  her  as  completely  as 
a  bad  dream  from  one  who  is  fully  awake.  Candida 
looked  and  listened  in  astonishment,  scarcely  able  to 
believe  that  this  was  the  same  girl  who,  a  few  hours 
before,  had  been  weeping  tears  of  anguish. 

"  One  can't  go  on  being  miserable  about  a  man  one 
is  not  going  to  see  for  months,"  explained  Sabina, 
airily,  in  response  to  a  comment  from  Candida  upon 
her  changed  mood.  "  Besides,  when  I  think  about 
him  in  broad  daylight  he  doesn't  seem  worth  it  He 
is  beginning  to  get  fat,  and  he  so  often  has  a  cold  in 
his  head.  It  was  only  his  not  seeming  to  appreciate 
me  that  made  me  so  mad.  If  he  had  really  made 
love  to  me  I  should  have  loathed  him." 

The  visitor  threw  herself  heart  and  soul  into  the 
preparations  for  a  large  garden-party  which  was  to 
be  given  at  Branksmead  a  day  or  two  later.     Next  to 


THE  CAREER   OF   CANDIDA.  49 

Sabina,  the  person  who  was  the  most  excited  and 
interested  about  the  approaching  festivity  was  the 
dowager  Mrs.  St.  John,  who  apparently  looked 
forward  to  a  repetition  of  the  triumphs  of  her  youth. 
Her  best  Indian  shawl  was  taken  out  of  its  cedar- 
wood  drawer,  a  new  cap  had  been  ordered  from 
Bond  Street,  and  every  detail  of  her  toilette  had 
undergone  the  most  careful  and  minute  consideration. 
Meanwhile,  the  old  lady,  who  had  gradually  been 
failing,  mentally  and  physically,  during  the  past 
twelve  months,  was  stimulated  to  unusual  liveliness 
and  garrulity  by  the  society  of  such  a  kindred  spirit 
as  Sabina.  She  chattered  incessantly  of  the  gaieties 
that  had  taken  place  half  a  century  before,  mixed  up 
generations  and  epochs,  and  was  sometimes  so  carried 
away  by  the  interest  of  the  conversation  as  to  forget 
the  present  altogether,  alluding  quite  naturally  to  the 
lover  she  had  just  dismissed,  or  the  gown  she  meant 
to  wear  at  her  next  ball. 

Early  in  the  afternoon  of  the  important  day  she 
retired  to  her  room  to  begin  the  serious  business  of 
the  toilette.  A  few  minutes  later,  Martin,  her  middle- 
aged  attendant,  came  running  into  the  drawing-room, 
anxious-eyed  and  panting  for  breath. 

"Oh,  if  you  please,  ma'am,"  she  gasped,  "will 
some  one  come  to  mistress  at  once  ?  She's  turned  so 
strange,  I  can't  do  nothing  with  her." 

Candida  and  her  mother  hurried  upstairs  at  once. 
They  found  the  dowager  sitting  in  her  high-backed 


50  THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA. 

chair,  her  cap  off,  and  her  thick  white  hair  in 
picturesque  disorder. 

"  Martin,"  she  exclaimed,  her  dark  eyes  gleaming 
with  indignation,  "  how  often  am  I  to  tell  you  that 
I  mean  to  wear  my  new  white  crepe  bonnet  with  the 
rose-coloured  feathers  ?  Pray  take  away  that  hideous 
black  satin  erection,  which  looks  as  if  it  had  been 
made  for  my  grandmother,  and  get  out  my  white 
silk  slip  and  the  India  muslin  with  the  pink  sprig. 
And  my  hair,  you  stupid  girl,"  she  went  on,  putting 
up  her  hands  to  her  head.  "  I  can't  think  what  you 
have  done  to  my  hair.  It  is  all  flattened  down,  and 
you  seem  to  have  smoothed  my  ringlets  quite  away. 
I  shall  never  be  ready  in  time." 

Springing  to  her  feet  with  unwonted  agility,  she 
peeped  at  herself  in  the  glass.  In  an  instant  her 
expression  of  complacent  expectancy  changed,  first 
to  horrified  incredulity,  then  to  abject  despair. 
Dropping  back  into  her  chair,  she  put  her  hands 
before  her  face,  and  broke  into  a  fit  of  agonized 
weeping. 

"  I  am  old,  I  am  old,"  she  moaned.  "  Grey  and 
wrinkled  and  shrunken.  I  had  forgotten  for  the 
moment.  Everything  is  over  ;  there  is  nothing  left 
to  live  for.  Why  do  women  go  on  living  after  they 
have  lost  their  youth  ?  Nobody  cares  about  them  any 
more.  Why  aren't  we  put  out  of  our  misery  before 
we  get  to  this  ?     Shrunken  and  old  and  grey." 

Her  voice  died  away  into  a  feeble,  long-drawn  wail. 


THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA.  51 

Candida,  her  heart  pierced  by  the  sight  of  such  help- 
less sufifering,  threw  herself  on  her  knees  beside  the 
chair,  with  the  intention  of  administering  consolation. 

"  Dear  granny,"  she  began.  "  You  have  us, 
and " 

She  stopped  short  abruptly,  as  the  old  lady  turned 
upon  her  with  sudden  fury. 

"  Granny  !  "  she  cried.  "  I  know  why  you  call  me 
by  that  name  ;  you  do  it  to  insult  me,  and  remind  me 
that  you  are  young  and  I  am  old.  I  wish  you 
would  leave  me  alone.  I  don't  want  to  see  your 
insolent  pink  face  and  your  great  overgrown  figure. 
Why  can't  I  be  left  to  die  in  peace  ?  " 

Candida  retreated  in  dismay  at  the  same  moment 
that  Mr.  St.  John,  who  had  been  summoned  by  his 
wife,  entered  the  room. 

"  Why,  what  is  the  matter,  mother  ?  "  he  asked,  as 
he  bent  over  the  unhappy  old  woman.  "  You  will 
not  be  able  to  receive  any  of  your  admirers  to-day 
if  you  don't  compose  yourself.  Your  old  flame,  Sir 
Henry  Hammond,  is  coming  on  purpose  to  see  you. 
He  always  declares  that  you  are  the  most  beautiful 
woman  of  your  age  in  the  kingdom." 

"  Sir  Henry  Hammond  I  "  Mrs.  St.  John  sat  upright, 
and  instantly  composed  her  features,  though  the  tears 
still  glistened  in  the  furrows  of  her  cheeks.  "  Martin, 
my  tea-gown  and  the  Spanish  mantilla  for  my  head. 
I  cannot  appear  in  public  to-day,  but  I  will  see  Sir 
Henry  in  the  boudoir.     Some  eau  de  Cologne  and 


5a  THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA. 

water  for  my  eyes,  and  just  a  dust  of  powder.  Most 
women  would  use  rouge  in  the  circumstances,  but  I 
have  too  much  regard  for  my  complexion.  Roland, 
you  will  explain  to  Sir  Henry  that  I  have  had  an 
attack  of  nerves,  but  that  I  could  not  refuse  to  see 
such  an  old  friend.  Martin,  don't  forget  to  give  me 
my  fan  and  vinaigrette^' 

Mr.  St.  John  beckoned  to  his  wife  and  daughter  to 
follow  him  from  the  room. 

"  She  will  soon  be  quite  herself,"  he  said,  when 
they  were  outside.  "  She  is  tired,  and  has  been  over- 
excited. But  if  she  rests  for  the  next  hour  or  two,  it 
will  do  her  no  harm  to  see  Sir  Henry  for  a  few 
minutes." 

Candida  put  her  hand  through  his  arm,  and  leant 
against  his  shoulder.  She  had  been  strangely  moved 
and  shaken  by  the  painful  scene  she  had  just 
witnessed. 

"  Oh,  poor  granny,  poor  granny  !  "  she  murmured. 
"  Why  is  old  age  so  intolerable  and  degrading  to 
women,  when  it  might  be  so  beautiful  and  dig- 
nified ?  " 

"  Because  the  majority  of  women  are  brought 
up  as  if  they  were  gifted  with  eternal  youth,  and 
exempted  from  all  responsibility,"  he  replied.  "Most 
parents  act  as  if  they  imagined  that  Rousseau's  dictum, 
'A  woman  should  die  at  forty,'  were  carried  into 
effect.  They  allow  their  daughters  the  opportunity 
of  enjoying  themselves  in  the  sunshine  of  spring  and 


THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA.  53 

summer,    but   give    them    no   protection  against  the 
damp  of  autumn,  or  the  frost  and  snow  of  winter. 
Consequently  an  aged  woman  is  too  often  as  uncom- 
fortable an  anomaly  as  a  butterfly  in  December." 
«  •  «  »  «  • 

The  guests  had  all  arrived,  tennis  and  croquet 
were  in  full  swing,  and  Candida,  having  started  the 
games  for  the  young  people,  and  settled  the  dowagers 
in  comfortable  chairs,  was  standing  upon  the  terrace, 
talking  to  the  Bishop  of  Thorminster.  The  bishop, 
like  the  apostles  and  the  four  great  doctors  of  the 
Church  (according  to  ancient  heraldry),  was  a 
"  gentleman  of  blood  and  coat  armour,"  who  stood 
six  foot  two  in  his  gaiters,  and  possessed  shoulders 
that  caused  every  recruiting  sergeant  in  his  diocese 
to  break  the  tenth  commandment.  "Thor,"  as  he 
was  familiarly  called,  was  the  terror  of  clerical 
shirkers  and  absentees,  but  the  workers  adored  him, 
and  the  restive  spirits,  who  fretted  under  all  other 
ecclesiastical  restraint,  pulled  quietly  and  steadily 
when  his  hand  was  on  the  bridle. 

The  bishop  had  christened  Candida,  given  her 
rides  on  his  shoulder  in  her  childish  days,  and 
Confirmed  her  only  three  years  before.  He  had  been 
the  object  of  her  earliest  hero-worship,  and  she  still 
regarded  him  with  a  respectful  admiration  that  was 
mainly  due  to  his  thews  and  sinews. 

"  And  what  church  do  you  attend  in  London,  my 
dear  ?  "  asked  his  lordship,  at  length. 


54  THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA, 

Candida  hesitated.  The  question  was  not  alto- 
gether unexpected,  and  she  had  been  debating 
within  herself  whether  she  could  answer  it  without 
wounding  the  susceptibilities  of  a  distinguished 
guest.  The  bishop  had  always  been  regarded  by 
the  ladies  of  the  St.  John  household  as  a  kind  of 
superior  pope,  and  therefore  it  was  natural  that  she 
should  feel  a  tremor  at  the  thought  of  administering 
to  him  what  would  be,  figuratively  speaking,  a  slap  in 
the  face.  But  the  tremor  decided  her.  She  reminded 
herself  that  she  was  accepting  the  bishop's  kindness 
on  false  pretences,  and  that  that  was  the  conduct  of 
a  coward  and  a  hypocrite. 

"  I  have  not  attended  any  church  for  some  time," 
she  replied,  with  a  quiver  in  her  voice.  "  I  think  I 
ought  to  tell  you,  my  lord,  that  at  this  moment  I  am 
not  a  Christian." 

She  held  her  breath  like  one  who  has  just  fired  a 
train  of  gunpowder,  and  stared  anxiously  at  the 
bishop's  gaiters,  as  though  expecting  them  to  fly  into 
the  air  with  the  shock  of  her  communication.  But, 
to  her  surprise,  nothing  happened,  no  explosion  took 
place.  The  bishop  merely  inquired  with  a  bland 
smile — 

"May  I  be  permitted  to  ask  what  you  are — at  this 
moment  ?  " 

"  I  don't  think  I  am  anything,"  replied  Candida,- 
much  relieved  by  the  calmness  with  which  he  had 
received  her  confession.     "  I  suppose  if  I  wished  to 


THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA.  55 

label  myself  I  should  say  that  I  was  an  agnostic, 
because  I  feel  that  I  know  nothing  for  certain  except 
that  we  are  born  and  that  we  die." 

"  But  that  ignorance  is  common  to  us  all,"  said  bis 
lordship.  "  The  wisest  of  us  knows  nothing  for 
certain  beyond  those  two  well-attested  facts." 

Candida  stared  at  him  open-mouthed. 

"We  don't  say  'I  know'  in  the  Creeds  of  our 
Church,"  he  went  on.  "  We  say  '  I  believe,'  and  those 
words  in  themselves  are  a  confession  of  ignorance." 

"  But  dogmas "  stammered  Candida. 

"  Dogmas  are  the  drapery  of  faith,"  he  replied 
sententiously.  "  Sometimes  an  ornament,  sometimes 
a  protection,  more  often  an  impediment.  Dogmas 
are  continually  being  outgrown  and  discarded,  with- 
out the  slightest  injury  to  the  living  faith." 

The  bishop  politely  suppressed  a  yawn  ;  he  had 
not  come  to  a  garden-party  to  talk  theology.  His 
wandering  eye  caught  sight  of  Sabina,  the  centre  of 
a  little  group  of  admiring  youths.  Her  tinkling 
laughter  and  their  deeper  "  Haw  haws  "  struck  grate- 
fully upon  his  ear. 

"  Who  is  the  pretty  young  lady  in  the  pretty  hat  ?  " 
he  inquired.  "  A  friend  of  yours  ?  I  should  like  to 
make  her  acquaintance." 

Candida,  her  mind  still  in  a  whirl,  introduced  him 
to  Sabina,  and  then  walked  away,  feeling  a  little  flat. 
If  the  bishop  had  called  his  fellow-guests  around  him, 
denounced  her  to  them  as  an  infidel,  and  forthwith 


56  THE   CAREER    OF   CANDIDA. 

banished  her  from  the  assembly,  she  would  have 
regarded  it  as  a  perfectly  just  and  natural  proceeding. 
But  to  be  smiled  upon,  agreed  with,  and  then 
desertei  for  a  pretty  hat,  was  mortifying  to  a  degree. 
Martyrdom  might  not  be  a  pleasant  experience,  but 
at  least  the  martyr  was  an  important  personage. 

Mrs.  St.  John,  when  she  had  leisure  to  observe  the 
course  events  were  taking,  was  not  altogether  satisfied 
with  the  effect  produced  by  her  daughter.  While 
Sabina  was  the  centre  of  attraction,  and  always  sur- 
rounded by  obsequious  males,  Candida  was  more 
often  to  be  seen  among  the  dowagers,  or  talking  to 
some  middle-aged  fogey.  With  the  young  men, 
indeed,  she  seemed  on  frank  and  friendly  terms,  but 
they  did  not  pursue  and  surround  her,  follow  her 
with  their  eyes,  and  hang  upon  her  lips,  as  they  did 
with  Sabina.  The  mother  hinted  something  of  her 
disappointment  to  her  husband. 

"  I  was  just  congratulating  myself  upon  the  same 
thing,"  he  replied.  "  It  is  quite  refreshing  to  see  a 
girl  who  makes  no  difference  in  her  method  of  speak- 
ing to,  or  looking  at,  men  and  women.  Observe 
Candida's  composed  manner,  and  tranquil,  contented 
expression.  As  a  rule,  you  only  see  that  expression 
on  the  faces  of  women  who  are  happily  married,  and 
the  mothers  of  healthy  children.  Compare  her  with 
the  other  unmarried  women,  both  young  and  middle- 
aged  ;  note  their  anxious  mouths,  their  restless  eyes, 
their  exaggerated  smiles,  the  way  they  writhe  and 


THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA.  57 

wriggle  when  they  speak  to  a  man.  Poor  things, 
they  know  that  in  marriage  is  their  one  chance  of 
living,  their  only  means  of  justifying  their  existence. 
If  they  miss  that  chance  what  have  they  to  fall  back 
upon  but  district-visiting  and  the  mild  approval  of 
the  parochial  clergy  ?  All  their  eggs  are  in  one  basket, 
and  that  a  frail  one.  But  with  Candida  the  case  is 
different.  She  is  conscious  that  she  has  her  own 
work  in  life,  her  own  niche  in  the  world  ;  she  can 
associate  with  men  upon  terms  of  equality  because 
she  is  independent  of  them.  Should  marriage  come 
her  way,  she  will  welcome  it  as  one  of  the  good  gifts 
of  life,  but  she  will  not  clutch  at  it  like  a  drowning 
wretch  at  a  straw.  I  shall  be  glad  if  she  has  her 
youth  calm  and  unharassed,  free  from  intrigues,  en- 
tanglements, and  the  fever  of  sham  love-affairs.  When 
she  marries  she  will  bring  her  husband  a  sound  heart 
and  a  sound  mind  in  a  sound  body." 

"I  shouldn't  be  surprised  if  all  your  wonderful 
theories  were  to  end  in  our  seeing  her  an  old  maid," 
said  his  wife,  aggrievedly. 

"Well,  better  so  than  that  she  should  marry  the 
wrong  man  in  a  hurry.  But  I  don't  think  you  need 
alarm  yourself.  Candida  is  not  the  sort  of  woman 
whom  men  leave  to  wither  on  the  virgin  stalk." 


CHAPTER  VI. 

There  was  one  man  who  had  gradually  come  to  the 
conclusion- that  it  should  not  be  his  fault  if  Candida 
withered  on  the  virgin  stalk.  Ted  Ferrars  was  not  a 
youth  of  impulse ;  he  knew  that  it  would  be  two  or 
three  years  before  he  was  able  to  support  a  wife,  and 
at  present  his  work  satisfied  nearly  all  his  energies 
and  aspirations.  In  the  mental  vision  that  he  had 
formed  of  the  future,  however,  the  figure  of  his  old 
playfellow  already  occupied  an  important  place. 
Through  the  vista  of  the  years  he  fancied  that  he 
could  see  her  at  his  side,  a  brave  comrade  and  true 
wife,  understanding  his  thoughts,  sympathizing  with 
his  desires,  helping  him  in  his  difficulties,  comforting 
him  in  his  sorrows.  Such  was  his  notion  of  an  ideal 
helpmate,  and  of  this  Candida  seemed  to  him  the 
living  embodiment. 

Ted  had  made  a  good  start  in  his  profession,  and 
knew  that  he  was  already  regarded  as  a  promising 
young  man.  He  was  not  brilliant,  but  he  had  a 
prodigious  capacity  for  work,  a  memory  upon  which 


THE    CAREER   OF   CANDmA.  59 

he  could  place  absolute  reliance,  an  unlimited  amount 
of  dogged  determination,  and,  most  useful  of  all,  some 
influential  solicitor  relations.  In  two  or  three  years' 
time  he  thought  that,  with  average  luck,  he  would  be 
earning  an  income  which,  in  addition  to  the  allowance 
made  him  by  his  father,  would  justify  him  in  thinking 
of  marriage.  Meanwhile,  he  intended  to  keep  his  hopes 
to  himself,  and  refrain  from  pressing  his  suit  until  he 
had  something  tangible  to  offer.  It  will  be  seen  that 
there  was  not  much  evidence  of  passion  about  these 
deliberations,  nothing  better  than  ordinary  common 
sense  and  manly  consideration  for  the  woman  whom 
he  hoped  to  make  his  wife.  In  laying  its  plans,  how- 
ever, the  one  thing  which  youth  reckons  without  is  its 
own  temperament. 

The  holidays  were  rapidly  drawing  to  a  close. 
Sabina  had  already  left  Branksmead  to  pay  other 
visits,  and  only  about  ten  days  remained  before 
Candida's  return  to  town.  Ted,  coming  up  to  dine 
at  the  Hall  one  night  about  this  time,  found  the  dis- 
tinguished gymnast  stretched  upon  the  sofa,  with  her 
mother  and  aunt  hovering  compassionately  around  her. 
In  response  to  his  anxious  inquiries,  the  dowager, 
who  had  temporarily  recovered  her  clearness  of  mind, 
replied  with  gentle  sarcasm — 

"  Oh,  it's  nothing  serious  ;  Candida  has  merely  been 
fighting  a  brewer's  drayman." 

"  That  is  rather  a  picturesque  way  of  describing  my 
little  adventure,"  put  in  Candida.     "  You  shall  hear 


6o  THE  CAREER   OF   CANDIDA. 

my  version  of  the  story,  Ted.  I  saw  a  man  brutally 
flogging  a  horse  which  was  trying  to  get  a  heavy  load 
of  barrels  up  Cawston  Hill.  He  was  hitting  it  about 
the  head  and  legs  with  an  ash  stick.  You  know  I 
never  can  bear  to  see  a  horse  ill-treated,  so  I  politely 
requested  him  to  leave  off,  and  suggested  that  he  and 
I  should  each  put  a  shoulder  to  the  wheel.  Of  course, 
he  swore  at  me  in  reply,  and  began  to  beat  the  horse 
more  cruelly  than  before.  So  I  twisted  his  stick  out 
of  his  hand,  and  said  if  he  didn't  do  as  I  told  him,  I 
would  treat  him  as  he  treated  his  beast.  He  looked 
as  if  he  longed  to  knock  me  down  and  jump  upon 
me,  but  he  was  smaller  than  I  and  in  shocking  con- 
dition, so  he  thought  better  of  it,  and  slunk  behind 
the  cart.  Then  we  both  pushed  at  the  wheels,  and 
with  the  assistance  of  the  horse  we  managed  to  get 
the  load  up  the  hill.  Finally,  I  gave  him  some  good 
advice  and  a  shilling  for  his  stick,  and  we  parted  on 
the  best  of  terms.  I'm  glad  he  didn't  show  fight," 
she  added  thoughtfully;  "  because  he  looked  so  red 
and  soft  and  shiny.  If  I  had  hit  him  hard  any- 
where, I  believe  he  would  have  swelled  up  and 
died." 

"  I  wish  I  had  been  there,"  said  Ted,  not  over 
pleased  at  the  anecdote.  "But  how  did  you  manage 
to  get  hurt.?" 

"  I  suppose  I  did  rather  more  than  my  share  of  the 
pushing,  for  I  have  strained  my  knee  a  little.  Mother 
insisted  on  having  Dr.  Rose,  and  he  says  I  must  keep 


THE    CAREER    OF    CANDIDA.  6i 

quiet  for  the  next  few  days,  or  I  shan't  be  fit  to  go 
back  to  work." 

"  I'm  most  awfully  sorry,"  said  Ted,  quite  incapable 
of  expressing  all  the  agitation  that  filled  his  breast  at 
the  sight  of  his  deity  prostrate  and  probably  in  pain. 

"  I  wish  there  was  anything  I  could  do  for  you." 

"  You  might  give  me  your  arm,"  said  Candida.  "  I 
think  I  could  hop  out  on  to  the  terrace,  and  lie  on  the 
lounge  chair.  It  seems  such  a  waste  to  spend  the 
whole  evening  indoors." 

A  vehement  protest  from  her  mother  and  aunt 
brought  a  worried  look  into  the  girl's  face,  which 
Ted,  his  faculties  sharpened  by  sympathy,  instantly 
perceived. 

"  I  think,  if  Mr.  St.  John  and  I  were  to  make  a 
'chair'  with  our  crossed  hands,  we  could  carry  Can- 
dida on  to  the  terrace  without  jolting  her,"  he  said. 

Mr.  St.  John  agreed,  and  the  feat  was  safely 
accomplished,  in  spite  of  Candida's  fears  that  her 
weight  would  break  their  wrists.  When  the  invalid 
was  comfortably  established  in  a  chaise  longue,  Ted 
seated  himself  on  the  terrace  wall  by  her  side.  His 
heart  was  beating  loudly,  and  his  breath  came  more 
quickly  than  usual,  though  not  in  consequence  of  the 
physical  efforts  he  had  just  made.  A  tendril  of  his 
lady's  hair  had  blown  against  his  forehead  in  the 
transit,  and  sent  the  blood  rushing  to  his  brain,  while 
the  light  touch  of  the  hand  that  had  rested  upon  his 
shoulder  felt  as  though  it  were  branded  into  his  flesh. 


62  THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA. 

"  Isn't  this  unfortunate  for  me  ? "  demanded  Can- 
dida, who,  it  must  be  owned,  made  a  very  bad  patient, 
having  had  little  or  no  training  in  the  art  of  illness. 
"  I  dare  say  I  shall  be  laid  on  the  shelf  for  the  rest  of 
my  holiday,  I  who  never  have  anything  the  matter 
with  me.  Doesn't  it  make  one  feel  humiliated  and 
degraded  to  be  ailing  or  helpless  ?  I  suppose  I'm 
very  ungrateful,  but  it  irritates  me  dreadfully  to  be 
asked  incessantly  how  I  feel,  and  whether  I  am  in 
pain,  and  implored  to  take  more  care  of  myself.  You 
don't  mind  my  grumbling  to  you,  do  you,  Ted? 
That  is  one  of  the  privileges  of  friendship." 

She  smiled  at  him  as  she  spoke,  but  he  noticed 
that  her  cheeks  were  pale,  and  that  there  was  a  little 
crease  of  pain  'between  her  eyebrows.  He  had  never 
before  seen  her  wear  so  soft,  so  appealing,  so  feminine 
an  air.  All  the  chivalry  in  his  nature  rose  to  the 
surface,  and  his  heart  went  out  to  her  in  yearning  and 
tenderness.  He  longed  to  take  her  in  his  arms,  and 
carry  her  safely  through  all  the  perilous  paths  of  life. 
He  wished  that  there  were  still  dragons  and  giants 
on  the  earth  that  he  might  ride  forth  and  slay  them 
in  the  name  of  his  love.  He  could  almost  have 
desired  that  she  were  beset  by  some  great  danger,  in 
order  that  he  might  rescue  her  at  the  risk  of  his  own 
life.  For  the  first  time  his  feeling  for  her  was  fired  by 
the  touch  of  passion,  and  all  considerations  of  prudence 
and  worldly  wisdom  were  soon  to  be  consumed  in  its 
flame.     He   could    no   longer   keep   silence,   he   felt 


THE    CAREER    OF   CANDIDA.  63 

irresistibly  impelled  to  unburden  his  heart,  even 
though  by  so  doing  he  might  put  to  an  end  to  his 
hopes  for  ever. 

"Always  tell  me  everything,"  he  cried — "all  that 
you  are  thinking  and  feeling,  all  that  causes  you 
grief  or  pleasure.  Oh,  Candida — dearest !  " — here  a 
mighty  sigh  broke  from  the  very  depths  of  his  heart — 
"  I  wish — I  wish  you  would  let  me  take  care  of  you  in 
future,  work  for  you,  live  for  you,  devote  my  whole 
life  to  your  happiness.  I  ask  nothing  better  of  fate, 
because — because  I  love  you." 

The  secret  was  out  now,  and  he  stopped  abruptly, 
alarmed  at  his  own  temerity.  Candida,  sitting  bolt 
upright,  turned  upon  him  a  pair  of  startled  eyes. 

"  What  are  you  talking  about  ?  "  she  cried,  scarcely 
knowing  whether  to  take  his  words  seriously.  "  You 
are  very  obliging,  but  you  know  that  I  am  perfectly 
well  able  to  take  care  of  myself,  this  little  accident 
notwithstanding,  and  that  I  require  no  one  to  work 
for  me.  What  can  have  put  this  idea  into  your 
head  all  of  a  sudden  ?  " 

"  It's  not  sudden,"  he  replied,  a  little  sobered  by 
her  tone.  "  I  have  been  thinking  of  it  all  the  summer, 
but  I  had  not  intended  to  say  anything  about  it  for 
years,  not  until  I  could  offer  you  a  home.  But  some- 
how this  evening,  when  I  saw  you  pale  and  suffering, 
when  I  felt  you  resting  on  my  arms,  I  could  not  keep 
it  to  myself  any  longer  ;  I  was  obliged  to  speak  out 
all  that  was  in  my  heart.     Don't  be  angry  with  me. 


64  THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA. 

It  would  be  such  happiness  only  to  know  that  you 
cared  for  me  a  little,  that  you  might  some  day  care 
for  me  more.  The  thought  of  you  would  make  me 
work  like  a  nigger,  and  I  am  sure  that  in  two  years, 
three  at  the  outside,  I  could — we  might " 

"  Oh,  don't  talk  like  that,"  interrupted  Candida,  im- 
patiently. "  Of  course,  we  ought  neither  of  us  to  think 
of  marriage  for  half  a  dozen  years  to  come,  and  then 
we  shall  probably  each  have  a  different  person  in  view. 
Remember,  I  have  a  profession  as  well  as  you,  Ted  ; 
we  are  both  at  the  beginning  of  a  career,  with  one 
foot  on  the  first  rung  of  the  ladder.  You  have  made 
a  good  start,  and  I  have  excellent  prospects.  You 
know  I  told  you  that  I  had  been  studying  the  German 
and  Swedish  systems,  and  meant  to  try  and  introduce 
some  new  features  at  the  Bloomsbury,  which  would 
probably  make  my  name  known  in  the  profession. 
You  ought  to  be  able  to  sympathize  with  me,  because 
you  are  very  ambitious,  and  most  enthusiastic  about 
your  own  profession.  How  would  you  like  to  be 
asked  to  give  it  up  almost  at  the  outset  ? " 

"  The  cases  are  not  analogous,"  he  replied.  "  I  am 
a  man,  and " 

"  And  I  am  a  woman,"  put  in  Candida.  "  That  is 
to  say,  we  are  both  human  beings,  both  have  hearts 
and  minds,  both  are  made  of  flesh  and  blood." 

"  Well,"  said  Ted,  "  I  suppose  marriage  is  a  pro- 
fession as  well  as  gymnastics,  and  the  more  natural 
for    a  woman.     However,    I    won't   bother  you  any 


THE   CAREER   OF  CANDIDA,  65 

more  now.  I  am  an  obstinate  sort  of  fellow,  and  I 
don't  mean  to  let  one  rebuff  frighten  me.  I  shall 
bide  my  time,  and  hope  for  better  luck  a  year  or 
two  hence,  when  habit  may  have  quenched  your  rage 
for  work." 

"  That's  a  good,  sensible  boy,"  she  said,  with  a  sigh 
of  relief.  "  Six  or  seven  years  hence,  if  you  are  still 
in  the  same  mind,  and  we  are  both  of  us  free,  you 
may  ask  me  again  ;  but  don't  make  too  sure  of  my 
answer." 

"  And  you  won't  let  this  make  any  difference  to 
our  present  friendship  ?  " 

"  Oh  no,  you  can  come  and  see  us  sometimes  on 
Sundays  when  we  are  settled  in  town.  We  shall 
have  interesting  visitors,  I  hope,  because  we  don't 
mean  to  confine  ourselves  to  one  circle  of  acquaintance. 
Sabina  will  have  her  theatrical  friends,  and  I  shall 
invite  a  little  dressmaker  I  know,  who  is  a  sort  of 
obscure  heroine,  and  a  very  original  Scotch  cobbler, 
who  will  like  to  talk  socialism  with  you.  And  I 
hope  a  commissionaire  who  has  a  post  in  our  neigh- 
bourhood will  sometimes  be  able  to  come  and  see 
us.  He  is  an  old  soldier,  and  was  all  through  the 
Zulu  war." 

Ted  looked  dubious.  His  socialistic  theories  were 
genuine  enough  as  regarded  himself,  but  he  was  not 
prepared  to  apply  them  to  the  woman  he  loved. 

"  You  two  will  want  somebody  to  look  after  you 
if  you    are   going   in    for   such    mixed   society,"  he 


66  THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA. 

said.     "  You  had  better  engage  me  to  act  as  chucker- 

out." 

«  *  »  •  • 

Ten  days  later,  Candida  was  once  more  upon  her 
feet,  and  able  to  go  back  to  her  work  at  the  appointed 
time.  She  was  not  allowed  to  enter  upon  an  inde- 
pendent life  without  many  warnings  and  much  good 
advice  from  the  various  members  of  her  family.  Her 
grandmother  recommended  her  always  to  wash  her 
face  in  soft  water,  and  presented  her  with  a  recipe  for 
a  complexion-lotion  which,  tradition  said,  had  been 
used  by  the  beautiful  Miss  Gunnings.  Her  aunt 
gave  her  a  little  book  called  "  Continual  Droppings," 
which  contained  meditations  for  every  morning  and 
evening  in  the  year,  and  adjured  her  to  read  it 
diligently,  that  in  time  her  spiritual  stoniness  might 
be  worn  away.  Mrs.  St  John  lectured  eloquently 
upon  the  dangers  of  wet  feet  and  the  duties  of  eating 
sufficient  meat ;  but  it  was  her  father's  parting  words 
that  impressed  themselves  most  vividly  upon  Candida's 
mind,  for  the  reason  that  they  caused  her  some  little 
surprise  and  distress. 

"  You  are  very  young  to  be  starting  upon  an  inde- 
pendent career,  my  child,"  he  began.  "  Still,  the 
world  presents  fewer  perils  and  temptations  to  a 
young  woman  than  to  a  young  man,  if  only  because 
she  is  gifted  with  a  colder  temperament,  and  has 
acquired  an  abnormal  power  of  self-restraint,  the 
result  of  centuries  of  repression  of  all  natural  ideas, 


THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA.  67 

feelings,  and  instincts  on  the  part  of  her  sex.  I  have 
every  faith  in  your  good  sense  and  right  judgment, 
but  I  should  like  to  give  you  a  word  of  warning 
against  your  friend." 

"  Against  Sabina ! "  said  Candida,  opening  her 
eyes.     "Why,  I  thought  you  liked  her  so  much." 

"  She  is  a  most  lovely  and  delightful  young  lady," 
he  replied.  "  And  her  mere  proximity  is  enough  to 
make  an  old  man  feel  young  again.  But  she  is  essen- 
tially a  creature  of  emotion.  She  will  always  be 
swayed,  guided,  inspired  by  impulse  ;  neither  principles 
nor  moral  codes  exist  for  her.  She  combines  all  the 
acquired  weakness  of  a  woman  with  much  cf  the 
natural  fire  of  a  man.  It  is  women  such  as  she  who 
change  the  fate  of  nations,  and  set  kingdoms  in  a 
blaze.  Wise  men  run  mad  for  them,  and  princes  lay 
crowns  and  sceptres  at  their  feet." 

"  But  how  does  all  that  affect  me  ? "  asked  his 
daughter.  "I  know  that  Sabina  is  fascinating,  and  I 
admit  that  she  may  sometimes  be  foolish,  but  neither 
her  fascination  nor  her  folly  can  harm  me." 

"  I  see,"  said  Mr.  St.  John,  "  that  when  we  try  to 
graft  foreign  qualities  upon  a  character,  we  run  the 
risk  of  losing  indigenous  ones.  Your  training  has 
freed  you  from  many  of  the  weaknesses  that  are 
supposed  to  be  natural  to  the  feminine  temperament, 
but  at  the  same  time  you  appear  to  be  lacking  in 
certain  of  the  gifts  that  have  always  stood  woman  in 
good  stead.     You  have  lost  the  intuitive  knowledge 


68  THE  CAREER   OF  CANDIDA. 

of  your  own  sex,  a  loss  for  which  only  long  and 
varied  experience  can  ever  compensate  you.  You 
are  attracted,  and  will  probably  be  deceived  by 
exactly  the  same  kind  of  girl  who  would  attract 
and  deceive  a  man.  You  believe  in  your  friend 
upon  the  same  grounds  that  a  man  believes  in  his 
sweetheart,  namely,  because  she  is  pretty  and 
amiable.  No  doubt  Miss  Romney  is  attached  to  you? 
and  she  will  probably  be  true  to  you  as  long  as  her 
emotions  are  not  brought  into  play.  If  ever  a  man 
comes  between  you,  beware  of  your  pretty  Sabina." 

"  I  am  quite  willing  to  take  the  risk,"  laughed 
Candida.  "  Sabina  is  welcome  to  all  the  lovers.  I 
have  other  things  to  think  about" 


CHAPTER  VII. 

It  was  on  a  misty  October  afternoon  that  the  two 
friends  settled  down  into  their  new  home,  three  little 
rooms  in  Blake  Street,  one  of  the  dingiest  thorough- 
fares in  Bloomsbury. 

**  I  do  like  living  in  lodgings,"  said  Sabina,  as  she 
flitted  about,  filling  vases  and  jugs  with  flowers  that 
had  been  brought  from  Branksmead.  "It  always 
reminds  me  of  holidays  at  the  seaside.  As  long  as 
we  are  indoors  there  is  nothing  to  show  that  we  are 
not  at  Brighton.  And  the  best  of  having  only  one 
sitting-room,"  she  added,  "is  that  one  can  always 
keep  a  plum-cake  in  the  cupboard." 

"I  think  the  room  will  look  rather  pretty  when 
the  pictures  are  up,"  said  Candida.  "  Ted  is  coming 
to-morrow  to  help  us  to  hang  them." 

She  spoke  without  a  trace  of  self-consciousness ; 
indeed,  she  felt  none,  for  Ted  had  returned  to  his 
former  friendly  attitude,  and  she  had  succeeded  in 
putting  his  premature  declaration  out  of  her  mind. 

"To  think  that  I  really  begin  work  on  my  own 
account  on  Monday  I "  she  said  with  a  radiant  face,  as 


70  THE    CAREER   OF    CANDIDA. 

they  sat  at  tea.  "  Only  two  days  more,  and  I  shall 
actually  be  '  spinning  my  own  free  hours/  a  burden 
upon  no  man." 

"  You'll  sing  a  different  tune  after  twelve  months  of 
it,"  said  Sabina.  "  I  was  thanking  the  fates  that  the 
theatre  doesn't  open  for  another  fortnight.  I  feel 
sometimes  like  the  maid-of-all-work  in  the  epitaph  ;  I 
long  to  *  do  nothing  for  ever  and  ever.' " 

"  That  is  because  you  have  no  real  taste  for  your 
profession,"  said  Candida.  "  You  were  forced  into  it 
through  circumstances.  But  I  wonder,  feeling  as  you 
do,  that  you  don't  marry.  I  am  sure  you  have  plenty 
of  opportunity." 

"Perhaps  I  would  if  I  could  find  a  man  to  love 
me,"  answered  Sabina,  with  unusual  earnestness. 
"  Oh,  I  know  I've  plenty  of  lovers,  but  not  one  of 
them  cares  for  me — my  'own  self — the  real  Sabina  ; 
they  are  only  in  love  with  my  looks.  You  don't 
know  how  sick  I  get  of  being  told  I'm  pretty.  There 
comes  a  time  in  my  acquaintance  with  nearly  every 
man  when  he  thinks  proper  to  inform  me  of  that  fact 
as  if  it  were  quite  a  new  discovery.  He  seems  to 
imagine  that  I  shall  be  so  overwhelmed  with  gratitude 
at  the  announcement,  that  I  shall  instantly  lose  my 
heart  to  him  in  return.  I  suppose  they  all  take  it 
for  granted  that  I  have  a  pretty  little  soul  to  match 
my  pretty  little  body.  There  is  not  one  who 
wouldn't  turn  from  me  if  I  had  the  small-pox,  or 
had  been  guilty  of  theft  or  murder." 


THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA.  71 

"Well,  you  could  hardly  expect  a  man  to  love  a 
criminal,"  said  Candida, 

"Why  not?  A  woman  can.  If  I  loved  a  man  I 
shouldn't  care  if  he  had  robbed  a  church,  or  killed  his 
own  brother.  But  the  vilest  man  in  creation  always 
expects  to  have  an  immaculate  woman  for  his  wife." 

The  time  that  followed  was  a  period  of  hard  work 
and  rigid  economy  for  our  heroine  ;  yet,  in  later  days, 
as  her  father  had  prophesied,  she  looked  back  upon 
those  strenuous  months  as  among  the  happiest  of  her 
life.  She  was  young,  strong,  unharassed  by  heart- 
burnings of  whatsoever  kind,  enjoyed  her  work,  and 
was  proud  of  her  position  as  a  unit  in  the  universal 
army  of  labour.  Lack  of  time  and  lack  of  money, 
rather  than  lack  of  inclination,  prevented  her  from 
going  into  society,  apart  from  occasional  tea  or 
supper-parties  at  the  houses  of  hard-working  women 
like  herself  On  Sunday  afternoons  the  little  sitting- 
room  in  Graham  Street  was  chiefly  filled  with 
Sabina's  friends,  though  Ted  Ferrars  was  a  pretty 
constant  visitor.  Candida's  plan  of  mixing  the 
classes  and  the  masses  had  proved  a  decided  failure, 
not  on  account  of  the  haughtiness  of  the  classes,  but 
by  reason  of  the  bashfulness  of  the  masses.  On  the 
only  occasion  when  the  two  sections  of  society  fairly 
met,  the  representatives  of  the  classes  had  so  lionized, 
patronized,  pestered  and  petted  the  representatives 
of  the  masses,  that  the  latter,  bewildered  and  ashamed, 
had  fled  on  the  earliest  opportunity,  and  obstinately 


72  THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA. 

refused  to  repeat  the  experiment.  Candida,  however, 
was  a  welcome  guest  in  the  houses  of  several  of  her 
poorer  neighbours,  being,  as  one  of  them  informed  her, 
*'a  nice,  homely  sort  of  young  woman,  who  never 
poked  her  nose  into  things  as  didn't  concern  her,  nor 
gave  her  opinion  afore  it  was  asked."  Help  she 
could  only  give  to  her  less  prosperous  sisters  in  kind, 
teaching  musical  drill  on  one  evening  in  the  week  at 
an  institute  for  working  girls. 

During  those  first  few  months  of  independence, 
although  her  number  of  private  pupils  gradually 
increased,  Candida  found  it  a  pretty  hard  task  to 
make  both  ends  meet.  Nearly  the  whole  of  her 
earnings  were  swallowed  up  in  the  expenses  of  board 
and  lodging,  omnibus  fares,  and  other  small  necessaries, 
leaving  an  almost  imperceptible  margin  for  dress  or 
pocket-money.  Boots  had  to  be  patched,  gloves 
worn  shiny,  and  all  metms  plaisirs  rigorously  foregone. 
Almost  her  only  recreation  consisted  of  an  occasional 
visit  to  concerts  or  theatres  with  orders  which 
were  as  plentiful  as  blackberries  in  Sabina's  circle 
of  acquaintance. 

In  her  profession  Candida  was  modestly  conscious 
of  being  a  success.  Her  pupils  bestowed  upon  her  a 
good  measure  of  heroine-worship,  that  frankest  and 
most  unalloyed  of  youthful  emotions.  They  laughed 
it  is  true,  at  the  severe  felt  hat  and  shabby  serge  coat 
and  skirt  which  constituted  her  invariable  outdoor 
attire;  but  they  raved  about  her  figure  and  her  hair, 


THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA.  73 

and  agreed  that  whatever  she  wore  she  looked  "  per- 
fectly splendid."  The  secret  of  her  success  was 
probably  due  to  the  enthusiasm  that  she  felt  for  her 
work,  as  well  as  to  her  earnest  belief  in  its  usefulness 
as  a  factor  in  the  progress  of  her  own  sex,  and 
through  it  of  the  whole  race.  Nothing  gave  her  more 
gratification  than  to  see  the  girls  who  came  to  the 
gymnasium  in  the  giggling,  hysterical,  anaemic  stage, 
transformed  under  her  eyes  into  strong,  healthy 
women,  firm  of  muscle,  steady  of  nerve,  and  supple 
of  form. 

The  two  friends  lived  amicably  together,  the  more 
so,  perhaps,  for  seeing  very  little  of  each  other,  even 
their  meals  being  for  the  most  part  at  different  hours. 
Only  one  dispute  disturbed  their  peace  in  the  course 
of  the  winter,  and  in  that  Candida  admitted  that  she 
was  to  blame.  Coming  home  late  one  bitter  night 
from  the  Working  Girls'  Institute,  she  perceived  what 
looked  like  a  heap  of  clothes  huddled  up  on  the 
doorstep.  Bending  down,  she  found  that  the  heap 
was  a  woman,  whose  face  was  turned  away  from  the 
lamplight. 

"I'm  afraid  you  are  ill,"  said  Candida,  gently. 
"  Can  I  do  anything  for  you  ?" 

The  woman  turned  round  sharply,  and  instantly 
assumed  a  defensive  attitude. 

"  I'm  not  doing  any  harm,"  she  said  hoarsely.  "  I 
only  sat  down  a  minute  to  get  my  breath.  I  went 
kind  of  dizzy,  but  I  ain't  drunk ;    you'd  smell   my 


74  THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA. 

breath  if  I  was.  You've  no  call  to  tell  me  to  move 
on." 

A  violent  fit  of  coughing  interrupted  her  speech, 
and  she  rocked  herself  to  and  fro,  gasping  for  breath, 
while  the  handkerchief  which  she  held  to  her  lips  was 
spotted  with  blood. 

"  You  poor  thing ! "  said  Candida,  shocked  at  the 
woman's  evident  expectation  of  rough  usage.  "  I'm 
only  anxious  to  help  you.  You  will  kill  yourself  if 
you  sit  out  here  in  the  cold  with  that  dreadful  cough. 
If  you  will  come  in  with  me  you  can  rest  and  warm 
yourself  by  the  fire,  and  afterwards  you  will  feel 
better  able  to  walk  home." 

"  Are  you  one  of  them  good  lydies  what  gets  hold 
of  people  and  tries  to  keep  them  in  ? "  asked  the 
woman. 

•'  No,  I  am  not  at  all  good,  and  lam  only  a  work- 
ing girl.  If  you  will  make  use  of  my  room  till  you 
feel  better,  you  will  be  perfectly  free  to  go  your  way." 

"  Do  you  know  what  sort  of  a  woman  I  am  ?  "  asked 
the  other,  suspiciously. 

"  Yes,"  answered  Candida,  promptly.  "  I  know 
that  you  are  a  sick  woman,  and  that  if  you  sit  out 
here  much  longer  you  are  likely  to  be  a  dead  woman. 
Will  you  let  me  help  you  upstairs,  and  give  you 
some  supper  ? " 

She  raised  the  panting  creature  in  her  strong  arms, 
half  carried  her  up  the  stairs,  and  established  her  on 
the  sofa  near  the  fire.     Then  she  warmed  up  some 


THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA.  75 

soup,  and  brought  a  cup  to  her  visitor,  who  drank  it 
eagerly. 

"  That's  real  good  stuff,"  she  said  with  a  sigh. 
"  I've  had  nothing  all  day  but  a  crust  of  bread  and 
a  pennyworth  of  '  thick.'  " 

Candida  brought  her  a  plate  of  cold  beef  next,  but 
the  woman  tried  in  vain  to  choke  down  a  mouthful 
of  meat. 

"  It's  no  good,"  she  said  ;  "  my  teeth  are  bad,  and 
my  stomach's  weak.  I  ain't  used  to  solid  food,  but  I 
could  do  with  another  cup  of  that  soup." 

Candida  warmed  up  the  remainder  of  the  soup, 
and  then  brought  out  a  bottle  of  port  wine  which  had 
been  bought  on  account  of  a  sore  throat  of  Sabina's. 
The  warmth  of  the  room,  the  food,  and  a  glass  of 
wine  put  the  visitor  into  a  state  of  drowsiness  from 
which  she  had  just  passed  into  an  uneasy  slumber 
when  Sabina  returned  from  the  theatre  very  cold  and 
a  little  cross. 

"  Who  on  earth  have  you  got  there  ? "  she  asked, 
gazing  at  the  figure  with  such  manifestly  disapproving 
eyes  that  Candida  began  to  feel  suddenly  uncom- 
fortable. 

"  It's  a  poor  sick  woman  whom  I  found  on  the 
doorstep,"  she  explained.  "  And  I  brought  her  in  for 
a  little  food  and  warmth." 

"  Good  heavens !  "  cried  Sabina,  "  have  you  taken 
leave  of  your  senses }  She  was  probably  drunk. 
And  how  do  you  know  she  is  respectable  ?  " 


76  THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA. 

"  She  is  quite  sober,"  answered  Candida.  "  I  can't 
answer  for  her  respectability,  but  she  certainly  has 
bronchitis." 

"You've  finished  the  soup  between  you,  I  see,  and 
I  do  believe  you've  been  giving  her  some  of  my 
port  wine.  She  may  be  sober,  but  no  respectable 
woman  would  be  silting  on  doorsteps  at  this  time  of 
night." 

^^ Bother  respectability!"  cried  Candida,  who  had  a 
deep-mouthed  way  of  pronouncing  the  harmless 
expletive  that  made  it  almost  as  effective  as  an  oath. 
"  Have  you  got  no  feelings  of  humanity  ?  Can't  you 
realize  that  she  is  a  woman  like  ourselves,  made  of 
the  same  flesh  and  blood,  with  the  same  capacity  for 
suffering,  the  same  need  of  kindness  and  sympathy  ? 
Do  you  grudge  her  the  little  we  can  give  her,  just 
because  she  is  ill  and  in  distress  ?  You  don't  grudge 
your  hospitality  to  people  who  fare  sumptuously 
every  day." 

"Oh  well,  you  needn't  excite  yourself,"  said 
Sabina,  sitting  down  to  her  supper.  "  But  perhaps 
you'll  kindly  explain  what  you  mean  to  do  with  her 
now  that  you  have  fed  and  warmed  her.  I'm  afraid 
twopence  and  promises  wouldn't  go  far  with  any 
inn-keeper  in  these  days." 

"  She  said  she  wanted  to  go  home,"  answered 
Candida,  doubtfully.  "  But  it  has  begun  to  snow 
again,  and  the  wind  is  worse  than  ever.  It  would  be 
like   committingf    a    murder   to   turn    her    out    now. 


THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA.  77 

Perhaps  if  we  kept  her  till  to-morrow  morning  we 
could  persuade  her  to  go  into  a  refuge  or  infirmary." 

At  these  words  the  woman  on  the  sofa  opened  her 
eyes,  and  moved  uneasily 

"  For  Gawd's  sake,  lady,  don't  put  me  into  no 
refuges  ! "  she  said.  "  I've  been  there  ;  I  know  all 
about  'em.  They're  always  at  you  about  your  sins, 
and  the  love  of  Jesus,  and  they  makes  you  feel  bad 
inside  all  for  nothing.  I  shan't  last  much  longer," 
she  added  drowsily;  *'but  I  mean  to  die  in  the 
open." 

"You  shall  do  just  as  you  please,"  said  Can- 
dida. "But  I  hope  you  will  remain  here  to-night, 
and  to-morrow  we  will  see  if  we  can  do  anything  to 
help  you,  to  make  you  more  comfortable." 

She  fetched  a  warm  rug  from  her  bedroom,  and 
wrapped  it  round  the  shrunken  figure  of  the  woman, 
who  was  soon  asleep  again. 

**  I  suppose  you  would  like  to  support  her  for  the 
remainder  of  her  existence,"  said  Sabina,  sarcastically. 

Candida  looked  at  her  with  a  wistful  glance. 

"  I  believe  we  could  do  it  if  we  lived  on  porridge," 
she  said.  "  The  poor  creature  was  right  in  saying 
that  she  would  not  last  long.  There  is  death  in  her 
face." 

"Well,  I  haven't  the  slightest  intention  of  living 
on  porridge,  or  of  sharing  a  lodging  with  a  woman 
picked  out  of  the  gutter,"  said  Sabina.  "  As  it  is, 
the  landlady  will  probably  give  us  notice  to-morrow. 


78  THE   CAREER   OF  CANDIDA. 

I'm  going  to  bed.  Do  you  mean  to  leave  your  guest 
alone  here,  in  order  that  she  may  pocket  what  she 
pleases  in  the  morning  ?  " 

"  No,  I  shall  put  on  my  dressing-gown,  and  sleep 
in  an  armchair.  We  can't  disturb  the  poor  creature 
now.  She  shall  be  left  in  peace  for  a  few  hours,  at 
least" 

Candida,  tired  with  a  hard  day's  work,  slept 
soundly  on  her  improvised  bed,  and  did  not  awake 
until  half-past  seven,  her  usual  hour  of  rising.  As 
the  events  of  the  past  night  slowly  returned  to  her 
mind,  she  glanced  anxiously  round  the  room  ;  but  it 
was  empty.  The  guest  must  have  stolen  away  in  the 
early  winter  dawn,  scared  by  the  prospect  of  being 
delivered  over  to  the  tender  mercies  of  the  good.  A 
deliberate  scrutiny  of  the  room  revealed  the  fact  that 
she  had  taken  nothing  with  her.  The  little  orna- 
ments on  the  mantel-piece  were  undisturbed ;  the 
tale  of  the  spoons  and  forks  was  complete. 

With  a  heavy  heart  Candida  went  off  to  her  morn- 
ing's work.  On  her  return  to  the  midday  dinner,  she 
was  informed  by  Sabina  that  the  outraged  landlady, 
who  had  somehow  got  wind  of  her  lodger's  strange 
proceedings,  had  expressed  her  intention  of  giving 
them  notice  to  quit  the  next  time  that  they  brought 
in  "  creatures  "  out  of  the  street 

"  She  means  it,  too,"  concluded  Sabina.  "  She 
has  cherished  a  grudge  against  you,  Candida,  ever 
since    you    took   the   last  slavey   but    one    to    the 


THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA.  79 

Ophthalmic  Hospital,  and  brought  her  home  in  spec- 
tacles. What  a  row  there  was  when  the  old  lady 
refused  to  let  her  wear  them  !  I  never  realized  till 
then  what  a  fearful  temper  you  had." 

"Any  display  of  temper  was  justified  by  her 
diabolical  behaviour,"  cried  Candida,  flushing  with 
indignation  at  the  remembrance.  "  I  wasn't  going 
to  allow  the  wretched  child  to  lose  her  sight  for  a 
mere  whim.  The  barbarous  old  hag,  to  say  that  she 
couldn't  have  a  servant  of  hers  doing  her  work  in 
spectacles  ! " 

"  So  you  gave  the  old  hag  a  piece  of  your  mind, 
and  she  gave  the  slavey  a  month's  warning.  And 
the  end  of  the  matter  was  that  you  had  to  pawn 
your  watch  in  order  to  support  the  girl  till  she  got 
another  place." 

"Yes,  that  was  rather  inconvenient,"  admitted 
Candida.  "  But  in  the  end  I  found  her  a  situation 
with  some  human  beings,  who  are  rather  proud  of 
having  a  spectacled  servant  ;  they  think  it  makes 
her  look  like  a  lady-help.  I  don't  regret  my  action 
in  that  case  at  all,  but  I  am  willing  to  admit  that 
I  may  sometimes  be  too  impulsive  and  unpractical. 
I  had  no  right  to  bring  that  woman  last  night  into  a 
room  which  I  share  with  another  person,  particularly 
if  that  other  person  were  likely  to  object.  I  ought  to 
have  given  her  some  food  at  a  restaurant,  and  sent 
her  home  in  a  cab.  But  it  cut  me  to  the  heart  to 
see  her  evident  expectation  of  harshness  and  cruelty, 


8o  THE   CAREER  OF   CANDIDA. 

when  I,  another  woman,  spoke  to  her.  She  seemed 
to  think  that  because  she  wag  ill  and  in  misery  it 
was  natural  that  I  should  treat  her  with  cold-blooded 
brutality.  Oh!"  she  went  on,  with  sudden  passion, 
"I  feel  sometimes  as  if  all  the  wretchedness  in 
London  were  resting  on  my  shoulders,  and  I  could 
not  lift  a  finger  to  lighten  the  burden.  I  daren't 
think,  I  daren't  listen,  I  daren't  look  to  the  right 
hand  or  to  the  left  when  I  walk  through  the  streets. 
The  sound  of 

*  Women  sobbing  out  of  sight 
Because  men  made  the  laws  ' 

seems  to  be  always  in  myears." 

"  I  don't  see  why  you  should  worry  yourself  about 
it,"  said  Sabina.  "  You  have  no  time,  or  money,  or 
influence.     You  can't  do  anything." 

"  No,  not  now,"  admitted  Candida,  mournfully.  "  I 
can  do  nothing  but  feel  for  them.  But  if  I  live, 
I'll  do  something  for  them  some  day,  when  I  am 
older  and  wiser,  and  have  conquered  in  the  struggle 
for  life.  It  may  be  twenty  years  before  I'm  ready, 
but  I  shall  be  gaining  experience,  preparing  myself 
all  the  time.  I  can  be  patient,  but  if  I  can  help 
it,  I  won't  go  out  of  the  world  without  having  broken 
a  lance  on  behalf  of  my  sisters,  who  are  mad^  the 
victims  and  scapegoats  of  society." 

"  I  don't  recommend  you  to  wait  too  long,"  observed 
Sabina,  with  her  little   cynical   smile — "at   least,  if 


THE   CAREER  OF  CANDIDA.  81 

you  want  men  to  help  you.  If  you  wait  till  you  have 
lost  your  looks,  you  may  talk  till  you  are  black 
in  the  face,  and  however  eloquent  your  pleading, 
however  admirable  your  cause,  no  man  will  heed 
you." 


CHAPTER  VIII. 

In  the  course  of  the  spring,  Candida  received  dis- 
quieting accounts  of  her  grandmother's  health  from 
time  to  time.  The  old  lady  was  evidently  failing 
rapidly,  both  in  mind  and  body,  so  that  it  was  with 
but  little  surprise  that  the  girl  received  a  telegram 
one  morning,  early  in  May,  summoning  her  to  Branks- 
mead,  to  take  a  last  leave  of  her  grandmother. 

A  few  hours  later  she  drove  up  to  the  door  of 
her  own  home,  where  her  father  was  looking  out 
for  her. 

"Lester  will  have  told  you  that  you  are  just  in 
time,"  he  said.  "  But  the  doctors  think  that  she 
can  scarcely  live  through  the  night." 

"  Let  me  go  to  her  at  once,"  said  Candida,  in  awed 
tones,  for  this  waa  the  first  time  that  Death  had  laid 
his  hand  upon  one  who  was  near  to  her,  and  warm 
though  the  life-blood  was  in  her  veins,  it  made  her 
realize  his  power. 

She  slipped  her  hand  through  her  father's  arm,  and 
together   they  went    upstairs  to  the  sick-room.     As 


THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA.  83 

the  door  opened  Candida  heard  the  faint  sound  of 
a  murmuring  voice.  Her  grandmother,  wearing  a 
nightgown  that  seemed  composed  entirely  of  em- 
broidery and  tucks,  and  a  cap  trimmed  with  fine  old 
lace,  was  talking  softly  to  herself,  as  she  lay  among 
her  pillows,  and  picked  at  the  counterpane  with 
transparent  fingers.  Her  finely  cut  aquiline  nose 
looked  pinched,  and  there  were  faint  grey  shadows 
round  her  mouth  and  eyes ;  otherwise  Candida 
thought  her  but  little  altered.  Her  daughter  was 
kneeling  beside  the  bed,  her  face  hidden  in  her 
hands. 

"Your  mother  has  gone  to  He  down,"  whispered 
Mr.  St.  John.     "  She  was  up  all  last  night." 

"  It  must  be  nearly  time  to  start,"  the  dying  woman 
was  saying  to  herself  "  We  must  get  there  early, 
or  my  best  partners  will  have  their  cards  filled  up.  I 
shall  look  like  a  debutante  to-night  in  this  white 
gown,  but  they  say  that  white  suits  me  better  than 
any  colour.  I  promised  Sir  James  the  first  waltz. 
Will  he  speak  to-night,  I  wonder  ?  A  little  encourage- 
ment— after  supper — and  I  ought  to  be  able  to  bring 
him  to  the  point." 

She  stopped  to  give  a  little  laugh  of  triumph. 

Miss  Agnes  raised  an  agonized  face  to  her 
brother. 

"  Can  nothing  be  done  to  bring  her  to  a  sense  of 
her  frightful  peril .-' "  she  asked.  "  This  worldly  talk 
is  too  horrible  when  we  know  that  in  a  few  hours 


84  THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA. 

she  will  be  plunged  into  eternity.  I  have  sent  for 
Mr.  Oriel ;  I  hoped  he  would  have  been  here  before 
now." 

"  Poor  soul,  she  seems  quite  happy  and  peaceful," 
said  Mr.  St.  John.     "  It  seems  a  pity  to  disturb  her." 

"  I  hope  I'm  in  looks  to-night,"  went  on  the  sick 
woman.  "  The  Leveson  girl  is  to  be  there,  and  they 
say  she  is  quite  a  belle,  with  a  waist  of  eighteen  inches. 
But  Sir  James  declares " 

"  Mr.  Oriel  is  here,"  answered  a  voice  at  the  door. 

"Thank  God  ! "  cried  Miss  Agnes,  devoutly.  "Beg 
him  to  come  in  at  once,  Martin." 

The  young  curate  entered,  a  big  Prayer-book  under 
his  arm,  and  a  scared  expression  on  his  face. 

"  Oh,  Mr.  Oriel,"  said  the  afflicted  daughter,  "  do 
speak  to  her ;  do  try  and  lead  her  mind  to  holy 
thoughts." 

Thus  adjured,  the  unhappy  curate  cautiously  ap- 
proached the  bed.  The  sight  of  a  masculine  figure 
attracted  the  invalid's  attention. 

"  I  don't  think  I've  met  you  before,"  she  remarked, 
staring  up  at  him.  "  Or  were  you  introduced  to  me 
at  the  Hunt  ball?  I'm  afraid  I  can't  give  you  a 
dance  to-night ;  my  programme  is  quite  full.  Besides," 
she  added  in  a  would-be  aside,  "  I  never  dance  with 
parsons." 

"  My  dear  sister,"  began  the  young  man,  in  trem- 
bling tones,  "  let  me  exhort  you  to  turn  your  thoughts 
in  this  awful  hour  to  things  that  may  be  of  comfort 


THE   CAREER  OF   CANDIDA.  85 

and  healing  to  your  soul.  Remember  that  there  is 
time,  even  at  the  eleventh  hour,  for  all  who  truly " 

"What  is  he  mumbling  about  now?"  demanded 
the  old  lady,  sharply.  "  If  it's  eleven  o'clock  it's  high 
time  the  carriage  came  round.  The  first  waltz  will  be 
over  before  we  get  there,  and  I  promised  Sir  James  I 
would  be  punctual" 

"You  see  she  is  in  no  state  to  benefit  by  your 
ministrations,"  whispered  Mr.  St.  John.  "  But  if  you 
like  to  kneel  down  somewhere  out  of  sight,  and  read 
some  prayers  in  a  low  tone,  it  will  be  a  comfort  to  my 
sister,  and  can  do  the  patient  no  harm." 

The  curate,  with  evident  relief,  retired  behind  the 
cheval-glass,  and  began  to  read  extracts  from  the 
service  for  the  Visitation  of  the  Sick,  which  mingled 
strangely  with  the  wanderings  of  the  person  for  whose 
benefit  they  were  intended. 

"I  hope  my  hair  is  quite  firm,"  she  muttered, 
trying  to  raise  one  hand  to  her  head.  "That  new 
polka  mazurka  is  enough  to  shake  out  all  one's  hair- 
pins. I  came  home  from  the  last  assembly  dance 
with  my  wreath  hanging  over  one  ear ;  Colonel  Gay- 
thorpe  said  I  looked  like  a  Bacchante." 

"  Sanctify,  we  pray  thee,  this  thy  fatherly  correction 
to  her,"  monotoned  the  curate,  "that  the  sense  of 
her  weakness  may  add  strength  to  her  faith,  and 
seriousness  to  her  repentance." 

"  I  feel  rather  breathless,"  went  on  the  voice  from 
the  bed.     "  I'm  afraid  I  made  Bellman  lace  me  too 


86  THE   CAREER   OF  CANDIDA. 

tight.  But  I  told  her  she  must  draw  me  in  to  seven- 
teen inches,  because  the  Leveson  girl  is  eighteen.  I 
hope  the  lace  won't  break ;  it  might  injure  my  pros- 
pects for  life." 

"  Consider  her  contrition,"  came  from  behind  the 
cheval-glass.  "  Accept  her  tears,  assuage  her  pain,  as 
shall  seem  most  expedient  to  thee." 

The  montonous  reading'  seemed  to  soothe  the 
patient,  who  presently  fell  into  a  drowsy  state,  which 
lasted  for  several  hours.  Candida,  who  had  been 
sent  to  lie  down  at  ten  o'clock,  was  roused  soon  after 
midnight  by  her  mother. 

"  She  is  awake  now,"  said  Mrs.  St.  John ;  **  and  I 
think  the  end  must  be  very  near." 

When  they  reached  the  sick-room,  they  found  the 
dying  woman  in  a  most  enviable  frame  of  mind.  Her 
beautiful  dark  eyes  were  shining  like  stars,  and  there 
was  a  radiant  smile  upon  her  lips. 

"He  has  come  to  the  point  at  last,"  she  was  saying, 
"  and  everything  is  settled.  He  has  twenty  thousand 
a  year,  a  place  in  Berkshire,  and  a  house  in  Grosvenor 
Square.  The  settlements  are  all  that  could  be  wished, 
the  family  diamonds  are  to  be  reset,  and  all  the  other 
girls  are  mad  with  envy." 

She  closed  her  eyes  with  a  long-drawn  sigh  of 
happiness,  sank  back  upon  her  pillows,  and  before 
sunrise  had  gently  breathed  her  life  away. 

This  death-bed  scene,  the  first  that  she  had  ever 
witnessed,    made   a   deep   impression    on    Candida's 


THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA.  87 

mind.  She  had  fancied  that  death  must  always  of 
necessity  be  solemn,  tragic,  mysterious,  and  that  the 
aged,  at  least,  were  prepared  to  meet  the  great  change 
with  dignity  and  calm  acquiescence,  having  renounced 
all  hold  upon  the  world  and  the  infinite  littleness  of 
finite  life.  But  now  she  discovered  that  dying  could 
be  conducted  in  almost  as  frivolous  a  fashion  as 
living.  She  had  felt  sickened  and  ashamed  during 
the  great  last  scene  that  should  have  inspired  nothing 
but  awe,  while  the  solemn  mummeries  of  the  funeral 
had  almost  moved  her  to  an  outbreak  of  hysterical 
laughter.  The  obtrusive  quiet  of  the  undertaker's 
men,  the  difficulties  of  all  the  mourners  with  the 
buttons  of  their  new  kid  gloves,  the  abnormally 
developed  manes  and  tails  of  the  horses,  the  mag- 
nificent flowers  which  were  solemnly  deposited  in  the 
grave,  as  though  the  dead  woman  were  expected  to 
carry  a  bouquet  when  she  made  her  d^but  into  the 
next  world, — all  these  things  made  the  girl  feel  as  if 
death  were  but  an  undignified  continuation  of  the 
farcical  comedy  of  life. 

One.  day,  shortly  after  the  funeral,  her  father  found 
her  sitting  alone  upon  her  favourite  garden-seat,  an 
expression  of  puzzled  despondency  upon  her  face. 

"  You  are  troubled  and  depressed,"  he  said,  seating 
himself  beside  her.  "  It  is  only  to  be  expected  ;  you 
have  just  had  your  first  sight  of  death." 

"  It  is  not  death  that  troubles  me,"  she  answered. 
"  Death  seems  natural  and  comprehensible  enough. 


88  THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA. 

It  is  life  that  I  find  so  perplexing.  I  was  wondering 
whether  granny  was  still  alive  somewhere,  and  if  so, 
how  much  she  was  changed.  I  cannot  imagine  her 
being  happy  in  paradise  without  a  looking-glass, 
unless  she  were  transformed  into  somebody  else. 
And  if  she  is  to  be  somebody  else  to  all  eternity, 
why  should  she  have  been  herself  during  these  few 
years  upon  earth  .-* " 

"You  want  to  know  too  much,"  said  her  father. 
"  It  is  the  fashion  of  the  age  to  ask  unanswerable 
questions,  and  then  to  be  miserable  because  there  is 
no  reply.  Egoism  and  curiosity  are  the  distinguishing 
characteristics  of  the  period.  Our  vocabulary  will 
soon  be  reduced  to  two  words,  *  I,'  and  *  Why.' " 

"But  there  must  be  answers  to  all  these  questions, 
if  we  could  only  find  them  out,"  returned  Candida. 
"  Why  should  not  some,  at  least,  be  solved  in  our  life- 
time?" 

"  Why  not  ?  Life  seems  long  at  twenty,"  said  the 
squire,  smiling.  "  Let  me  suggest  a  possible  answer 
to  one  of  your  riddles  now.  You  ask  why  your  grand- 
mother should  have  been  herself  in  this  life,  wh,en  it  is 
probable  that  if  she  still  exists,  she  will  be  somebody 
quite  different  to  all  eternity  ?  I  reply  that  she  never 
was  herself  in  this  life,  except  perhaps  during  her 
earliest  childhood.  She,  like  most  other  women,  was 
the  purely  artificial  product  of  a  lopsided  civilization 
which  has  been  built  up  by  one  sex,  and  of  an  age  in 
which  one  sex  has  reigned  supreme.     It  may  be  that 


THE   CAREER  OF  CANDIDA.  89 

in  another  existence  these  victims  of  society  may 
have  a  chance  of  continuing  the  growth  that  was 
checked  and  stunted  in  this  life.  Here  they  never 
get  beyond  mental  childhood,  there  they  may  be 
allowed  to  attain  their  full  stature." 

"  That  is  a  consoling  theory,  certainly,"  said  Can- 
dida. "  But  it  would  be  better  practice  to  grant  them 
freedom  to  grow  as  high  as  they  can  in  the  only  life 
they  are  quite  sure  of." 

The  long  summer  holidays  passed  uneventfully 
away.  The  return  to  town  was  followed  by  an  increase 
of  work  and  an  increase  of  income.  A  rise  in  salary, 
and  a  few  more  private  pupils  obviated  the  necessity 
for  such  rigid  economy  as  Candida  had  been  com- 
pelled to  practise  during  the  preceding  winter.  The 
preparations  for  a  grand  public  performance  and 
prize-giving  which  was  to  be  held  at  the  Gymnasium 
early  in  the  new  year,  kept  her  busily  employed 
New  exercises  were  to  be  introduced,  and  extra 
classes  were  held  to  enable  the  pupils  to  practise 
for  the  important  event  Candida  had  no  time 
for  doubts  or  questionings,  and  her  spiritual  per- 
plexities quickly  disappeared  before  the  realities  of 
work-a-day  life. 


CHAPTER  IX. 

On  a  foggy  day  early  in  January,  two  young  men 
were  lunching  together  at  a  restaurant  in  Holborn. 
Their  tongues  went  even  faster  than  their  knives  and 
forks,  for  they  were  talking  that  financial  "shop" 
which  is  so  enthralling  to  the  initiated,  and  by  reason 
of  its  technical  jargon  so  fearsomely  mysterious  to  the 
outsider. 

"Got  anything  particular  to  do  this  afternoon, 
Sylvester  ? "  asked  the  elder,  as  he  beckoned  up  the 
waiter. 

"No,"  replied  the  other,  rather  gloomily.  "There 
is  no  object  in  going  back  to  the  old  shop  this  after- 
noon. Fred  is  there,  but  there's  absolutely  nothing 
doing.  No  one  dares  touch  anything.  I  never  saw 
the  market  in  such  a  state." 

"Then  there's  bound  to  be  a  reaction  soon,"  said 
his  friend,  more  cheerfully.  "The  slump  can't  last 
much  longer,  and  when  the  luck  turns  we'll  all  make 
our  fortunes.  You  had  better  come  with  me  this 
afternoon.      I'm  going  to  inspect  one  of  the  places 


THE  CAREER   OF   CANDIDA.  91 

where  they  manufacture  new  women,  and  I  can  take 
you  in  too,  if  you  like." 

"Doesn't  sound  much  in  my  line,  nor  in  yours 
either,  Travers.  Is  it  a  Women's  Suffrage  Meeting, 
or  what  ? " 

"No,  it's  a  field-day  at  a  girls'  gymnasium.  A 
young  cousin  of  mine  is  a  pupil  there,  and  she  says 
one  of  the  instructors  is  uncommonly  good-looking, 
with  the  best  figure  in  London.  Of  course,  you  can't 
trust  a  girl's  judgment  in  such  matters ;  but  as  I've 
nothing  particular  to  do,  I  thought  I'd  look  in  for 
half  an  hour.  There's  to  be  skirt-dancing  as  well  as 
gymnastics,  and  altogether  I  imagine  it  will  be  some- 
thing like  a  highly  respectable  music-hall  with  the 
songs  left  out." 

"H'm!"  said  Sylvester,  dubiously.  "That  doesn't 
sound  wildly  exciting.  Still,  I  don't  mind  going  with 
you  as  long  as  it's  only  for  half  an  hour.  I  suppose 
they  won't  allow  us  to  smoke." 

Candida,  though  she  had  no  time  to  think  about 
it,  happened  to  be  looking  her  best  that  afternoon. 
Her  cheeks  were  pink,  her  eyes  sparkling,  her  fair 
hair  slightly  ruffled,  and  her  whole  face  lit  up  with 
animation  and  excitement.  Her  costume,  a  well-cut 
tunic  and  knickerbockers  of  smoke-blue,  with  a 
silken  sash  loosely  knotted  round  the  waist,  became 
her  far  better  than  ordinary  feminine  attire.  She 
had  lately  been  unexpectedly  promoted,  owing  to 
the  marriage  of  one  of  the  other  instructors,  and  was 


93  THE  CAREER   OF   CANDIDA. 

now  second  in  command.  Her  "  chief"  being  occupied 
in  receiving  guests  and  superintending  the  general 
arrangements,  most  of  the  practical  work  fell  upon 
Candida.  It  was  she  who  had  to  put  the  squadrons 
through  the  musical  drill,  and  display  to  best  advantage 
the  various  feats  upon  the  vaulting-horse,  parallel  bars, 
swings,  and  ladders,  encouraging  the  timid,  covering 
the  mistakes  of  the  clumsy,  and  stimulating  the  "show 
pupils  "  to  the  highest  pitch  of  excellence. 

While  the  skirt-dancing  was  going  on  she  had 
leisure  to  look  about  her,  and  recognize  her  friends 
among  the  audience.  Her  glance,  wandering  carelessly 
over  the  rows  of  spectators,  was  arrested  by  the  dark 
eyes  and  pale  handsome  face  of  a  young  man  whom 
she  had  previously  remarked  as  being  one  of  the  most 
eager  in  interest  and  vehement  in  applause.  He 
must  be  a  friend  of  the  Travers's,  she  decided,  for  she 
had  noticed  that  Mabel  Travers  had  smiled  and  nodded 
at  him.  He  looked  ill  and  worn,  yet  he  was  certainly 
very  picturesque.  How  he  stared  !  She  met  his  eyes 
every  time  she  glanced  in  his  direction  until  the 
skirt-dancing  came  to  an  end,  and  she  was  called 
away  to  make  arrangements  for  the  high  jump. 

Meanwhile,  Adrian  Sylvester  had  been  so  carried 
away  by  his  enthusiastic  admiration  for  the  "girl  in 
blue  "  that  his  friend  Travers  had  been  obliged  to  try 
and  check  his  raptures  by  pointing  out  that  he  was 
making  an  ass  of  himself,  and  attracting  more  atten- 
tion than  any  of  ,the  performers.     But  Adrian,  having 


THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA.  93 

Irish  blood  in  his  veins,  was  but  httle  afflicted  with 
mmivaise  honte.  He  would  restrain  himself  for  a 
minute  or  two,  and  then  break  out  again  with — 

"  But  she's  superb,  she's  matchless,  she's  unique ! 
Can't  you  see  it,  old  fellow  ?  Haven't  you  got  any 
eyes  in  your  head  ?  Those  lines,  those  curves, 
those  attitudes !  It's  Freija  herself  come  back  to 
earth." 

"  Fry — how  much  ? "  asked  Travers.  "  A  fine, 
strapping  young  woman,  no  doubt ;  but  have  you 
noticed  that  little  witch  in  the  front  row,  the  one  with 
fluffy  hair  and  mauve  in  her  hat  ? " 

"That — pooh,  a  doll,  a  fashion-plate,"  returned  his 
friend,  contemptuously.  "  But  this  other  ;  look  how 
she  stands  and  moves !  Now  she's  carrying  that  jump- 
ing apparatus  across  the  room.  Did  you  ever  see 
such  a  poise,  such  poetry  of  motion }  Can't  you 
appreciate  the  turn  of  her  head,  and  that  pillar  of  a 
throat,  and  the  way  her  hair  crests  up  from  the 
parting }  Here,  where's  my  pencil  ?  I  must  try  and 
get  that  effect." 

For  a  few  minutes  he  sketched  rapidly,  with  bold 
firm  strokes,  while  his  friend  looked  admiringly  over 
his  shoulder. 

"Yes,  that's  not  bad,"  said  Travers,  at  length. 
"You've  got  the  general  effect  right  enough.  I 
always  said  you  ought  to  have  gone  in  for  art,  only 
I  suppose  you'd  never  have  had  the  patience  to  grind 
at  that  any  more  than  at  anything  else." 
7^ 


94  THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA. 

After  the  performance  there  was  tea  in  the  class- 
room for  the  guests  and  the  teachers.  Adrian  lost 
no  time  in  getting  hold  of  Travers's  aunt,  and  making 
her  introduce  him  to  Miss  St.  John,  who  was  helping 
to  pour  out  the  tea. 

"  I  have  been  longing  to  tell  you  how  much  I  have 
enjoyed  this  afternoon,"  he  said  eagerly.  "  The  whole 
thing  has  been  quite  a  revelation  to  me.  These  girls 
are  just  as  strong  and  active  as  boys,  and  they  seem 
to  take  quite  as  much  pleasure  in  violent  exercise. 
I  always  thought  that  they  preferred  dressing  dolls 
and  reading  story-books  to  any  active  amusements." 

"That  is  the  most  firmly  rooted  of  all  fallacies," 
said  Candida,  smiling  at  the  naiveti  of  his  manner. 
"From  their  earliest  childhood  girls  are  told  that  it 
is  tomboyish  to  run  and  jump  and  climb,  and  taught 
that  all  properly  behaved  young  ladies  ought  to  sit 
still  and  sew  their  seam  or  read  their  book.  Of 
course,  the  poor  little  twigs  grow  the  way  they  are 
bent ;  but  once  give  them  a  chance  of  sprouting  in  a 
natural  direction,  and  they  are  only  too  ready  to  take 
advantage  of  it.  Did  I  see  you  making  sketches  just 
now?"  she  added,  thinking  that  he  could  not  really 
be  interested  in  the  subject  of  feminine  education. 
"  Were  you  doing  them  for  a  paper  1 " 

"No,  only  for  my  own  amusement.  I  am  the 
merest  amateur." 

He  took  out  his  note-book,  and  opened  it  at  the  page 
which  contained  the  most  successful  study  of  herself. 


THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA.  95 

"  Did  I  really  look  like  that  ? "  she  asked,  in  pleased 
surprise.  "  I  had  no  idea  that  I  could  ever  look  so 
— so  nice.  But,  apart  from  all  question  of  resemblance, 
it  seems  to  me  a  very  clever  sketch.  May  I  look  at 
some  of  the  others  .-* " 

He  turned  over  the  leaves  for  her,  and  together 
they  laughed  at  one  or  two  caricatures  of  stout,  clumsy 
girls  who  had  twisted  themselves  into  extraordinary 
contortions  in  the  conscientious  effort  to  perform  some 
difficult  feat  The  sketches  led  Adrian  to  ask  for 
information  about  some  of  the  exercises  with  clubs 
and  bar-bells  that  had  particularly  taken  his  fancy ; 
but  before  his  companion  could  enlighten  him  very 
far  she  was  called  away  to  attend  to  other  visitors. 
Just  before  his  departure, "  however,  the  young  man 
contrived  to  get  another  word  with  her. 

"  I  was  so  awfully  interested  in  what  you  were 
telling  me  just  now,"  he  said.  "  I  should  have  liked 
to  hear  a.  lot  more,  because  I  want  to  try  some  of 
thosfe  things  myself.  I  don't  get  half  enough  exercise 
to  keep  me  in  health." 

He  paused,  and  looked  at  her  with  soft  wistful  eyes. 
Even  had  she  been  less  attracted  by  him  than  she 
was,  Candida  could  hardly  have  refused  the  invitation 
he  was  so  evidently  angling  for. 

"  If  you  will  come  and  see  us  some  Sunday  at  tea- 
time,  I  will  tell  you  all  I  can,"  she  answered  cordially. 
"Our  address  is  197,  Blake- Street." 

On    the    Sunday    week    following,    Candida    was 


96  THE  CAREER  OF   CANDIDA. 

unwillingly  entertaining  a  visitor  of  whom  she  had 
seen  a  good  deal  more  than  she  desired  during  the  past 
few  months.  This  was  a  certain  Professor  Harding,  an 
Oxford  don,  and  a  personage  of  some  celebrity  in  his 
own  sphere.  The  professor  was  rather  an  unfinished- 
looking  specimen  of  humanity,  with  a  narrow  chest 
and  short  legs,  weak  sight  and  a  scanty  growth  of 
hair;  but,  like  many  of  his  kind,  he  was  blessed 
with  a  magnifying  eye  where  his  own  personality  was 
concerned.  He  always  walked  on  tip-toe,  bowed  his 
head  on  entering  a  door  of  average  height,  and 
evidently  saw  himself  in  imagination  as  a  man  of 
imposing  presence,  and  more  than  ordinary  strength. 
He  cherished  a  theoretical  enthusiasm  for  physical 
culture,  for  Nature,  and  for  poetry  of  the  robust  school, 
frankly  declaring  himself  a  pagan  in  temperament,  and 
an  enemy  of  civilization.  He  had  professed  an  immense 
admiration  for  Candida  from  the  first  moment  of 
their  acquaintance.  In  appearance  she  was  his 
feminine  ideal,  he  openly  averred ;  he  had  never 
before  seen  any  woman  so  purely,  so  completely 
Greek.  He  was  sure  that  in  a  former  incarnation  she 
must  have  raced  with  Atalanta,  or  played  at  ball 
with  Nausicaa. 

The  languid  raptures  of  this  puny  admirer  inspired 
his  idol  with  nothing  but  irritation  and  distaste. 
She  did  her  best  to  avert  a  threatened  declaration 
by  laughing  at  his  Neo-Hellenism,  disagreeing  with 
his  artistic  theories,  refusing  to  share  his  contempt 


THE  CAREER   OF   CANDIDA.  97 

for  all  good  work  that  lay  outside  his  own  narrow 
canons  of  taste,  and  even  declaring  herself  unable  to 
appreciate  Walt  Whitman.  This  last  heresy  had 
almost  sent  the  professor  back  to  Oxford  cured  of  his 
infatuation ;  but  the  thought  that  his  eloquence  might 
enable  him  to  make  a  convert  of  this  splendid  young 
Philistine  brought  him  once  again  to  Blake  Street 
with  an  expression  of  determination  in  his  watery  eyes 
that  made  his  hostess's  heart  quail  within  her,  for 
Sabina  had  fled,  and  she  shrank  from  making  herself 
positively  unpleasant  in  her  own  house.  However, 
geniality,  she  felt,  would  be  fatal,  so  she  sat  and 
listened  with  but  the  faintest  pretence  of  interest  while 
her  admirer  endeavoured  to  entertain  her  with  highly 
coloured  word-sketches  of  the  Alpine  scenery  amid 
which  he  had  spent  his  summer  vacation. 

"  I'm  afraid  you  hardly  sympathize  with  my  feeling 
for  Nature,"  he  said  at  length,  perceiving  that  his 
efforts  scarcely  met  with  the  appreciation  that  he  con- 
sidered their  due.  "  I  hope  you  are  not  a  disciple  of 
Peter  BelL" 

"  I  believe  I  am,"  replied  Candida,  eagerly  seizing 
another  opportunity  of  proving  her  heterodoxy.  "  At 
least,  a  primrose  by  the  river's  brim,  or  anywhere  else, 
a  yellow  primrose  is  to  me,  and  nothing  more.  I 
don't  see  why  it  should  be  any  more  ;  it  certainly  would 
not  have  any  greater  attractions  for  me  if  I  could  see 
a  moral  lesson  in  it.  It  strikes  me  that  nowadays 
Nature  suffers  more  from  her  admirers  than  from  those 


98  THE   CAREER   OF  CANDIDA. 

who  are  simply  indifferent  to  her.  I  am  thinking  of 
the  persons  who  find  lectures  in  stones,  magazine 
articles  in  the  running  brooks,  and  self-advertisement 
in  everything.  They  patronize  the  Alps,  write  puff- 
paragraphs  about  the  first  daffodil,  and  are  always 
ready  to  do  the  honours  of  a  fine  sunset." 

"  But  the  interpreters  of  Nature,"  began  the  little 

man.     "  Surely  we  owe  something " 

"  I  don't  see  that  Nature  needs  any  interpreters," 
put  in  Candida.  "  If  we  are  blind  to  her  beauties,  no 
interpreter  can  give  us  eyes ;  but  it  is  a  mistake  to 
suppose  that  those  who  look  and  admire  in  silence 
are  less  appreciative  than  the  self-constituted  word- 
painters,  who  vulgarize  the  most  exquisite  landscapes 
by  trying  to  lithograph  them  in  crudely-coloured 
language.  I  am  often  reminded,  when  I  read  modern 
descriptive  writing,  of  Cowell's  remark  that  '  if  every- 
body must  needs  blab  of  the  favours  that  have  been 
done  him  by  roadside  and  river-brink  and  woodland 
walk,  as  if  to  kiss  and  tell  were  no  longer  treachery, 
it  will  be  a  positive  refreshment  to  meet  a  man 
who  is  as  superbly  indifferent  to  Nature  as  she  is 
to  him.' " 

"  How  brutally  I'm  behaving,"  she  added  to  herself, 
remorsefully.  "  Still,  it's  the  truest  kindness  in  his  case, 
for  a  refusal  would  be  a  crushing  blow  to  his  vanity." 
Fortunately,  before  her  admirer  could  think  of  a 
suitable  reply  to  this  attack  upon  Nature's  self-com- 
placent showmen,  the  door  opened,  and  Mr.  Sylvester 


THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA.  99 

was  announced.  The  cordiality  with  which  the  new- 
comer was  received  put  the  finishing  touch  to  the  pro- 
fessor's displeasure.  After  sitting  for  a  few  moments 
in  sulky  silence,  he  took  his  departure,  carefully 
explaining  that  as  he  was  returning  to  Oxford  on  the 
following  day,  it  would  probably  be  a  long  time 
before  he  had  the  pleasure  of  meeting  Miss  St.  John 
again. 

When  Adrian  found  himself  alone  with  his  hostess, 
he  drew  his  chair  nearer  to  hers,  and  said  in  confi- 
dential tones — 

"  I've  bought  a  pair  of  dumb-bells." 

"I'm  delighted  to  hear  it,"  she  answered,  amused  at 
his  evident  expectation  of  her  interest  and  sympathy. 
"If  you  practise  with  them  regularly  I'm  sure  you'll 
feel  the  better  for  it." 

"  It's  precious  dull  work,"  he  observed  ruefully. 
"They  want  musical  accompaniments,  such  as  you 
have  at  your  gymnasium,  to  make  them  go  down. 
I'm  awfully  fond  of  music ;  perhaps  you'll  let  me  try 
your  piano  some  day." 

"  What,  you're  a  musician  as  well  as  an  artist .-' " 
said  Candida.  "How  many  more  accomplishments 
do  you  possess  } " 

"  Oh,  I  only  just  strum  a  little,  chiefly  by  ear,"  he 
answered  modestly.  "And  as  for  drawing,  I — I — 
er " 

He  paused,  and  put  his  hand  to  his  head.  Candida 
noticed  that  he  had  turned  deadly  white. 


loo  THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA. 

"You  are  not  feeling  well,"  she  cried  anxiously. 
"Your  head  is  bad." 

"  Oh,  it's  nothing — nothing  to  speak  of,"  he  answered 
faintly.  "  Only  the  room  is  rather  warm,  and  coming 
in  out  of  the  cold  I — I " 

His  voice  failed  again,  and,  to  his  hostess's  dismay, 
he  gradually  slipped  from  his  chair,  and  subsided  on 
to  the  floor.  Candida  ran  to  the  window,  and  threw 
it  open,  then  placed  a  cushion  under  the  head  of  the 
unconscious  youth,  and  dashed  some  water  from  a 
flower-vase  in  his  face.  As  she  did  so,  she  was  again 
struck  by  the  clear-cut  beauty  of  his  features,  in  spite 
of  their  ashen  pallor. 

In  a  few  moments  he  began  to  revive.  The  dark 
eyes  opened,  and  fixed  themselves  upon  her  face. 

"Violet,"  he  murmured  softly,  "you  have  come 
back  to  me," 

Candida  made  no  reply,  but  contented  herself  with 
chafing  his  cold  hands  in  her  warm  ones.  As  the 
faintness  gradually  passed  away,  he  raised  his  head, 
and  stared  round  him  in  dazed  perplexity. 

"I'm  damned  if  I  know  where  I  am,"  he  said 
in  more  natural  tones.  "  Have  I  been  drinking 
again  ? " 

"No,  no,"  cried  Candida,  quickly.  "You  are  with 
me — Miss  St.  John.  The  room  was  too  warm,  and 
it  made  you  feel  a  little  faint" 

A  hot  flush  of  shame  stole  over  his  face. 

"  Good  heavens,  what  must  you  think  of  me ! "  he 


THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA.  loi 

cried.  "  How  could  I  make  such  a  fool  of  myself, 
and  give  you  all  this  trouble  ? " 

"You  mustn't  talk  like  that,"  she  said  kindly. 
"  Come,  let  me  help  you  on  to  the  sofa.  You 
must  lie  still  till  you  feel  quite  recovered,  and  then 
I  will  send  for  a  cab." 

"  How  good  you  are  to  me ! "  he  said  gratefully, 
as  he  lay  back  upon  the  cushions  of  the  sofa.  "  My 
mother  would  like  to  thank  you  if  she  knew." 

There  was  a  change  in  his  voice  as  he  spoke  of 
his  mother  that  went  to  Candida's  heart. 

"  You  are  her  only  son  ? "  she  asked. 

He  nodded. 

"And  she  is  a  widow,"  he  answered  softly. 

"  You  ought  to  take  care  of  yourself  for  her  sake. 
You  don't  look  very  strong." 

"  Oh,  I'm  pretty  tough,"  he  said  carelessly.  "  I 
don't  want  you  to  think  me  a  chronic  invalid.  Shall 
I  tell  you  what  really  made  me  feel  so  queer  to-day  ? " 
he  added  impulsively,  a  twinkle  dawning  in  his  eyes. 

"  Yes,  if  you  don't  mind  my  knowing." 

"  You  promise  not  to  be  shocked  ? " 

"  Yes,  if  it's  not  very  shocking." 

"Well,  then,  I  didn't  get  to  bed  till  past  four  this 
morning,  and  I've  had  nothing  all  day  but  some 
soda-water  and  a  biscuit." 

"  Oh,"  cried  Candida,  "  how  can  you  destroy  your 
health  in  that  fashion  ?  Do  I  know  you  well  enough 
to  say  that  you  are  very  wrong  and  very  foolish  ? " 


loa  THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA. 

"You  may  call  me  whatever  names  you  please," 
he  answered  cheerfully.  "  I  know  I'm  playing  the 
deuce  with  my  health,  but  I  can't  help  it ;  I'm  driven 
to  it.  The  other  fellows  in  my  set  do  just  the  same, 
and  I  can't  keep  out  of  it ;  I  wasn't  cut  out  for  a 
hermit.  I'm  sure  there  are  times  when  I  feel  sick 
enough  of  it  all,  when  the  whole  thing  bores  me  to 
death — whisky,  and  cards,  and  music-halls,  and  all  the 
rest  of  it.  Yet  I  can't  mope  at  home  every  evening ; 
I'm  such  a  sociable  beast.  And,  after  all,  one  can 
only  enjoy  one's  self  while  one's  young." 

"  But  it  seems  a  pity  to  use  up  youth  and  strength 
as  you  are  doing  without  getting  any  real  enjoyment 
in  return,"  said  Candida,  secretly  flattered  at  the 
confidence  that  had  been  reposed  in  her.  "  Don't  you 
know  any  pleasant  houses  where  you  can  drop  in  in 
the  evening  when  you've  nothing  particular  to  do, 
without  waiting  to  be  asked  ? " 

"  No,  I  haven't  a  general  invitation  to  any  house 
I  should  care  to  go  to  in  that  sort  of  way ;  I  wish  I 
had.  But,  you  see,  I'm  not  an  eligible,  and  so  mothers 
don't  encourage  me.  As  a  rule,  I  spend  my  evenings 
between  the  club  and  the  music-halls.  But  that  sort 
of  thing  gets  frightfully  monotonous  after  a  time." 

"  You  ought  to  go  on  the  river  or  play  golf  when 
you  can  get  the  chance,"  said  Candida,  thoughtfully, 
for  she  was  becoming  interested  in  this  good-looking 
young  penitent ;  "  then  you  wouldn't  feel  tempted  to 
sit  up  playing  cards  till  four  in  the  morning.     And 


THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA.  103 

if  you  were  to  get  some  Indian  clubs  you  would  find 
them  more  interesting  than  dumb-bells,  especially  if 
you  had  any  one  to  play  accompaniments  for  you." 

Her  words  sounded  cold  and  unsympathetic  in  her 
own  ears.  This  youth  was  a  complete  stranger  to 
her ;  yet  he  had  allowed  her  a  glimpse  into  the  trials 
and  temptations  of  his  life.  Stranger  or  not,  he  was 
a  human  soul  in  a  fair  way  to  ruin  both  health  and 
happiness  for  want  of  a  friendly  hand.  She  felt  as 
though  he  had  appealed  to  her  for  help,  and  she  had 
tacitly  refused  it.  It  was  surely  in  the  highest  degree 
improbable  that  she  could  be  of  the  slightest  use  to 
him  ;  yet  was  it  not  her  duty  to  try }  Was  conven- 
tionality to  be  put  before  even  the  faintest  chance 
of  helping  a  fellow-creature }  The  thought  of  the 
widowed  mother  decided  her  to  cast  prudence  to  the 
winds,  and  yield  to  a  generous  impulse. 

"  I  don't  know  whether  you  would  care  to  come  in 
here  sometimes  in  the  evening  } "  she  said  hesitatingly. 
"I  am  nearly  always  at  home,  except  on  Mondays, 
and  if  you  would  come  without  waiting  for  a  special 
invitation,  I  should  be  very  pleased  to  see  you.  I 
am  afraid  you  would  find  it  rather  dull ;  but  I  could 
show  you  some  exercises  with  the  clubs,  and  play 
the  accompaniments,  though  I  am  not  much  of  a 
musician." 

"  Now,  I  do  call  that  kind ! "  he  cried,  his  face 
lighting  up.  "  I  shall  like  it  of  all  things,  and  I  only 
hope  you  won't  find  that  I  take  you  too  literally  at 


I04  THE  CAREER   OF   CANDIDA. 

your  word.     But  you  must  promise  to  turn  me  out 
if  I  bore  you  too  often." 

"Then  it's  a  bargain,"  said  Candida,  inwardly 
wondering  how  far  the  mild  entertainment  which  she 
had  to  offer  would  be  able  to  compete  with  the  charms 
of  whisky,  poker,  and  music-hall  artistes. 


CHAPTER   X. 

One  afternoon,  some  three  or  four  months  later,  as 
the  two  girls  were  sitting  together  at  tea,  a  large 
cardboard  box  was  brought  in,  addressed  to  Miss  St. 
John. 

"What's  that?"  asked  Sabina.  **You  don't  mean 
to  say  that  you  have  been  buying  a  new  hat  all  of 
your  own  accord  ? " 

Candida  looked  slightly  embarrassed. 

"  My  winter  hat  is  getting  so  very  shabby,"  she 
said  apologetically ;  "  and  you  are  always  telling 
me  how  unbecoming  it  is,  and  what  a  fright  I  look 
in  it.  But,  as  you  know,  I  am  a  perfect  baby  in  the 
hands  of  those  alarmingly  elegant  shopwomen.  They 
bring  out  all  the  hideous  things  that  nobody  else  will 
buy,  jam  them  on  my  head,  and  tell  me  that  I  never 
looked  so  well  in  my  life." 

"You  should  always  take  me  with  you  when  you 
go  to  buy  clothes,"  said  Sabina.  "Now,  let  me  see 
what  sort  of  monstrosity  you  have  invested  in  to-day. 
H'm,  not  so  bad  as  usual ;  there  must  have  been  a 


io6  THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA. 

special  providence  over  you.  Come  here,  and  put  it 
on." 

Candida  knelt  down  in  front  of  her  friend,  and 
submitted  to  have  the  broad-leafed  black  hat  placed 
at  different  angles  upon  her  head. 

"That's  better,"  said  Sabina,  as  she  bent  the  brim 
into  more  picturesque  curves.  "It's  really  most 
becoming.  It  transforms  you  from  a  magnificent 
dowdy  into  a  handsome,  stylish-looking  woman.  How 
does  it  suit  me  ? " 

She  placed  the  hat  on  her  own  curly  head,  while 
Candida  gazed  at  her  in  wistful  admiration. 

"You  always  look  as  pretty  as  a  picture  and  as 
smart  as  paint,"  she  said  with  a  little  sigh.  "  I  can't 
think  how  you  manage  it.  Now  I,  except  when  I 
am  wearing  my  gymnastic  costume,  feel  as  if  I  had 
the  effect  of  an  anachronism.  Fashionable  clothes 
never  look  natural  on  me," 

"  That's  because  you  don't  know  how  to  wear  them, 
^ou've  splendid  raw  material,  but  you  make  nothing 
of  it.  But  why  this  sudden  desire  to  shine  ?  It  would 
be  a  dangerous  symptom  in  any  other  woman." 

"  I  suppose  it's  natural  to  wish  to  look  one's  best," 
said  Candida.  "  Circumstances  compelled  me  to  be  a 
dowdy  for  the  first  year  after  we  came  to  town,  but 
now  there's  less  occasion  for  it.  And  it  seems  to  be 
considered  a  woman's  first  and  last  duty  to  look  as 
nice  as  she  can." 

"Saul  among  the  prophets,"  laughed  Sabina.     "I 


THE   CAREER  OF   CANDIDA.  107 

shall  have  to  look  to  my  laurels  soon.  By  the  way, 
do  you  expect  your  young  Adonis  to-night .''  If  so, 
don't  ask  him  to  supper,  because  there's  not  enough 
for  three." 

"  I  don't  suppose  he  will  come  to-night,"  answered 
Candida.    "He  has  been  here  twice  this  week  already." 

Her  anticipation  of  a  solitary  evening,  however, 
proved  to  be  unfounded,  for  about  an  hour  after 
Sabina  had  started  for  the  theatre,  the  bell  rang,  and 
Mr.  Sylvester  was  announced. 

"I  didn't  mean  to  come  again  so  soon,"  he  said 
apologetically ;  "  but  I  had  nothing  to  do,  and  I  felt 
as  if  I  couldn't  get  through  the  evening  alone.  I 
knew  you  wouldn't  like  me  to  go  where  I  should  lose 
my  money,  and  lay  the  foundation  for  a  'head'  to- 
morrow, so  here  I  am." 

"  I  am  very  glad  to  see  you,"  said  Candida.  "  You 
have  looked  so  much  better  since  you  took  to  regular 
exercise  and  more  regular  hours." 

"  Yes,  I'm  two  inches  bigger  round  the  chest  already, 
thanks  to  Dr.  St.  John,"  he  said  gaily.  "And  I 
expect  soon  to  equal  Sandow  in  the  matter  of  muscle. 
I  want  you  to  show  me  that  snake  twist  with  the 
clubs  again  to-night,  if  you  don't  mind.  I  couldn't 
quite  get  the  hang  of  it  last  time." 

Although  nearly  four  months  had  passed  since 
Candida  had  given  her  impulsive  invitation,  and 
though  every  advantage  had  been  taken  of  it,  she  had 
not  yet  repented  her  of  her  rashness.     Sometimes  she 


io8  THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA. 

wondered  that  she  had  not  tired  of  the  society  of  her 
proUgi,  for  Adrian,  though  lively  and  quick-witted, 
was  but  little  superior  in  mind  or  culture  to  the 
average  young  man  of  his  class.  His  chief  merit  was 
due  to  the  fact  that  he  assumed  no  pose,  made  no 
pretensions  to  any  artistic  infallibility,  but  confessed 
his  ignorance  with  cheerful  unconcern,  yawned  when  he 
was  bored,  and  positively  refused  to  admire  anything 
that  did  not  really  appeal  to  his  taste.  His  simplicity 
and  naturalness  were  especially  refreshing  to  one  whose 
chief  acquaintance  lay  among  the  lesser  lights  of  art 
and  literature,  and  whose  amusement  at  their  affecta- 
tions had  long  since  changed  to  weariness  and  disgust. 

But  the  young  man's  strongest  attraction  in  the  eyes 
of  his  girl  friend  was  his  habit  of  consulting  her,  con- 
fiding in  her,  taking  her  sympathy  for  granted,  and 
making  her  feel  that  she  could  be  of  use  to  him. 
Unconsciously,  perhaps,  she  found  pleasure  in  the 
knowledge  that  there  was  some  one  outside  her  own 
family,  some  one  upon  whose  regard  she  had  no  claim 
of  kinship  or  long  habit,  who  yet  honestly  admired 
and  appreciated  her.  Then,  too,  unlike  most  young 
men,  he  was  not  in  the  least  afraid  of  her ;  he  con- 
fessed his  scrapes  to  her,  laughed  at  her  when  she 
was  disposed  to  be  solemn,  and  made  her  feel  young 
and  foolish  again,  as  she  was  almost  forgetting  how 
to  feel  under  the  pressure  of  work  and  the  burden  of 
responsibility. 

Sometimes  the  pair  went  out  together  on  Saturday 


THE   CAREER   OF  CANDIDA.  109 

afternoons  to  matinhs  or  exhibitions,  and  on  these 
occasions  Adrian  proved  himself  a  capital  playfellow. 
His  spirits  were  so  good,  his  enjoyment  so  complete, 
that  Candida  usually  caught  the  infection  of  his  gaiety, 
and  gave  herself  up  unreservedly  to  the  pleasure  of 
the  moment. 

Adrian,  in  the  beginning  of  their  acquaintance,  made 
no  attempt  to  analyze  his  feelings  ;  he  had  little  turn 
for  analysis  of  any  kind.  He  only  knew  that  Candida 
was  quite  different  from  any  girl  of  his  tolerably 
numerous  acquaintance,  and  that  he  admired  her 
more  than  any  of  his  former  loves.  Her  magnificent 
health  and  strength  appealed  to  him  the  more  that  he 
himself  was  easily  tired,  and  frequently  ailing ;  her 
calm  temperament  rested  his  excitable  nerves,  and 
her  superiority,  so  far  from  humiliating  him,  only 
made  her  friendship  the  more  flattering  to  his  self- 
love.  But  the  beginning  and  the  end  of  the  whole 
matter  was  that  he  admired  her  physically,  and 
with  him  admiration  and  love  were  interchangeable 
terms. 

It  was  not  long  before  he  felt  that  he  was  despe- 
rately in  love  with  this  new  friend,  and  that  he  should 
never  be  happy  until  he  had  won  her  for  his  own  ; 
but  he  was  aware  that  this  would  only  be  possible 
upon  terms  of  marriage,  and  the  idea  of  marriage 
had  not  hitherto  found  much  favour  in  his  eyes.  But 
of  late  his  feelings  had  been  undergoing  a  gradual 
change.     He  was  really  tired,  for    the  time    being, 


no  THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA. 

of  the  monotony  of  an  existence  spent  between  his 
office,  his  club,  and  the  music-halls  ;  his  mother  and 
sisters  were  always  urging  him  to  marry  and  settle 
down,  and  his  doctor  had  taken  to  croaking  about 
his  health.  His  income,  though  a  fluctuating  one, 
would  allow  of  his  supporting  a  wife,  and  from  the 
point  of  view  of  family,  a  Miss  St.  John  of  Branks- 
mead  would  be  a  brilliant  match  for  him.  But  to 
do  him  justice,  such  arguments  had  little  weight 
with  him  ;  it  was  enough  that  he  wanted  this  girl 
for  his  own,  and  that  he  could  only  have  her  through 
the  gate  of  marriage. 

As  yet  he  had  given  her  no  hint  of  his  intentions, 
for  he  was  not  by  any  means  certain  of  her  feel- 
ing for  him.  Being  a  sceptic  as  to  the  possibility 
of  friendship  between  men  and  women,  he  believed 
that  her  kindness  to  himself,  and  her  undisguised 
liking  for  his  society,  were  signs  that  she  was,  uncon- 
sciously perhaps,  strongly  attracted  by  him  ;  at  the 
same  time,  he  feared  lest  by  any  premature  word 
or  deed  he  should  put  a  stop  to  their  delightful  inti- 
macy. A  kind  of  natural  instinct,  which  stands  him 
who  possesses  it  in  better  stead  than  wide  experience, 
taught  him  the  best  method  of  treating  her,  and 
helped  him  to  steer  clear  of  anything  that  might 
frighten  or  repel  her. 

To-night,  however,  he  was  feeling  agitated  and 
uncertain  of  himself.  He  had  been  suffering  from 
"nerves"  all  day,  and  at  dinner  had  doctored  himself 


THE   CAREER  OF  CANDIDA.  iii 

with  champagne  and  Hqueurs ;  but  the  medicine  had 
failed  to  effect  a  'cure.  He  began  to  wish  that  he 
had  not  come,  and  to  wonder  what  excuse  he  could 
make  for  an  early  departure.  Meanwhile,  he  took 
the  clubs  in  his  trembling  hands,  and  Candida  sat 
down  to  the  piano  to  play  an  accompaniment  to  the 
exercise.  As  he  stood  behind  her,  his  attention  was 
distracted  by  the  curve  of  her  neck,  and  the  gleam 
of  the  lamplight  upon  the  twisted  coils  of  her  hair. 
His  absence  of  mind  resulted  in  the  complete  failure 
of  his  performance,  and  the  sound  of  the  clubs  being 
knocked  awkwardly  together  made  Candida  stop 
playing,  and  turn  round  on  the  stool. 

"  Oh,  you  are  doing  it  all  wrong,"  she  cried.  "  I'm 
afraid  you  haven't  been  taking  pains.  Let  me  show 
you  again," 

She  took  the  clubs  from  him,  tucked  up  her  sleeves, 
and  went  through  the  evolutions  of  the  exercise,  while 
Adrian  stood  in  front  of  her,  his  eyes  drinking  in  the 
exquisite  effects  produced  by  the  white  waving  arms, 
the  gleaming  ebony  clubs,  and  the  unconsciously 
graceful  attitudes.  When  at  length  she  paused  he 
dared  not  speak,  he  scarcely  dared  to  breathe. 

"  Now,"  she  said,  slightly  embarrassed  in  her  turn 
by  his  silence  and  strange  looks,  "let  me  see  you  do 
it  without  the  music.  I  expect  you  keep  your  wrists 
too  stiff." 

As  she  gave  him  the  clubs  she  started  to  feel  how 
cold  his  hands  were.     Thinking  that  he  must  be  ill, 


112  THE  CAREER   OF   CANDIDA. 

she  glanced  anxiously  in  his  face,  and  saw  that  his 
cheeks  were  flushed  and  his  eyes  burning. 

"  You  are  so  beautiful  to-night !  "  he  said  under  his 
breath. 

Involuntarily  Candida  stepped  backwards,  a  startled 
look  coming  into  her  face.  Her  movement  of  sug- 
gested flight,  the  unwonted  timidity  of  her  expres- 
sion gave  him  a  sudden  spurt  of  courage.  The  clubs 
fell  to  the  ground  with  a  crash  as  he  sprang  forward 
and  threw  himself  at  her  feet. 

"  I  love  you  !  "  he  cried,  almost  grovelling  before 
her — "  I  love  you  !  No,  don't  push  me  away  ;  don't  be 
unkind  to  me.  For  Cod's  sake  say  you  love  me  too ! 
You  must ;  you  belong  to  me.  Nobody  ever  loved 
you  as  I  do." 

"  Oh,  don't — please  don't ! "  exclaimed  Candida, 
astonished  to  find  that  all  her  boasted  self-possession 
had  deserted  her.  "  I  would  so  much  rather  you  didn't 
Oh,  do  get  up ;  please  let  me  go." 

Was  that  little  trembling,  imploring  voice  really 
her  own .?  Was  this  foolish,  shrinking,  breathless 
creature  really  her  calm  and  dignified  self.?  What 
strange  magic  could  have  been  laid  upon  her  that  she 
was  thus  transformed  in  a  moment  into  an  awkward 
frightened  girl,  without  even  the  strength  of  mind 
to  deal  with  an  undesired  avowal.?  She  told  herself 
angrily  that  she  must  throw  off  this  weakness,  must 
put  a  stop  to  this  dreadful  scene.  With  a  determined 
effort  she  freed  herself  from  her  lover's  clasp,  and 


THE  CAREER   OF   CANDIDA.  113 

retreated  behind  the  table.  But  in  an  instant  he  was 
by  her  side,  was  leaning  over  her,  was  looking  im- 
ploringly into  her  face. 

"You  have  always  been  so  kind  to  me,"  he  mur- 
mured. "Don't  be  cruel  to  me  now.  Make  me 
happy  just  for  this  one  evening  ;  say  you  love  me, 
whether  you  do  or  not.  No,  don't  take  your  hands 
away  ;  don't  drive  me  from  you.  Be  good  to  me, 
darling !  We  have  been  so  happy  together ;  why 
shouldn't  we  be  together  always  ? " 

Candida  put  her  hand  up  to  her  throat.  She  was 
feeling  as  if  two  forces  were  at  war  within  her.  Her 
will,  her  reason  remained  firm  and  inflexible,  but  her 
senses  were  in  open  rebellion,  were  fighting  wildly  for 
freedom.  Even  her  nerves  and  muscles  seemed  to 
be  in  league  with  the  enemy,  for  her  arms  were 
struggling  to  throw  themselves  around  the  petitioner 
at  her  side,  and  her  fingers  were  tingling  to  twine 
themselves  in  his.  A  sudden  sensation  of  intense 
languor  overcame  her ;  she  felt  an  almost  irresistible 
impulse  to  lay  her  head  upon  her  lover's  shoulder, 
and  shed  tears  of  sheer  exhaustion.  In  mortal  terror 
lest  her  will  should  give  way  beneath  the  strain,  she 
stood  stiffly  upright,  and  forced  herself  to  speak. 

"Pray  don't  talk  like  that,"  she  said,  trying  to 
speak  naturally.  "This  is  all  a  mistake,  a  delusion. 
We  are  friends  and  comrades,  nothing  more ;  it  is 
absurd  to  suppose  that  we  ever  could  be  more.  You 
are  not  yourself  to-night ;  you  have  been  carried  away 


114  THE  CAREER   OF   CANDIDA. 

by  some  passing  fancy.  To-morrow  you  will  be 
ready  to  laugh  at  yourself  for  thinking  that  we  were 
suited  to  each  other ;  you  will  realize  that  you  would 
tire  of  me  in  a  month.  Then  you  will  thank  me  for 
not  having  taken  you  au  sh'ieux,  and  we  shall  soon 
be  as  good  friends  as  ever." 

"  Now  you  are  cruel,"  broke  in  Adrian,  vehemently. 
"I  did  not  think  you  could  be  so  hard,  so  untrue  to 
yourself  and  me.  Why,  ever  since  I  have  known  you, 
you  have  been  the  only  woman  in  the  world  for  me ; 
the  others  have  all  seemed  like  mere  shadows  by  the 
side  of  you.  And  how  dare  you  say  that  we  are  not 
suited  to  each  other,  that  I  should  tire  of  you  in  a 
month  1  You  won't  let  your  own  heart  speak,  and 
you  stop  your  ears  against  the  pleadings  of  mine. 
Yet  I  believe,"  he  went  on  in  softer  tones,  "  I  feel — 
yes,  I  know — that  you  are  beginning  to  love  me.  You 
told  me  so  yourself  when  you  were  silent ;  it  is  only 
your  lips  that  deny  it.  I  thought  you  prided  yourself 
on  your  honesty  1  Oh,  my  dearest,  why  won't  you 
tell  me  the  truth  ?  Why  won't  you  say  you  love  me  } 
I  am  so  tired  of  being  alone,  and  so  hungry  for  love." 

His  voice  broke,  and  Candida  perceived,  with  a 
great  pang  at  her  heart,  that  the  tears  were  standing 
in  his  dark  eyes.  He  had  come  so  close  to  her  that 
she  could  feel  his  breath  upon  her  cheek;  but  she 
was  unable  to  move,  though  she  knew  that  his  arm 
was  stealing  gently  round  her.  She  made  no  effort 
to  free  herself,  though  as  she  noticed  his  dawning 


THE   CAREER   OF  CANDIDA.  115 

smile  of  triumph  she  longed  to  strike  him  on  the 
mouth.  But  instead  she  closed  her  eyes,  and  was 
conscious  that  for  a  moment  their  lips  met.  Then, 
as  though  the  spell  were  broken,  she  tore  herself 
away  from  him,  and  sprang  to  the  other  side  of  the 
toom. 

"  Oh,  what  are  we  doing  ? "  she  cried,  putting  her 
hands  to  her  head.  "  What  must  you  think  of  me  ? 
I  suppose  this  is  all  my  fault.  I  do  beg  your  pardon 
for  letting  you  kiss  me ;  but  indeed  I  didn't  intend 
to.  I  must  have  been  mad.  I  don't  want  to  hurt 
you,  but  you  mustn't  think  that  I  love  you,  or  can 
ever  marry  you.  I  know  I've  behaved  very  badly, 
but  I  hope  you'll  forgive  me  in  time." 

There  was  no  mistaking  the  sincerity  of  her  tone, 
and  the  triumphant  lover  of  a  moment  before  was 
instantly  sobered. 

"  Do  you  mean  that } "  he  asked,  looking  as  though 
he  could  scarcely  believe  his  ears.  "You  have  been 
leading  me  on  like  any  society  coquette,  encourag- 
ing me  to  make  a  fool  of  myself,  and  now  you  turn 
round  and  say  you  did  not  mean  anything — you  were 
only  playing  with  me ! " 

"  No,  no,  I  wasn't  playing ;  I  don't  know  what  I 
was  doing,"  cried  Candida  in  an  agony  of  remorse. 
"  I  only  know  that  I  have  always  liked  you  very 
much,  and  enjoyed  laughing  and  talking  to  you ; 
but  that  is  not  love.  So,  though  I  shall  miss  you 
very  much,  I  think  we  ought  not  to  meet  for  some 


ii6  THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA. 

time,  not  until  you  have  forgotten  all  this  folly,  and 
can  look  upon  me  as  a  friend  again." 

"If  you  send  me  away  from  you  like  this,"  said 
Adrian,  white  with  anger  and  wounded  vanity,  "I 
shall  never  come  back  again.  You  may  call  my  love 
folly,  but  it  is  serious  enough  to  me;  and,  though  I 
may  be  only  good  to  laugh  and  talk  with,  I  can  suffer 
as  much  as  any  of  your  solemn  prigs.  Good-bye," 
he  added,  with  a  sudden  change  of  tone.  "  I  dare 
say  you  are  quite  right  to  send  me  about  my  busi- 
ness. Don't  make  yourself  unhappy  about  me.  I 
was  a  presumptuous  ass  to  think  you  could  ever 
care  for  me." 

In  another  moment  he  was  gone,  and  Candida 
drew  a  deep  sigh  of  relief  as  she  heard  the  front  door 
bang ;  yet  mingled  with  her  relief  was  a  faint  dull 
sense  of  disappointment.  The  victory  was  hers,  but 
it  was  the  type  of  victory  that  is  only  less  disastrous 
than  defeat.  She  had  been  obliged  to  hold  her  heart 
in  both  hands,  and  even  then  she  had  felt  it  slipping, 
through  her  fingers.  With  a  keen  sense  of  humiliation 
she  recalled  her  momentary  surrender.  How  could 
it  have  happened .?  she  asked  herself  again  and  again, 
for  all  the  while  her  will  had  never  wavered,  and  the 
voice  of  reason  had  argued  so  convincingly  against 
the  pleadings  of  her  lover. 

And  now  another  new  and  unwelcome  experience 
befell  her.  Instead  of  falling,  almost  as  soon  as  her 
head  touched  the  pillow,  into  an  untroubled,  dreamless 


THE  CAREER  OF  CANDIDA.  X17 

sleep,  she  tossed  restlessly  to  and  fro  during  wakeful, 
feverish  hours,  tormented  by  conflicting  thoughts  and 
desires,  with  now  and  again  a  lapse  into  unconscious- 
ness, from  which  she  awoke  with  the  sensation  of  a 
touch  upon  her  lips,  and  the  close  pressure  of  arms 
about  her  waist.  And  each  awaking  to  reality  was 
accompanied  by  some  feeling  that  strangely  resembled 
loss  and  disillusionment.  When  morning  came  her 
eyes  were  sore,  her  head  aching,  her  whole  frame 
exhausted  and  unstrung.  Yet  she  rejoiced  to  see  the 
dawn,  for  now  she  could  throw  off  the  harassing  visions 
of  the  night,  and  find  forgetfulness  in  her  work. 

Her  work !  The  very  thought  of  it  filled  her  with 
fresh  courage  and  vigour.  How  she  pitied  other 
girls  who  were  forced  to  eat  out  their  hearts  in 
idleness,  to  dance  and  dress  and  smile  and  chatter, 
hiding  their  haggard  looks  beneath  "face  joy,"  the 
costliest  mask  that  women  wear.  For  herself,  she 
felt  convinced  that  her  peace  of  mind  would  soon  be 
regained.  She  had  been  incredibly  weak  and  foolish, 
but  at  last  she  had  perceived  the  precipice  to  whose 
brink  she  had  strayed,  and  she  had  drawn  back  in 
time.  She  would  look  back  upon  this  little  incident 
in  later  days  as  one  of  the  lessons  of  life — a  valuable 
experience,  no  doubt,  but  still  a  thing  apart,  a  mere 
episode,  certainly  not  "  her  whole  existence." 


CHAPTER    XI. 

In  spite  of  all  her  courage  and  determination,  in  spite 
of  all  her  resources  in  the  shape  of  work  and  study, 
Candida  was  no  less  surprised  than  annoyed  at  the 
sense  of  blank  and  loneliness  which  the  loss  of  her 
late  constant  companion  left  in  her  life.  Before  she 
had  known  him  solitude  had  possessed  no  terrors  for 
her ;  as  long  as  she  was  seeing  him  continually  she 
had  not  consciously  set  a  high  value  upon  his  society. 
But  now,  as  she  recognized  with  self-contempt,  her 
egoism  or  her  vanity  hungered  for  the  subtle  flattery 
with  which  he  alone  had  fed  it.  She  missed  the 
admiring  eyes,  the  sympathetic  manners,  the.  boyish 
confidences,  the  light-hearted  irresponsible  talk  and 
laughter  to  which  she  had  become  accustomed 
during  the  past  few  months.  Books  seemed  for 
the  time  being  to  have  lost  their  savour,  and  the 
visits  to  concerts  or  theatres,  which  when  shared 
had  been  so  full  of  interest  and  enjoyment,  now 
appeared  insufferably  dull  and  tiresome.  Memories 
of  that   brief  period  of  bright  companionship   were 


THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA.  119 

associated  with  certain  of  the  streets,  the  raihvay 
stations  and  the  shops.  At  that  corner  of  Oxford 
Street  Adrian  had  bought  her  a  bunch  of  violets, 
paying  double  the  price  demanded  for  it.  Although 
the  flower-girl  had  deserted  the  spot,  the  perfume  of 
violets  lingered  about  it  still.  At  this  confectioner's 
in  the  Strand  they  had  more  than  once  had  tea 
together.  Why  should  it  seem  so  different  from  all 
other  shops  ? 

There  were  moments  when  she  felt  almost  irresistibly 
impelled  to  write  to  him,  and  beg  him  to  come  back 
upon  the  old  terms  ;  moments  when  some  invisible 
power  seemed  to  be  drawing  her  feet  towards  the 
neighbourhood  in  which  he  lodged,  or  the  streets 
through  which  he  walked  on  his  way  home  from  the 
office  ;  moments  when  the  sight  of  a  handsome,  pale- 
faced,  dark-eyed  youth  advancing  towards  her  sent 
the  blood  to  her  cheek,  and  made  all  her  pulses 
throb. 

How  absurd  it  all  was,  she  would  tell  herself 
angrily,  for  in  spite  of  these  suspicious  symptoms  she 
was  not  in  love  with  Adrian  ;  certainly  she  had  no 
desire  to  marry  him.  She  was  convinced  that  he  was 
thoroughly  unsuited  to  domestic  life ;  the  very  idea 
of  him  in  the  role  of  householder  and  paterfamilias 
was  hopelessly  ludicrous.  No,  he  was  an  agreeable 
companion  and  fair-weather  friend,  but  not  a  man  in 
whom  it  was  possible  to  place  implicit  confidence, 
certainly  not  a  mate  for  life. 


I20  THE  CAREER   OF   CANDIDA. 

As  the  weeks  passed  on,  the  feeling  of  loss  and 
loneliness  began  gradually  to  fade  away.  The  holidays 
were  drawing  near,  and  she  looked  forward  eagerly  to 
the  summer  months  that  would  be  spent  among  her 
own  people  in  her  own  home.  She  would  have  her 
father  for  a  companion  there,  to  say  nothing  of  Ted 
Ferrars,  who  was  by  no  means  to  be  despised.  She 
had  seen  very  little  of  Ted  for  some  time  past ;  when 
he  was  not  on  circuit,  he  was  working  so  hard  in  town 
that  he  found  it  necessary  to  spend  most  of  his  Sundays 
in  the  country  boating,  or  playing  golf.  She  felt  con- 
vinced that  he  had  long  since  forgotten  his  old  foolish 
fancy  for  herself,  and  now  they  would  be  as  good 
friends  as  ever. 

Her  spirits  began  to  recover  their  former  serenity 
now  that  she  felt  free  and  at  ease  in  her  mind  again. 
Many  girls,  she  reflected  with  self-congratulation,  would 
have  mistaken  her  sensations  for  love,  and  shipwrecked 
their  lives  on  the  rock  of  that  error.  People  were 
so  apt  to  forget  that  there  were  a  thousand  imitations 
of  the  one  and  only  love.  What  she  had  experienced 
had  been  one  of  the  imitations,  a  mere  Brummagem 
article,  from  which  the  plating  had  quickly  worn,  and 
displayed  the  baser  metal  beneath. 

Returning  home  from  her  work  one  June  afternoon, 
Candida  found  a  letter  awaiting  her,  addressed  in  an 
unknown  hand.  The  first  glance  at  its  contents 
destroyed  in  one  blow  the  shelter  of  complacent 
indifference  that  she  had  so  carefully  built  up  for  her 


THE   CAREER  OF   CANDIDA.  121 

perturbed  spirit.  After  the  opening  sentence  the 
words  swam  before  her  eyes,  cind  a  deadly  chill  settled 
upon  her  heart. 

The  letter  was  signed  "Margaret  Sylvester,"  and  the 
writer  stated  that  her  son  Adrian  had  been  dangerously 
ill  from  inflammation  of  the  lungs,  accompanied  by 
severe  nervous  prostration,  brought  on,  it  was  supposed, 
by  overwork  and  exposure.  Although  rather  better, 
he  was  still  so  weak  that  the  doctor  did  not  yet 
consider  him  out  of  danger.  In  his  delirium  Miss 
St.  John's  name  had  been  constantly  on  his  lips,  and 
now  that  he  was  sensible  again,  he  had  begged  that 
she  might  be  asked  to  come  and  see  him,  perhaps 
for  the  last  time. 

"  Exposure  and  overwork  ! "  Candida  could  guess 
what  that  meant.  It  was  her  cruelty  that  had  driven 
him  to  recklessness  and  despair.  She  had  been  so 
anxious  to  save  her  own  soul,  to  guard  her  own 
happiness,  that  she  had  spared  no  thought  for  him. 
Poor  fellow,  what  had  she  done  to  him .?  Even  now 
he  might  die,  and  then  she  would  have  murdered  him. 
A  flood  of  pity  and  tenderness  filled  her  heart  as  she 
remembered  his  bright  boyish  ways,  his  light-hearted 
laugh,  his  absolute  devotion  to  herself.  And  now  to 
think  of  him  lying  there,  pale  and  weak  and  wasted 
by  sickness,  all  for  love  of  her.  It  was  like  an  epi- 
sode out  of  some  ancient  tale  of  chivalric  romance. 
If  he  were  ready  to  die  for  her,  surely  the  least 
she  could  do  would  be  to  live  for  him.     No  one  had 


122  THE  CAREER  OF   CANDIDA. 

ever  loved  her  as  he  did ;  probably  no  one  ever 
would  again. 

While  these  thoughts  passed  through  her  mind  she 
was  already  on  her  way  to  Doughty  Street,  where 
Adrian  lodged.  Presently,  as  though  in  a  sort  of 
dream,  she  found  herself  being  received  by  a  little 
grey-haired  lady  with  a  soft  voice  and  anxious  expres- 
sion, and  ushered  into  a  room  where  lay  a  pale, 
hollow-cheeked  youth,  who  gazed  at  her  wistfully  out 
of  sunken  eyes, 

"  Have  you  really  come  ? "  he  murmured  feebly,  "  or 
have  I  got  the  fever  again  ?  I  have  seen  you  every 
night  since  I  was  ill,  but  you  never  spoke,  and  always 
melted  away  when  I  tried  to  touch  you.  Is  it  really 
you  .? " 

"  Yes,  it  is  really  I,"  she  said,  kneeling  down  beside 
the  bed,  and  taking  his  thin  hand  in  hers.  "  I'm  not 
going  to  melt  away  this  time.  My  poor  boy,  what 
have  you  been  doing  to  yourself?  Why  didn't  you 
let  me  know  that  you  were  ill  before } " 

"  I — I  didn't  like  to  bother  you,"  he  returned.  "  I 
didn't  think  that  you  would  care." 

Candida  put  her  mouth  close  to  his  ear. 

"  Was  it  all  my  fault  ? "  she  whispered. 

"No,  no,  you  mustn't  think  that,"  he  answered  in 
the  same  tone.  "  You  couldn't  help  not  caring  about 
me  ;  I  ought  never  to  have  expected  it.  Only,  when 
I  knew  I  had  lost  you,  I  felt  as  if  nothing  really 
mattered,  and  I  went  and  played  the  fool  rather  more 


THE   CAREER  OF   CANDIDA.  123 

than  usual.  I  caught  a  bad  chill  on  the  top  of  it  all, 
and — and  here  I  am.  I've  lost  all  my  muscle  again," 
he  concluded  ruefully. 

"  I  was  a  selfish,  cold-blooded  prig,"  she  said 
remorsefully.  "  I  did  care  about  you  all  the  time. 
At  least,  I  had  begun  to,  but  I  wouldn't  let  myself 
go  on.  I  did  my  best  to  stamp  out  my  tender  feeling 
for  you,  because  I  was  afraid  that  it  would  not  lead 
to  my  own  happiness ;  I  never  gave  a  thought  to 
yours.  Forgive  me,  dear.  Get  better  as  fast  as  you 
can,  and  when  the  holidays  begin  we  will  go  down  to 
Branksmead  together,  and  I  will  nurse  you  back  to 
health  and  strength  again." 

He  looked  up  at  her  with  the  trustful  smile  of  a 
sick  child. 

"  I  can  hardly  believe  my  own  happiness,"  he  said. 
"  I  thought  that  I  had  lost  you,  and  was  going  to  die, 
and  now  you  and  life  have  come  back  to  me  together." 

The  tears  of  weakness  began  to  trickle  down  his 
cheeks,  but  Candida  took  out  her  handkerchief 
and  wiped  them  away.  Then,  not  being  a  woman 
who  did  things  by  halves,  she  bent  down  and  kissed 
him. 

"I  will  come  and  see  you  again  to-morrow,"  she 
said.  "But  I  must  not  stay  longer  now,  or  I  shall 
tire  you  out." 

Mrs.  Sylvester,  who  had  been  waiting  outside  the 
sick-room,  accompanied  her  visitor  down  the  stairs. 

*'  Did  you  think  him  looking  very  ill  ? "  she  asked. 


124  THE  CAREER  OF   CANDIDA. 

There  was  a  flicker  of  interest  and  curiosity  in  her 
sad  eyes  as  they  rested  on  the  stranger's  handsome 
face. 

"  Yes,  but  I  am  sure  he  will  get  better  very  quickly 
now,"  answered  Candida.  "And  then  he  must  have 
a  long  holiday  in  the  country.  You  won't  mind  my 
coming  to  see  him  again  to-morrow,  will  you  ? " 

"  Mind  ! "  repeated  the  other.  "  Why,  it  will  do  him 
more  good  than  all  the  doctors  in  London.  Of  course, 
it's  easy  to  see  that  he  worships  the  ground  you  walk 
on.  Poor  boy !  all  he  wants  is  some  nice  girl  to  care 
for  him,  and  take  an  interest  in  him.  They  say  that 
good  sons  make  good  husbands,  and  though  Adrian 
may  have  his  faults,  he  has  been  the  best  of  sons  to 
me,  always  kind  and  thoughtful  and  considerate." 

Candida,  in  considerable  embarrassment,  stammered 
that  she  was  delighted  to  hear  it,  and  then  hastily 
made  her  escape. 

Thanks  to  the  new  hope  and  happiness  that  had 
come  into  his  life,  the  invalid  made  rapid  progress, 
and  by  the  time  the  holidays  began,  though  still  weak, 
he  was  able  to  travel  down  to  Branksmead,  escorted 
by  Candida,  who  had  received  her  father's  permission 
to  bring  an  invalid  friend.  Leaning  upon  her  arm, 
Adrian  entered  the  hall,  where  he  was  taken  possession 
of  by  Mrs.  St.  John  and  her  sister-in-law,  whose  hearts 
were  instantly  won  by  his  good  looks  and  evident 
delicacy. 

During   the   first   few  days  of  his  stay  the  guest 


THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA.  125 

was  regarded  in  all  good  faith  as  an  interesting 
young  proteg^  of  Candida's,  and  she  herself  was  not 
quite  clear  as  to  what  really  were  the  relations  that 
existed  between  them,  until,  as  Adrian's  strength 
returned,  he  gave  her  to  understand  both  by  words 
and  looks  that  he  depended  upon  her  keeping  the 
compact  that  had  been  implied  rather  than  spoken 
by  his  bedside.  He  evidently  regarded  himself  as 
her  accepted  lover,  and  though  she  had  her  fears 
as  to  the  future  which  might  be  in  store  for  her 
as  his  wife,  she  was  unable,  and  indeed  unwilling, 
to  draw  back  from  the  position  which  she  had 
taken  up. 

It  was  not  long  before  Mr.  St.  John  began  to  have 
his  doubts  as  to  the  disinterestedness  of  his  daughter's 
conduct.  He  had  intercepted  stolen  glances  which 
roused  his  suspicions,  and  overheard  half-uttered  words 
which  went  near  to  confirming  them  ;  for  during  those 
long  sunny  days  the  undeclared  lovers  were  going 
through  a  second  period  of  courtship,  and  were  apt  to 
forget  that  they  were  not  the  only  inhabitants  of  their 
summer  paradise. 

"  That  young  friend  of  yours  is  a  very  pretty  fellow," 
remarked  the  squire  one  day,  when  he  found  himself 
alone  with  his  daughter.  "  He  has  pretty  manners, 
too,  and  a  pretty  touch  on  the  piano.  He  reminds 
me  of  an  Arcadian  shepherd  who  has  strayed  to  town, 
and  exchanged  some  of  his  Arcadian  simplicity  for 
the  customs  of  the  city.  Those  premature  crowsfeet 
9 


126  THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA. 

contrast  so  oddly  with  his  boyish  air  and  otherwise 
youthful  appearance." 

"  He  is  not  really  so  very  juvenile,"  said  Candida, 
looking  rather  disturbed.  "  I  think  he  is  nearly  thirty, 
but  people  always  fancy  that  he  is  much  younger 
than  his  years." 

"A  sign  of  an  irresponsible  nature,"  observed  her 
father.  "  I  wonder  whether  the  shakiness  of  his  hand  is 
due  entirely  to  his  late  illness  }  He  seems  thoroughly 
to  appreciate  your  grandfather's  old  Madeira." 

His  daughter  turned  on  him  indignantly. 

"  Do  you  grudge  it  to  him  } "  she  demanded.  "  I 
brought  him  here,  weak  and  ill  as  he  was,  because  I 
thought  that  he  would  meet  with  kindness  and 
welcome.  I  would  never  have  done  so  if  I  had  known 
that  he  would  be  grudged  food  and  drink,  and  that 
his  weakness  would  only  be  laughed  at." 

"  My  dear  girl,  what  is  all  this  about  ? "  asked  the 
squire,  in  amazement.  "  I  grudge  your  young  friend 
nothing,  not  even  the  Madeira.  But  apparently  you 
object  to  my  criticizing  him,  even  in  fun.  Is  he  copy- 
right, or  have  you  taken  out  a  patent  for  him  ? " 

"  I  don't  like  you  to  laugh  at  him,"  replied  Candida, 
turning  aside  her  head.     "  It — it  hurts  me." 

"  And  pray  why  should  it  do  that  ?  What  possible 
interest  can  you  feel  in  this  agreeable  youth  beyond 
that  of  friendly  kindness  } " 

"  That's  just  what  I  have  been  wanting  to  tell  you, 
only  it  seemed  impossible  as  long   as  nothing  was 


THE   CAREER  OF  CANDIDA.  127 

definitely  settled.     I  have  agreed  to  marry  him  if  he 
still  wishes  it  when  he  is  quite  strong  again." 

Her  father  threw  up  his  hands  with  a  gesture  of 
despair,  and  strode  to  the  other  end  of  the  room  with- 
out a  word. 

"  It's  all  over  with  you,"  he  said  at  length,  coming 
back  and  standing  in  front  of  her.  "  It's  all  over  with 
you  if  you  adhere  to  that  decision.  You  poor  dear 
simpleton,  you  great  stupid  baby,  do  you  know  what 
you  are  doing  ?  You,  whom  I  have  hitherto  regarded 
as  a  girl  of  some  sense  and  judgment,  you  contemplate 
throwing  yourself  away  on  this  dissipated  young 
whippersnapper,  who  is  a  mere  bundle  of  nerves  and 
emotions,  who  would  tire  of  you  or  any  woman  in 
three  months,  who  is  in  a  fair  way  to  wear  himself 
out  before  he  is  forty!  You  are  not  in  the  habit  of 
joking,  but  I  hope  that  for  once  you  are  amusing 
yourself  at  my  expense." 

"  No,  I  am  perfectly  serious,"  replied  his  daughter. 
"  But  I  can  thoroughly  enter  into  your  feelings  on  the 
subject,  because  I  felt  very  much  the  same  myself  only 
a  few  weeks  ago.  I  cannot  explain  all  the  reasons  that 
have  made  me  change  my  mind — probably  you  would 
not  understand  them  if  I  did — but  the  conclusion  of  the 
whole  matter  is  that  Adrian  loves  me,  and  thinks, 
rightly  or  wrongly,  that  his  happiness  and  well-being 
depend  on  me  ;  and  that  I — well,  I  suppose  that  I  love 
him  too,  for  I  only  desire  to  be  good  to  him,  and 
make  him  happy." 


128  THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA. 

"  Love !  "  cried  her  father,  contemptuously.  "  I 
don't  believe  you  know  the  meaning  of  the  word. 
You  are  carried  away  by  a  passing  fancy  for  the  beatix 
yeux  of  this  young  puppy,  just  as  a  man  is  often 
possessed  by  a  temporary  infatuation  for  a  pretty 
face,  and  you,  no  more  than  he,  pause  to  ask  if 
there  is  anything  behind  it.  If  you  marry  this  grown- 
up boy,  what,  in  heaven's  name,  is  to  become  of  you 
when  your  youth  and  his  are  past  ?  How  can  you 
settle  down  as  companions  for  life  when  you  have 
scarcely  an  idea  or  an  interest  in  common  ?  It  is  bad 
enough  for  an  intelligent  man  to  be  tied  to  a  pretty 
face  with  nothing  behind  it,  but  it  is  infinitely  worse 
for  a  woman,  more  particularly  a  woman  like  you." 

"I  think  you  are  unjust  to  Adrian,"  said  Candida, 
keeping  her  temper  by  a  strong  effort.  "  He  rriay 
not  be  exactly  intellectual,  but  he  is  quick  and 
intelligent,  and  has  a  natural  taste  for  art.  One 
doesn't  marry  a  man  in  order  to  discuss  abstract 
questions  with  him."  She  paused  for  a  moment,  and 
then  went  on  with  a  visible  effort.  "  And  as  for  love, 
you  must  remember  that  love  does  not  always  grow 
up  just  when  and  where  it  ought,  or  depend  altogether 
upon  similarity  of  ideas  and  community  of  tastes. 
All  I  know  is,  that  up  to  within  the  last  few  months 
I  used  to  pass  the  lovers  in  the  streets  and  parks, 
and  wonder  what  magic  it  could  be  that  made  their 
dull,  tired  faces  so  radiant  when  they  were  together, 
and  why  they  looked  so  happy  as  long  as  their  hands 


THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA.  129 

were  clasped,  even  though  they  seldom  exchanged  a 
word.  They  seemed  to  have  learnt  some  wonderful 
secret  to  which  I  had  no  clue.  I  should  have  despised 
them,  perhaps,  if  I  had  not  guessed  that  there  must  be 
something  more  than  mere  sentimental  folly  in  a  phase 
of  mind  through  which,  at  one  time  or  another,  the 
whole  of  humanity  seems  to  pass.  I  have  learnt  their 
secret  now.  What  right  have  I  to  refuse  myself  to 
the  man  who  has  opened  my  eyes  to  the  greatest 
mystery  of  life,  more  especially  when  that  man  claims 
my  help,  looks  to  me  for  strength  and  support.^" 

"  What  right  have  you  to  wreck  your  own  happiness 
by  throwing  yourself  away  upon  a  man  who  is  un- 
worthy of  you  ? " 

"  Happiness  1 "  cried  Candida,  in  supreme  contempt. 
"There  is  no  such  thing  as  happiness,  permanent 
happiness,  except  for  children  and  fools.  No  grown- 
up thinking  person  ever  achieves  happiness,  least 
of  all  a  woman.  The  people  who  come  nearest  to 
happiness  are  those  who  do  their  best  to  throw  it 
away,  the  women  who  devote  their  lives  to  the  sick 
and  the  sorry,  the  outcast  and  despised.  Nobody 
thinks  them  foolish  or  misguided,  though  they  are 
only  actuated  by  an  impersonal  desire  to  help  their 
fellows,  and  be  of  use  in  their  generation.  Why 
should  not  I  devote  myself  to  the  man  I  love,  without 
considering  the  possible  risk  to  my  own  happiness  ? " 

"  Because  marriage,  unlike  philanthropy,  cannot  be 
renounced  if  you  find  it  a  failure.     However.  I  have 


I30  THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA. 

neither  the  right  nor  the  power  to  coerce  you  in  this 
matter.  I  have  always  held  that  men  and  women 
should  be  free  to  follow  their  own  inclinations  in 
marriage,  and  that  their  parents  and  guardians  should 
refrain  from  all  interference  ;  but  it  is  sometimes  very 
hard  to  act  up  to  one's  theories.  I  will  take  an 
early  opportunity  of  having  a  confidential  talk  with 
this — with  your — with  Mr.  Sylvester,  and  perhaps  I 
may  find  that  I  have  taken  too  gloomy  a  view  of 
himself  and  his  circumstances." 

"I  don't  think  you  will,"  said  Candida,  frankly. 
"I  doubt  if  a  more  unsatisfactory  match  could  be 
found  from  the  common-sense  point  of  view.  Dear 
father,  I  am  so  sorry  to  be  such  a  disappointment  to 
you,  after  all  the  trouble  you  have  taken  about  me. 
Don't  think  I  can  ever  forget  how  much  I  owe  you. 
I  may  make  shipwreck  of  my  life,  but,  thanks  to  you, 
I  shall  always  be  able  to  build  a  raft 


CHAPTER  XII. 

Shortly  after  Candida's  engagement  was  made 
known  to  her  family,  Ted  Ferrars  arrived  at  the 
Vicarage.  Ted  already  had  his  suspicions  that  some- 
thing was  going  wrong  with  his  course  of  true  love, 
and  now  those  suspicions  were  only  too  thoroughly 
confirmed.  While  he  had  been  working  early  and 
late  with  the  object  of  providing  a  home  at  no  very 
distant  date  for  the  girl  he  loved,  working  so  incessantly 
that  he  could  allow  himself  but  little  of  her  society 
in  the  present,  this  impudent,  worthless,  curly-headed 
puppy  had  stepped  in  and  carried  off  the  prize.  At 
first  he  felt  it  almost  impossible  to  realize  that  the 
chief  object  of  his  life  had  been  destroyed  at  one 
blow,  that  the  reward  which  was  to  crown  all  his 
endeavours,  his  other  self,  whose  image  had  occupied 
his  heart  for  years  past,  whom  he  had  hoped  to  gain 
for  his  own  in  the  years  to  come,  had  been  snatched 
from  him  by  this  stranger,  leaving  him  forlorn  and 
destitute,  without  purpose  in  the  present,  without  hope 
for  the  future.     The  wound  in  his  heart  was  too  deep 


132  THE   CAREER   OF  CANDIDA. 

to  cause  him  as  yet  more  than  a  dull,  though  chronic, 
ache,  but  the  wound  to  his  vanity  pained  him  acutely, 
so  that  it  was  natural  he  should  cast  about  him  for 
some  means  to  heal  the  smart. 

Sabina  had  lately  arrived  at  the  Hall,  and  finding 
herself  occupying  the  unusual  position  of  "odd  woman 
out,"  was  already  in  the  first  throes  of  depression  and 
ennui.  Candida,  she  thought,  had  behaved  rather 
badly  in  pretending  to  be  indifferent  to  men  and 
marriage,  and  then  throwing  herself  into  the  arms 
of  the  first  good-looking  youth  who  had  made  love  to 
her.  It  was  very  hard,  she  complained,  to  have  to 
give  up  her  friend  and  housemate  to  a  man  who  was 
so  obviously  unworthy  of  her ;  she  had  really  never 
expected  that  Candida  would  act  with  so  little  sense 
or  discrimination.  Some  of  these  sentiments  she 
confided  to  Ted,  who  received  them  with  approbation, 
and  confessed  to  his  complete  agreement  with  them. 
He  admitted  to  himself  that  he  had  wronged  Sabina 
hitherto  in  regarding  her  as  a  silly,  empty-headed  little 
flirt,  for  she  really  seemed  to  have  a  good  deal  of 
sense  and  a  very  just  perception  of  character.  He 
had  never  before  realized  the  unusual  charm  of  her 
manner,  and  her  beauty  was  undeniable.  Most  fellows 
would  think  themselves  uncommonly  lucky  to  enjoy 
long  uninterrupted  tete-d-tites  with  her.  In  short, 
Sabina's  society,  her  gracious  smiles  and  her  appealing 
glances,  constituted  the  most  healing  treatment  for 
the  wound  that  had  been  dealt  to  his  self-love,  even 


THE   CAREER  OF  CANDIDA.  133 

though  they  had  no  power  to  soothe  or  satisfy  his 
heart. 

Meanwhile,  Mr.  St.  John  had  been  studying  his 
daughter's  ^««^«^  with  closer  attention,  and  on  more 
than  one  occasion  had  succeeded  in  inveigling  the 
young  man,  despite  all  his  efforts  to  escape,  into  the 
study  for  confidential  conversation.  These  interviews 
left  him  no  better  satisfied  than  before  with  the 
prospects  of  the  match. 

"  I  have  been  cross-examining  Mr.  Sylvester  on 
the  subject  of  his  worldly  affairs,"  he  told  his  daughter 
one  day.  "  The  income  upon  which  he  proposes  to 
marry  and  found  a  family  seems  to  be  charmingly 
precarious.  As  far  as  I  can  make  out,  he  has  a 
hundred  or  two  a  year  of  his  own,  and  is  in  partner- 
ship with  some  other  scatter-brained  young  fellow 
as  stockbrokers  or  stock-jobbers,  or  something  of 
the  kind.  Altogether,  he  can  reckon,  he  assures 
me,  upon  an  average  of  seven  or  eight  hundred  a 
year.  What  a  shocking  life  for  an  active  young 
fellow!  He'd  be  much  better  employed  in  chopping 
wood." 

"  I  am  not  in  the  least  afraid  of  poverty,"  said 
Candida.  "We  are  to  live  with  his  mother  at  first, 
because  she  has  a  very  small  income,  and  Adrian 
says  it  will  be  a  help  to  her  to  have  us  to  board  with 
her,  as  he  won't  be  able  to  make  her  an  allowance 
after  he  is  married.  He  is  devoted  to  his  mother, 
and  she  to  him." 


134  THE   CAREER  OF   CANDIDA. 

**  Ma  mhe !  Yes,  a  most  efifective  allusion  on  the 
stage,  or  in  a  French  murder  trial." 

"  Now  you  are  unjust  to  him,"  cried  Candida,  with 
some  warmth.  "Why  should  he  pretend  to  be  fond 
of  his  mother }  Most  young  men  pretend  to  be 
ashamed  of  theirs.  But  the  fact  is,  you  don't  like 
him,  and  so  you  refuse  to  see  any  good  in  him." 

"No,  I  don't  like  him,"  returned  her  father.  "I 
don't  like  his  face,  though  I  admit  that  it  is  absurdly 
handsome,  and  I  don't  like  his  soft  voice  or  his 
pretty  manners.  I  don't  like  the  shakiness  of  his 
hand,  nor  the  lines  round  his  eyes,  nor  the  fact  that 
he  never  looks  at  me  when  I  am  speaking  to  him. 
I  imagine  that  he  has  a  tolerably  intimate  acquaint- 
ance with  life  as  it  is  lived  by  young  men  about  town." 

"  I  don't  suppose  he  has  been  a  saint,"  said  Candida, 
with  a  quick  flush.  "I  know  he  is  weak — perhaps 
he  has  been  wicked  ;  but  in  that  case  he  has  all  the 
more  need  of  pity  and  help." 

"  On  the  same  principle,  I  suppose,  that  charitable 
ladies  assist  the  drunken  loafer  who  flaunts  his  rags 
in  their  faces,  while  the  'deserving  poor'  are  left  to 
look  after  themselves." 

Candida  was  silent  for  a  moment.  She  could 
scarcely  remember  any  subject  upon  which  she  and 
her  father  had  not  been  of  the  same  mind,  and  it  hurt 
her  keenly  that  upon  this,  the  most  important  decision 
of  her  whole  life,  they  should  be  so  completely  at 
variance. 


THE   CAREER  OF  CANDIDA.  135 

"Mother  is  pleased  at  my  engagement,"  she  said 
at  length.  "And  so  is  Aunt  Aggie.  They  were 
afraid  that  I  should  never  marry." 

"And  women  think  a  disastrous  marriage  better 
than  none  at  all,"  he  retorted.  "Well,  I  suppose 
your  mind  is  made  up.  You  are  yet  another 
victim  to  that  foolish  craving  for  self-sacrifice  which 
the  teaching  of  centuries  has  implanted  in  the 
feminine  breast.  But  I  confess  that  I  am  disappointed 
in  you,  Candida.  I  see  that  a  masculine  education 
doesn't  hinder  a  woman  from  making  a  fool  of  her- 
self about  some  man." 

Candida  went  and  knelt  down  beside  his  chair. 

"Dear  father,"  she  said  softly,  "does  a  masculine 
education  ever  hinder  a  man  from  making  a  fool  of 
himself  about  some  woman  ? " 

In  spite  of  Mr.  St.  John's  disapproval,  the  lovers 
were  very  happy  together  during  those  summer  weeks. 
Adrian  A^as  naturally  of  an  ardent  and  susceptible 
disposition,  and  he  honestly  believed  himself  to  be 
in  love  for  the  first  and  last  time.  Candida,  being 
really  a  novice  in  the  tender  passion,  was  almost 
carried  off  her  feet  by  the  adoration  of  which  she 
found  herself  the  object,  and  was  no  less  flattered 
than  bewildered  by  her  lover's  unwillingness  to  let 
her  out  of  his  sight,  and  the  fact  that  he  seemed  to 
have  no  eyes  or  ears  for  any  one  else  as  long  as  she 
was  by  his  side. 

The   date  of  the  marriage  was  a  vexed  question 


136  THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA. 

Mr.  St.  John  wished  it  to  be  put  off  for  a  year,  at 
least,  Adrian  pleaded  that  it  might  take  place  as  soon 
as  possible  after  their  return  to  town,  while  Candida 
herself  desired  to  fix  it  for  a  day  early  in  January, 
in  order  that  she  might  give  her  employer  three 
months'  notice.  Ultimately  her  wishes  were  allowed 
to  prevail,  although  Mr.  St.  John  only  gave  in  on 
condition  that  his  daughter  consented  to  accept  the 
small  allowance  for  dress  and  pocket-money  that  she 
had  hitherto  refused. 

Autumn  came  too  soon  for  each  member  of  the 
party.  Even  Sabina,  who  cared  little  for  the  country, 
had  grown  interested  in  the  task  she  had  set  herself 
of  subjugating  the  unsuspecting  Ted.  Sabina  was  a 
creature  to  whom  friendship  with  a  member  of  the 
opposite  sex  was  a  physical  impossibility.  As  she 
grew  more  intimate  with  the  disconsolate  young 
man,  her  latent  coquetry  awoke,  and  from  sheer  force 
of  habit  she  began  to  put  forth  all  her  wiles  to  lure 
him  into  her  net. 

Ted,  unconscious  of  what  was  happening  to  him, 
became  more  than  ever  convinced  of  Miss  Romney's 
beauty  and  charm,  and  began  to  have  a  dim  suspicion 
that  she  appreciated  his  own  character  and  society. 
Though  she  was  always  ready  to  talk  enthusiastically 
about  Candida,  and  condole  with  him  upon  his 
disappointment,  yet  the  conversation  had  a  curious 
knack  of  coming  round  to  their  own  personalities, 
and    the    peculiar    traits    in    their    characters.      She 


.   THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA.  137 

seemed  such  a  timid,  trustful  little  creature  that  Ted 
was  convinced  that  the  stage  was  a  most  unsuitable 
profession  for  her,  and  decided  that  somebody — he 
did  not  quite  know  whom — ought  to  take  care  of  her, 
and  provide  her  with  all  the  comforts  and  luxuries 
of  life. 

Perhaps  his  feeling  for  her  would  never  have 
advanced  beyond  a  kindly  interest  if  his  cousin  and 
old  schoolmate.  Captain  James  Ferrars,  had  not  come 
to  spend  the  last  fortnight  of  the  holidays  at  the 
Rectory.  Captain  Jim  conceived  a  sudden  and  enthusi- 
astic admiration  for  Miss  Romney,  constituted  himself 
her  shadow,  and  succeeded  in  involving  her  in  one  of 
the  violent  flirtations  for  which  Ted  remembered  that 
he  was  famous  in  his  regiment.  Coarse  brute  !  The 
fact  that  the  poor  child  was  on  the  stage  was  quite 
enough  to  make  him  take  advantage  of  her  innocence, 
and  do  his  best  to  break  her  heart.  But  if  he  had 
any  designs  against  her  peace  of  mind,  he  should  find 
that  he  had  some  one  else  to  reckon  with,  some  one 
who  was  ready  to  play  the  part  of  a  brother  to  her. 
Alas,  for  poor  human  nature!  Sabina's  beauty  and 
fascination  increased  a  thousandfold  in  Ted's  eyes, 
now  that  she  was  monopolized  by  another  man. 

The  day  before  that  on  which  the  party  at  Branks- 
mead  was  to  break  up,  Ted,  having  seen  his  cousin  off 
at  the  station,  went  up  to  the  Kail,  where  he  found 
Sabina  sitting  alone  in  the  garden.  There  was  some- 
thing pensive,  almost  disconsolate,    in   her  attitude. 


138  THE   CAREER  OF   CANDIDA. 

Could  she,  he  wondered,  be  regretting  the  departure 
of  her  late  admirer  ? 

"  I  suppose  you'll  be  delighted  to  turn  your  back 
on  the  country  to-morrow,"  he  said  abruptly,  as  he 
seated  himself  beside  her.  "  This  must  seem  a  fearfully 
dull  hole  to  you,  after  all  the  excitements  of  town." 

"Ah,  you  are  evidently  no  thought-reader,"  she 
answered,  turning  eyes  upon  him  so  softly  bright  that 
he  instantly  repented  himself  of  his  brusquerie.  "  I 
was  just  wishing  that  I  could  have  this  summer  over 
again ;  it  has  been  such  a  happy  time.  I  shall  feel 
so  lonely  when  I  get  back  to  town.  Of  course, 
Candida  will  have  no  time  to  waste  on  me,  and  some- 
how one  sees  so  little  of  one's  real  friends  in  London." 

"  You  will  let  me  come  and  see  you  sometimes } " 
he  put  in.     "  We  are  real  friends  now,  aren't  we  ? " 

"  Oh,  I  hope  so,"  she  said,  dropping  her  eyes. 
"Will  you  come  and  see  me,  even  after  Candida  is 
married  }  I  shall  have  to  chum  up  with  another  girl, 
I  suppose,  and  most  of  them  are  such  cats.  I  shall 
never  find  another  like  her." 

"No,  there  is  nobody  like  her,"  he  agreed,  loyally 
echoing  her  sigh.  "But  I  hope  you  won't  think  me 
impertinent  if  I  say  that  I  wish  you  could  find  an 
older  friend  to  live  with.  You  are  so  much  too — too 
young  and  pretty  to  set  up  with  a  girl  of  your  own 
age.  You  ought  to  have  some  one  to  take  care  of 
you.  You  see,  I  am  giving  myself  the  privileges  of 
an  old  friend." 


THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA.  139 

"  It  is  so  good  of  you  to  care — to  take  any  interest 
in  my  fate,"  she  said,  with  a  pathetic  note  in  her  voice. 
"  It  seems  quite  wonderful  to  me,  because  I  have  had 
no  one  to  take  care  of  me  for  three  years,  no  one  to 
whom  it  mattered  whether  I  were  aHve  or  dead. 
And — and  I  always  thought  you  regarded  me  as  a 
mere  frivolous  little  doll,  quite  unworthy  of  the  friend- 
ship of  any  sensible  man." 

She  smiled  at  him  as  she  spoke,  but  he  fancied 
that  a  tear  was  trembling  on  the  end  of  her  long 
lashes.  It  was  strange  what  magic  power  could  be 
contained  in  one  little  tear-drop  ;  it  seemed  to  scald 
his  heart  and  brain.  A  sudden  longing  came  over 
him  to  seize  her  in  his  arms,  and  kiss  away  that  tear. 
The  next  moment  he  told  himself  that  he  was  a 
brute,  and  pictured  to  himself  the  horror  that  would 
overwhelm  his  gentle  companion  could  she  but  guess 
the  thoughts  and  impulses  that  were  passing  through 
his  mind.  But  he  could  and  would  control  himself. 
He  had  nothing  to  offer  this  poor  pretty  child,  no 
love,  no  home,  and  to  pretend  to  make  love  to  her 
under  those  circumstances  would  be  a  cowardly  insult, 
the  more  so  since  he  knew  that  she  had  no  natural 
protector  to  call  him  to  account. 

With  a  mighty  effort  he  turned  away  his  eyes  from 
the  lovely  mournful  face,  and,  gripping  the  bench  with 
his  would-be  rebel  arms,  answered  in  as  steady  a 
voice  as  he  could  assume — 

"  And  I  always  thought  you  regarded  me  as  a  dull, 


I40  THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA. 

heavy  sort  of  fellow,  quite  beneath  the  notice  of  a 
triumphant  young  beauty.  Perhaps  we  misjudged 
each  other.  Anyway,  please  don't  say  again  that  there 
is  no  one  who  takes  any  interest  in  your  fate,  or  cares 
whether  you  are  alive  or  dead.  That  is  rather  cruel 
to  your  friends,  and  I  can't  allow  it  now  that  I  am 
admitted  among  the  number." 

Sabina  looked  round  at  him  in  surprise.  Long 
practice  in  the  art  of  flirtation,  and  unusual  sensitive- 
ness to  the  mental  temperature  of  her  admirers,  had 
led  her  fully  to  expect  an  avowal  of  some  kind  at 
this  juncture.  That  a  man  should  keep  his  head 
when  she  had  arranged  that  he  should  lose  it,  and 
resist  a  temptation  that  she  had  placed  in  his  way, 
was  so  great  a  novelty  in  her  experience  that  she 
was  startled  into  naturalness  and  sincerity. 

"You  are  very  kind  and  good,"  she  said  frankly. 
"And  it  will  mean  more  to  me  than  you  can  guess 
to  feel  that  I  have  one  real  honest  friend  among  all 
the  indifferent  acquaintances  and  pretended  admirers 
who  only  seek  me  as  long  as  I  can  amuse  them,  and 
who  would  drop  me  to-morrow  if  I  lost  my  looks,  or 
were  ill  and  out  of  spirits.  You  are  different  from 
all  the  others.     I  believe  I  can  trust  you." 

Again  the  desire  to  give  this  dangerously  fascinating 
friend  some  tangible  proof  of  his  regard  swept  over 
the  young  man.  Fearful  lest  he  should  disgrace  him- 
self for  ever  in  her  eyes,  he  sprang  to  his  feet,  and, 
muttering  an  incoherent  hope  that  he  might  be  allowed 


THE  CAREER   OF  CANDIDA.  141 

to  serve  her  should  occasion  ever  arise,  he  sought 
safety  in  flight,  leaving  Sabina  still  seated  on  the 
bench,  with  an  unusually  thoughtful  expression  upon 
her  pretty  face. 

*  •  •  •  « 

The  Piccadilly  Theatre  opened  that  autumn  with 
a  new  "comedy  farce"  which,  it  was  supposed,  would 
appeal    to    all    classes    of   playgoers,    but   which,   as 
events  proved,  was  of  the  kind  that  only  appeals  to 
the  class  that  never  pays  for  its  seats.     The  dead- 
head, who  is  notoriously  hard  to  please,  approved  of 
the   play,   and   attended   regularly,   but   the    paying 
public  stayed   away.     So  it  came  about  that  at  the 
end   of  three  weeks  the   piece,  upon    the   mounting 
of  which  an   unusually  large  sum   had    been    spent, 
was  withdrawn,  and   the   theatre  was   sub-let  to  an 
actor-author-manager  who  was  anxious  to  produce  a 
romantic    drama    of    his    own    composition.       This 
drama,   having   nothing   in   common    with   real   life, 
proved  a  prodigious  success,  being  played  to  crowded 
houses  for  five  hundred  nights.     But,  alas !  there  was 
no  part  in  the  new  piece  for  a  pretty  little  actress  of 
the   soubrette  type,  and   consequently  Sabina  found 
herself  minus  an  engagement  for  the  first  time  in  two 
years. 

Thereon  followed  some  weary  weeks  spent  in  fruit- 
less visits  to  agents  and  managers.     Her  former  good 
luck  had  left  her  quite  unprepared  for  the  difficulties 
which  a  young  and  not  especially  gifted  actress  who 
10 


i4«  THE  CAREER  OF   CANDIDA. 

has  got  "out "  often  finds  in  getting  "  in,"  and  perhaps 
she  was  rather  hard  to  please.  She  objected  to 
boy's  parts,  and  she  absolutely  refused  to  go  into  the 
provinces,  and  she  would  submit  to  no  reduction  of 
salary.  She  wanted  a  berth  made  on  purpose  for 
her,  said  the  agents,  whose  offices  were  daily  besieged 
by  girls  who  could  sing,  act,  and  dance  much  better 
than  Sabina,  and  who  were  willing  to  do  anything 
and  go  anywhere.  So  time  passed  on,  and  still  Miss 
Romney  was  described  as  "resting,"  though  in  point 
of  fact  she  was  employed  in  the  hardest  and  most 
unremunerative  of  all  pursuits,  that  of  seeking  work 
and  finding  none. 

Among  her  friends  and  acquaintances  none  was 
more  interested  in  her  search,  or  sympathized  more 
sincerely  in  her  disappointments,  than  Ted  Ferrars. 
He  called  in  Blake  Street  regularly  once  or  twice 
a  week  at  this  time,  and  as  Candida  was  usually  out 
or  otherwise  engaged,  he  enjoyed  numerous  tSte-d-tetes 
with  Sabina.  The  depression  of  spirits  under  which 
she  now  laboured  harmonized  with  the  tone  of  his 
own  mind  far  better  than  her  former  somewhat  flippant 
gaiety.  He  still  suffered  acutely  from  the  disappoint- 
ment which,  he  fancied,  had  blighted  his  whole 
existence,  and  he  found  his  best  consolation  in  the 
society  of  another  almost  equally  despondent  human 
being. 

Calling  in  Blake  Street  late  one  afternoon,  he 
found  Sabina  crouching  on  the  hearthrug,  the  room 


THE  CAREER  OF   CANDIDA.  143 

only  lighted  by  a  dull-burning  fire.  A  lamp  being 
brought  in  directly  afterwards,  he  perceived  that  her 
eyes  were  pink,  and  that  there  were  traces  of  tears 
still  upon  her  cheeks. 

"Hasn't  the  luck  turned  yet?"  he  asked  kindly. 
"  I  hoped  you  would  have  heard  from  Coulson  before 
this." 

"  No,  I'm  afraid  he's  a  base  deceiver,  like  all  the 
rest,"  answered  Sabina,  turning  her  face  away  from 
the  light.  "I  see  the  rehearsals  have  already  begun 
at  the  Pall  Mall.  I  don't  believe  I  shall  ever  get 
another  engagement.  Can  you  tell  me  which  is  the 
most  luxurious  workhouse  in  London  }  I  should  like 
one  of  those  where  Sundays  out  are  allowed,  and  where 
they  have  dramatic  entertainments  at  Christmas. 
One  is  always  reading  paragraphs  in  the  newspapers 
about  the  way  in  which  the  able-bodied  paupers  are 
pampered." 

"  Ah,  it's  all  very  well  for  you  to  make  light  of  it 
now,"  he  said.  "  That  is  only  to  put  me  off  the  scent. 
You  were  crying  when  I  came  into  the  room." 

"  And  why  shouldn't  I  cry  if  I  Hke  ? "  she  demanded, 
with  sudden  warmth.  "  I  suppose  even  able-bodied 
paupers  are  allowed  the  luxury  of  tears.?  And  I 
wasn't  joking,  either  ;  I  have  only  five  pounds  between 
me  and  the  workhouse.  Of  course,  I  ought  to  have 
saved  ;  Candida  was  always  worrying  me  about  it, 
but  somehow  the  money  slipped  away." 

"Of  course   it  did,"   he  returned  sympathetically. 


144  THE   CAREER  OF   CANDIDA. 

"You  were  never  meant  to  bother  your  head  with 
money,  or  any  such  prosaic  details.  Girls  like  you 
ought  always  to  have  some  one  to  take  care  of  them, 
and  work  for  them,  so  that  they  may  be  left  free  to 
enjoy  all  the  gladness  of  life." 

Sabina  sighed,  but  made  no  answer,  and  for  some 
moments  silence  reigned  between  them.  Ted  thought 
that  he  had  never  seen  her  look  so  soft,  so  sweet,  so 
innocent  as  she  did  at  that  moment,  with  her  ruffled 
hair,  drooping  mouth,  and  eyes  still  misty  with  tears. 
She  was  sad  and  lonely,  like  himself ;  would  it  not  be 
possible  for  them  to  console  each  other }  Though  he 
had  lost  the  woman  who  was  all  the  world  to  him, 
might  he  not  find  comfort  in  the  love  of  another, 
and  win  back  his  own  happiness  by  providing  for  hers  .? 
Certain  it  was  that  his  dreary  purposeless  existence 
had  become  almost  intolerable,  and  the  void  in  his 
heart  was  crying  out  to  be  filled.  He  felt  sure  that 
he  was  not  disagreeable  to  this  girl ;  she  already 
liked  and  trusted  him  as  a  friend,  surely  it  would  not 
be  very  hard  to  win  her.  In  imagination  he  could 
see  her  happy  and  at  peace  in  the  nest  that  he 
would  build  for  her,  loving  him  with  the  blind,  un- 
questioning devotion  that  only  such  women  knew  how 
to  give,  welcoming  him  on  every  home-coming  with 
eyes  that  always  brightened,  and  lips  that  always 
smiled,  and  arms  that  were  always  open  for  him  alone. 
The  image  of  the  comrade-wife  that  had  so  long 
occupied  his  heart   grew   dim   before   the   vision    of 


THE  CAREER  OF  CANDIDA.  145 

this  clinging,  melting,  helpless,  feminine  presence  that 
would  brood  over  his  home,  and  fill  the  dreary  rooms 
with  warmth  and  light. 

"  I  wish — I  wish  that  you  would  let  me  take  care 
of  you  in  future,"  he  murmured.  "  Will  you,  dearest  ? 
Could  you  trust  yourself  to  me  ? " 

He  tried  to  take  her  hand,  but  she  pulled  it 
sharply  away. 

"  You  are  only  saying  that  out  of  pity,"  she  cried. 
"You  don't  love  me  a  bit,  really." 

"  Pity  for  myself,  then,"  he  returned,  seizing  her 
hand  again.  "  Will  you  take  care  of  me  ?  You 
don't  know  how  badly  I  want  it.  I  can't  swear  that 
you  are  my  first  and  only  love,  but  if  you  will  only 
take  me  as  I  am,  and  give  me  a  little  sympathy,  a 
little  tenderness,  I  will  repay  you  with  all  my  devotion 
in  the  years  to  come.  My  only  thought  shall  be  to 
make  you  happy,  to  shield  you  from  all  trouble  and 
sorrow.  Say  you  will  try  and  love  me  a  little — say 
yes,  darling." 

Sabina  was  silent  for  a  moment. 

"  I  wish  I  could — I  wish  I  could,"  she  said  at  length, 
with  a  ring  of  regret  in  her  voice.  "  If  only  it  were 
possible  1 " 

"  But  it  is  possible,"  he  cried,  slipping  his  arm  round 
her  waist  "  You  beautiful  darling,  I  believe  you  do 
care  just  a  little  for  me,  though  I  can't  imagine  why 
you  should.  Do  you — do  you — just  the  least  little 
bit  ?     If  so,  nothing  shall  ever  part  us." 


146  THE   CAREER  OF  CANDIDA. 

For  all  answer  Sabina  suddenly  burst  into  tears, 
and  dropped  her  head  upon  his  shoulder. 

"It  can't  be,"  she  sobbed.  "I  can  never  marry 
you.     I  shall  never  marry  anybody." 

"But,  my  dearest  child,"  he  expostulated,  "you 
must  give  me  some  reason  for  such  a  determination. 
Of  course,  if  you  don't  love  me,  and  think  that  you 
never  will,  that  is  quite  enough  ;  I  should  never  dream 
of  forcing  myself  upon  you.  Tell  me,  is  that  the 
reason  ?  You  don't  like  me,  you  think  me  ugly  and 
stupid  and  tiresome,  and  you  don't  wish  to  be  bothered 
by  me  any  more.  Say  yes,  and  I'll  go  away  at  once, 
and  never  trouble  you  again." 

He  waited  for  an  answer,  .but  Sabina  said  nothing, 
only  sobbed  more  uncontrollably  than  before. 

"You  can't  say  it,"  he  cried  triumphantly,  wiping 
away  her  tears  with  his  pocket-handkerchief^  "  You 
can't  deny  that  I  have  a  little  corner  in  your  heart. 
Look  up,  and  tell  me  that  you  are  going  to  make 
me  very  happy  one  of  these  days." 

But  all  the  answer  he  could  get  from  the  girl  he 
had  thought  so  soft  and  yielding  was — 

"No,  no,  don't  ask  me.  You  don't  know.  It's 
quite  impossible." 

If  Sabina  had  deliberately  set  herself  to  fan  her 
wooer's  first  impulse  of  chivalrous  generosity  into  some- 
thing closely  resembling  genuine  passion,  she  could 
have  chosen  no  better  means  than  this  mingling  of 
regretful  tenderness  and  stubborn  resistance.     Ted's 


THE   CAREER  OF   CANDIDA.  147 

masculine  obstinacy  was  roused,  and  though  he  was 
considerably  puzzled  by  a  decided  rejection  accom- 
panied by  a  tacit  admission  of  regard,  he  concluded 
that  this  was  but  an  exhibition  of  girlish  coyness  or 
timidity,  and  that  he  had  only  to  exercise  a  little  tact 
and  patience  in  order  to  gain  his  ends.  A  ring  at 
the  bell  caused  Sabina  to  spring  from  his  side,  and 
run  to  her  room  before  he  could  obtain  any  explana- 
tion of  her  mysterious  conduct,  but  he  departed  with 
the  inward  determination  of  giving  her  no  peace  until 
she  had  either  promised  to  make  him  happy,  or  else 
convinced  him  that  there  was  some  good  reason  for 
her  refusal. 


CHAPTER  XIII. 

It  must  not  be  supposed  that  Candida  was  too  much 
absorbed  in  her  own  love-affair  to  be  oblivious  of 
the  little  romance  that  was  being  enacted  at  her 
elbow,  nor  can  it  be  asserted  that  she  was  free  from 
all  feeling  of  pique  when  she  perceived  the  ease  and 
rapidity  with  which  a  once-devoted  lover  was  able 
to  transfer  his  affections.  Yet  another  proof,  she 
reflected,  that  men's  hearts  are  tough,  and  their 
wounds  quickly  healed.  She  took  herself  to  task, 
however,  for  this  feeling,  which  was  certainly  of  the 
dog-in-the-manger  order,  since  she  did  not  want  Ted 
for  herself,  and  therefore  had  no  right  to  be  annoyed 
at  the  idea  of  his  marriage  with  another  woman. 
If  he  and  Sabina  really  cared  for  each  other  she 
thought  that  they  would  be  happy  together,  however 
ill-assorted  such  a  union  might  appear  in  the  eyes  of' 
the  world.  Perhaps  she  had  sympathy  with  ill-assorted 
couples  by  reason  of  the  knowledge  that  her  engage- 
ment to  Adrian  was  regarded  by  the  whole  circle  of 
her  acquaintance  as  hopelessly  unsuitable.     So  she 


THE   CAREER  OF  CANDIDA.  149 

resolved  to  do  all  in  her  power  to  help  forward  the 
affair,  which  seemed  to  have  stuck  fast  in  a  rather 
inexplicable  fashion. 

As  time  passed  on,  she  was  surprised  at  receiving 
no  confidences  from  her  friend,  who  was  unusually- 
silent  and  subdued  in  spirit.  Could  Sabina,  she 
wondered,  have  turned  from  Ted's  wooing  in  horror 
and  disgust,  as  she  had  turned  from  that  of  other  men, 
even  when  in  the  first  instance  she  had  seemed  to  be 
attracted  by  them  .? 

Candida  determined  to  sound  her  friend  upon  the 
subject  as  soon  as  a  favourable  opening  occurred. 
This  opening  she  thought  she  had  found  when,  on 
going  into  Sabina's  room  one  night  to  borrow  some 
matches,  she  found  its  occupant  stretched  flat  on  the 
floor,  with  her  face  hidden  in  her  arms.  Candida 
went  and  sat  down  beside  her. 

"Sabina,"  she  said  softly,  "something  has  gone 
wrong.  You  are  in  trouble,  and  it  is  a  more  serious 
matter  than  a  temporary  want  of  employment  Won't 
you  tell  me  what  it's  all  about  ? " 

Sabina  did  not  reply  at  once. 

"  What  is  it  that  they  put  dogs  into  when  they  want 
to  get  rid  of  them  painlessly  ? "  she  asked  at  length, 
in  muffled  tones.  "A  lethal  chamber,  isn't  it?  I 
wish  some  one  would  put  me  into  a  lethal  chamber, 
so  that  I  could  have  done  with  it  all.  I  am  so  tired 
of  being  alive." 

"  Don't  talk  nonsense,"  said  Candida.     "  Come,  tell 


I50  THE   CAREER  OF  CANDIDA. 

me  what  is  wrong  with  you  ;  I  can  guess  a  certain 
amount.  Ted  is  in  love  with  you,  and  you  are  not 
altogether  indifferent  to  him,  but  instead  of  marrying 
him  like  a  sensible  girl,  you  prefer  to  fret  yourself  to 
fiddle-strings  in  solitude,  I  know  you  have  some 
prejudice  against  marriage,  and  I  can  understand  your 
shrinking  where  many  men  are  concerned.  But  Ted 
is  different ;  he  is  kind  and  considerate  and  unselfish  ; 
he  has  all  the  makings  of  an  excellent  husband.  Let 
me  write  to  him  to-morrow,  and  tell  him  that  you 
have  changed  your  mind." 

"  No,  no,"  cried  Sabina,  with  a  shudder,  "  you  don't 
understand.  He  doesn't  know  me.  He  doesn't  really 
love  me  ;  he  only  loves  an  ideal  of  his  own  creation." 

"Well,  we  can  none  of  us  see  into  each  other's 
hearts,"  reasoned  Candida.  "  We  love  or  hate  people, 
not  for  what  they  really  are,  but  for  what  they  appear 
to  us  to  be.  You  have  got  some  strange  fancy  into 
your  head,  or  else — or  else  there  is  a  secret  that  you 
have  been  keeping  from  me — from  us  all." 

There  was  no  answer,  beyond  a  little  moan  of  despair 

"  Won't  you  tell  me  ? "  went  on  Candida,  in  gentler 
tones.  "  Perhaps  I  might  be  able  to  help  you.  You 
know  that  your  secret,  whatever  it  is,  will  be  absolutely 
safe  with  me." 

"I  daren't— I  daren't,"  wailed  Sabina.  "You'd 
despise  me  ;  you'd  never  speak  to  me  again." 

"  Oh,  how  can  you  say  that  ?  Do  you  think  me 
so  hard,  so  self-righteous  ?     Do  trust  me,  dear.     This 


THE   CAREER  OF  CANDIDA.  151 

may  be  only  some  trifle  that  has  been  magnified  by 
your  own  fancy." 

Candida  forced  herself  to  speak  hopefully,  but  a 
vague  fear  was  pressing  like  a  cold  hand  upon  her 
heart. . 

Sabina  suddenly  raised  her  head  from  her  arms, 
and  sat  upright,  a  forlorn  little  figure  with  wan  cheeks 
and  swollen  eyes. 

"Very  well,  then,  I  will  tell  you,"  she  cried  reck- 
lessly. "  I  don't  care  what  happens  afterwards ;  I  can't 
keep  it  to  myself  any  longer.  I'm  not  what  you  think 
me ;  I'm  a  bad  girl.  I've  committed  the  one  un- 
pardonable sin — in  woman.  No  man  would  marry 
me  if  he  knew." 

She  stopped,  and  stared  at  her  friend  with  wide- 
open,  apprehensive  eyes,  as  if  she  expected  a  blow, 
or  a  word  that  would  be  worse  than  a  blow.  But 
Candida  drew  nearer,  and  put  her  arm  round  the 
little  shrinking  figure. 

"  I  have  lived  with  you  for  three  years,  and  I  know 
you  are  not  a  bad  girl,"  she  said.  "And  I  don't 
believe  in  unpardonable  sins.  If  it  won't  hurt  you, 
will  you  tell  me  what  you  mean }  I  suspect  that  life 
has  been  harder  for  you  than  I  ever  guessed." 

"I'm  afraid  you  don't  understand,  even  now,"  said 
Sabina,  mournfully.  "  I  had  better  tell  you  the  whole 
story.  You  remember  what  I  told  you  about  my 
childhood,  how  my  father  deserted  us,  and  my  mother 
slaved  to  support  herself  and  me." 


152  THE   CAREER  OF  CANDIDA. 

"Yes,  yes,"  put  in  Candida,  as  her  friend  paused 
again. 

"  Well,  when  I  was  sixteen  she  fell  ill ;  I  believe 
it  was  a  break-down  from  overwork,  bad  food, 
and  anxiety.  I  had  obtained  my  first  engagement 
a  few  months  before ;  it  was  only  a  walk-on  at  a 
pound  a  week,  but  it  meant  a  lot  to  us.  Just  when 
my  mother  was  at  her  worst,  the  piece  was  taken  off, 
and  I  was  told  that  I  shouldn't  be  wanted  for  the 
next  one.  The  morning  that  I  got  my  dismissal 
the  doctor  had  told  me  that  unless  my  mother  had 
plenty  of  good  food,  and  were  kept  free  from  all 
worry,  she  could  not  possibly  recover." 

"  Oh,  you  poor  child ! "  cried  Candida.  "  What  did 
you  do  ? " 

"  I  was  nearly  frantic.  I  adored  my  mother.  I 
think  we  were  more  to  each  other  than  most  mothers 
and  daughters,  because  we  had  gone  through  so  much 
together,  and  we  were  so  entirely  alone  in  the  world. 
Of  course,  I  dared  not  tell  her  about  my  dismissal. 
I  took  my  courage  in  both  hands,  and  went  to  the 
manager.  I  was  horribly  afraid  of  him,  though  he 
had  always  been  rather  kind  to  me ;  but  there  was 
something  about  him  that  terrified  and  revolted  me. 
He  was  a  stout,  black-bearded  man,  with  protruding 
eyes  and  a  double  chin — a  Jew,  they  said.  I  had 
always  tried  to  keep  out  of  his  way  before,  but  now 
I  went  to  him,  and  told  him  all  our  troubles,  and 
implored  him  to  find  me  something  to  do  in  the  next 


THE   CAREER  OF  CANDIDA.  153 

piece.  He  listened  to  me  in  silence,  staring  hard  at 
me  all  the  time  out  of  his  dreadful  eyes,  and  when 
I  had  finished,  he  spoke  kindly  to  me,  and  said  he 
would  think  it  over,  and  that  I  was  to  come  and  see 
him  again  the  next  morning.  I  went  away  full  of 
hope,  and  the  next  day  he  told  me  that  there  was 
a  little  part  in  the  new  piece  which  he  thought  I 
could  play,  and  though  he  had  half  promised  it  to 
another  girl,  he  felt  rather  inclined  to  give  it  to  me. 
The  salary,  he  said,  would  be  two  guineas  a  week. 
Oh,  Candida,  I  felt  as  if  I  were  in  heaven  ;  I  thought 
he  looked  like  an  angel.  I  could  have  gone  down 
on  my  knees  and  kissed  his  feet.  He  said  at  last 
that  he  would  give  me  the  part  on  one  condition,  and 
then — then  he  told  me  the  condition." 

Her  voice  suddenly  failed,  and  a  spasm  passed 
over  her  face.  Candida  clasped  the  trembling  form 
more  closely  in  her  arms. 

"  He  said  I  needn't  make  up  my  mind  at  once  ; 
that  I  could  take  a  day  or  two  to  think  it  over,"  went 
on  Sabina.  "When  I  left  him,  I  went  round  to  all 
the  agents  and  managers  where  I  thought  I  should 
have  the  ghost  of  a  chance,  but  I  could  hear  of 
nothing.  The  next  day  the  doctor  said  my  mother 
must  have  port  wine  and  turtle  soup  and  jelly  and 
grapes.  Unless  her  strength  were  kept  up,  he  said 
she  had  scarcely  a  chance  of  recovery," 

There  was  another  halt.  Sabina  dropped  her  head 
on  her  arms  again. 


154  THE  CAREER  OF  CANDIDA. 

"  She  had  the  port  wine  and  things,"  she  muttered. 
"And  she  got  better,  and  lived  three  years  longer," 

Candida  drew  a  long  breath,  and  then  burst  into 
tears. 

"  You  poor  darling,"  she  cried  passionately,  "  how  I 
have  misjudged  you  !  How  you  must  have  suffered  ! 
I  have  sometimes  thought  you  were  hard  and  cynical ; 
I  never  guessed  that  you  were  unhappy.  Why  didn't 
you  tell  me  before  ?  I  would  have  been  so  much 
kinder  to  you  ;  I  would  have  tried  to  make  up  to 
you  a  little  for  all  the  martyrdom  you  have  endured." 
"  I  thought  you  would  never  speak  to  me  again  ; 
that  you  would  utterly  despise  me,"  answered  Sabina, 
looking  up  in  surprise,  as  though  she  could  hardly 
believe  her  ears.  "  If  you  were  like  most  good  women 
you  wouldn't  have  anything  more  to  do  with  me." 

"  No,  no,"  exclaimed  Candida.  "  No  woman  worthy 
of  the  name  is  hard  upon  a  sister.  If  she  appears 
to  be  so,  it  is  because  she  is  coerced  by  some  man — 
father,  brother,  or  husband." 

She  stopped  abruptly,  for  her  words  had  brought 
a  new  thought  into  her  mind.  Sabina  seemed  to  be 
struck  by  the  same  idea. 

"  Yes,  men  are  always  hard  upon  women,"  she  said. 
"  That's  why  I  refused  to  marry  Ted.  I  never  wanted 
to  marry  any  one  else,  though  I  used  to  flirt  with 
them ;  but  all  the  others  seemed  so  horrible  and 
repulsive  as  soon  as  they  began  to  make  love  to  me. 
But   Ted  never  had  that  dreadful  wild-beast  look ; 


THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA.  155 

he  seemed  to  think  more  of  me  than  of  himself,  and 
to  wish  to  respect  me.  As  you  said  just  now,  he 
was  always  gentle  and  considerate,  even  when  he  was 
making  love  to  me.  Of  course,  I  might  have  held 
my  tongue  and  married  him,  but,  though  I  know 
I'm  very  wicked,  I'm  not  bad  enough  for  that." 

"  You  are  not  wicked ;  you  have  only  been  the 
victim  of  wickedness,"  said  Candida.    "  But  Ted " 

She  could  not  finish  her  sentence.  What  would  Ted 
say  if  he  knew  all  ?  That  was  a  question  which  she 
could  not  solve  with  any  certainty,  though  she  felt  that 
there  ought  to  be  only  one  answer.  Surely  no  man 
who  professed  to  love  her  would  turn  from  this  poor 
little  victim  who  had  been  sacrificed  on  the  altar  of 
filial  love,  would  not  be  ready  and  anxious  to  console 
her  for  the  misery  of  the  past,  to  shield  her  from  all 
sorrow  in  the  future.  But  men  looked  at  things  so 
differently  from  women.  She  could  not  tell  how  Ted, 
honest,  kindly,  and  chivalrous  though  he  was,  would 
act  in  such  a  case  as  this.  Yet  she  remembered  with 
rising  hopes  the  generous  warmth  with  which  he 
had  often  inveighed  against  the  unjust  hypocritical 
judgments  of  the  world,  and  the  enthusiasm  with 
which  he  had  espoused  the  cause  of  ill-used  women  and 
children.  Then,  too,  how  often  had  he  quoted  with 
approval  passages  from  poets,  moralists,  or  philosophers, 
which  advocated  that  equal  justice  and  equal  mercy 
should  be  extended  to  the  whole  race,  and  that  there 
should  be  no  favouritism  on  the  score  of  sex. 


156  THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA. 

"Dearest,"  she  said  gently,  "will  you  let  me  tell 
Ted  ?  You  know  that  your  secret  would  be  as  safe 
with  him  as  with  me.     Let  me  tell  him." 

"  No,  no,  I  can't,"  wailed  Sabina.  "  As  it  is,  though 
he  will  leave  off  caring  for  me  in  time,  he  will  never 
have  anything  but  a  kindly  remembrance  of  me. 
I  could  not  bear  to  know  that  he  despised  me,  thought 
of  me  always  with  disgust  and  contempt." 

"If  he  did,"  cried  Candida,  "his  respect  would  not 
be  worth  having.     No,  if  Ted  is  what  I  think  him, 

what  he  has   always   appeared  to  be,  he  will " 

She    broke    off,    fearing    lest    she    had     said    too 
much. 

Sabina  began  to  cry  in  feeble,  helpless  fashion. 

"  You  can  do  as  you  please,"  she  sobbed  at  length. 
"  Tell  him,  tell  everybody ;  nothing  will  make  any 
difference.  No  one  will  ever  love  me  when  they 
know  all  about  me.  Oh,  Candida,  isn't  it  hard  that 
if  I  had  told  lies  at  sixteen,  or  been  cruel  or  mean 
or  treacherous,  it  would  all  have  been  forgotten  and 
forgiven  long  ago,  but  this  one  sin  will  never  be 
forgotten  or  forgiven.?  It  has  spoilt  my  whole 
life." 

«  •  •  «  « 

An  evening  or  two  later  Ted  arrived  in  Blake 
Street,  in  response  to  a  summons  from  Candida.  He 
wore  a  cheerful,  self-confident  air,  which  was  pathetic 
enough  under  the  circumstances.  Candida  did  her 
best  to  tone  down  his  obviously  sanguine  mood  by 


THE   CAREER  OF   CANDIDA.  157 

the  gravity  of  her  expression,  the  solemnity  of  her 
greeting.  There  was  an  anxious  question  or  two 
from  Ted  as  to  the  welfare  and  whereabouts  of  Sabina, 
a  reassuring  answer  from  herself,  and  then,  without 
any  circumlocution,  she  plunged  into  her  painful  story. 
Her  hearer  was  acquainted  with  the  circumstances 
of  Sabina's  childhood,  but  she  dwelt  upon  them  for 
a  moment  before  passing  on  to  the  melancholy  end- 
ing of  that  childhood.  Slowly  and  brokenly  she  told 
her  story,  while  the  rare  tears  overflowed  her  eyes, 
and  streamed  down  her  cheeks.  When  she  had 
finished  the  bare  recital  of  facts  she  was  silent  for  a 
moment,  half  hoping,  half  expecting  that  Ted  would 
turn  to  her  with  generous  ardour,  and  cry,  "  Oh,  my 
poor  little  girl !  My  love  shall  make  up  to  her  for 
all  the  sufferings  of  the  past." 

Like  Nora,  she  had  expected  a  miracle  to  happen, 
and,  like  the  doll-wife,  she  was  doomed  to  disappoint- 
ment. Ted  sat  silent,  staring  straight  in  front  of  him 
with  set  lips  and  stony  eyes. 

"  Have  you  nothing  to  say  ? "  she  asked  at  length. 

"I — I'm  awfully  sorry,"  he  muttered,  almost 
inaudibly. 

"  Is  that  all  ? " 

"  What  can  I  say  ? "  he  returned,  stung  by  her  tone. 
"  Poor  child,  she  has  been  cursedly  ill-used  ;  but  what 
can  I  do  ?  You  must  understand  that  this  entirely 
alters  the  position  of  things." 

Candida  made  no  reply.     She  dared  not  take  upon 


158  THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA. 

herself  the  responsibility  of  influencing  his  mind,  of 
pleading  Sabina's  cause. 

"  God  knows  I  don't  judge  her,  poor  little  thing ! " 
went  on  Ted.  "  I've  no  right  to  do  that.  But  this  is 
an  awful  blow.  I  dare  say  you  think  me  a  poor- 
spirited  cur,  but  you  know  how  men  look  upon  these 
things,  and  you  must  admit  that  it's  natural  for  an 
old-fashioned  fellow  like  myself  to  be  influenced  by 
the  laws  and  customs  of  the  society  in  which  he 
finds  himself." 

"You  talk  as  if  our  social  laws  and  customs  had 
come  down  to  us  from  heaven,  graven  on  stone 
tablets  by  the  finger  of  God,"  said  Candida,  glad  to 
vent  her  feelings  upon  an  impersonal  topic.  "But 
who  really  makes  them,  and  who  enforces  them  ? 
Not  society,  not  the  nation  at  large,  but  one  small 
section  of  it — elderly  men.  The  laws  are  passed  by 
elderly  dried-up  statesmen,  and  interpreted  by  elderly 
cynical  lawyers,  and  administered  by  elderly  gouty 
judges,  while  the  social  conventions  are  enforced  by 
elderly  pharisaical  citizens,  all  of  them  men  who  have 
lost  their  attraction  for  women,  and  with  it  their 
sympathy  for,  and  understanding  of,  our  sex.  What 
justice  or  mercy  can  we  look  for  from  such  a 
tribunal .? " 

"I  know  that  women  have  had  hard  measure 
meted  out  to  them,"  answered  Ted.  "I've  always 
said  that  a  man  has  no  right  to  condemn  others 
for  sins  that  he  has  committed  himself,  whatever  may 


THE   CAREER   OF  CANDIDA.  159 

have  been  his  excuse ;  a  self-appointed  judge  is 
bound  to  be  able  to  show  a  clean  bill.  And  I  admit 
that  we  can't  realize  women's  temptations  any  more 
than  they  can  realize  ours,  so  that  we  have  no 
business  to  be  harder  on  them  than  they  are  on  us. 
But  somehow  it's  deuced  hard  to  put  one's  theories 
into  practice.  One  can't  help  being  guided  to  some 
extent  by  the  customs  and  modes  of  thought  that 
have  governed  men  for  centuries.  They  may  be 
unjust  or  ill-founded,  but  you  can't  expect  them  to 
disappear  all  in  a  moment.  Even  if  a  man  knows 
that  he's  a  low  beast  himself,  he  wants  his  wife  to 
be  a  superior  order  of  being  ;  he  can't  bear  the  notion 
that  other  low  beasts  may  fling  mud  at  her.  Don't 
think  I  really  despise  that  poor  child  because  she 
has  suffered  so  cruelly.  But  I  can't  talk  about  it 
now.  I  must  have  time  to  think ;  I  must  go  away 
and  work  it  out  for  myself." 

"Yes,"  said  Candida,  as  she  took  his  hand,  "you 
must  work  it  out  for  yourself;  no  one  can  help 
you.  The  answer  depends  upon  the  strength  of  your 
love,  and  you  alone  can  tell  whether  it  is  strong 
enough  to  forgive." 


CHAPTER  XIV. 

A  WEEK  or  ten  days  passed  away  before  Ted 
appeared  again  in  Blake  Street,  and  then  Candida, 
on  coming  home  from  her  work  late  one  afternoon, 
found  him  sitting  by  Sabina's  side  on  the  sofa.  The 
young  man  jumped  up,  but  he  did  not  relinquish  his 
hold  of  the  girl's  hand. 

"Sabina  has  consented  to  make  me  very  happy," 
he  said  in  rather  solemn  tones.  "  I  hope  you  will 
wish  me  joy,  Candida." 

He  looked  pale  and  rather  worn.  It  was  evident 
that  he  had  been  through  a  severe  struggle,  and  that 
he  had  suffered  and  made  sacrifice  before  love  and 
pity  had  been  able  to  win  the  day. 

"  I  wish  you  joy  with  all  my  heart,"  cried  Candida, 
as  she  grasped  his  hand.  "  I  am  so  glad  !  I  am  sure 
you  will  be  very  happy.  We  must  be  married  on 
the  same  day,  Sabina ;  it  will  be  quite  a  weight  off 
my  mind  to  know  that  I  am  not  leaving  you  alone, 
after  all." 

When  Ted  had  taken   his  departure  for  the  time 


THE   CAREER  OF  CANDIDA-  i6i 

being,  Sabina  launched  into  an  enthusiastic  disser- 
tation upon  his  manifold  excellences  and  her  own 
exceeding  good  fortune. 

"  You've  no  idea  how  good,  how  perfectly 
angelic  he  was  to  me,"  she  exclaimed  rapturously. 
"  He  is  so  entirely  different  from  all  the  other  men 
I  have  ever  known.  I  never  thought  that  any  man 
could  be  so  gentle  and  considerate,  almost  reverent. 
And  the  engagement-ring  is  to  be  one  big  pearl  sur- 
rounded by  diamonds  ;  he  insisted  on  my  telling  him 
what  I  should  like  best.  And,  Candida,  do  you  mean 
to  be  married  in  white  satin  or  in  a  travelling-dress } 
I  think  white  satin  is  the  most  economical  in  the 
long  run,  because  it  comes  in  as  an  evening  dress 
afterwards." 

"  Oh,  I  don't  know ;  I  hadn't  thought  about  it," 
said  Candida,  rather  taken  aback  by  this  sudden 
change  of  topic.  "You'll  be  very  good  to  Ted, 
won't  you,  Sabina,  because  he  really  does  deserve 
it?  You  won't  let  all  the  kindness  be  on  his 
side?" 

"Oh,  you  needn't  be  afraid.  I  shall  spoil  him 
horribly.  I  think  ivory  satin  or  bengaline  would  be 
best,  don't  you  ?  And  one  could  have  a  square-cut 
bodice,  filled  in  with  lace  for  the  ceremony." 

The  double  wedding  took  place  very  quietly  shortly 
after  Christmas,  the  only  guests  being  near  relations 
of  the  contracting  parties.     Mr.  and  Mrs.  Sylvester 


i63  THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA. 

drove  straight  from  the  church  door  to  Victoria,  en 
route  for  Paris,  where  they  were  to  spend  a  short 
honeymoon. 

Paris !  For  the  rest  of  her  life  that  name  called  up 
in  Candida's  mind  a  confused  vision  of  glittering 
theatres,  glittering  shops,  glittering  cafis,  glaring  sun- 
shine and  piercing  winds,  strange  faces,  strange  voices, 
and  strange  manners.  Nothing  could  have  been  better 
adapted  than  the  novelty  of  her  surroundings  to  draw 
her  more  closely  to  her  husband,  and  make  her  feel 
her  dependence  upon  him.  It  was  not  until  long  after- 
wards, when  she  could  look  back  calmly  upon  that 
soul-shaking  time,  that  she  was  able  to  realize  how 
admirably  Adrian  had  behaved.  Some  feminine 
streak  in  his  own  character  helped  him  to  adapt 
himself  to  the  temperament  of  the  woman  he  loved, 
while  his  naturally  quick  perception  enabled  him 
to  decipher  her  moods,  and  to  avoid  jarring  upon  her 
susceptibilities.  Altogether,  it  is  doubtful  whether,  if 
he  had  been  a  man  of  more  solid  and  substantial 
qualities,  he  would  have  acquitted  himself  so  success- 
fully in  his  new  role. 

After  a  fortnight  spent  in  love-making  and  pleasure- 
seeking,  both  husband  and  wife  felt  as  though  they 
had  suddenly  awoke  from  some  fantastic  dream  to 
prosaic  reality  when  they  found  themselves  in  England 
once  more,  journeying  down  to  the  little  suburban 
home,  and  the  commonplace  every-day  existence  that 
must  perforce  await  them  there.     Although  Candida 


THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA.  163 

wondered,  with  a  touch  of  dull  misgiving,  how  romance 
and  sentiment  were  likely  to  fare  under  these  un- 
promising conditions,  she  yet  felt  a  certain  sense  of 
relief  at  the  thought  of  entering  upon  a  permanent 
and  settled  mode  of  existence  by  her  husband's  side, 
after  the  disturbed  months  of  their  engagement  and 
the  hurry  and  excitement  of  the  Paris  holiday. 
Though  she  hoped  that  Adrian  would  never  be  less 
her  lover,  she  yet  looked  forward  to  the  time  when 
he  would  be  more  her  friend — when,  in  short,  they 
would  no  longer  be  irresponsible  playfellows,  dally- 
ing with  life  like  children  in  a  flower  garden,  but 
companions  and  helpmates,  living  in  a  work-a-day 
world,  where  duties  and  responsibilities  occupied  a 
larger  place  than  pleasures  or  amusements. 

Some  such  thoughts  passed  through  her  mind  as  they 
travelled  down  to  Heme  Vale  together,  mingled  with 
an  irrepressible  desire  that  they  were  going  to  a  home 
of  their  own,  however  modest ;  a  couple  of  rooms 
in  a  dingy  lodging-house  would  have  more  than 
contented  her,  if  only  she  could  have  felt  that  they 
were  her  own.  It  would  have  been  such  happiness 
to  keep  house  for  Adrian,  to  make  the  rooms  neat 
and  pretty,  to  feel  that  she  was  working  for  him 
while  he  was  working  for  her.  She  did  not  like  to 
confess  her  longing  to  her  husband,  fearing  that  she 
would  seem  ungracious  towards  his  mother ;  but,  by 
some  lover's  instinct  he  answered,  as  he  often  did, 
her  unspoken  thoughts. 


i64  THE  CAREER   OF   CANDIDA. 

"  Don't  you  wish  we  were  still  to  be  alone  together  ? " 
he  asked,  as  he  leant  his  head  upon  her  shoulder. 
"Yes,  I  can  see  you  do,  though  you  don't  like  to 
say  so.  Well,  we'll  have  a  home  of  our  own  some 
day — next  year,  perhaps,  if  things  turn  out  as  I  hope. 
I  shall  work  like  a  nigger  now  that  I  have  got  my 
most  gracious  sovereign  lady  to  look  after  me,  and 
keep  me  in  order." 

"  I'm  sure  we  shall  be  very  happy  with  your  mother," 
said  Candida,  "And  I'm  glad  to  think  that  our  being 
there  will  be  a  help  to  her." 

"Yes,  she  is  charmed  at  having  us,  and  the  girls 
too  ;  they  are  always  called  the  girls,  you  know,  though 
Louisa  is  forty,  and  Fanny  a  couple  of  years  older. 
I  only  hope  you  won't  find  it  intolerably  dull.  We 
shall  always  have  the  evenings  together,  of  course,  and 
on  Saturdays  we  can  go  to  the  theatre,  or  take  a  run 
into  the  country." 

"  Oh,  I  shall  be  able  to  make  myself  happy  where- 
ever  I  am,  as  long  as — as  long  as  you  don't  get  tired 
of  me.  I  never  feel  as  if  I  were  the  sort  of  woman 
to  keep  the  love  of  a  man  like  you.  I  am  always 
the  same ;  I  can't  pretend  to  be  what  I  don't  feel, 
and  men  are  supposed  to  like  variety." 

"  It  is  just  the  being  always  the  same  that  makes 
your  greatest  charm,"  he  said.  "It  is  so  restful  to 
have  to  do  with  a  woman  whom  one  can  depend 
upon,  who  is  not  a  mere  bundle  of  whims  and  moods. 
Caprices  and  vagaries  are  much  more    tiring  in  the 


THE   CAREER  OF   CANDIDA.  165 

long  run  than  sameness — your  kind  of  sameness,  be 
it  understood." 

His  tone  was  that  of  a  man  who  has  enjoyed  a 
wide  and  varied  experience,  but  Candida  was  not 
inclined  to  retrospective  jealousy,  so  she  laughed  and 
allowed  her  misgivings  to  be  coaxed  away. 

Candida  had  been  down  to  Forest  Lodge,  her 
mother-in-law's  house,  several  times  in  the  course  of 
her  engagement,  yet  it  was  with  something  of  a 
shock  that  she  looked  around  her  upon  entering  what 
was  now  to  be  her  home.  Forest  Lodge  was  a  small 
semi-detached  villa,  with  a  slip  of  a  garden  in  front, 
in  which  grew  one  grimy  sycamore.  On  one  side  of  the 
narrow  passage  that  was  dignified  by  the  name  of 
hall,  was  a  small  square  drawing-room,  on  the  other 
side  a  small  square  dining-room.  Gas  was  flaring 
in  both  rooms,  on  the  night  of  the  traveller's  return, 
and  the  fresh  odours  of  the  coming  supper  mingled 
with  the  stale  odours  of  the  departed  dinner. 

Candida  did  her  best  to  banish  from  her  mind  the 
critical  thoughts  which  seemed  like  rank  ingratitude 
in  face  of  the  warm  welcome  that  greeted  her.  Mrs. 
Sylvester  had  scarcely  eyes  or  ears  except  for  her 
idolized  son  ;  but  her  daughters,  Fanny  and  Louisa, 
hovered  round  their  new  sister-in-law,  offering  her 
everything  they  could  think  of,  apologizing  for  all 
shortcomings,  anxious  to  make  themselves  of  use  to 
her,  yet  fearful  lest  they  should  seem  to  be  putting 
themselves  forward.     Their  nervousness  took  the  not 


i66  THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA. 

uncommon  form  of  excessive  laughter,  which  Candida 
found  rather  disconcerting,  since  she  had  no  intention 
of  being  amusing ;  still,  she  recognized  that  they 
meant  to  be  very  kind  and  conciliatory,  and  in  the 
midst  of  her  fatigue  and  embarrassment,  was  touched 
and  comforted  by  the  friendliness  of  her  reception. 
She  began  to  wonder  what  sort  of  characters  the  two 
plain,  giggling,  middle-aged  women  really  possessed, 
and  how  they  occupied  their  time.  She  had  had  but 
little  experience  of  women  of  their  age  and  circum- 
stances, and  inwardly  resolved  to  try  and  enter  into 
their  interests,  and  share,  if  possible,  their  pursuits, 
since  she,  like  them,  would  have  no  profession  and 
no  housekeeping  to  take  up  her  time. 

During  the  first  two  or  three  weeks  at  Forest  Lodge, 
Candida  felt  herself  too  much  in  the  position  of  a 
guest  to  be  able  to  arrange  her  own  life,  or  make 
any  definite  plans  for  the  future.  She  was  introduced 
to  several  of  the  Sylvesters'  friends,  and  two  or  three 
little  tea-parties  were  got  up  expressly  to  do  her  honour. 
Each  Saturday  she  spent  in  town,  passing  the  morning 
at  the  Gymnasium,  and  going  to  some  place  of 
amusement  with  her  husband  in  the  afternoon.  Adrian 
was  still  as  lover-like  as  in  the  early  days  of  their 
engagement,  and  though  he  had  settled  down  to  work 
very  steadily,  yet  as  soon  as  office  hours  were  over 
his  only  desire  seemed  to  be  to  rush  home  to  her 
side.  His  mother  and  sisters  were  never  tired  of 
telling  Candida  how  beneficial  her  influence  over  him 


THE   CAREER  OF   CANDID.\.  167 

had  proved.  The  dear  boy  had  been  a  different 
creature  since  he  had  known  her,  they  declared  ;  it 
only  showed  that  all  he  had  needed  to  steady  him 
and  keep  him  out  of  mischief  was  a  nice  wife. 

All  this  was  gratifying  enough,  yet  Candida  could 
not  help  feeling  some  faint  disappointment  that  she 
had  been  unable  to  persuade  Adrian  to  take  her  into 
his  confidence,  and  talk  to  her  about  his  business 
affairs.  She  had  made  more  than  one  attempt  to 
lead  the  conversation  round  to  financial  topics  when 
she  sat  with  him  in  the  smoking-room  after  dinner, 
but  hitherto  her  efforts  had  all  been  baffled  by  the 
lover-hke  nonsense  which  formed  the  staple  of  his 
conversation  almost  as  much  now  as  in  the  days  of 
their  honeymoon. 

One  evening,  about  three  weeks  after  their  return, 
she  went  straight  to  the  point  that  she  had  hitherto 
approached  in  roundabout  fashion,  and  begged  him 
to  tell  her  about  his  work,  and  explain  to  her  some 
of  the  mysteries  of  the  Stock  Exchange. 

"  I  want  to  know  about  bulls  and  bears,  and  booms 
and  slumps,"  she  said.  "  Can't  you  explain  to  me 
the  sort  of  things  you  do }  I  should  like  to  under- 
stand how  companies  are  started,  and  what  the  cover 
system  really  is." 

"  Oh,  for  heaven's  sake,  don't  let  us  talk  about  such 
horrors  now,"  he  cried,  with  not  unnatural  shrinking 
from  the  proposed  topic.  "If  you  are  really  interested 
in  such  matters  you  can  read  the  "Stock  Exchange 


i68  THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA. 

Year  Book,"  and  the  financial  papers,  and  our  monthly 
investment  circular.  Learn  as  much  as  you  like 
about  the  beastly  things,  only  don't  expect  me  to 
talk  shop  in  the  bosom  of  my  family." 

Candida  looked  pained. 

"  I  don't  want  to  bother  you,"  she  said.  "  But  I 
feel  as  if  I  had  no  part  whatever  in  your  real  hfe, 
no  share  in  your  serious  interests.  Am  I  never  to 
be  anything  but  a  sort  of  legalized  mistress  for  you 
to  kiss  and  coax  when  you  have  nothing  more  im- 
portant to  occupy  you  ?  Are  we  never  to  exchange 
a  rational  idea,  or  discuss  anything  but  the  shape  of 
my  nose  and  the  colour  of  my  eyes  ? " 

He  laughed  good-humouredly. 

"  Fm  sure  we  couldn't  have  more  charming  topics," 
he  replied.  "  Darling,  you  look  so  nice  when  you  are 
getting  a  little  cross.  I  believe  you  know  that  a  slight 
frown  is  extremely  becoming  to  you.  Your  eye- 
brows look  like  two  brown  feathers  that  have  blown 
together." 

"Ah,  you  think  you  can  silence  me  with  flattery," 
she  returned,  shaking  her  head  reproachfully  at  him. 

"  Do  you  know  I  have  just  discovered  a  new  dimple 
beneath  the  corner  of  your  left  eye  ? "  he  observed 
irrelevantly.  "  It  only  appears  when  you  smile  in  a 
particular  way.  Now,  if  there  is  one  thing  in  woman 
I  admire  more  than  another,  it  is  dimples.  A  really 
well-situated  dimple  covers  a  multitude  of  sins." 

"I'm   afraid    I    am   getting   fat,"  sighed    Candida. 


THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA.  169 

"That  comes  of  leading  such  an  idle  life.  I  really 
must  try  and  find  some  occupation  ;  but  none  of  the 
women  about  here  seem  to  have  anything  to  do, 
unless  they  are  mothers  of  families." 

"  So  much  the  better  for  them,"  said  Adrian,  lightly. 
"  I  wish  I  had  nothing  to  do.  Never  mind,  my  dearest 
dear,"  he  added  quickly,  as  he  perceived  her  perturbed 
expression  ;  "  we^l  have  a  house  of  our  own  next 
year,  and  then  you  shall  clean  the  windows  and  scrub 
the  floors  all  day  long,  if  you  really  wish  it.  Now, 
will  you  please  smile  again,  because  I  want  to  kiss 
that  new  dimple  .' " 

After  this  conversation  Candida  made  a  con- 
scientious attempt  to  glean  some  knowledge  of  stocks 
and  shares  from  the  columns  of  the  financial  press, 
but  the  information  thus  gained  was  not  exactly  of 
an  engaging  nature ;  indeed,  there  came  a  time  when 
she  thought  it  wisest  to  discontinue  her  studies,  and 
remain  voluntarily  in  the  dark.  She  next  turned  her 
attention  to  the  only  resource  for  the  feminine  un- 
employed— work  among  the  poor.  But  it  presently 
appeared  that  Mrs.  Sylvester  was  afflicted  with  a 
nervous  dread  of  dirt  and  infection,  insomuch  that 
her  own  daughters  were  only  allowed  to  enter  such  of 
the  houses  of  their  poorer  neighbours  as  were  guaran- 
teed to  be  clean  and  respectable  by  the  clergyman  of 
the  parish.  The  district  was  not  a  poor  one,  and 
there  was  so  large  an  army  of  voluntary  workers  that 
Candida  recognized  that  her  own  efTorts  were  quite 


lyo  THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA. 

superfluous.  She  gradually  withdrew  from  the  work 
when  she  found  herself  almost  treading  on  the  heels 
of  other  district-visitors  in  the  best  parlours  of  respect- 
able women,  who  clearly  needed  nothing  at  her  hands, 
and  who  scarcely  took  the  trouble  to  conceal  their 
contempt  for  the  parochial  doles. 

For  the  space  of  a  few  weeks  she  shared,  as  far 
as  possible,  the  occupations  and  amusements  of  her 
sisters-in-law.  The  life  was  so  totally  unlike  any- 
thing to  which  she  had  hitherto  been  accustomed  that 
at  first  its  very  novelty  saved  her  from  ennui.  She 
felt  as  though  she  were  plunged  into  the  middle  of 
some  novel  dealing  with  suburban  life  and  society, 
and  only  needed  to  close  the  book  when  she  wearied 
of  the  tedium  and  pettiness  of  the  details  therein 
described.  Indeed,  there  was  so  strange  an  air  of 
unreality  about  this  new  existence,  owing,  probably, 
to  the  lack  of  all  regular  employment,  that  she  could 
hardly  believe  she  would  not  awake  some  morning 
to  find  herself  back  in  her  Bloomsbury  lodging,  with 
a  hard  day's  work  before  her. 

But  as  the  novelty  wore  off,  the  reality  of  her  lot 
became  more  and  more  apparent,  while  she  found 
it  less  easy  to  shut  her  eyes  to  its  wearisome  triviali- 
ties. Her  curiosity  as  to  the  characters  and  pursuits 
of  her  new  relations  was  soon  satisfied,  and  with 
familiarity  her  amused  interest  changed  to  com- 
passion and  regret.  Much  as  she  appreciated  the 
kindness  and  amiability  of  her  sisters-in-law,  it  was 


THE  CAREER  OF   CANDIDA.  171 

only  too  clear  to  her  that  she  could  look  for  no  real 
companionship  from  them.  The  two  "girls"  were 
accustomed  to  say  that  they  had  no  time  for  reading, 
which  meant  that  they  had  no  inclination,  wherefore 
it  was  not  surprising  that  they  were  still  mentally  at 
the  same  level  as  when  they  left  school  at  seventeen, 
having  neither  grown  nor  matured.  Like  too  many 
of  their  kind,  they  were  nothing  more  than  good- 
humoured  middle-aged  school-girls,  who  still  giggled 
over  the  tiny  jokes,  secrets,  and  mysteries  that  had 
delighted  them  a  quarter  of  a  century  before. 

Apart  from  bazaars,  tea-parties,  and  church  decora- 
tions, religion  and  ill-health  formed  the  principal 
excitements  of  their  lives.  They  fasted  on  Fridays, 
went  regularly  to  early  services,  and  were  nearly 
always  ailing  ;  indeed,  they  seemed  to  regard  chronic 
ill-health  as  the  natural  prerogative  of  women.  Their 
doctor's  and  chemist's  bills  rivalled  those  of  the 
butcher  and  grocer,  while  the  trying  of  a  new  "  treat- 
ment," or  even  of  a  quack  remedy,  was  a  source  of 
never-failing  delight.  Until  she  perceived  how  much 
real  enjoyment  they  derived  from  their  ailments,  Can- 
dida was  quite  concerned  at  the  regularity  with  which 
colds,  headaches,  and  bilious  attacks  succeeded  each 
other  in  the  family  circle.  The  three  ladies  were 
seldom  all  free  from  sickness  at  the  same  time,  and 
this  fact  seemed  to  constitute  their  only  claim  to 
interest  and  importance  in  their  own  eyes,  and  in 
those  of  their  neighbours.     Candida  attributed  their 


172  THE   CAREER  OF   CANDIDA. 

ill-health  to  their  lack  of  occupation,  and  made  up  her 
mind  that  if,  instead  of  existing  with  difficulty  on  a 
widow's  and  spinsters'  pittance,  they  had  only  started 
a  dancing-school  or  a  Berlin-wool  shop,  they  would 
now  be  enjoying  the  robust  health  and  excellent 
spirits  which  distinguished  the  majority  of  the  wage- 
earning  women  of  her  acquaintance.  She  soon 
became  aware,  however,  that  her  new  relations  re- 
garded the  necessity  for  work  as  a  downright  degra- 
dation, and  infinitely  preferred  leading  the  narrowest 
of  existences  on  the  narrowest  of  means,  to  earning 
a  penny  by  their  own  exertions. 


CHAPTER  XV. 

The  return  of  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Ferrars  from  a  lengthened 
wedding  tour  was  quite  an  important  event  in  the 
empty  and  purposeless  existence  to  which  Candida 
now  found  herself  condemned.  On  her  first  visit  to 
the  little  house  in  Hampstead  in  which  the  young 
couple  had  settled  themselves,  she  found  the  bride 
in  a  great  state  of  excitement  over  her  new  home, 
her  new  servants,  and  her  new  furniture.  She  could 
scarcely  be  induced  to  mention  her  husband,  who 
had  no  longer  any  pretensions  to  the  novelty  of  the 
rest  of  the  establishment 

"Oh,  Ted,"  she  said  at  length,  in  reply  to  her 
friend's  repeated  inquiries — "Ted  is  all  right,  dear 
old  thing !  That  reminds  me,  I  must  show  you  the 
lace  he  bought  me  at  Venice.  Yes,  yes,  of  course, 
he  is  the  best  of  husbands,  positively  without  a  flaw 
now  that  he  has  given  up  trying  to  talk  to  me  as  if 
I  were  an  intellectual  woman.  At  first  he  rather 
bored  me  by  trying  to  get  me  to  take  an  intelligent 
interest  in  the  churches  and  pictures  in   Italy,   buf* 


174  THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA. 

he  soon  saw  that  the  task  was  hopeless,  and  took 
me  to  theatres  instead.  We  used  to  look  in  at  the 
shop  windows  all  the  morning,  and  in  the  afternoon 
he  did  the  guide-book  sights  by  himself  while  I 
rested.  How  sensible  you  were  to  spend  all  your 
time  in  Paris,  where  one  need  never  be  bothered  with 
ruins  or  churches !  I  bought  this  frock  in  Paris, 
What  do  you  think  of  it  ? " 

"Very  pretty,"  answered  Candida,  absently.  "I 
suppose  Ted  is  working  very  hard  ?  " 

"Oh,  dreadfully.  I  never  see  anything  of  him 
except  in  the  evenings,  and  then  he  yawns  so, 
particularly  if  he  takes  me  out  anywhere,  that  I'm 
always  afraid  he  will  crack  his  jaws.  I  really  must 
try  and  find  some  one  else  to  take  me  about,  and 
then  he  can  yawn  at  home  in  peace." 

"But  would  not  that  be  rather  dull  for  him,  after 
working  hard  all  day  ? " 

"Oh,  he  really  likes  being  dull,  and  he  always 
has  a  lot  of  stupid  old  books  that  he  wants  to  read. 
He  tried  to  persuade  me  to  begin  what  he  calls  a 
systematic  course  of  reading,  in  order  to  improve  my 
mind.  He  is  so  funny  sometimes.  Fancy  me  im- 
proving my  mind ! " 

Candida  looked  a  little  uneasy. 

"  I  hope  you  are  very  good  to  Ted,"  she  said ; 
"especially  as  he  has  turned  out  such  a  paragon 
of  a  husband.  You  are  very  happy  together,  aren't 
you?" 


THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA.  175 

"Yes,  of  course.  We  get  on  like  two  turtle-doves, 
and  he  is  perfectly  devoted  to  me.  But  do  just  look 
at  this  cabinet,  Candida.  I  got  it  in  Wardour  Street 
the  other  day ;  it's  Chippendale  or  Sheraton,  or 
something  of  the  kind.  Ted  was  rather  horrified 
at  the  price,  but  it  was  really  ridiculously  cheap. 
Don't  you  think  I'm  a  lucky  girl,  Candida  ?  I  wish 
you  had  a  house  of  your  own  and  nice  things,  instead 
of  having  to  live  with  your  husband's  relations  in 
a  pokey  place  like  Heme  Vale." 

"  Yes,  I  must  say  I  should  like  a  house  of  my 
own,"  said  Candida,  rather  wistfully.  "Still,  I  am 
very  happy,  and  all  the  more  so  for  knowing  that 
you  are  too." 

Any  slight  uneasiness  that  she  might  have  felt 
about  the  condition  of  the  new  menage  was  dispelled 
by  the  sight  of  Ted,  who  came  home  just  in  time 
to  walk  with  her  to  the  station.  There  could  be 
no  doubt  that  he  was  genuinely  in*  love  with  his 
wife,  and  very  proud  of  her  beauty,  which,  he 
declared,  had  made  quite  a  sensation  at  every  hotel 
they  stayed  in  during  their  tour.  He  evidently  re- 
garded her  love  of  finery  and  amusement  with  an 
indulgent  eye,  considering  that  such  little  weaknesses 
were  perfectly  natural,  and  even  becoming  in  so 
young  and  pretty  a  woman.  He  could  afford  to 
gratify  her  every  reasonable  wish,  he  explained,  as 
long  as  he  stuck  closely  to  work,  and  that  would 
not  hurt  him ;  indeed,  he  really  enjoyed  it 


176  THE  CAREER  OF   CANDIDA. 

It  was  about  this  time  that  Candida  made  up  her 
mind  to  emancipate  herself  from  the  vortex  of  after- 
noon calls,  tea-parties,  and  shopping  excursions,  in 
which  she  had  been  struggling  since  her  arrival  at 
Forest  Lodge,  and  map  out  some  more  dignified 
form  of  existence  for  herself.  A  subscription  to  the 
London  Library  placed  books  once  more  within  her 
reach,  and  she  exchanged  the  little  pottering  walks, 
which  her  sisters-in-law  regarded  as  constitutionals, 
for  long  lonely  rambles,  which  carried  her  beyond 
the  regions  of  villa-dom,  out  of  sight  even  of  the 
crystal  monstrosity  which  dominated  the  landscape 
for  miles  around  Heme  Vale.  With  these  resources 
she  was  able  to  pass  her  time  not  unpleasantly,  the 
monotony  of  her  existence  being  compensated  for  by 
the  delightful  "week-ends"  which  she  and  Adrian 
always  spent  together,  and  an  occasional  run  up  to 
town  between  whiles  to  visit  some  of  her  old  friends, 
or  take  a  class*  at  the  Gymnasium. 

In  spite  of  her  revolt  against  the  claims  of  Heme 
Vale  society,  and  her  lack  of  appreciation  of  suburban 
gaieties,  Candida  had  contrived  to  win  the  confidence 
and  affection  of  her  mother  and  sisters-in-law.  Her 
success,  it  is  tme,  was  partly  due  to  a  suppression 
of  her  own  ideas  and  opinions — a  piece  of  moral 
insincerity  of  which  she  was  often  ashamed.  But 
discussion  of  any  subject  was  impossible  in  that 
household  if  peace  were  to  be  maintained.  She  was 
compelled  to  treat  the  ladies  much  as  if  they  were 


THE   CAREER  OF   CANDIDA.  177 

elderly  children,  humouring  all  their  prejudices,  and 
carefully  avoiding  any  expression  of  opinion  that 
would  be  likely  to  wound  their  very  sensitive  sus- 
ceptibilities. They  had,  she  discovered,  their  own 
well-defined  views  upon  every  abstract  question  that 
had  come  within  their  ken,  and  from  these  there  could 
be  no  appeal,  even  though  the  views  were  never  based 
upon  reason  or  logic,  but  only  upon  the  authority  of 
some  favourite  clergyman,  whose  arguments  were 
regarded  as  no  less  infallible  than  his  office. 

Candida's  restraint  of  her  naturally  outspoken 
tongue  was  due,  however,  less  to  fear  of  giving 
offence  than  to  a  desire  to  avoid  giving  pain — a 
desire  which  was  deepened  and  strengthened  by  a  little 
confidence  which  accident  caused  her  sisters-in-law 
to  repose  in  her.  Happening  to  meet  them  one 
day  in  a  stationer's  shop  in  Sydenham,  she  was 
surprised  to  see  handed  over  the  counter  to  them 
a  large  bundle  of  letters,  which  had  evidently  been 
addressed  to  the  care  of  the  proprietor.  Their 
blushes,  giggles,  and  guilty  looks,  as  they  followed 
her  out  of  the  shop,  naturally  roused  her  curiosity. 

"  I  believe  you  two  have  been  up  to  some  mischief," 
she  said  laughingly.  "You  had  better  make  a  clean 
breast  of  it  to  me." 

"Oh  no,  we  couldn't  possibly,"  said  Louisa,  ner- 
vously. "You  would  laugh  at  us,  wouldn't  she, 
Fanny?  And  I  dare  say  you  would  be  horribly 
shocked." 


178  THE   CAREER  OF   CANDIDA. 

"  I  wonder  whether  she  would  ? "  returned  Fanny, 
doubtfully.  "After  all,  it  was  only  a  joke.  Would 
you  promise  not  to  tell  any  one  else  if  we  told 
you — not  even  Adrian  ?  " 

"Oh  yes,  I  promise,"  she  answered  carelessly. 
"  You  had  better  confide  in  me  now  I  have  seen 
the  letters,  or  I  shall  think  it  something  very 
dreadful." 

"Yes,  we  had  better  tell  her  now,"  said  Fanny. 
"You  explain,  Louie." 

"No,  I  daren't,"  cried  Louisa,  giggling  more  un- 
controllably than  ever.     "You  do  it,  Fanny." 

"  Well,  I  don't  know  whether  I  can  make  you  under- 
stand why  we  did  it,"  began  the  elder  sister,  hesitatingly. 
"  You  ought  to  know  the  sort  of  lives  we  have  always 
led,  how  we  never  went  to  dances,  or  saw  much  of 
— of  gentlemen,  because  mamma  disapproved  of 
worldly  ways." 

"And  we  were  never  pretty  or  very  attractive,  even 
when  we  were  quite  young,"  put  in  Louisa.  "And 
we  had  very  little  money  to  spend  on  clothes,  because 
Adrian's  education  was  so  expensive." 

"I've  no  doubt  you  always  looked  very  nice," 
said  Candida,  wondering  whither  this  preamble  was 
leading. 

"  Perhaps  we  were  really  better  and  safer  without 
beauty,"  said  Louisa,  with  a  sigh,  "though  it  must 
be  very  pleasant  to  be  admired  and — and  loved. 
Nobody  ever  fell  in  love  with  us,  that  we  know  of, 


THE  CAREER  OF   CANDIDA.  179 

though  there  was  a  curate  once  who  was  rather  atten- 
tive to  Fanny." 

"  Oh,  how  can  you  say  such  things  ? "  exclaimed 
her  sister,  with  an  hysterical  laugh.  "  I'm  sure  that 
was  all  your  fancy,  Louie ;  I  never  troubled  my 
head  about  him.  The  long  and  the  short  of  it  is, 
Candida,  that  we  neither  of  us  ever  had  a  lover ;  so, 
though  we've  read  a  lot  about  love  in  story-books,  we 
haven't  had  any  experience  of  it  in  real  life.  We 
often  used  to  wonder  what  was  in  love-letters,  and 
what  proposals  were  like,  and  what  engaged  couples 
talked  about  I  dare  say  you  will  think  it  all  very 
silly." 

"No,  I  think  it  was  perfectly  natural,"  answered 
Candida,  gently.  "  I  used  to  wonder  just  the  same 
before — before  I  knew." 

"No!  did  you  really?"  said  Fanny,  visibly  encouraged 
by  this  sympathetic  reception  of  her  confidences. 
"  Well,  we  never  thought  we  should  be  able  to  gratify 
our  curiosity  until  a  few  months  ago,  when  we  happened 
to  see  a  copy  of  a  matrimonial  newspaper.  The 
advertisements  amused  us  so  much  that  I  suggested — 
only  in  fun,  you  know — that  we  should  each  send  an 
advertisement  to  the  paper,  just  to  see  what  sort  of 
replies  we  should  get.  Of  course,  we  never  thought 
of  answering  any  of  them." 

"But  you  don't  mean  to  say  that  you  really  did 
it  ? "  said  Candida,  uncertain  whether  to  feel  amused 
or  scandalized. 


i8o  THE    CAREER   OF   CANDIDA. 

"Yes,  we  really  did.  Louie  described  herself  as 
a  brunette  of  thirty,  not  pretty,  but  pleasant  and 
domesticated,  and  with  five  hundred  a  year ;  and  I 
said  I  was  nineteen,  tall  and  fair,  with  a  Grecian  nose 
and  violet  eyes." 

"I  had  thirty-seven  answers  to  mine,  and  Fanny 
only  two,"  observed  Louisa,  not  without  complacency. 

"Ah,  but  yours  only  wanted  the  money,"  put  in 
the  elder  sister.  "Mine  were  like  real  love-letters. 
They  both  wanted  to  have  my  photograph,  and  one 
of  them  asked  me  to  meet  him  under  the  clock  at 
Charing  Cross." 

"Well,  I  expect  I've  had  more  offers  than  any 
woman  in  Heme  Vale,"  said  Louisa.  "There  are  not 
so  many  this  time,  I  see.  I  put  my  fortune  at  two 
thousand  a  year,  and  they  must  have  thought  it 
was  a  hoax.  Only  five  for  me,  and  eleven  for  you, 
Fanny.  Let  me  see,  you  were  a  widow  of  twenty- 
five,  weren't  you,  with  two  hundred  a  year  ? " 

Candida  looked  from  one  to  the  other,  her  heart 
filled  with  compassion  for  the  two  loveless  little  women, 
who  had  sought  to  brighten  their  stunted,  colourless 
lives  by  means  of  counterfeit  romances,  and  in- 
dignation against  the  customs  that  had  rendered  such 
a  state  of  things  possible.  After  all,  she  said  to 
herself,  these  two  women  were  not  irredeemably  plain, 
or  rather,  their  lack  of  personal  attraction  was  due 
not  so  much  to  any  natural  defects  of  face  or  figure 
as  to  the  unhealthy  conditions  of  their  lives.     Their 


THE   CAREER  OF  CANDIDA. 


i«i 


features  were  passable,  their  figures  straight  and  fairly 
proportioned.  Vacuity  of  expression,  dull  eyes  and 
hair,  a  sallow  skin,  a  want  of  development,  a 
mistaken  taste  in  dress  —  it  was  to  these  defects 
that  they  owed  their  hopelessly  uninteresting  appear- 
ance. Had  they  received  a  vigorous  education  in 
their  youth,  and  afterwards  been  given  some  object 
in  life,  some  definite  work  to  do  in  the  world,  instead 
of  being  condemned  to  lead  the  narrowest  of  semi- 
conventual  existences,  she  could  see  no  reason  why 
they  should  not  have  turned  out  healthy,  intelligent, 
pleasant-looking  human  beings,  if  nothing  more.  In 
the  world  of  workers  they  would  have  found  their 
own  level,  and  made  friends  among  the  men  and 
women  with  whom  they  were  brought  in  contact. 
As  things  were,  she  could  not  bring  herself  to  blame 
them  for  the  peculiar  method  they  had  chosen  of  in- 
troducing a  little  romance  into  their  grey  lives  ;  yet 
she  felt  that  it  would  be  as  well  to  prevent  a  repeti- 
tion of  the  doubtful  experiment. 

"  Now  that  you  have  gratified  your  curiosity,"  she 
remarked,  "I  suppose  you  won't  care  to  go  on  with 
these  advertisements .?  There  is  a  certain  amount  of 
risk  connected  with  the  joke,  because  one  of  your 
would-be  suitors  might  wait  outside  the  shop  to  see 
who  came  to  fetch  the  letters,  and  follow  you 
home," 

"  Oh,  what  a  dreadful  idea ! "  cried  the  sisters  both 
at  once,  glancing  nervously  over  their  shoulders.    "  Do 


i82  THE   CAREER  OF  CANDIDA. 

you  think  any  one  was  there  to-day  ?     No,  we  shan't 
care  to  do  it  again." 

"There's  the  tram,"  said  Louisa.  "I  think  we  had 
better  take  it,  or  Fanny  will  be  over-tired.  Dr. 
Matthews  called  just  before  we  left  home,  and  he 
said  she  was  suffering  from  nervous  debility.  He  has 
ordered  her  a  course  of  iron  and  quinine." 

"I  am  sorry  to  hear  it,"  said  Candida,  longing  to 
suggest  that  more  air  and  exercise,  and  the  healthier 
appetite  consequent  thereupon,  would  probably  benefit 
the  invalid  more  than  tons  of  tonics. 

She  was  beginning  to  be  quite  ashamed  of  her 
own  appetite,  for  the  three  ladies  ate  like  sparrows, 
and,  with  the  exception  of  dinner,  the  meals  provided 
were  of  the  scantiest  description.  It  was  evident 
that  Mrs.  Sylvester's  means  were  very  narrow,  and 
Candida  felt  glad  to  think  that  the  payments  made 
by  Adrian  must  be  some  help  to  her ;  besides,  his 
presence  in  the  house  ensured  the  appearance  of 
one  sufficient  meal  every  day.  She  herself  was  often 
obliged  to  supplement  the  breakfasts  and  luncheons  out 
of  her  own  pocket,  and  for  this  and  other  purposes 
found  the  advantage  of  her  father's  allowance,  since 
Adrian  never  seemed  to  have  any  ready  money  to 
spare.  He  had  told  her  soon  after  their  return  to  put 
down  any  purchases  that  she  might  make  to  his 
account.  But  as  she  had  a  morbid  horror  of  debt, 
this  arrangement  had  the  effect  of  keeping  her  ex- 
penditure strictly  within  the  limits  of  her  allowance. 


THE   CAREER  OF   CANDIDA.  183 

It  was  upon  the  subject  of  finance  that  she  and 
her  husband  had  their  first  little  disagreement. 
Adrian  came  home  one  evening  overflowing  with 
enthusiasm  about  the  prospects  of  a  commercial  com- 
pany which  was  shortly  to  be  floated  by  some  friends 
of  his.  The  Automatic  Cork-drawing  Company, 
Limited,  was  expected  to  make  the  fortunes  of  every 
one  connected  with  it,  and  Adrian  only  regretted  that 
he  had  but  a  small  sum  at  his  disposal  to  invest 
in  so  promising  a  speculation. 

After  dinner,  when  he  and  Candida  were  alone 
together,  he  continued  to  descant  upon  the  advantages 
held  out  by  the  new  undertaking, 

"I  should  like  to  give  my  friends  a  chance  of 
sharing  in  the  luck,"  he  observed  at  length.  "Do 
you  think  your  father  would  care  to  invest  a  few 
hundreds  ? " 

"  No,  I'm  sure  he  wouldn't,  even  if  he  had  them," 
she  replied  with  decision.  "  He  hates  speculations, 
and  he  never  has  any  money  to  spare." 

"But  he  might  easily  raise  some — say  a  thousand, 
or  even  five  hundred.  He  would  probably  double 
his  capital  in  three  months,  and  then  he  could  clear 
out.  There  would  be  practically  no  risk,  as  long  as 
he  knew  when  to  run." 

"  Then  do  you  mean  that  there  would  be  risk  for 
the  people  who  bought  the  shares  of  him  ? " 

"Oh,  that  would  depend  on  how  long  they  held 
on ;  of  course,   they  would    have    to   look    out    for 


i84  THE   CAREER  OF   CANDIDA. 

themselves.  You  might  write  and  tell  your  father 
about  it.  It  would  be  an  advantage  to  me  as  well 
as  to  him,  because  the  directors  have  promised 
to  put  business  in  my  way  if  I  bring  them  a  certain 
amount  of  capital."  • 

"  It  would  be  quite  useless,"  she  answered.  "  He 
hasn't  got  the  money,  and  if  he  had  he  wouldn't  put 
it  into  a  company  that  was  to  be  boomed  for  a  few 
weeks,  only  to  smash  up  as  soon  as  the  promoters 
had  cleared  out." 

"  You  don't  understand  anything  about  business,"  he 
said,  with  gentle  reproach.  "  And  you  really  might 
trust  my  judgment  in  these  matters.  Of  course,  I  don't 
want  your  father  to  do  anything  shady  ;  I  Wcis  merely 
proposing  a  perfectly  legitimate  speculation  for  our 
mutual  benefit  You  have  often  said  you  wished  you 
could  be  of  use  to  me  ;  now  here  is  your  chance." 

"  There  is  nothing  that  would  give  me  more  happi- 
ness than  to  be  able  to  help  you,"  she  said  ;  "but  you 
are  mistaken  in  thinking  that  this  is  my  chance.  If 
you  knew  my  father  as  well  as  I  do,  you  would  under- 
stand that  to  make  him  such  a  proposal  would  be 
simply  a  waste  of  ink  and  paper." 

"That's  the  worst  of  these  country  gentlemen," 
grumbled  Adrian.  "They  never  have  any  notion  of 
business.  Consols  at  two  and  three-quarters  are  their 
idea  of  a  lucrative  investment.  And  then  they  are 
surprised  to  find  themselves  hard  up." 

"City  men  are  not  always  in  flourishing  circum- 


THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA.  185 

stances,"  returned  Candida.     "  There  is  such  a  thing 
as  being  too  clever." 

"  There's  something  in  that,"  he  said,  with  a  good- 
humoured  laugh.  "Well,  I'm  sorry  you  don't  see 
your  way  to  helping  me  in  this  little  matter.  How- 
ever, I  dare  say  I  shall  be  able  to  raise  the  money 
elsewhere." 


CHAPTER  XVI. 

With  the  approach  of  summer  the  question  of  a 
holiday,  which  yearly  agitates  the  breast  of  every 
Londoner,  became  the  subject  of  discussion  at  Forest 
Lodge.  Mrs.  Sylvester  at  once  announced  her 
intention  of  remaining  quietly  at  home ;  it  was  a 
trouble  to  move,  she  explained,  and  the  Heme  Vale 
air  was  so  fine  that  there  was  really  no  necessity  for 
a  change.  Adrian  having  no  money  to  spend  on 
travelling  expenses,  it  was  decided  that  the  young 
couple  should  take  advantage  of  a  standing  invita- 
tion to  Branksmead,  and  Candida  laid  a  secret  plan 
of  inducing  her  mother  to  ask  Fanny  and  Louisa 
to  spend  a  fortnight  there  by  turns.  It  was  finally 
arranged  that  she  should  go  home  first  alone,  and 
that  Adrian  should  follow  her  in  about  a  week's  time. 

Mr.  St.  John  greeted  his  daughter  upon  her  arrival 
with  an  air  of  tender  sympathy,  almost  of  com- 
miseration, which  made  her  laugh ;  it  seemed  so 
comically  inappropriate. 

"You  are  looking  much  better  than   I  expected," 


THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA.  187 

he  said,  as  they  wandered  round  the  garden  after 
dinner.  "  You  are  really  happy — still  ?  Your  illusions 
are  not  shattered — yet  ?  I  never  thought  that  your 
spirits  would  survive  six  months  of  a  suburban 
home,  a  mother-in-law,  and  a  stock-broking  husband." 

"Why  not?"  asked  Candida.  "My  mother-in-law 
is  the  kindest  little  woman  in  the  world,  and  we 
have  not  had  a  single  jar.  As  for  Adrian,  he  is  the 
most  devoted  of  husbands,  and  it  is  not  his  fault 
that  he  was  brought  up  to  a  business  career.  He  is 
working  very  steadily  now,  and  he  spends  every 
minute  of  his  spare  time  with  me.  He  hasn't  tired 
of  me  yet,"  she  added,  with  a  little  nod  of  triumph. 
"  He  still  thinks  me  the  most  beautiful  and  fascinating 
of  my  sex." 

"  Well,  well,"  sighed  her  father,  "  I  only  hope 
the  idyll  will  last." 

"  I  believe  you  are  quite  disappointed  because  Adrian 
has  not  begun  to  beat  me  yet,"  laughed  Candida. 
"  But  you  must  remember  that  I  am  nearly  as  big 
as  he  is,  and  in  much  better  training.  I  think  the 
idyll  will  last,"  she  added,  lowering  her  voice,  "  because 
— because  I  hope  that  a  great  happiness  is  coming  to 
us.  I  have  just  told  mother,  but  no  one  else  knows, 
not  even  Adrian.  I  thought  I  should  like  to  tell  him 
down  here." 

'  "  Oh,  you  poor  dear  child  !  "  said  her  father,  putting 
his  arm  round  her.  "What  risks  women  do  run 
when  they  marry.     Dear,  dear,   I  wish  Branksmead 


i88  THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA. 

were  not  entailed  upon  the  Foley  St,  Johns.     I  should 
have  liked  your  boy  to  have  it." 

"  Oh,  he  will  be  better  off  fighting  his  own  way  in 
the  world  with  a  free  hand  than  trying  to  prop  up 
a  falling  house,"  said  Candida.  "  He  shall  have  a 
good  education  if  I  can  manage  it,  and  if  he  has  good 
health,  he  will  need  no  other  heritage.  I  have  begun 
to  make  plans  already,"  she  added  with  a  smile. 

"  But  what  if  it  is  a  girl  ? " 

"Oh,  the  same  plans  will  serve.  If  I  had  half 
a  dozen  children,  I  shouldn't  make  any  difference 
between  the  education  and  opportunities  given  to 
the  sons  and  the  daughters.  I  would  never  see  the 
girls  sacrificed  to  the  boys,  only  to  be  rewarded  with 
brotherly  ingratitude  and  contempt." 

As  soon  as  Adrian  arrived,  Candida  hastened  to 
confide  her  secret  to  him.  Watching  for  his  eyes 
to  brighten  with  joy  and  pride  at  her  intelligence, 
she  could  hardly  believe  her  own  senses  when  she 
saw  his  countenance  fall,  and  heard  him  mutter — 

"  Good  heavens !  this  is  a  deuced  awkward  com- 
plication." 

"  You — you  are  not  glad,"  she  faltered.  "  But  surely 
you  must  have  realized  that  this  was  a  very  probable 
event." 

"  Well,  upon  my  soul,  I'd  scarcely  given  it  a  thought," 
he  answered  gloomily.  "Anyhow,  I  never  imagined 
it  would  be  so  soon.  Other  good-looking  young 
married  women  don't  have  these  misfortunes.     It  will 


THE   CAREER  OF  CANDIDA.  189 

quite  spoil  your  beauty,  and  age  you  by  years.  And 
then  the  expense!  It  will  nearly  double  our  rate 
of  living,  and  that  little  house  will  be  quite  unin- 
habitable." 

"  Of  course,  we  must  have  a  home  of  our  own  now  ; 
at  least,  we  ought  to  get  into  one  before  Christmas. 
I  shall  be  sorry  to  leave  your  mother,  and  we  must  try 
and  help  her  as  much  as  we  can,  but  she  will  quite 
understand  that  we  cannot  possibly  stop  on  there." 

"  Oh,  but  we  must ;  it  would  be  impossible  to  move 
at  present,"  he  said  decidedly.  "  I  simply  haven't  got 
the  money.  We  shall  have  to  make  shift  as  best  we 
can.  I  must  give  up  my  dressing-room,  I  suppose, 
and  the  girls  will  have  to  sleep  together.  I  must  say 
it's  confoundedly  awkward  just  now  ;  I  shouldn't  have 
minded  so  much  half  a  dozen  years  hence." 

"  I'm  sorry  it  causes  you  such  intense  annoyance," 
she  said  coldly.  "  But  it  is  rather  strange  that  you 
shouldn't  have  thought  of  this  contingency  before  you 
married." 

Fearing  lest  her  powers  of  self-control  should  give 
way,  she  turned  and  left  him.  With  all  her  desire 
to  see  her  husband  in  the  best  light,  and  to  make 
allowance  for  his  shortcomings,  she  could  not  help 
feeling  bitterly  hurt  at  the  manner  in  which  he  had 
received  her  news.  He  had  not  appeared  to  realize 
that  the  child  was  his  as  much  as  hers,  but  seemed  to 
regard  its  advent  as  an  error  of  taste  for  which  she 
alone  was  responsible.  All  her  natural  pleasure  in 
X3 


I90  THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA. 

the  prospect  of  motherhood  was  temporarily  dimmed 
by  this  unexpected  lack  of  sympathy  in  the  one 
human  being  from  whom,  above  all  others,  she  had 
a  right  to  expect  it. 

Candida  had  by  no  means  recovered  her  spirits  \yhen 
she  met  her  husband  again  at  the  dinner-table,  but 
Adrian,  who  was  keenly  sensitive  to  any  coolness  in 
the  social  atmosphere,  took  an  early  opportunity  of 
making  his  peace  with  her. 

The  news  had  taken  him  by  surprise,  he  explained, 
and  he  was  anxious  about  her  safety,  as  well  as 
worried  over  money  affairs.  But  he  admitted  that 
it  was  very  absurd  to  be  taken  aback  by  such  a 
natural  occurrence,  and  no  doubt  the  luck  would  turn 
before  long.  Anyhow,  she  was  to  forget  what  he 
had  said,  and  not  to  treat  him  as  if  he  were  a  long 
way  off,  or  suffering  from  an  infectious  disease, 
because  that  •  kind  of  thing  niade  him  very  un- 
comfortable. And  Candida  allowed  herself  to  be 
soothed  and  pacified,  being  quite  incapable  of  per- 
ceiving that  his  desire  for  a  reconciliation  lay  not 
so  much  in  a  real  feeling  of  tenderness  as  in  his 
dislike  of  any  unpleasantness  in  his  social  surroundings. 

The  arrival  of  Louisa  upon  a  fortnight's  visit  took 
off  her  thoughts  from  herself  and  her  own  troubles, 
for  her  sister-in-law  was  as  gauche  with  strangers 
as  a  girl  of  sixteen,  and  all  Candida's  energies  were 
bent  on  making  her  feel  happy  and  at  home.  Adrian, 
who  entertained  a  wholesome  fear  of  his  father-in-law. 


THE  CAREER  OF  CANDIDA.  191 

and  found  the  Hall  decidedly  dull,  spent  a  good 
deal  of  his  time  at  the  Vicarage,  where  Sabina  had 
been  staying  for  the  past  fortnight,  while  T^d  ran 
down  for  the  Sundays. 

"I  never  realized  till  quite  lately  what  good  com- 
pany your  husband  was,"  remarked  Mrs.  Ferrars  one 
day  to  her  friend.  "  Of  course,  last  summer  he  was 
entirely  engrossed  by  you,  so  that  I  had  no  opportunity 
of  discovering  his  talents.  He  is  such  a  contrast  to 
Ted,  who  is  virtue  personified,  but  a  trifle  solid.  He 
never  seems  to  want  any  amusement,  but  would  be 
contented  to  spend  all  the  evenings  for  the  rest  of  his 
life  by  the  domestic  hearth.  Oh,  those  domestic 
evenings!  I  begin  to  think  it  is  a  pity  I  gave  up 
the  stage  when  I  married ;  I  had  forgotten  how 
interminable  evenings  at  home  really  could  seem." 

"  Ted  would  never  have  agreed  to  your  continuing 
to  act,"  said  CandidcU  "For  one  thing,  he  would 
have  seen  nothing  of  you,  as  he  has  to  be  out  all  day. 
Besides,  he  is  much  too  old-fashioned  to  tolerate  the 
idea  of  his  wife  working  for  money  as  long  as  he  can 
afford  to  maintain  her." 

"Then  he  ought  not  to  mind  paying  my  bills," 
grumbled  Sabina. 

"  But  does  he  ? " 

"  Well,  he  never  says  much,  but  he  looks  surprised 
at  the  '  demned  total.*  He  might  see  that  as  I've 
nothing  else  to  do,  I  must  go  in  for  dress  and  society  ; 
I'm  simply  driven  to  it,     And  he  ought  not  to  think 


192  THE   CAREER  OF  CANDIDA. 

it  a  hardship  to  take  me  out  in  the  evenings,  or  be 
left  alone  at  home.  He  forgets  how  dull  I've 
been  all  day,  with  nothing  to  do  and  no  one  to 
speak  to." 

"You  will  be  all  right  when  you  have  children," 
observed  Candida.  "Wifehood  isn't  a  sufficient 
occupation  for  an  able-bodied  woman,  but  I  believe 
motherhood  is." 

"  Don't  talk  of  anything  so  dreadful,"  cried  Sabina. 
"I  want  to  have  a  httle  more  fun  before  I'm  laid 
on  the  shelf  for  life.  Oh,  here  comes  your  Adrian. 
You  never  told  me  what  a  splendid  mimic  he  was. 
He  can  take  off  the  vicar  to  the  life,  and  most  of  the 
funny  old  people  in  the  village." 

Candida  flushed  uncomfortably.  She  did  not 
enjoy  the  idea  of  her  old  friends  being  held  up  to 
ridicule. 

The  subject  of  her  conversation  with  Sabina  left  an 
uneasy  impression  upon  her  mind,  with  the  result  that 
she  took  advantage  of  Ted's  next  visit  to  Branks- 
mead  to  have  a  confidential  talk  with  him.  She  found 
him,  as  she  had  expected,  a  Httle  inclined  to  be 
plaintive  on  the  subject  of  his  wife  and  her  require- 
ments. 

"I  don't  wish  to  say  a  word  against  Sabina,"  he 
began,  using  the  time-honoured  preamble  to  a  marital 
complaint.  "She  is  a  dear,  good  girl,  and  we  are 
as  fond  of  each  other  as  ever ;  but  I  do  think  that 
she    is  just  the  least  bit  exacting.     If  I   work  hard 


THE   CAREER  OF   CANDIDA.  193 

all  day  to  keep  her  in  comfort,  it  is  rather  unreason- 
able to  expect  me  to  take  her  out  nearly  every 
evening.  I  think  she  might  be  contented  to  bear 
me  company  in  her  own  home.  You  might  as  well 
put  a  horse  to  plough  in  the  daytime,  and  expect 
him  to  perform  in  a  circus  at  night." 

"  I  dare  say  it  does  seem  rather  hard,"  said  Candida, 
thoughtfully.  "But  I  suppose  it  is  natural  that  she 
should  crave  for  a  little  excitement,  considering  how 
stimulating  her  life  has  been  during  the  past  few 
years.  And  remember,  that  while  you  are  working 
at  an  interesting  profession,  Sabina  is  engaged  in  a 
much  more  wearisome  pursuit ;  I  mean,  in  doing 
nothing." 

"  She  has  her  house  and  servants  to  look  after." 

"Yes,  but  no  human  being  can  spend  twelve  or 
fourteen  hours  a  day  in  ordering  a  dinner  for  two 
persons." 

"  I  wish  she  had  a  taste  for  reading,  like  you,"  he 
said.  "  I  don't  believe  she  ever  reads  anything  but 
novels  and  society  papers.  Yet  she  is  naturally  very 
quick  and  clever ;  she  might  be  an  excellent  com- 
panion if  only  she  would  give  herself  a  chance." 

"  Well,  you  see,"  returned  Candida,  apologetically, 
"  girls  are  always  having  it  dinned  into  them  that  men 
hate  clever  women,  so,  naturally,  they  try  to  appear 
as  silly  and  ignorant  as  they  possibly  can.  Man's 
taste,  we  know,  is  woman's  test.  If  you  happen  to 
prefer  a  cultivated  intelligent  human  being  to  a  human 


194  THE  CAREER  OF  CANDIDA. 

goose,  why,  you  must  expect  to  suffer  for  the  eccen- 
tricity of  your  taste.  But  as  for  Sabina,  she  is  really 
clever  enough  for  two  ;  she  only  pretends  to  be  silly 
because  she  likes  to  be  popular." 

"Yes,"  he  said,  his  face  softening,  "of  course 
she  likes  gaiety  and  fun  better  than  books  or  serious 
talk.  She  is  so  young  and  pretty,  it  is  only  natural 
she  should  want  to  enjoy  herself,  and  I  don't  really 
grudge  it  to  her,  though  I  do  grumble  now  and  then. 
She  will  grow  old  and  sober  down  quite  soon  enough, 
and  then  we  shall  be  able  to  play  Darby  and  Joan 
for  the  rest  of  our  lives." 


CHAPTER  XVII. 

The  return  to  Heme  Vale  marked  the  beginning  of 
a  new  epoch  in  Candida's  life.  Her  long  walks  had 
to  be  curtailed,  and  part  of  the  time  hitherto  bestowed 
upon  her  books  was  now  devoted  to  a  more  domestic 
occupation.  She  was  learning  to  sew,  and  proving 
herself  a  very  dull  pupil.  Nothing  but  the  most 
dogged  industry  and  determination  could  have 
brought  those  strong  unpractised  fingers  to  set  dainty 
stitches  and  run  Liliputian  tucks.  But  though  progress 
was  slow  and  painful,  the  art  was  gradually  acquired, 
and  Candida  declared  that  since  the  day  on  which 
she  had  first  succeeded  in  circling  round  the  three 
trapezes,  she  had  never  felt  so  proud  and  triumphant 
as  when  she  made  a  tiny  frock  alone  and  unaided, 
and  was  assured  by  her  mother-in-law  that  it  was 
«  not  at  all  bad." 

It  was  well  that  she  had  so  engrossing  an  occupa- 
tion to  divert  her  attention  from  the  clouds  that  had 
begun  to  gather  upon  her  horizon.  It  was  a  time  of 
general  depression,  if  not  panic,  in  the  financial  world, 


196  THE  CAREER   OF  CANDIDA. 

and  Adrian  looked  every  day  more  anxious  and 
harassed.  He  was  often  detained  late  at  the  office, 
and  occasionally  dined  and  slept  in  town.  The 
Saturday  outings  had  been  given  up,  partly  because 
ready  money  was  so  scarce,  partly  because  they  were 
not  thought  prudent  in  the  present  state  of  Candida's 
health.  Adrian,  though  almost  invariably  courteous 
and  considerate  to  his  wife,  had  gradually  relinquished 
his  lover-like  ways,  and  no  longer  showed  any  special 
desire  for  her  society.  Candida  tried  to  shut  her 
eyes  to  his  growing  indifference,  and  to  console 
herself  with  the  thought  that  the  alteration  in  his 
behaviour  was  chiefly  due  to  his  preoccupation  with 
business  worries.  She  assured  herself  that  when  their 
affairs  improved,  and  still  more  when  their  child  was 
born,  the  old  affection  would  revive,  and  all  would  be 
well  with  them  once  again. 

A  few  weeks  after  their  return,  however,  an  incident 
occurred  which  sowed  fresh  seeds  of  uneasiness  in  her 
mind.  Having  occasion  to  go  to  town  for  a  morning's 
shopping,  she  took  the  opportunity  of  paying  a  long- 
promised  visit  to  her  former  colleague.  Miss  Mason, 
who  had  lately  taken  a  flat  at  Earl's  Court.  That 
lady,  declaring  that  her  visitor  must  be  moped  to 
death  at  Heme  Vale,  and  that  a  glimpse  of  the  world 
would  do  her  good,  had  insisted  upon  carrying  her  off 
to  Olympia.  There  they  were  to  have  tea,  and  amuse 
themselves  for  an  hour  with  the  humours  of  the  crowd. 
But  the  humours  of  the  crowd  turned  out  to  be  rather 


THE   CAREER  OF  CANDIDA.  197 

more  sensational  than  Candida  had  either  expected  or 
desired. 

At  a  little  table,  not  far  from  that  at  which  the  two 
friends  had  settled  themselves,  a  man  and  a  girl  were 
seated.  The  girl  was  pretty  and  quietly  dressed,  with 
a  touch  of  refinement  about  her  manner  and  appear- 
ance. The  man  was  sitting  with  his  back  to  Candida; 
but  his  figure  was  too  familiar  an  aspect  to  leave  her 
for  an  instant  in  doubt  as  to  his  identity.  It  was  her 
husband. 

A  sensation  of  sickness  and  dizziness  stole  over  her 
as  she  noticed  the  einpressement  of  his  manner  towards 
his  companion,  and  his  evident  delight  in  her  society  ; 
it  was  so  exactly  the  attitude  that  he  had  assumed 
towards  herself  when  they  visited  such  places  together, 
only  a  few  short  months  before. 

The  pair  were  obviously  wrapped  up  in  each  other; 
and  Candida's  heart  ached  as  she  saw  the  girl's  eyes 
melt  and  soften  when  she  met  her  companion's  glance^ 
Presently  a  bunch  of  Neapolitan  violets  was  trans- 
ferred from  Adrian's  coat  to  the  front  of  the  girl's 
black  dress.  Violets  !  Candida  started  as  she  remem- 
bered that  her  husband  had  more  than  once  breathed 
the  name  of  Violet  in  his  sleep.  She  had  guessed  that 
a  Violet  must  have  been  among  his  early  loves,  but 
she  had  never  cared  to  question  him  upon  the  subject. 

"  I — I  am  tired,"  she  said  to  her  friend.  "  I  think  I 
had  better  go  home  now.  I  can  catch  the  five-thirty 
from  Victoria." 


198  THE  CAREER  OF   CANDIDA. 

On  her  arrival  at  Forest  Lodge  she  found  a  tele- 
gram from  Adrian  to  say  that  business  would  keep 
him  at  the  office  until  late,  and  that  he  should  dine 
and  sleep  in  town.  It  was  not  until  the  next  evening 
that  she  had  the  opportunity  of  a  few  words  alone 
with  him. 

"  You  have  never  inquired  how  I  got  on  in  town 
yesterday,"  she  began,  speaking  with  a  nervous- 
ness that  was  more  on  his  account  than  her  own. 
"  After  I  finished  my  shopping,  I  went  to  see  Miss 
Mason,  and  she  insisted  on  taking  me  to  tea  at 
Olympia." 

He  started  slightly,  and  threw  a  quick  glance  at 
her. 

"  Olympia  1 "  he  said,  with  assumed  carelessness. 
"Wasn't  that  rather  imprudent  ?  " 

"  I  don't  think  I'm  the  worse  for  it.  I  wanted  to 
tell  you  that  I  saw  you  there.  I  suppose  you  didn't 
see  me  ?  " 

"  No;  I  saw  no  one  I  knew  except  the  acquaintance 
I  was  with.     Did  you  notice  her  ?  " 

"  Yes,  I  thought  she  was  very  pretty.  I  wondered 
if  she  was  Violet." 

"  Violet ! "  he  repeated,  turning  sharply  upon  her. 
"  What  do  you  know  about  Violet  ?  Has  any  one 
been  trying  to  make  mischief  between  us  ?  " 

"  No ;  you  are  the  only  person  that  has  ever 
mentioned  her  to  me.  You  have  sometimes  uttered 
her  name  in  your  sleep.      I  should   not  have  said 


THE   CAREER  OF  CANDIDA.  199 

anything  about  it  if  I  had  not  seen  you  yesterday 
with  a  girl  to  whom  you  gave  some  violets.  Does 
she  know  that  you  are  married  ?  " 

"  Yes — no — I  forget ;  but  you  really  needn't 
trouble  your  head  about  her.  She  is  a  little  girl 
whom  I  had  a  flirtation  with  long  ago,  before  I  knew 
you.  I  hadn't  seen  her  for  ages,  till  I  met  her  in 
Oxford  Street  yesterday ;  and  she  asked  me  to  take 
her  to  Olympia  for  old  acquaintance'  sake.  As  I  told 
you,  I  was  obliged  to  stop  and  dine  with  a  fellow  at 
the  Club,  so  I  thought  I  might  as  well  spend  the 
afternoon  at  Olympia  as  anywhere  else.  Perhaps  I 
was  foolish  ;  but  you  don't  think  it  so  very  wrong,  do 
you,  now  that  you  know  the  whole  story  ?  " 

"  No,  of  course  not,"  agreed  Candida.  "  Yet — yet 
I  can't  help  thinking  about  that  poor  girl ;  she  had 
such  a  pretty,  pathetic  little  face,  and  looked  so  over- 
flowing with  happiness  at  being  with  you.  I  think 
you  ought  to  tell  her  you  are  married  ;  it  might  save 
her  from  a  great  disappointment" 

"  What  a  queer  girl  you  are ! "  he  said,  looking  at 
her  with  mingled  amusement  and  surprise.  "  Most 
women  would  have  been  ready  to  scratch  her  eyes 
out  of  her  head.  The  fact  of  my  marriage  doesn't 
concern  her  in  the  slightest  degree,  and  there's  no 
occasion  for  you  to  worry  about  her  at  all.  She's  not 
a  lady,  you  know,  only  a  little  girl  out  of  a  shop,  and 
she  probably  goes  out  with  a  different  fellow  every 
Saturday  afternoon." 


aoo  THE   CAREER   OF  CANDIDA. 

Candida  was  silent  for  a  moment.  She  was  only 
too  willing  to  believe  her  husband's  statement,  yet 
she  could  not  forget  what  she  had  seen  with  her  own 
eyes. 

"  I  don't  want  you  to  think  me  foolishly  suspicious," 
she  said  at  length.  "Only  I  couldn't  help  fancying 
that  you  were  attracted  by  this  girl,  and  I  wanted  to 
tell  you  that  I  could  understand  that — that  you  may 
have  difficulties  and  temptations  to  contend  with, 
which  you  would  naturally  shrink  from  confiding  to 
me.  I  have  often  thought  that  to  a  man,  and 
particularly  a  man  of  your  temperament,  the  calm 
affection  of  married  life  must  seem  sober  prose  indeed 
compared  with  the  glamour  and  romance  of  dawning 
love.  Don't  you  remember  the  days  when  you  and  I 
were  just  hovering  on  the  borders  of  passion,  when 
everything  was  vague,  tentative,  uncertain,  when  our 
silence  said  so  much  more  than  our  speech,  and  when 
the  touch  of  our  hands  seemed  to  reveal  hidden 
secrets  in  life  ?  And  don't  you  remember  the  first 
word  of  love,  how  it  altered  the  aspect  of  the  whole 
world  ?  and  the  first  kiss,  what  a  soul-shaking  event 
it  was  ?  Nothing  can  ever  equal  the  early  spring  of 
love,  and  I  can  quite  understand  that  a  man,  without 
being  naturally  sensual  or  inconstant,  may  feel  an 
irresistible  desire  to  repeat  the  experience." 

She  paused,  but  Adrian  was  staring  into  the  fire, 
and  did  not  speak. 

"  Even  I,"  she  went  on  hesitatingly — "  yes,  even  I 


THE  CAREER  OF  CANDIDA.  201 

a  woman,  and  therefore  by  nature  and  training 
colder  and  more  self-restrained  than  a  man,  have 
sometimes  felt  that  if  a  lover,  young,  impetuous  and 
adoring  as  you  were  in  early  days,  were  to  set  himself 
to  win  me  from  my  allegiance,  it  might  cost  me  a 
sharp  struggle  to  resist  him,  to  shut  my  heart  to  all 
the  delights  of  unfamiliar  tenderness,  all  the  glories 
of  a  newly-awakened  love." 

"  You  dare  to  tell  me  that ! "  cried  Adrian,  the 
blood  rushing  to  his  face. 

"  Perhaps  it  is  foolish  to  be  so  frank,  even  with 
one's  husband.  But  I  only  wanted  to  show  you  that 
I  could  enter  into  what  seem  to  be  very  natural 
feelings,  and  make  allowance  for  involuntary  weak- 
nesses. If  I  knew  that  you  were  harassed  and  beset 
by  any  temptation  that  you  were  trying  to  resist,  I 
should  be  so  ready  and  willing  to  help  you  if  I  could. 
I  would  not  look  for  any  signs  of  affection  at  such  a 
time,  nor  be  hurt  by  any  coldness  or  neglect.  Only 
let  me  know  the  truth,  and  you  will  never  find  me 
hard  or  unforgiving.  And  if  the  warning  does  not 
come  too  late,  stop  before  you  lead  that  poor  pretty 
thing  into  any  trouble.  It  is  easy  to  see  that  you 
have  won  her  fancy,  and  I  should  not  imagine  that 
she  had  a  very  strong  character,  so  that  it  is  for  you 
to  protect  her  against  herself." 

"  You  talk  as  if  she  were  your  sister,"  he  said, 
with  rather  a  forced  laugh.  "  But  I  tell  you  the 
girl   is    nothing  to  me,  nor   I    to    her,  so  far    as    I 


2oa  THE   CAREER   OF  CANDIDA. 

know.      So    pray    make    your   mind    easy   on    the 
subject." 

'  "  Of  course,  I  believe  you,"  she  answered.  "  You 
pride  yourself  on  being  a  man  of  honour,  and  there- 
fore you  would  not  stoop  to  lie  to  a  woman,  even 
though  she  is  your  wife." 

He  flushed  slightly,  and  his  eyes  dropped  before 
hers,  but  he  only  answered  carelessly — 

"  That  is  a  good,  sensible  girl.  I  knew  you  were 
not  likely  to  make  a  fuss  about  nothing ;  I  have 
always  found  you  willing  to  listen  to  reason." 


CHAPTER  XVIII. 

Early  in  the  new  year  the  time  of  trial  came  and 
passed,  and  was  straightway  forgotten  in  the  joy  and 
pride  of  motherhood.  The  child  was  a  boy,  as 
Candida  had  hoped,  the  world  being,  as  she  some- 
times said,  not  yet  ripe  for  women.  The  young 
mother  had  done  marvellously  well,  according  to 
the  doctor  who  attended  her,  and  who,  being  a 
conservative,  old-fashioned  man,  felt  but  a  grudging 
admiration  for  her  splendid  physique  and  elastic 
constitution.  He  was  not  at  all  sure  that  he  approved 
of  such  comparative  immunity  from  pain  and  weak- 
ness at  the  time  of  peril.  In  his  opinion  there  was 
something  unfeminine  about  it ;  the  Churching  service 
would  lose  all  meaning  if  the  majority  of  women 
were  like  Mrs.  Sylvester,  and  the  most  lucrative 
branch  of  the  medical  profession  would  be  shorn  of 
much  of  its  profit.  Still,  he  could  not  deny  that  his 
patient  was  as  happy  and  devoted  a  mother  as  any 
of  the  "womanly"   women  who  so  nearly  slipped 


204  THE  CAREER   OF   CANDIDA. 

through  his  fingers,  and  wrung  even  his  callous  old 
heart  in  their  hour  of  agony, 

•  When  Candida  was  about  again  the  Branksmead 
party  came  up  to  spend  the  day,  and  make  the 
acquaintance  of  the  new  member  of  the  family.  The 
boy,  who  was  to  be  called  Roland,  after  his  grand- 
father, had  received  unlimited  admiration  and 
adulation  of  an  undiscriminating  nature  from  the 
female  members  of  his  household,  but  his  father  had 
hitherto  held  aloof,  criticized  the  shape  of  his  nose 
and  the  size  of  his  mouth,  and  positively  refused  to 
handle  him.  But  Mr.  St.  John,  much  to  the  young 
mother's  delight,  took  his  grandson  fearlessly  in  his 
arms,  examined  his  points,  carefully  measured  him 
from  top  to  toe,  and  ordered  up  the  kitchen  scales  to 
weigh  him  in.  When  he  was  solemnly  pronounced  to 
be  three  pounds  heavier,  and  an  inch  and  a  half  longer 
than  the  normal  male  infant  of  his  age,  Candida 
became  as  radiant  as  a  young  debutante  who  hears 
that  she  has  been  adjudged  the  belle  of  her  first  ball. 

"He  will  be  just  like  you,  father,"  she  said — "a 
true  St  John.  Look  what  broad  shoulders,  and  what 
a  deep  chest  he  has.  And  his  spine  is  so  strong  that 
he  tries  to  sit  up  already." 

It  was  a  material  addition  to  Candida's  happiness 
that  she  was  at  ease  for  the  moment  about  the  extra 
expenses  entailed  upon  the  household.  Her  god- 
mother had  sent  her  a  cheque  which  covered  the 
doctor's  and  nurses'  fees,  and  enabled  her  to  lay  by  a 


THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA.  205 

portion  of  her  allowance  to  meet  future  calls  upon 
her  purse.  There  was  a  nursemaid  to  be  hired,  a 
baby-carriage  to  be  bought,  and  then  it  was  so  hard 
to  pass  unheeding  those  tempting  shop-windows  in 
which  were  displayed  the  most  fairy-like  of  em- 
broideries, the  daintiest  of  cloaks  and  hoods.  Though 
she  sometimes  fell  a  victim  to  vicarious  vanity,  she 
restrained  her  extravagant  impulses  to  the  best  of 
her  ability,  for  there  were  many  necessary  demands 
upon  her  small  means.  Apparently  the  depression 
still  continued  in  the  money-market^  for  Adrian  made 
no  proposal  to  contribute  anything  towards  her 
personal  expenses. 

"  I  can  manage  to  pay  the  nurse's  wages  out  of 
my  allowance  as  long  as  you  are  short  of  money," 
she  had  told  him,  when  that  functionary  was  first 
engaged.  "But,  of  course,  you  will  arrange  with 
your  mother  about  payment  for  the  extra  expense 
that  we  shall  cause  her.  There  is  the  nurse's  board, 
you  know,  and  more  should  be  paid  for  my  keep  for 
some  months  to  come." 

"  I  will  see  to  it ;  you  needn't  trouble  about  it," 
Adrian  had  replied.  "  In  fact,  I  have  already  settled 
the  matter  with  my  mother.  You  had  better  not 
speak  to  her  on  the  subject,  as  it  only  makes  her 
uncomfortable.  By  the  way,"  he  added  after  a  pause, 
"you  must  be  rather  dull  now  that  you  are  tied  at 
home  so  much.  Wouldn't  you  like  to  invite  a  friend 
down  here  for*  a  few  days  ?  I  dare  say  Mrs.  Ferrars 
14 


2o6  THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA. 

would  come  if  you  asked  her ;  Ted  must  be  on 
circuit  just  now." 

Candida  fell  in  with  the  suggestion  readily  enough, 
feeling  touched  and  grateful  by  her  husband's  thought- 
fulness  on  her  account.  Sabina  accepted  the  invita- 
tion, and  brought  her  pretty  face,  her  smart  frocks, 
and  her  high  spirits  to  enliven  the  little  household 
for  the  space  of  a  week.  She  was  looking  par- 
ticularly well,  and  seemed  more  contented  than  she 
had  been  in  the  summer.  Ted,  she  explained,  was 
very  much  improved  ;  in  fact,  he  was  turning  into 
quite  a  model  husband. 

.  "  He  lets  me  go  out  as  much  as  I  like,"  she  said  ; 
"pays  my  bills  without  a  murmur,  and  never  tries  to 
make  me  read  improving  books.  He  seems  to  have 
made  up  his  mind  to  take  me  as  I  am,  and  make  the 
best  of  me." 

"  I  hope  he  gets  rewarded  for  his  good  behaviour,*' 
observed  Candida. 

"  Oh  yes,  I  always  give  him  good  dinners,  and  see 
that  his  buttons  are  sewn  on.  He  ought  to  be 
satisfied,  because  men  always  give  out  that  all  they 
want  in  a  wife  is  a  pretty  good-tempered  woman  who 
will  attend  to  their  creature  comforts." 

"  Yes,  but  Ted  is  different  from  the  average  man," 
said  Candida,  thoughtfully.  "  He  used  to  have  ideas 
about  making  a  companion  of  his  wife ;  he  never 
gave  out  that  he  wanted  a  useful  toy  or  an 
ornamental  housekeeper." 


THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA.  207 

"Well,  that's  very  much  what  he  has  got,"  laughed 
Sabina.  "  But,  of  course,  the  supply  corresponds  with 
the  demand,  and  the  individual  must  expect  to  suffer 
if  his  demands  are  above  those  of  his  fellows." 

Adrian,  who,  in  his  character  of  host,  had  exerted 
himself  to  entertain  the  visitor,  and  make  her  stay 
agreeable  to  her,  relapsed  after  her  departure  into 
more  unsociable  ways.  He  seemed  to  take  but  the 
faintest  interest  in  his  child,  and  spent  the  greater 
part  of  his  time  in  town.  His  health  began  to 
deteriorate  again,  and  Candida  realized  with  bitter 
disappointment  that  she  no  longer  had  the  slightest 
influence  over  him,  and  that  the  birth  of  their  child 
had  not  had  the  expected  result  of  binding  them 
more  closely  together.  Still,  she  had  no  overt  wrong 
to  complain  of.  Her  husband,  when  at  home,  was 
invariably  pleasant  and  courteous  both  to  herself  and 
to  his  mother  and  sisters,  but  at  the  same  time  he 
availed  himself  of  every  opportunity  of  escaping  from 
the  domestic  circle,  and  Candida  could  hardly  bring 
herself  to  blame  him  for  his  neglect.  Now  that  love 
had  died  out  between  them,  the  society  of  three 
women  and  a  baby  must,  she  realized,  prove  insup- 
portably  dull  to  a  man  of  his  age  and  temperament. 

This  vaguely  unsatisfactory  period  lasted  for  some 
weeks,  and  then  a  new  experience  befell  her.  Adrian 
had  gone  to  dine  at  a  bachelor-party  given  by  a 
stockbroker  friend  in  the  neighbourhood,  and  had 
left  orders  that  no  one  should  sit  up  for  him.     About 


2o8  THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA. 

two  o'clock  Candida,  sleeping  with  her  child  in  the 
room  that  was  now  called  the  night-nursery,  was 
awakened  by  the  sound  of  voices  in  the  front  garden, 
and  the  turning  of  the  key  in  the  lock. 

"There,  now  you're  all  right,  aren't  you,  old 
fellow  ?  "  said  a  strange  voice.  "  Good  night.  Hope 
you  won't  be  the  worse  for  this  to-morrow." 

The  door  creaked  on  its  hinges,  and  there  was  the 
sound  of  uncertain  steps  in  the  hall  below.  Candida 
listened  for  the  scratch  of  a  lucifer,  but  hearing 
nothing  but  the  noise  of  collisions  with  the  hall 
furniture,  got  up,  fearing  she  scarcely  knew  what;  and 
went  downstairs.  She  found  her  husband  apparently 
searching  for  the  matchbox  in  the  umbrella-stand. 

"  That  you,  my  dear  ? "  he  said  with  a  curiously 
pompous  inflection  on  perceiving  her.  "Sorry  to 
have  dish-disturbed  you  so  late.  Great  deal  of 
business  talk  after  dinner — great  deal — great " 

He  gave  a  slight  lurch  towards  her,  but  instantly 
recovered  himself,  and  stood  more  rigidly  upright 
than  before. 

"Couldn't  find  the  mash-matchbox,"  he  went  on, 
still  with  the  same  portentous  solemnity  of  tone, 
*•  It's  such  a — such  a  silly  mashbox." 

He  gave  a  sudden  unexpected  little  titter,  which 
Candida,  much  to  her  own  surprise,  involuntarily 
echoed.  Her  husband's  condition  was  now  only  too 
obvious,  and  her  first  sensation  was  one  of  relief  that 
the  sight  of  him  no  more  aroused   in  her  a   feeling 


THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA.  209 

of  scorn  or  disgust  than  would  the  sight  of  a  delirious 
fever  patient,  or  an  encounter  with  an  "  innocent "  in  a 
village  street.  Had  she  still  loved  him  the  spectacle 
of  him  as  he  now  was  might  have  gone  near  to 
breaking  her  heart ;  but  as  things  were,  only  her 
feminine  instincts  of  compassion  and  helpfulness 
were  called  forth  by  the  sight  of  his  infirmity,  and 
the  efforts  of  the  human  in  him  to  assert  itself  over 
the  fuddled  brute,  or,  at  least,  to  conceal  the 
fuddlement.  Her  only  thought  was  how  she  could 
best  aid  him  in  that  pathetic  struggle,  support  his 
tottering  self-respect,  and  keep  up  the  illusion  that 
there  was  nothing  unusual  in  his  manner  or  appear- 
ance. 

"Yes,  some  matchboxes  are  silly,"  she  agreed, 
scarcely  knowing  what  she  said,  so  anxious  was  she 
to  "  play  up  to  him  "  in  the  squalid  little  drama.  "  I 
will  light  your  candle.  You  must  be  quite  tired  out 
after  so  much  business  talk,  and  longing  to  get  to 
bed." 

She  put  her  hand  under  his  arm,  and  guided  his 
uncertain  steps  to  the  foot  of  the  staircase.  With 
the  support  of  the  banisters  on  one  side,  and  herself 
on  the  other,  she  thought  that  he  would  be  capable 
of  making  the  ascent  without  any  such  noise  as 
would  be  likely  to  alarm  the  household.  But,  to  her 
dismay,  he  halted  at  the  bottom  of  the  flight,  and 
bent  his  knees  as  though  he  were  about  to  sit  down 
on  the  lowest  step. 


210  THE   CAREER  OF   CANDIDA. 

**  Yes,  very  exhausting  evening,"  he  murmured  in- 
distinctly. "  And  most  unsatis — satisfractry.  Some 
of  the  other  fellows — took  too  mush — mush  too 
mush — to  drink.     Such  a  sad  sight— painful  sight." 

"  Yes,  it  must  have  been,"  agreed  Candida,  holding 
him  on  his  feet  by  main  force,  for  if  once  he  sat  down 
she  was  afraid  she  would  be  unable  to  get  him  on 
his  legs  again  without  assistance.  "  I  am  afraid  you 
are  feeling  a  little  faint — I  dare  say  the  room  was  hot 
— but  try  and  walk  upstairs.  You  will  be  so  much 
more  comfortable  in  bed,  and  I  want  to  get  back 
to  baby  before  he  wakes." 

Fortunately  his  natural  instincts  of  courtesy  and 
compliance,  so  far  from  being  destroyed,  were  rather 
accentuated  by  his  condition.  The  entreaty  in  his 
wife's  voice  had  power  to  reach  his  brain  through  the 
fumes  that  obscured  it.  By  a  determined  effort  of  his 
half-stupefied  will,  he  planted  his  foot  on  the  first 
stair,  and,  partly  carried,  partly  dragged  by  his  wife, 
struggled  up  to  the  top  with  less  noise  than  might 
have  been  expected. 

But  even  now  Candida's  troubles  were  not  at  an 
end.  The  sight  of  the  half-open  door  of  the  night- 
nursery,  and  the  light  burning  within,  started  a  new 
train  of  thought  in  her  husband's  mind. 

"  I  want  to  go  and  say  goo — night  to  my  little 
son,"  he  remarked  in  sentimental  tones.  "Just  to 
kish — kiss  him  in  his  sleep." 

"  No,  no ;  you   would    wake  him,"   said   Candida, 


THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA.  211 

hastily,  shuddering  at  the  very  idea  of  that  spirituous 
breath  scorching  her  baby's  cheek.  "  Wait  till  to- 
morrow morning." 

"Oh,  you  are  unkind,"  said  Adrian,  reproachfully, 
as  she  guided  him  into  his  own  room,  "  not  to  let  me 
k  sh  my  little  son." 

He  suddenly  sat  down  on  the  end  of  the  bed,  and 
burst  into  tears.  Candida,  recognizing  that  it  would 
be  useless  to  reason  with  him,  knelt  down  and  pulled 
oflf  his  muddy  boots,  while  he  sat  with  his  hands 
covering  his  face,  and  the  tears  streaming  through 
his  fingers.  When  at  length  she  had  contrived,  with 
infinite  toil  and  difficulty,  to  get  him  into  bed,  he 
sank  almost  at  once  into  a  heavy,  uneasy  slumber. 
Fearing  to  leave  him  alone,  lest  he  should  wake,  and 
try  to  light  a  candle,  or  wander  about  the  house,  she 
opened  the  door  into  her  own  room,  that  she  might 
hear  if  her  child  cried,  and  then  established  her- 
self in  an  armchair,  where  she  sat  till  dawn,  listen- 
ing to  the  stertorous  breathing  of  the  man  on  the 
bed. 

The  next  morning  Adrian  did  not  make  his  appear- 
ance at  the  breakfast-table. 

"  He  was  late  last  night,"  explained  Candida. 
"  And  he  has  a  bad  headache  this  morning.  He  will 
be  down  presently,  but  he  doesn't  feel  equal  to  going 
up  to  town." 

She  threw  a  furtive  glance  at  her  mother-in-law,  and 
encountered  another  as  furtive. 


212  THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA. 

"Adrian  has  always  been  subject  to  bad  head- 
aches," observed  Mrs.  Sylvester ;  "  and  late  hours 
never  did  agree  with  him." 

When  at  last  Adrian  made  his  appearance,  Candida 
could  with  difficulty  express  a  shiver  of  disgust  as  she 
noted  his  swollen  bloodshot  eyes  and  sodden  skin. 
His  shaking  hand  could  hardly  carry  his  cup  to  his 
mouth,  and  it  was  with  difficulty  that  he  choked  down 
a  few  morsels  of  dry  toast.  His  mother  and  sisters 
were  full  of  pity  for  his  evident  sufferings,  and  Can- 
dida felt  that  they  regarded  her  as  hard  and  callous 
because  she  did  not  join  the  chorus  of  sympathy  and 
regret. 

When  at  length  she  was  left  alone  with  her  hus- 
band, he  looked  up  at  her  with  a  deprecatory  smile. 

"  I'm  afraid  I  gave  you  a  lot  of  bother  last  night," 
he  said.  "  I  can  only  urge  as  an  excuse  for  my 
conduct,  that  it's  the  first  time  I've  come  home  like 
that  since  we  were  married,  and  that's  fifteen  months 
ago." 

"  You  have  been  very  considerate,"  she  replied. 

"  You  can't  judge  a  man  by  a  woman's  standard, 
you  know,"  he  went  on.  "  At  least,  if  you  tried  to 
you'd  make  him  less  of  a  man  than  a  molly-coddle." 

She  looked  at  him  for  a  moment,  but  answered 
nothing.  He  was  quick  enough  to  understand  her 
unspoken  thought. 

"You're  thinking  that  I'm  not  a  particularly 
brilliant    specimen   of   manhood    this   morning,"   he 


THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA.  213 

said  good-humouredly.  "  Well,  I'm  afraid  I'm  hardly 
in  a  fit  state  to  argue  the  point.  I  feel  all  head  and 
and  no  legs." 

The  amiability  of  his  mood,  taken  in  conjunction 
with  his  obvious  physical  discomfort,  did  not  fail  to 
make  its  impression  on  Candida's  mind,  in  spite  of 
her  natural  feeling  of  repulsion  and  distaste.  Her 
sense  of  justice,  no  less  than  of  generosity,  urged  her 
to  give  credit  where  credit  was  due  ;  besides,  the  fact 
that  a  man  was  down  was,  in  her  opinion,  a  reason 
for  giving  him  a  fillip  rather  than  a  kick. 

"  You  are  the  best-tempered  person  I  ever  met, 
man  or  woman,"  she  observed.  "  I  hope  our  boy  will 
inherit  a  share  of  your  amiability." 

Adrian  stared  at  her  for  a  moment,  scarcely  able  to 
believe  his  ears,  her  character  being  as  completely  a 
riddle  to  him  as  in  the  first  hour  of  their  acquaintance. 
He  had  expected,  been  fully  prepared  for  blame  and 
reproaches,  but  to  hear  instead  of  either  an  aspiration 
that  her  idolized  child  might  be  like  him  in  any  par- 
ticular, constituted  a  treatment  that  puzzled  and 
well-nigh  alarmed  him. 

"The  heir-apparent  will  be  well-advised  to  take 
after  his  mother,"  he  said  lightly.  "You're  a  good 
fellow,  Candida  ;  most  women  would  have  nagged 
my  head  off  this  morning.  Ugh,  that  must  have 
been  vile  champagne  of  Warner's ;  it  couldn't  have 
been  the  whisky.  We  had  liqueurs,  though,  and  they 
always  play  the  deuce  with  me." 


214  THE   CAREER  OF   CANDIDA. 

He  looked  so  sick  and  sorry,  that  the  ministering 
impulse  awoke  again  in  Candida's  breast. 

"  You'd  like  some  soda-water,"  she  said.  "  I'll  fetch 
you  a  bottle.  And  hadn't  you  better  lie  down,  and 
have  an  eau-de-Cologne-and-water  bandage  on  your 
head?  Then  if  I  read  aloud  to  you  for  a  little  while 
you'll  probably  go  to  sleep.  That's  how  I  used  to 
doctor  Sabina  when  she  had  a  headache." 

"When  she  had  been  making  a  night  of  it,  I 
thought  you  were  going  to  say,"  he  laughed,  as  he 
threw  himself  on  the  sofa.  "  Did  our  lovely  Sabina 
ever  make  a  night  of  it,  I  wonder?  Dear  Candida," 
he  added,  as  she  brought  him  the  soda-water,  "  I'm 
so  awfully  obliged  to  you  for  giving  me  a  cooling 
drink  instead  of  a  scolding.  I  can't  think  how  you 
can  resist  the  temptation  to  say  a  word  in  season, 
or  something  equally  unpleasant,  entirely  for  my  own 
good." 

"  I  used  to  think  a  woman  might  influence  a  man 
for  his  own  good,"  she  answered;  "  but  that  was  when 
I  was  a  foolish  inexperienced  girl.  I  am  wiser  now. 
If  you  can  disregard  the  warnings  your  doctor  has 
given  you,  you  will  heed  no  words  of  mine." 


CHAPTER  XIX. 

Easter  fell  late  that  year.  The  spring  months  had 
been  unusually  sultry,  ahd  the  small  rooms  at  Forest 
Lodge  felt  almost  unbearably  warm  and  close. 
Candida  began  to  long  for  a  breath  of  Country  air, 
both  on  her  own  account  and  upon  that  of  her  child, 
whose  cheeks  were  gradually  losing  their  colour  and 
roundness.  Branksmead  was  always  open  to  her  ;  but 
she  shrank  from  going  home  now,  knowing  that  she 
could  no  longer  meet  her  father's  eyes,  and  assert  that 
she  was  still  happy  in  her  marriage.  It  was  a  great 
relief,  therefore,  when  Adrian  announced  one  day  that 
a  friend  had  offered  to  lend  him  a  cottage  in  Surrey 
for  the  Ea:ster  holidays. 

"  It's  an  out-of-the-way  place,  I  believe,"  he  said, 
"  and  a  long  way  from  the  station.  But  I'm  told  that 
there's  a  large  garden,  and  the  air  is  said  to  be  good." 

"Oh, it  sounds  delightful!"  cried  Candida.  "It  will 
be  the  very  thing  for  Roley.  I  have  been  longing  to 
take  him  away  somewhere." 

"  It    will    be     precious    dull,"    observed    Adrian. 


2i6  THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA. 

"  Couldn't  we  ask  some  lively  person  to  come  and 
cheer  us  up  ?     We  shall  have  a  spare  room." 

"  I  thought  you  would  ask  one  of  your  sisters,  if 
there  was  room.  Fanny  would  be  the  better  for  a 
change." 

"  Good  heavens  !  "  he  exclaimed.  "  We  don't  want 
to  take  the  whole  family  with  us  when  we  go  out  for 
a  holiday.  Besides,  Fanny  is  going  to  stay  with  a 
friend  at  Sutton,  and  Louisa  will  be  wanted  at  home. 
No ;  can't  you  suggest  some  one  who  would  keep  up 
our  spirits  and  her  own  too?  It  had  better  be  a 
woman,  because  a  man  would  be  bored  by  the  baby." 
Candida  considered  for  a  moment. 
"  Most  of  my  friends  are  working  women,  who 
would  only  get  a  few  days  at  Easter,"  she  said.  "  I 
can't  think  of  any  one  except  Sabina ;  but  I  fancy 
Ted  would  be  at  home,  and  she  might  not  like  to 
leave  him." 

•'  Probably  not,"  returned  Adrian,  carelessly.  "But 
it  might  be  just  worth  while  asking  her.  If  she  can't 
come,  we  must  try  and  find  somebody  else." 

But,  as  it  turned  out,  Sabina  was  able  to  accept  the 
invitation.  Ted,  it  appeared,  had  arranged  to  go  for 
a  walking  tour  with  a  couple  of  friends,  so  that  she 
would  be  left  alone.  She  should  thoroughly  enjoy 
having  Candida  and  the  dear  baby  all  to  herself.  She 
supposed  that  Mr.  Sylvester  would  have  to  go  up  to 
town  nearly  every  day. 

The  holiday  passed   off  pleasantly  enough.     The 


THE   CAREER  OF  CANDIDA.  2.7 

cottage  was  comfortable,  the  neighbourhood  abounded 
in  woods  and  commons,  while  the  weather  was  suffi- 
ciently accommodating  to  allow  the  visitors  to  spend 
most  of  their  time  out  of  doors.  Candida  contented 
herself  for  the  most  part  with  the  garden  and  the 
nearest  lanes,  where  she  could  wheel  Rolcy  in  his 
carriage,  while  the  others  took  long  rambles  and 
explored  the  surrounding  country.  The  only  draw- 
back to  the  outing  was  the  fact  that  Sabina  was 
obliged  to  cut  short  her  visit  at  the  end  of  ten  days, 
and  return  to  town.  The  servants  had  been  quarrel- 
ling, she  explained,  in  response  to  entreaties  that  she 
would  stay  till  the  end  of  the  fortnight ;  and  there 
was  something  wrong  with  the  kitchen  boiler.  She 
must  get  home  before  Ted,  and  see  that  the  household 
machinery  was  in  working  trim. 

The  blank  left  by  the  removal  of  her  lively 
presence  was  so  keenly  felt  by  the  friends  she  had 
deserted  that  both  husband  and  wife  found  it  some- 
thing of  a  relief  when  the  holiday  came  to  an  end, 
and  they  returned  to  Forest  Lodge. 

As  the  weeks  passed  on,  the  shadow  of  a  new 
anxiety  fell  upon  Candida.  It  became  only  too 
evident  that  her  mother-in-law  was  seriously  pressed 
for  money.  Ominous-looking  blue  envelopes  arrived 
by  nearly  every  post ;  the  voices  of  protesting  trades- 
men were  heard  from  time  to  time  in  the  hall,  and 
the  meals  were  more  than  ever  insufficient.  The  new 
nursemaid  complained  bitterly  of  the  fare  provided. 


2i8  THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA. 

and  Candida,  who  herself  was  nearly  always  hungry, 
was  no  longer  able  to  supplement  the  housekeeping 
out  of  her  allowance.  She  kept  silence  as  long  as  she 
could;  but  when  at  last  Roley  began  to  look  pale  and 
peaked,  she  felt  that  it  was  time  to  come  to  an  under- 
standing with  her  mother-in-law  on  the  subject  of  the 
household  arrangements. 

Her  opportunity  came  one  afternoon  towards  the 
middle  of  June,  when,  the  drawing-room  door  having 
been  left  ajar,  she  involuntarily  overheard  an  angry 
monologue  in  the  hall. 

"  I  don't  give  no  more  credit  till  my  bill  is  settled, 
or  something  considerable  paid  on  account,"  she  heard 
a  coarse  masculine  voice  proclaim.  "  I  don't  hold 
with  people  calling  theirselves  ladies  ordering  in  the 
best  joints  regardless,  and  then  keeping  honest  trades- 
men out  of  their  money.  I've  waited  till  I'm  tired  of 
waiting;  and  now  1  send  in  no  more  meat  till  my 
account  is  settled.  And  if  that  ain't  done  pretty  soon, 
I'll  take  the  matter  into  the  county  court." 

There  was  a  good  deal  more  to  the  same  effect ; 
then  the  hall-door  banged,  and  a  moment  afterwards 
Mrs.  Sylvester  came  into  the  drawing-room,  her  face 
looking  white  and  haggard,  her  thin  hands  trembling 
visibly.  Candida  felt  that  to  ignore  the  family  skele- 
ton any  longer  would  only  be  false  delicacy. 

"  I'm  afraid  you  are  a  little  troubled  about — about 
money,"  she  said  gently.  Does  Adrian  know? 
Can't  he  be  of  some  assistance  ?  " 


THE   CAREER  OF   CANDIDA.  219 

"  No,  no ;  it's  only  a  little  temporary  embarrass- 
ment," stammered  her  mother-in-law,  flushing  pain- 
fully, "  I  do  not  like  to  trouble  Adrian  about  it ;  he 
has  anxieties  enough  of  his  own  just  now." 

"  But  I  think  he  ought  to  know,"  said  Candida.  "I 
hope  we  are  not  the  cause  of  any  of  your  difficulties. 
When  Roley  was  born,  I  asked  Adrian  to  arrange 
about  the  extra  expense  with  you,  and  he  said  that 
he  had  made  it  all  right ;  but  perhaps  you  and  he  may 
have  under-estimated  matters.  I  know  that  I  have 
been  an  expensive  person  to  keep  during  the  last  few 
months." 

"  Oh,  my  dear,  I'm  sure  you  have  been  most  good 
and  patient,"  answered  Mrs.  Sylvester,  twisting  her 
fingers  together  nervously.  "  I  know  you  can't  have 
had  enough  to  eat,  and  the  dear  baby  is  beginning  to 
suffer.  If  it  were  not  for  that,  I  wouldn't  say  a  word. 
But  I'm  afraid  it  can't  go  on  like  this  any  longer,  for 
the  tradespeople  won't  give  any  more  credit,  and  we 
must  live.  If  we  could  only  hold  on  for  a  few  months, 
no  doubt  it  would  come  all  right ;  but,  meanwhile,  the 
money  is  locked  up,  and  I  can't  get  at  it" 

Candida  began  to  wonder  whether  her  mother-in- 
law  had  been  indulging  in  a  little  private  speculation, 
and  was  afraid  to  confide  in  her  son. 

"If  Adrian  knew  that  you  were  pressed  for  money," 
she  suggested,  "  he  might  be  able  to  pay  the  next 
quarter  in  advance." 

Mrs.  Sylvester  looked  at  her  uncertainly. 


220     -        THE   CAREER  OF   CANDIDA. 

"  You  see,  my  dear,"  she  said,  "  business  is  a  very 
confusing  thing,  and  you  understand  even  less  about 
it  than  I  do.  Poor  Adrian's  money  is  all  locked  up 
too.  but  he  will  make  it  all  right  as  soon  as  the 
market  begins  to  improve  again." 

"  All  locked  up  ?  "  repeated  Candida.  "  But  then, 
how  does  he  manage  to  contribute  to  the  household 
expenses  ?  " 

"  Oh,  he  is  most  particular  about  that  ;  indeed,  I 
fear  that  he  has  been  only  too  generous,  but  he  says 
that  when  he  has  a  stroke  of  luck  he  wishes  his  old 
mother  to  share  in  it.  I  have  had  the  full  equivalent, 
and  more  ;  I  can  show  you  all  the  papers." 

**  Equivalent !  Papers  !  I'm  afraid  I  am  very 
stupid,  but  I  don't  understand.  Do  you  mind  telling 
me  what  Adrian  really  does  contribute  as  our  share 
of  the  housekeeping  expenses  ?  " 

"  At  the  rate  of  two  hundred  a  year  at  present.  It 
was  a  hundred  and  fifty  before  the  baby  came.  It's 
too  much  really,  because  I  never  wanted  to  make  a 
profit  out  of  you." 

The  sum  seemed  a  sufficient  one,  for  the  house- 
keeping was  carried  on  on  so  modest  a  scale  that  she 
doubted  whether  the  whole  expenditure  amounted  to 
more  than  two  hundred  a  year.  But  then,  why  these 
difficulties  ? 

"  But  how  does  Adrian  manage  to  give  you  two 
hundred  a  year,  if  his  money  is  all  locked  up  ?  "  she 
inquired. 


THE   CAREER  OF  CANDIDA,  221 

"Oh,  it's  perfectly  safe,  you  know,"  was  the 
enigmatic  reply.  "It  will  soon  be  doubled,  I  believe; 
anyhow,  it's  all  accounted  for,  every  penny  of  it." 

"  But  where  is  it  ?  "  asked  Candida,  beginning  to 
feel  as  if  her  brain  would  turn. 

"  In  the  company — the  Automatic  Cork-drawing 
Company.  You  see,  Adrian  had  promised  to  take  a 
certain  number  of  shares,  and  he  very  kindly  let  me 
have  some  of  them  as  an  equivalent  for  his  con- 
tribution towards  the  housekeeping.  Of  course,  it  is 
a  splendid  thing  to  be  in,  or  will  be  in  a  very  short 
time.  But  I  shall  sell  out  as  soon  as  I  can  find 
a  purchaser;  I  don't  really  care  about  a  high 
profit." 

Candida  felt  herself  turning  cold  and  rigid.  "Do 
you  mean  to  say,"  she  asked,  controlling  herself  by  a 
strong  effort,  "  that  you  have  been  paid  nothing  in 
money  since  we  came  to  live  here  } " 

*'  Oh  dear,  yes,  nearly  up  to  the  time  that  the 
company  was  floated.  Then,  of  course,  Adrian 
required  all  his  ready  money,  so  he  very  liberally 
proposed  to  give  me  his  contribution  for  a  year  in 
advance  in  the  form  of  shares." 

"And  have  they  gone  up,  or  paid  any  interest 
since  you  have  had  them  ?  " 

"  Well,  no,  not  as  yet.    You  see,  it  has  been  such  a 

dreadful  year  in  the  financial  world,  what  with  panics 

and    long-continued    depression,    which,    of   course, 

Adrian  could  not  possibly  .foresee.     But  when  once 

15 


222  THE   CAREER   OF   CANDID.A, 

they  begin  to  move,  he  is  confident  that  they  will 
increase  in  value  very  rapidly.  I  don't  like  to  ask 
him  for  an  advance  after  he  has  behaved  so  hand- 
somely, and  yet  I  can't  bear  to  think  of  you  and  the 
baby  suffering.  I'm  sure  I  don't  know  what  is  to  be 
done." 

Candida  was  silent  for  a  moment.  A  hot  flush 
dyed  her  cheek,  and  her  eyes  sparkled  ominously. 

"  I  will  go  up  to  town  this  afternoon,  and  see  if  I 
can  catch  Adrian  before  he  leaves  the  office,"  she 
said.  "  He  is  generally  detained  late  on  a  Monday. 
He  must  raise  money  somehow  to  pay  his  debt  to 
you,  for  the  shares  may  or  may  not  be  worth  any- 
thing in  the  future.  Meanwhile,  you  shall  be  relieved 
of  the  burden  of  baby  and  me  ;  I  will  take  him  down 
to  Branksmead  to-morrow  for  the  summer.  By  the 
time  the  winter  is  here  I  shall  be  able  to  work,  and 
provide  for  him  and  myself.  We  will  sponge  on  you 
no  longer." 

Something  in  her  voice  struck  terror  into  the  old 
lady's  heart. 

"  You  won't  misjudge  Adrian,  or  do  anything 
hastily  ?  "  she  pleaded.  "  A  little  holiday  will  do  you 
good,  no  doubt,  and  dear  baby  too.  In  a  few  weeks' 
time  things  will  have  changed  for  the  better,  and 
then  you  will  come  back,  and  we  shall  all  be  happy 
and  comfortable  as  before.  Don't  talk  of  anything 
so  dreadful  as  having  to  work  for  yourself  and  Roley ; 
Adrian  would  never  hear  of  it" 


THE   CAREER  OF   CANDIDA.  223 

Candida  shivered  a  little.  To  her  mind  the  idea  of 
coming  back  to  the  old  life  now  that  her  eyes  had 
been  opened  was  quite  intolerable,  while  the  prospect 
of  freedom  and  independence  won  by  her  own  work 
shone  out  like  a  vision  of  bliss. 

It  was  nearly  six  o'clock  before  she  reached  her 
husband's  office.  The  big  building  in  which  it  was 
situated  looked  nearly  deserted,  and  charwomen  were 
sweeping  some  of  the  passages,  but  there  was  just 
a  chance  that  he  might  still  be  there.  The  outer 
office  was  empty,  but  she  fancied  she  could  hear  a 
murmur  of  voices  in  the  inner  room.  There  was  no 
answer  to  her  gentle  tap,  so  she  opened  the  door, 
but  stopped  short  on  the  threshold  with  a  little 
cry  of  surprise.  Two  persons,  a  man  and  a 
woman,  were  standing  in  front  of  the  fireplace, 
locked  in  each  other's  arms.  Evidently  they  had 
been  too  much  absorbed  to  hear  her  knock,  but 
at  the  sound  of  a  step  on  the  threshold  they 
sprang  guiltily  apart.  The  man  was  Adrian,  but  the 
woman  ?  She  had  hastily  let  down  a  thick  veil  over 
her  face,  and  then,  turning  to  the  mantlepiece,  had 
leant  against  it,  her  head  bowed  upon  her  arms  in 
evident  shame  and  terror.  The  shrinking  attitude, 
the  quivering  form,  and  the  gasping  breath  that 
heralded  a  burst  of  anguished  weeping,  struck  pity 
to  the  intruder's  heart,  for  this  was  obviously  no 
hardened  sinner,  but  some  frail  creature  who  had 
been   tempted   beyond   her  strength.     Acting   on   a 


224  THE  CAREER  OF  CANDIDA. 

sudden  impulse,  Candida  sprang  to  the  window,  and 
flinging  up  the  sash,  leant  out. 

"  Run,"  she  called  over  her  shoulder.  "  I  won't 
look  round.     Run." 

There  was  a  faint  swish  of  silken  skirts,  a  light 
patter  of  high-heeled  shoes,  and  the  sound  of  a 
closing  door.  Candida  waited  for  a  moment  to 
assure  herself  that  the  fugitive  had  got  safely  oflf, 
and  then  turned  round  and  faced  her  husband. 


CHAPTER  XX. 

For  a   moment  the  pair  stood  opposite  each  other 
in  silence. 

"  Say  what  you  please  to  me,"  observed  Adrian,  at 
length.  "You  cannot  show  more  severity  than  I 
deserve.  Yet  I  should  like  to  explain  that  things 
are  not  quite  so  black  as  they  seem,  as  you  probably 
think  them.  I  admit  that  I  was  temporarily  infatuated 
by  that — that  lady  ;  you  told  me  once  that  you 
could  understand  and  make  allowances  for  such  a 
weakness.  Our  relations  were  at  first  only  those  of 
flirtation — a  romantic  flirtation,  I  confess  ;  but  as 
matters  grew  more  serious  between  us,  she  declared 
that  she  felt  it  her  duty  to  put  an  end  to  our  friend- 
ship, and  never  to  see  me  again.  I  begged  her  to 
grant  me  one  favour,  to  come  here  to  say  good-bye, 
that  we  might  be  alone  together  for  the  last  time. 
She  came,  and  she  gave  me  a  farewell  kiss :  it  was 
the  first  as  well  as  the  last ;  we  were  never  to  meet 
again.  The  rest  you  know.  She  refused  to  let  me 
lock   the   door,  and   therefore   we   were   found  out. 


226  THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA. 

whereas  a  more  guilty  couple  would  probably  have 
escaped  detection." 

"  I  don't  want  to  hear  any  more,"  remarked 
Candida,  coldly.  "  You  don't  suppose  that  I  imagined 
you  were  true  to  me  all  these  months,  do  you  ?  But 
I  take  no  interest  in  the  details  of  your  love-affairs  ; 
in  fact,  your  doings  or  misdoings  have  become  a 
matter  of  the  utmost  indifference  to  me.  I  desire 
neither  love  nor  faith  from  a  man  who  has  proved 
himself  a  heartless  swindler." 

The  last  words  sent  the  blood  to  his  face  like  the 
flick  of  a  whip. 

"  Swindler !  "  he  repeated  angrily.  "  What  do  you 
mean  by  that  ?  I  may  have  been  weak,  may  have 
yielded  to  temptation,  but  I  have  never  done  anything 
that  was  inconsistent  with  the  character  of  a  man  of 
honour,  as  men  understand  it." 

"  I  have  always  understood  that  a  man  of  honour 
may  break  his  oath  to  a  woman,  and  even  steal  away 
his  friend's  wife.  Such  trifles  leave  no  stain  upon 
the  dazzling  purity  of  his  character.  But  I  never 
heard  that  a  man  of  honour  was  free  to  swindle  his 
own  mother."" 

"  What  are  you  talking  about  ? "  he  asked,  the 
colour  fading  from  his  face.  "Will  you  please 
explain  yourself?" 

"  Do  you  think  that  women  and  children  can  eat 
worthless  shares,  you  man  of  honour  ?  "  she  demanded 
ironically.     "  It   is   often   said   that   women    do    not 


THE   CAREER  OF   CANDIDA.  227 

understand  the  rules  of  honour  that  govern  the 
conduct  of  men.  That  is  perfectly  true.  We  neither 
understand  nor  practise  them,  and  I  hope  we  never 
shall." 

"  I  suppose  you  allude  to  the  fact  that  I  paid  my 
mother  for  our  share  of  the  expenses  in  scrip  instead 
of  in  cash,"  he  said,  trying  to  control  his  face  and 
voice.  "That  was  a  private  arrangement  between 
her  and  myself  which  she  entered  into  entirely  of  her 
own  free  will.  If  you  knew  anything  about  business 
you  would  understand  that  I  gave  her  what  I 
believed  to  be  very  good  value  for  the  money.  I 
quite  expected  that  the  shares  would  have  doubled  in 
value  before  this,  and  so  they  would  if  the  times 
had  not  been  so  abnormally  bad.  But  misfortune 
scarcely  deserves  the  name  of  swindling." 

Candida  laughed  contemptuously. 

"  No,  but  misfortune  is  apt  to  fall  upon  a  speculation 
of  the  *  wild  cat  *  order.  I  have  heard  business  men 
discussing  your  cork-drawing  company,  and  know 
how  it  is  regarded  by  the  financial  press.  You  took 
advantage  of  your  mother's  ignorance  and  her  trust 
in  you,  to  make  her  invest  the  money  she  so  sorely 
needed  in  a  rotten  undertaking.  My  father  would 
have  been  another  victim  if  I  had  not  put  a  spoke  in 
your  wheel.  Do  you  know  that  in  consequence  of 
your  little  private  arrangement  your  mother  is  being 
insulted  and  bullied  by  the  tradespeople  every  day, 
that  we  haven't  had  enough  to  eat  for  weeks,  and 


228  THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA. 

that  your  sisters  are  ashamed  to  visit  their  friends 
because  their  clothes  are  so  shabby  ?  Oh,  it  makes 
my  heart  burn  when  I  think  how  you  and  I  and  the 
boy  have  been  living  like  parasites  on  those  poor 
women,  weighing  them  down  and  sucking  them  dry. 
And  you  made  me  think  that  we  were  doing  them  a 
favour  in  going  to  live  with  them,  we  who  have  nearly 
broken  their  backs.  However,  there's  an  end  of  it  all 
now — now  that  I  am  free." 

"  Free  ! "  he  repeated. 
■  "Yes,  you  don't  suppose  that  I'm  going  to  play  the 
part  of  blood-sucker  any  longer,  do  you  ?  We'll  not 
burden  your  mother  another  day,  my  boy  and  I. 
Even  if  you  could  support  me,  you  would  have  no 
right  to  try  and  keep  me  with  you.  You  no  longer 
care  for  me,  and  you  never  cared  for  the  child.  You 
have  no  claim  on  us,  and  we  make  none  on  you.  I 
take  Roley  down  to  Branksmead  to-morrow." 

"And  what  if  I  refuse  to  let  him  go?"  asked  Adrian, 
seeking  for  some  means  of  revenging  himself  for  the 
smart  her  words  had  caused  him,  "The  law  gives 
me  full  power  over  him,  and  none  at  all  to  you." 

Candida  turned  on  him  like  a  tigress  who  fears  an 
attempt  to  rob  her  of  her  young. 

"  I  defy  you  to  take  him  from  me,"  she  cried,  her 
hands  clenched  and  her  eyes  gleaming.  "  I'll  keep 
him  though  you  and  all  the  lawyers  in  England  were 
against  me.  What  right  have  you  to  him  ?  I  have 
bought  him   and  paid  for  him.     Didn't  I  bear  him 


THE   CAREER  OF  CANDIDA.  229 

and  care  for  him  ?  Haven't  I  fed  him  and  clothed  him  ? 
Isn't  he  a  part  of  myself — my  very  own  flesh  and 
blood  ?  What  do  I  care  for  the  law  ?  I  wouldn't  give 
him  up  if  all  the  judges  in  England  stood  in  a  row 
and  demanded  him  from  me.  He  is  my  own,  and  I 
keep  him." 

"I  never  really  thought  of  taking  him  from  you/* 
put  in  Adrian,  glancing  at  her  with  a  flicker  of 
admiration  in  his  eyes.  "  I  only  meant  to  remind 
you  that  I  had  some  right  to  him  too,  but  I  agree 
with  you  that  it  is  a  legal  rather  than  a  moral  right 
I  dare  say  you  will  both  be  much  better  without  me. 
I  know  I've  behaved  like  a  blackguard  to  you ;  don't 
imagine  that  I  deny  it.  But  I  don't  want  you  to 
think  worse  of  me  than  I  deserve.  Believe  me  or  not 
as  you  please,  I  honestly  thought  that  the  company 
would  turn  out  a  good  speculation  ;  I  mean,  I  felt 
convinced  that  we  could  very  soon  clear  out  at  a 
profit.  And  I  never  realized  that  my  mother  was  so 
hampered  for  money ;  things  always  seemed  pretty 
comfortable  when  I  was  at  home,  and  I  thought  she 
was  such  a  good  manager  that  she  could  tide  over 
this  little  difficulty  until  I  was  able  to  pay  her  again. 
I  simply  haven't  known  which  way  to  turn  for  money. 
I've  been  at  my  wit's  end.  For  the  rest,  I've  nothing 
to  say  except  that  I  know  you've  found  me  a  bad 
bargain,  and  I  admit  that  you  are  within  your  right 
to  be  unforgiving." 

Candida  was  silent  for  a  moment 


230  THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA. 

"  Perhaps  I  may  have  judged  you  too  harshly  and 
too  hastily,"  she  said.     "  If  so,  I  beg  your  pardon. 
And  I  have  no  right  to  be  unforgiving  on  my  own 
account.     I  do  forgive  you  fully  and  freely  for  any 
wrong  you   may  have  done  to  myself     It  may  be 
that  I  was  to  blame  for  your  ceasing  to  love  me  so 
soon.    Another  woman  more  skilled  in  feminine  wiles 
and  coquetries  might  have  kept  you  true  to  her  ;  I 
was  ignorant  of  all  such  arts.    But  now,  before  we  part, 
let  me  beg  you,  if  you  have  still  a  shadow  of  regard 
fcJr  me,  or  any  memory  of  the  days  when  we  were  all 
in  all  to  each  other,  to  grant  me  one  last  request. 
Raise  money,  no  matter  how,  and  put  an  end  to  the 
difficulties  and  anxieties  that  are  slowly  killing  your 
mother.     I  have  some  necklaces,  bracelets,  and  other 
trumpery   that   might   fetch  a  little   money ;    I  will 
leave  them  behind  if  you  will  dispose  of  them  for 
her.   Good-bye.  I  need  not  ask  you  to  remain  in  town 
to-night.     By  midday  to-morrow  I  shall  be  gone." 

"  Good-bye,"  he  answered  reluctantly.  "  I  will  get 
the  money  somehow,  without  selling  your  jewels,  I 
hope  You  are  quite  right  to  leave  me;  I  have 
brought  you  nothing  but  trouble  and  disappointment. 
Well,  I  hope  you  will  be  happy  and  prosperous  now 
that  you  are  rid  of  me,  you  and  the  boy  too." 

His  voice  shook,  and  his  hand  trembled  as  he 
clasped  hers  for  the  last  time,  for  his  facile  nature 
was  easily  moved  to  emotion,  and  he  felt  a  keen  self- 
pity  as  well  as  some  faint  idea  of  the  value  of  the 


THE  CAREER  OF  CANDIDA.  231 

love  he  had  thrown  away,  as  Candida  passed  slowly 
from  the  room.  Alone  !  deserted  by  his  wife,  robbed 
of  his  child,  neither  Benedick  nor  bachelor — it  seemed 
a  cruel  fate,  even  though  he  might  be  said  to  have 
brought  it  on  himself.  His  fine  eyes  grew  dim  as  he 
stood  gazing  into  the  empty  fireplace,  and  wondered 
how  such  a  well-meaning  fellow  as  himself  had 
managed  to  make  such  a  mess  of  his  life. 

Twenty-four  hours  later,  Candida,  with  Roley  on 
her  knee,  was  being  driven  through  the  shady  lanes 
that  lay  between  the  station  and  her  home.  She  was 
inclined  to  condemn  herself  for  the  buoyancy  of  her 
spirits  and  the  exquisite  sense  of  freedom  that  filled 
her  heart.  But  it  was  impossible  to  be  gloomy  or 
downcast  in  view  of  the  fact  that  she  belonged  to 
herself  once  again,  that  the  time  of  her  bondage, 
first  to  passion  and  afterwards  to  wifely  duty,  was 
over,  as  she  believed,  for  ever. 

Her  father  and  mother  received  her  with  anxious, 
mystified  faces,  for  her  letter  and  telegram  had  told 
little  except  that  she  was  coming  for  a  long  visit. 

"  Please  don't  look  so  serious,"  she  said,  as  they  sat 
together  under  the  trees.  "  I  have  eloped  with  Roley, 
as  you  see,  but  I  can't  tell  you  all  the  circumstances 
that  led  to  the  rash  act.  A  difficulty  about  money 
was  the  chief  reason  that  made  me  leave  home,  for 
I  am  not  going  back  again.  Adrian  has  been  un- 
fortunate in  business,  and  we  have  agreed  to  part" 


232  THE   CAREER  OF  CANDIDA. 

"  But  this  is  only  a  temporary  arrangement,  I  hope," 
said  her  mother.  "  When  Adrian's  affairs  improve 
you  will  go  back  to  him.  A  wife's  place  is  beneath 
her  husband's  roof." 

"  He  has  never  given  me  a  roof.  No,  this  is  a  per- 
manent arrangement.  I  have  other  reasons  for  taking 
this  step  which  I  cannot  tell  you.  I  made  a  mistake 
in  thinking  that  I  could  make  Adrian  happy,  that  he 
really  needed  me.  Father,  you  have  a  perfect  right 
to  say  *  I  told  you  so.' " 

"  I  will  forego  that  privilege  for  the  present,"  he 
replied.  "Indeed,  I  scarcely  feel  that  I  have  the 
right  when  I  see  how  well  and  cheerful  you  are 
looking.  You  may  have  suffered  shipwreck,  but  I 
expect  that  you  have  already  set  about  building  a 
raft." 

"Yes,  and  I  have  precious  salvage,"  she  said,  with 
a  glance  at  her  boy,  who  was  sitting  contentedly  on 
his  grandmother's  knee.  "  Thanks  to  your  uncon- 
ventional ideas,  father,  I'm  still  afloat.  If  it  hadn't 
been  for  the  opportunities  you  gave  me,  baby  and  I 
would  have  been  floundering  in  the  water,  and  deep 
water  too." 

"  You  intend  to  return  to  your  former  profession  ?  " 
asked  Mr.  St.  John. 

"Yes.  Miss  Mason  told  me  when  I  left  that  she 
had  no  doubt  of  being  able  to  find  me  an  opening 
should  I  ever  desire  to  take  up  my  work  again,  and  I 
have  already  written  to  her  to  tell  her  of  my  changed 


THE   CAREER  OF   CANDIDA.  233 

prospects.  We  shall  be  very  glad  to  stay  here  during 
the  summer  months,  Roley  and  I,  but  when  the 
autumn  comes  we  must  go  out  into  the  world  again, 
and  begin  our  work." 

Two  or  three  days  later  Candida  came  running  out 
to  her  father,  who  was  working  in  the  garden,  with  an 
open  letter  in  her  hand. 

*'  Read  that,"  she  cried  triumphantly.  "  My  raft  is 
built,  the  sail  is  rigged,  and  the  flag  is  flying." 

The  letter  was  from  Miss  Mason,  and  contained  an 
offer  of  the  post  of  head  instructor  of  a  branch  gym- 
nasium which  was  to  be  established  at  Westminster 
under  the  same  management  as  that  at  Bloomsbury. 
.The  salary  would  begin  at  a  hundred  and  fifty  a  year, 
with  a  percentage  on  the  net  profits. 

"  Well,  that  sounds  promising,"  said  Mr.  St.  John, 
when  he  had  read  the  letter.  "  I  suppose  it  is  the 
best  thing  that  could  happen  to  you  under  the  cir- 
cumstances." 

"  Of  course  it  is.  I  have  the  chance  of  making  a 
fresh  start,  and  beginning  life  over  again.  That  is 
better  luck  than  falls  to  the  lot  of  most  people  who 
have  made  a  big  mistake." 

"  Beginning  life  over  again }  Yes ;  but  with  a 
weight  chained  to  your  leg." 

"  A  weight  ?     Do  you  mean  Roley  ?  " 

"  No  ;  I  was  thinking  of  your  marriage  vow,  which 
condemns  you,  a  young,  healthy  woman,  to  lead  a 
single  life." 


234  THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA. 

"  I've  had  quite  enough  of  marriage,  thank  you," 
said  Candida.  "  I  shall  be  perfectly  contented  with 
platonic  relations  in  the  future." 

"  Ah,  you  think  that  now  because  you  have  had  an 
unfortunate  experience.  But  men  are  not  all  alike, 
and  in  time  your  wounds  will  heal.  It  troubles  me  to 
think  of  your  anomalous  position — neither  maid,  wife, 
nor  widow." 

"No,  but  woman,  mother,  worker.  Isn't  that 
position  definite  enough  ?  Ah,  here  comes  Roley 
with  his  new  playmates." 

The  boy  was  carried  out  by  old  Lester's  daughter 
Margaret,  who   had    been   promoted  to  the  office  of 
nurse.     He  was  laughing  and  crowing  with  delight  at . 
the  antics  of  some  setter  puppies  that  were  leaping  up 
and  trying  to  lick  his  face. 

"  Isn't  he  a  jolly  fellow  ?  "  said  Candida,  laying  him 
on  the  grass,  and  letting  him  roll  about  with  the 
puppies.  "  Look,  he's  not  a  bit  afraid  of  the  dogs.  He 
has  got  quite  sunburnt  already  from  being  out  of 
doors  so  much  the  last  few  days.  You  really  must 
weigh  and  measure  him  again,  father." 

Mr.  St.  John  looked  at  her,  instead  of  at  the  baby. 

"  I  haven't  yet  said,  '  I  told  you  so,' "  he  remarked 
irrelevantly.  *'  You  don't  give  me  the  opportunity. 
You  look  happier  and  handsomer  than  you  ever  did 
in  your  life  before.  I  don't  believe  you  repent  not 
having  taken  my  advice." 

"  No,  I  don't.    How  can  I  ?    I  have  gained  so  much 


THE   CAREER  OF   CANDIDA.  235 

more  than  I  have  lost.  First,  there's  Roley,  and  then 
there's  the  experience,  to  say  nothing  of  most  valuable 
lessons  in  keeping  my  temper  and  holding  my  tongue." 

"  Ah,  but  you  might  have  had  all  those  and  a  good 
husband  to  boot,  as  husbands  go.  However,  if  you 
are  satisfied,  it  is  not  for  me  to  complain.  Have  you 
had  any  communication  with  Forest  Lodge  since  you 
left?" 

"Yes,"  replied  Candida,  her  face  clouding  over.  "  I 
have  heard  from  Mrs.  Sylvester  and  the  girls.  They 
think  it  dreadfully  wicked  of  me  to  leave  my  husband, 
and  are  scandalized  at  the  idea  of  my  working  for  a 
living.  They  seem  to  fancy  that  it  will  cast  a  stigma 
9n  him.  Poor  things,  I'm  very  sorry ;  but  if  they 
knew  all,  I'm  sure  they  would  think  that  I  had  taken 
the  best — the  only  possible  course." 


CHAPTER   XXI. 

With  the  passing  of  summer,  Candida  went  back  to 
town,  leaving  her  boy  at  Branksmead  until  she  could 
build  a  new  nest  for  him.  A  month's  steady  practice 
at  the  Bloomsbury  Gymnasium  restored  to  her  a  good 
measure  of  her  former  strength  and  skill,  so  that  by 
the  end  of  October,  when  the  new  establishment  was 
opened,  she  was  able  to  begin  her  reign  with  con- 
fidence and  courage.  The  three  rooms  that  she  and 
Sabina  had  occupied  being  vacant,  she  hired  them 
temporarily,  since  they  would  just  contain  herself  and 
her  belongings.  When  the  scanty  furniture,  which 
was  all  she  could  afford,  had  been  brought  in,  and  she 
had  settled  down  to  her  new  existence,  she  could 
hardly  believe  that  the  past  two  years,  with  her  mar- 
riage and  her  life  at  Heme  Vale,  had  not  been  some 
strangely  vivid  dream.  If  it  were  not  for  the  little 
crib  that  stood  beside  her  bed,  she  would  have  fancied 
herself  a  girl  again,  with  all  her  life  before  her. 

The  opening  of  the  new  Westminster  Gymnasium 
ushered  in  a  prolonged  period  of  hard  and  responsible 


THE  CAREER  OF  CANDIDA.  237 

work.     The  organization  of  the  new  institution  was 

left  entirely  in  her  hands,  and  all  arrangements  were 

submitted  to    her,    while   her   assistants   had   to   be 

initiated   into  her  ways,    the  hours    for  classes  and 

private  pupils  fitted   in,    and   a  "  good  connection " 

gradually   built   up.     But   although   a   busy  time,  it 

was  also  a  very  happy  and  satisfying  one,  so  that 

past  troubles  were  practically  forgotten  in  the  joy  of 

successful  accomplishment.     To  rise  in  the  morning 

to  the  knowledge  that  a  day  filled  with  the  delightful 

rush  of  congenial  work  lay  before  her  ;  to  come  home 

at  night   honestly  tired  and    gloriously  hungry ;   to 

spend   long  evenings  in  renewing  her  acquaintance 

with  some  of  her  old  studies,  rendered  more  than  ever 

fascinating  now  by  the  thought  that  she  was  preparing 

herself  to  help  Roley  on  his  way  to  knowledge ;  to 

have  no  time  for  memories  or  regrets  ; — all  this  made 

up  a  lot  which,  in  her  eyes,  was  bliss  itself  compared 

with  the  ordinary  feminine  existence. 

A  few  months  rolled  away  without  bringing  much 

change  to  our  heroine's  circumstances,  except  that  as 

order  was  gradually  introduced  into  her  domain,  and 

experiment   gave   way  to   system,   she  was  able  to 

devote  more  time  to  the  claims  of  friendship  and  of 

society.    All  links  with  the  short  period  of  her  married 

life   had   been   broken  off.     Her   mother-in-law,  she 

knew,  had  died  in  the  spring,  and  the  two  daughters, 

left  with  the  tiniest  of  spinster  pittances,  had  gone  to 

live  in  a  cottage  in  the  country,  under  the  wing  of 
16 


238  THE   CAREER  OF  CANDIDA. 

some  more  prosperous  relations.  Rumours  about  her 
husband  reached  her  from  time  to  time.  According 
to  the  latest,  he  was  in  ill-health,  had  dissolved  his 
partnership,  and  gone  abroad. 

Of  her  oldest  friends,  the  Ferrars,  she  had  seen 
scarcely  anything  since  her  return  to  town.  She  could 
seldom  spare  the  time  to  take  a  journey  to  Hamp- 
stead,  and  Sabina  was  apparently  too  full  of  more 
important  engagements  to  be  able  to  accept  an 
invitation  to  tea  ;  so  that,  without  any  quarrel  or 
misunderstanding,  they  had  gradually  drifted  further 
and  further  apart.  One  evening,  however,  towards 
the  beginning  of  her  second  winter  in  town,  Candida, 
hastening  up  St  Martin's  Lane,  on  her  way  home  to 
tea,  suddenly  found  herself  face  to  face  with  Ted. 

"  Why,  Candida,"  he  cried,  with  a  start  of  pleasure, 
'*  is  that  really  you  ?  What  ages  it  is  since  we  have 
met  I  I  have  often  thought  of  paying  you  a  visit  on 
my  own  account,  only  I  knew  I  was  not  likely  to  find 
you  at  home.  And  you  haven't  been  to  Hampstead 
for  months." 

"  No,  because  Sabina  is  never  at  home,"  laughed 
Candida.  "She  seems  to  work  quite  as  hard  at 
society  as  any  of  us  at  our  professions.  I  have  often 
regretted  that  we  have  lost  touch  of  each  other  so 
completely  ;  but  I  felt  shy  of  asking  her  to  come  and 
see  me,  because  I  fancied  she  would  think  it  slow. 
But  won't  you  come  together  some  Sunday — say, 
next  Sunday?" 


THE   CAREER  OF  CANDIDA.  239 

"I  shall  be  delighted,"  said  Ted.  "And  I  will 
bring  Sabina,  if  she  has  no  other  engagement ;  but 
she  has  blossomed  into  such  a  very  fashionable  lady, 
that  she  is  almost  monopolized  by  so-called  society." 

"  Tell  me  about  yourself,  Ted,"  said  Candida,  as  he 
turned  and  walked  beside  her.  "  You  are  not  looking 
very  well.     I  expect  you  are  overdoing  the  work," 

"  I  have  to  work  hard,"  he  said  curtly,  "  and  play 
hard  too.  I  don't  like  to  let  Sabina  go  everywhere 
alone,  and  she  never  seems  to  care  to  stay  quietly 
at  home.  Sometimes  I  think " — he  hesitated — 
"sometimes  I'm  afraid  that  she  must  be  unhappy 
about  something.  She  is  so  restless,  so  eager  for 
excitement ;  it  looks  almost  as  though  she  were  afraid 
to  allow  herself  time  to  think.  Yet  I  have  done  my 
best  to  make  her  happy,  poor  girl.  It  may  be  that 
she  is  fretting  because  she  has  no  child." 

Candida  looked  thoughtful 

"  It  is  a  pity  that  married  persons  so  seldom  have 
the  courage  to  tell  each  other  their  secret  troubles," 
she  said,  "  Sabina  is  the  sort  of  creature  to  have 
trials  and  temptations  such  as  would  never  occur  to 
prosaic,  every-day  folk  like  you  and  me.  However, 
bring  her  to  see  me,  and  I  will  try  to  win  her 
confidence  again." 

When  Sunday  came,  Ted  arrived,  according  to  his 
promise,  but  alone  He  looked  so  strange  and  unlike 
himself  that  his  hostess's  words  of  welcome  died  away 
upon  her  lips. 


240  THE   CAREER   OF  CANDIDA. 

"You — you  haven't  brought  Sabina,"  she  stam- 
mered. 

"  Sabina  has  left  me,"  he  answered  mechanically. 
"  She's  gone  away." 

"  Left  you  !  "  repeated  Candida,  aghast  "  You  don't 
mean  that " 

"I  know  nothing  beyond  the  fact,"  he  said. 
"Yesterday — no,  I  suppose  it  was  the  day  before — 
we  had  a  quarrel.  I  thought  she  had  been  indiscreet, 
had  encouraged  a  man  I  distrusted,  against  whom 
I  had  warned  her.  I  lost  my  temper,  and  said 
some  harsh  things  to  her,  and  she — you  know  how 
sensitive  she  was — how  she  never  could  bear  an 
unkind  word.  Perhaps  she  was  frightened,  or  she 
may  have  been  wounded  by  my  suspicions.  Anyway, 
when  I  came  home  last  evening  I  found  her  gone." 

"  Did  she  leave  no  note  or  message  ?  " 

"  Yes,  there  was  a  note,  begging  me  not  to  try  and 
find  her,  and  telling  me  I  should  be  much  happier 
without  her,  as  she  saw  I  no  longer  loved  her." 

"But  have  you  done  nothing — taken  no  steps  to 
find  her?" 

"  I  have  done  all  I  could.  I  went  to  that  brute's 
chambers,  and  was  told  that  he  had  just  gone  abroad. 
I  am  afraid  there  is  no  doubt  that  she  went  with  him. 
I  can  do  no  more.  I  did  my  best  to  make  her  happy, 
and  I  failed  ;  the  experiment  is  at  an  end.  I  will 
give  her  her  freedom  if  she  desires  it ;  the  man  may 
marry  her." 


THE   CAREER  OF  CANDIDA.  241 

*'  Oh,  poor  Sabina !  "  cried  Candida.  "  I  still  can't 
believe  that  she  is  really  guilty.  She  may  have  been 
foolish  and  imprudent,  and  perhaps  your  anger 
frightened  hei,  as  you  say,  and  drove  her  away  from 
you.  Remember  what  a  nervous,  excitable  creature 
she  always  was.  She  may  be  in  hiding  somewhere 
at  this  moment,  longing  for  you  and  her  home,  yet 
without  the  courage  to  go  back  and  ask  you  to 
forgive  her." 

"  It  would  be  too  late,"  he  said  sternly.  "  My 
patience  is  at  an  end.  I  will  give  her  money  should 
she  need  it,  but  she  is  no  longer  my  wife.  She  left 
me  of  her  own  free  will,  and  now  the  door  is  shut." 

Candida  looked  at  him  sadly. 

"  It  is  such  a  pity,"  she  said.  "  I  wish  I  could  help 
you  and  her  too.     But  I  suppose  I  can  do  nothing." 

"You  can  let  me  come  and  see  you  sometimes," 
he  said.  "  We  are  both  lonely  souls  now,  only  you 
have  your  boy,  and  I  have  no  one." 

"  Come  as  often  as  you  like,"  said  Candida.  "  Only 
promise  me  to  think  as  kindly  as  you  can  of  Sabina. 
I  hope  that  all  may  yet  be  well  between  you  and  her." 

He  shook  his  head  gloomily,  and  bade  her 
good-bye. 

The  following  Saturday  he  came  again,  to  report 
that,  having  heard  nothing  more  of  his  wife,  he  had 
determined  to  put  his  house  into  the  hands  of  an 
agent,  and  take  chambers  in  or  near  the  Temple. 
He  asked  leave  to  come  again  the  next  day ;  he  was 


242  THE   CAREER  OF   CANDIDA. 

miserable  alone  in  his  empty  house,  he  said,  and  he 
shrank  from  going  into  society  or  to  his  club.  He  was 
so  obviously  restless  and  depressed  that  Candida 
thought  the  kindest  thing  she  could  do  would  be  to  give 
him  a  general  invitation  to  come  and  see  her  as  often  as 
he  felt  inclined.  If  she  could  lead  him  to  resume  his 
youthful  habit  of  discussing  with  her  the  books  he 
was  reading,  and  the  ideas  that  were  occupying  his 
mind,  nothing  would  serve  more  effectually  to  distract 
his  thoughts  from  the  troubles  of  the  present  Then, 
from  time  to  time,  she  could  put  in  a  word  for  Sabina, 
and  try  to  persuade  him  to  renew  his  efforts  to  find 
her. 

This  plan  answered  even  better  than  she  had 
expected,  and  Ted's  visits  gradually  increased  in 
number  and  length,  especially  after  he  had  taken  up 
his  abode  in  the  Temple,  until  at  last  it  came  to  be 
regarded  as  a  matter  of  course  that  he  should  spend 
his  Sundays  and  his  leisure  evenings  with  his  old 
friend  in  Blake  Street. 

"This  is  quite  like  old  times,"  he  said  one  night,  as 
he  leant  back  in  his  chair  with  a  sigh  of  content  after 
a  stimulating  argument  over  the  merits  of  a  new 
drama,  which  had  lately  delighted  one  half  of  the 
public,  and  scandalized  the  other.  "  Do  you  remember 
our  long  talks  years  ago  in  the  fields  at  Branksmead  ? 
There  are  some  books  that  I  can  never  open  to  this 
day  without  being  reminded  of  the  wood  or  meadow 
where  you  and   1  read  or  discussed  them  together. 


THE   CAREER  OF   CANDIDA.  243 

Every  page  is  illustrated  with  memory  landscapes,  or 
vignettes  of  you  with  your  eyes  sparkling  and  your 
hair  blowing  in  the  wind.  I  can  remember  your 
ideas  and  opinions  as  clearly  as  if  they  were  printed 
as  marginal  annotations  to  the  book.  Ah,  those 
were  the  happiest  days  I  have  ever  known." 

"We  were  young  and  foolish  then,"  Candida 
answered,  smiling.  "  We  lived  in  the  present,  and 
the  future  was  one  big  hope." 

Roley,  now  more  than  two  years  old,  was  a  constant 
source  of  pleasure  and  amusement  to  the  deserted 
husband,  who  seldom  refused  the  young  man's 
demands  to  come  and  play  at  "gee-gees,"  the  one 
game  of  which  he  never  tired. 

"  Roley  comes  of  a  long  line  of  fox-hunting 
squires,"  his  mother  used  to  say  laughingly.  "  And 
he  doesn't  belie  his  pedigree.  The  worst  of  it  is  that 
Margaret  Lester,  being  her  father's  daughter,  en- 
courages his  taste  for  horseflesh.  She  told  me  with 
pride  the  other  day  that  Master  Roley  had  a  wonder- 
ful eye  for  the  points  of  a  horse,  and  that  he  nearly 
jumps  out  of  his  perambulator  at  the  sight  of  a  beast 
with  fine  action." 

The  winter  melted  into  spring,  and  with  the  passing 
of  time  the  pleasant  comradeship  became  only  more 
firmly  cemented.  The  couple  made  country  ex- 
peditions together,  went  on  the  river  together,  visited 
the  theatres  together,  squabbled,  chaffed,  talked  end- 
less "shop,"  or  maintained  a  companionable  silence, 


244  THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA. 

in  the  manner  that  is  only  possible  between  friends  of 
long  standing  and  close  intimacy. 

The  remembrance  of  the  troubled  waters  through 
which  both  had  lately  passed  grew  gradually  fainter, 
and  life  regained  its  former  zest  and  savour,  so  that 
for  the  moment  they  were  content  with  the  unthink- 
ing, unconscious  contentment  which  is  the  one  really 
enviable  condition  of  human  existence. 

Unfortunately,  such  pleasant  and  peaceful  relations 
are  seldom  of  long  continuance  between  a  man  and  a 
woman,  for  though  the  woman  may  sometimes  know 
when  she  is  well  off,  the  man  usually  wants  to  "  go 
one  better."  The  world,  again,  is  seldom  inclined  to 
leave  an  innocently  happy  couple  in  peace  ;  perhaps 
because  it  is  jealous  of  the  happiness,  and  therefore 
wishes  to  throw  doubts  upon  the  innocence.  In  this 
case  it  was  the  world  in  the  person  of  Mrs.  Spalding, 
the  wife  of  a  member  of  the  Gymnasium  Committee 
of  Management,  that  was  the  cause  of  all  the 
mischief. 

Mrs.  Spalding  was  a  lady  whose  sole  idea  of  duty 
consisted  of  saying  and  doing  things  that  were 
unpleasant  to  other  people.  Her  sense  of  duty  would 
impel  her  to  inform  her  friends  that  their  conduct  was 
being  made  the  subject  of  disagreeable  comment,  but 
never  led  her  to  repeat  a  compliment.  To  her  ears 
came  the  rumour  that  Mrs.  Sylvester  was  making 
herself  conspicuous  with  a  young  man.  The  word 
"  conspicuous  "  in  the  social  sense,  has,  of  course,  only 


THE   CAREER  OF   CANDIDA.  245 

one  meaning,  and  that  an  evil  one.  Consequently, 
Mrs.  Spalding  felt  that  it  was  her  duty  to  inform  her 
young  friend  of  the  scandal  that  was  busy  with  her 
name. 

*'  You  see  a  good  deal  of  that  Mr.  Ferrars,  don't 
you,  dear .-'  "  she  said  in  the  course  of  a  Sunday  after- 
noon call  on  Mrs.  Sylvester. 

Ted  had  been  present  when  she  arrived,  but  she 
had  sat  him  out  with  inflexible  determination. 

"  Yes,  I  see  him  nearly  every  day,"  answered 
Candida.     "  We  are  very  old  friends." 

Mrs.  Spalding  shook  her  head  mournfully. 

"  Ah,  friendship  is  a  beautiful  thing,"  she  murmured. 
"  What  a  pity  it  is  that  the  world  is  so  censorious. 
It  never  can  be  brought  to  believe  in  friendship  when 
the  friends  are  young  and  of  different  sexes." 

"  What  do  you  mean  ?  "  asked  her  hostess,  bluntly, 
for  there  was  innuendo  in  the  visitor's  tone  and  look  as 
well  as  in  her  words. 

"  Well,  dear,  you  know  how  unkind  people  are,  how 
ready  they  are  to  gossip  about  young  women  in  your 
position.  A  wife  who  is  separated  from  her  husband 
has  to  be  doubly  careful  if  she  would  escape  calumny. 
And  then — Mr.  Ferrars'  wife  having  left  him — I'm 
afraid  some  people  think  that  you  are  consoling  each 
other.  Of  course,  I  don't  believe  a  word  of  it,"  she 
added  hastily.  "  I  have  every  confidence  in  you, 
and  so  has  my  husband.  Still,  I  thought  it  was  only 
right  you  should  know  what  was  being  said,  in  order 


246  THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA. 

that  you  might  be  just  a  little  more  careful  in  the 
future." 

Candida  sat  looking  straight  in  front  of  her  for  a 
moment,  a  deep  flush  standing  in  her  cheeks.  Her 
friendship  was  spoilt  now,  tarnished  and  poisoned  by 
the  world's  venomous  breath ;  that  beautiful  friend- 
ship which  had  brought  so  much  comfort  and  bright- 
ness into  her  life.  She  realized  its  full  value  now  for 
the  first  time. 

"  Thank  you,"  she  said  at  length,  speaking  almost 
mechanically.  "  I  will  remember  what  you  have  told 
me.     I  will  be  more  careful." 

The  visitor  having  accomplished  her  mission, 
presently  departed.  But  Candida  sat  still,  with  her 
chin  on  her  hand,  lost  in  thought.  What  was  to 
happen  now  ?  Was  she  to  give  up  Ted  in  obedience 
to  the  world's  mandate  ?  No,  that  was  absurd,  im- 
possible. A  real  true  friendship  was  too  precious  a 
thing  to  be  sacrificed  just  because  a  few  evil-tongued, 
evil-minded  persons  chose  to  chatter.  Even  as  she 
came  to  that  decision  she  shivered  at  the  bare  thought 
of  the  chatter.  She  was  no  longer  independent  of  the 
world,  she  could  no  longer  face  with  contemptuous 
indifference  the  shafts  of  the  scandal-mongers,  for 
Roley's  mother,  like  Caesar's  wife,  should  be  above 
suspicion. 

A  compromise  naturally  suggested  itself.  Perhaps 
she  had  been  injudicious  in  seeing  so  much  of  Ted, 
since  persons  as  well  as  actions  are  apt  to  become  a 


THE  CAREER  OF  CANDIDA.  247 

habit.  They  must  not  meet  so  often  in  future  ;  once 
a  week,  or,  better  still,  once  a  fortnight,  would  be 
quite  enough.  She  would  announce  her  decision  to 
Ted  next  time  he  came,  and  that  would  certainly  be 
to-morrow.  Yes,  she  really  had  been  rather  impru- 
dent, more  especially  since  her  capacity  for  earning  a 
livelihood  depended  upon  the  blamelessness  of  her 
character.  If  it  were  true  that  the  man  who  had  a 
wife  and  children  had  given  hostages  to  fortune,  it 
was  no  less  certain  that  the  woman  who  became  a 
mother  gave  hostages  to  Mrs.  Grundy. 

The  following  evening  Ted  arrived  earlier  than 
usual,  for  he  was  full  of  a  new  literary  project  that  he 
had  undertaken.  This  was  a  series  of  articles  for  a 
legal  review  upon  the  differences  in  the  laws  as  they 
affect  the  two  sexes,  and  the  causes,  both  historical 
and  psychological,  that  had  led  to  such  differences. 
In  this  work  he  was  anxious  to  have  Candida's  advice 
and  assistance. 

The  hour  grew  late,  and  still  Ted  turned  over  the 
leaves  of  his  manuscript,  quoted  acts  and  clauses,  and 
made  notes  or  emendations  in  accordance  with  the 
suggestions  of  his  companion.  Nothing  could  have 
been  more  innocent  or  less  sentimental  than  their 
intercourse,  in  which  even  a  Mrs.  Spalding  could  have 
found  no  ground  for  criticism. 

"  Well,  I  suppose  I  ought  to  be  going,"  said  Ted,  at 
length,  getting  up  with  a  sigh  of  regret  "  We  seem 
to  be  always  saying  good-bye." 


248  THE   CAREER  OF   CANDIDA- 

"  That  is  because  we  meet  so  often/*  returned  Can- 
dida, thinking  that  here  was  a  good  opportunity  for 
explaining  the  change  that  she  was  about  to  make  in 
the  manner  of  their  intercourse.  "If  we  only  met 
once  a  week,  we  should  only  say  good-bye  once  a 
week." 

^  "  That  fact  is  quite  indisputable,"  said  Ted,  laugh- 
ing. "  You  might  add  that  if  we  never  met  we  should 
never  have  to  say  good-bye.  But  my  objection  to 
saying  good-bye  to  you  is  not  strong  enough  to  lead 
me  to  renounce  your  society." 

Candida  considered  for  a  moment.  When  it  came 
to  the  point,  she  found  that  it  was  not  so  easy  to  in- 
form Ted  of  her  decision  as  it  had  seemed  the  evening 
before,  and  she  felt  a  little  nervous  as  to  the  way  in 
which  he  would  receive  it. 

"If  you  don't  mind,"  she  began  hesitatingly,  "I 
think  it  might  be  as  well  if  we  didn't  meet  quite  so 
often,  for  the  present,  at  least  Once  a  fortnight 
would  really  be  often  enough." 

Ted  turned  upon  her  eyes  full  of  reproachful 
surprise. 

"You  are  getting  tired  of  me?"  he  asked  sadly. 
"  I  have  worn  out  even  your  patience  and  kindness  ? 
And  all  the  time  I  thought  that  we  were  such  good 
friends,  that  you  really  enjoyed  our  palavers  almost 
as  much  as  I  did  myself.  Well,  that  only  shows  what 
a  blind  idiot  a  man  can  be,  how  easily  he  is  taken  in 
by  a  woman.      As  long  as  she  listens  to  him  kindly, 


THE  CAREER  OF  CANDIDA.  249 

and  pretends  to  enjoy  his  society,  he  never  notices 
how  often  she  yawns  behind  her  hand,  how  bored  she 
is  with  him  and  his  egoistic  chatter." 

"  Oh,  don't  talk  like  that,"  cried  Candida,  throwing 
prudence  to  the  winds,  and  relapsing  into  her  native 
frankness,  "  I  never  get  tired  of  my  friends,  and  I 
am  sure  I  shall  miss  our  talks  quite  as  much  as  you, 
if  not  more.  It  is  not  on  my  own  account  that* 
I  have  proposed  this  change,  but  the  fact  is  that  I 
heard  that — that  people  were  talking — were  saying 
that  you  and  I  saw  too  much  of  each  other." 

"  The  old  cats  !  "  exclaimed  Ted,  savagely.  "  What 
business  is  it  of  theirs  ?  Besides,  people  always  talk 
about  everybody.  You  don't  mean  to  say  that  you 
paid  any  attention  to  that  cackle  ? " 

"  I  had  to,  because  Mrs.  Spalding  spoke  to  me 
about  it,  and  her  husband  is  on  the  committee  of 
management  There  is  Roley  to  be  thought  of,  you 
know." 

"Well,  what  do  you  intend  to  do?"  he  asked 
grimly.     "  Send  me  to  the  right-about  ? " 

"  No,  there  can  be  no  necessity  for  that.  But  for 
the  present  we  had  better  not  see  each  other  more 
than  once  a  fortnight  or  thereabouts,  instead  of  nearly 
every  day." 

"  How  calmly  you  arrange  it  all,"  he  said,  with  a 
bitter  laugh.  "  Evidently  it  is  no  more  to  you  than 
if  you  had  settled  to  have  fish  for  dinner  once  a 
fortnight   instead   of    every   day.      I    suppose    that 


2SO  THE   CAREER  OF  CANDIDA. 

women  cannot  feel  friendship  any  more  than  love  in 
the  degree  that  men  do." 

"  No ;  but  women  prefer  half  a  loaf  to  no  bread, 
while  men  demand  all  or  nothing." 

"  I  don't  think  you  can  accuse  me  of  having 
demanded  all  or  nothing,"  returned  Ted.  *'  However, 
if  you  have  determined  to  reduce  my  half  loaf  to  an 
'occasional  crust,  I  suppose  that  I  must  submit. 
When  do  you  propose  to  bestow  the  next  few  crumbs 
upon  me?" 

"  Now,  don't  be  absurd  and  unreasonable,  because 
that  only  makes  things  harder  for  me.  Let  us  make 
up  our  minds  to  be  patient,  and  wait  for  the  good 
time  when  we  shall  be  old  enough  to  do  as  we  like." 

"And  too  old  to  enjoy  doing  anything,"  he  an- 
swered moodily.  "  Why  can't  people  live  and  let 
live,  instead  of  martyrizing  themselves  and  each  other 
in  the  name  of  some  ridiculous  fetish  called  society  ?  " 

"  That  fetish  may  seem  ridiculous  to  a  man,"  said 
Candida,  "  but  it  is  powerful  enough  to  ruin  a 
woman.     "  So  good-bye  till  this  day  fortnight." 


CHAPTER    XXII. 

The  fortnight  passed  with  leaden  footsteps.  Candida 
was  surprised,  almost  alarmed,  to  find  how  keenly 
she  missed  her  companion  of  the  past  few  months. 
Roley  had  been  sent  to  Branksmead  for  change  of 
air,  so  that  she  was  doubly  alone.  Her  heart  had 
long  since  recovered  from  the  wound  that  had  been 
dealt  it,  and  her  healthy  nature  had  recovered  its 
elasticity,  while,  like  most  women  of  strong  vitality, 
she  craved  for  human  sympathy  and  human  com- 
panionship more  ardently  than  her  sisters  of  slower 
pulse  and  colder  blood.  Mentally  and  physically  she 
had  now  reached  her  prime,  and,  complete  woman  as 
she  was,  neither  her  work  nor  even  her  boy  could 
wholly  fill  her  mind,  nor  satisfy  the  hunger  of  her 
heart. 

As  the  time  crept  slowly  by,  she  found  herself 
continually  thinking  of  Ted,  and  counting  the  days 
to  his  next  visit.  In  vain  she  chid  herself  for  this 
folly — a  folly  for  which  she  held  Mrs.  Spalding  mainly 
accountable,  since;  if  that  lady  had   not  occasioned 


252  THE  CAREER  OF  CANDIDA. 

this  sudden  break  in  their  intercourse,  it  would  have 
flowed  serenely  on,  and  she  would  never  have  thought 
of  Ted  otherwise  than  as  her  old  friend,  almost  her 
brother.  Now,  she  was  always  wondering  what  he 
was  doing,  whether  he  was  thinking  of  her,  whether 
he  was  very  dull  without  her.  She  had  always  appre- 
ciated his  society,  but  now  she  became  vividly  con- 
scious of  his  good  points.  How  thoughtful  and  careful 
he  always  was  of  her  comfort  when  they  went  about 
together ;  her  conscience  smote  her  as  she  remembered 
that  she  had  sometimes  laughed  at  him  for  his  fussi- 
ness.  How  kind  he  had  been  to  Roley,  too  ;  Roley 
would  miss  his  playfellow  sadly  when  he  came  back 
to  town.  Then,  however  busy  he  might  be,  he  was 
always  ready  to  advise  her  in  her  difficulties,  and  to 
sympathize  with  her  about  her  worries.  Lastly, 
he  had  kept  her  in  touch  with  the  world  of  men, 
told  what  people  were  saying  and  thinking,  insisted 
on  her  keeping  herself  au  conrant  with  the  litera- 
ture of  the  day,  carried  her  off  to  see  the  best  plays 
and  pictures, — in  a  word,  had  prevented  her  from 
letting  herself  go  to  rust,  as  a  woman  is  apt  to 
do  when  she  lives  alone,  and  has  no  intimate  men 
friends. 

The  night  before  their  next  meeting  she  lay  awake 
for  hours,  longing  for  the  dawn,  and  when  the  day 
arrived  it  seemed  as  long  as  the  whole  fortnight  that 
had  preceded  it.  But  at  length  came  evensong,  and 
with  it  Ted.     A  strange  shyness  fell  upon  the  friends 


THE  CAREER  OF  CANDIDA.  253 

as  they  greeted  each  other  once  more ;  it  seemed  as 
if  some  invisible  barrier  had  been  raised  between  them. 
At  first  they  talked  rapidly  and  nervously  upon 
indifferent  topics,  but  little  by  little  their  unnatural 
fluency  deserted  them,  and  presently  they  relapsed 
into  silence.  For  a  few  moments  they  sat  side  by 
side  in  the  dimly  lighted  room,  each  thinking,  or  rather 
feeling,  what  could  not  be  put  into  words.  It  was 
Ted  who  first  broke  the  silence. 

"  It  seems  a  hundred  years  since  last  Sunday  week," 
he  observed,  speaking  for  -the  first  time  in  natural 
tones. 

Candida  answered  nothing,  though  her  heart  beat 
a  quick  assent. 

"I  thought  the  fortnight  would  never  end,"  he 
went  on.  "  I  dare  say  you'll  think  me  very  foolish, 
but  last  night  I  couldn't  sleep  for  thinking  that  I  was 
to  see  you  again  so  soon,  and  all  to-day  I  have  been 
feeling  as  if  the  evening  would  never  come.  I  don't 
suppose  you  can  understand  it,  because  you  have 
your  boy,  and  plenty  of  friends  besides.  You  are 
not  so  dependent  on  my  society  as  I  am  on  yours. 
I  never  realized  how  much  our  friendship  meant  to 
me  until  I  was  suddenly  deprived  of  it.  I  feel  now 
like  a  starving  man,  who  can  only  look  forward  to  a 
meal  every  other  week.  Perhaps  it  would  be  kinder 
to  put  him  out  of  his  misery  once  and  for  all." 

"  He  has  the  remedy  in  his  own  hands,"  she 
answered,  speaking  the  more  coldly  for  the  difficulty 
17 


254  THE  CAREER  OF  CANDIDA. 

that  she  had  in  steadying  her  voice.  It  seemed  so 
hard  that  he  should  be  sad  and  solitary  when  she 
would  so  gladly  give  him  comfort  and  companion- 
ship. 

"Then  you  wouldn't  care  if  there  were  an  end  of 
it  all,"  he  answered  bitterly,  for  his  ear  was  not  fine 
epough  to  detect  the  quaver  in  her  voice.  "No,  I 
don't  believe  you  would.  You  are  as  hard  and  cold 
and  cautious  as  the  rest  of  your  sex.  Women  only 
consider  what  people  will  say,  and  what  people  will 
think.  When  it  comes  to  a  choice  between  prudence 
and — friendship,  they  don't  hesitate  to  choose  pru- 
dence. They  will  throw  over  their  best  friends  any 
moment  at  the  world's  bidding." 

"I  know,"  she  said  proudly.  "Because  we  can 
hold  our  tongues  and  control  our  passions,  you  say 
that  we  have  no  hearts,  just  as  some  modern  scientists 
imagine  that  we  feel  pain  less  keenly  than  men, 
because  we  bear  it  with  more  fortitude.  Well,  you 
shall  have  the  whole  truth  for  once  from  a  woman's 
lips,  but  you  will  have  only  yourself  to  thank  if  my 
frankness  puts  an  end  to  our  friendship  for  ever 
Listen,  then.  I,  too,  have  felt  as  if  the  past  fortnight 
were  a  hundred  years — a  hundred  hundred  years  ;  I, 
too,  lay  awake  last  night,  longing  for  the  dawn  ;  and 
I,  too,  thought  this  day  would  never  pass.  I,  too, 
have  been  lonely  and  unsatisfied,  and  hungering  for 
your  return.  Is  that  enough  for  you  ?  Can  I  feel  ? 
Am  I  still  cold  and  hard  and  cautious?" 


THE   CAREER  OF  CANDIDA.  255 

He  had  sprung  to  his  feet  while  she  was  speaking, 
and  now  with  one  step  he  was  at  her  side. 

"You  are  an  angel,"  he  cried.  "Bless  you  for 
telling  me  the  truth,  for  not  torturing  me  to  satisfy 
your  vanity  or  your  prudishness.  Oh,  I  can  never 
thank  you  enough  for  making  me  so  happy  as  I  am 
to-night." 

"  How  can  you  say  that  ? "  she  said,  shrinking 
away  from  him,  "when  you  know  what  this  means, 
what  it  involves." 

"Yes,  yes,"  he  returned  eagerly.  "It  means  that 
we  belong  to  each  other  now.  No  one  else  has  any 
claim  upon  us ;  those  that  had  have  forfeited  it." 

"It  means  that  we  must  see  each  other  no  more. 
Our  friendship  is  at  an  end,  and  love  may  not  take 
its  place.  Wait,"  she  added,  as  she  saw  the  vehement 
protest  in  his  face.  "  Have  you  ever  known  a  man 
who  had  been  caught  cheating  at  cards  ? " 

"Yes,  I  suppose  I  have,"  he  answered  in  surprise. 
"  What  has  that  got  to  do  with  it  ? " 

"You  know  how  he  was  punished  for  his  offence. 
You  know  that  he  was  regarded  as  an  outcast,  a 
pariah,  that  even  his  friends  and  relations  fell  away 
from  him,  as  if  he  were  afflicted  with  some  leprous 
disease.  You  know  that  socially  he  was  dead  and 
buried,  though  his  lonely  ghost  still  flitted  about  the 
earth,  finding  no  rest,  no  comfort,  no  sympathy. 
And  you  know  that  this  dreadful  death  in  Hfe  might 
go  on  for  years  and  years,  till  he  became  an  old  man, 


256  THE  CAREER  OF  CANDIDA. 

and  really  died  at  last,  still  alone,  still  an  outcast, 
still  a  shame  and  reproach  to  all  who  were  connected 
with  him.  You  wonder  what  all  this  has  to  do  with 
you  and  me.  Can't  you  understand }  Don't  you 
realize  that  society  treats  a  woman  who  rebels  against 
its  unwritten  laws  precisely  in  the  same  manner  as  it 
treats  a  man  who  has  been  convicted  of  cheating  at 
cards  ? " 

Ted  fell  back  a  step  or  two,  a  baffled  look  in  his 
eyes. 

"  Damn  society  1 "  he  muttered.  *'  Would  not  you 
and  I  be  enough  for  each  other  ? " 

"  For  a  little  while,  perhaps.  But  afterwards,  when 
youth  had  passed  and  passion  died  out,  do  you  think 
that  we  shouldn't  feel  our,  or  rather  my,  isolation  ? 
And  the  more  you  cared  for  me,  the  more  grieved 
and  angered  you  would  be  to  see  me  disgraced  and 
degraded  ;  and  not  me  alone,  but  perhaps  others  no 
less  dear  to  you.  You  may  say  that  our  social  laws 
are  cruel  and  unjust ;  perhaps  they  are.  But  they 
were  made  by  men  for  the  benefit  of  men,  and  there- 
fore it  is  unreasonable  for  a  man  to  complain  of  them." 

He  made  no  answer  for  a  few  moments. 

"Yes,  it  is  all  true,"  he  said  at  length.  "I  cannot 
deny  it.  But  still  I  see  no  necessity  for  our  parting. 
I  can  bear  anything  but  that.  I  will  be  reasonable ; 
I  will  be  satisfied  with  a  half-loaf,  with  an  occasional 
crust.  Let  me  be  your  friend  and  comrade  still,  if  I 
may  be  no  n^ore," 


THE   CAREER  OF  CANDID.\.  257 

"Impossible,"  she  said.  "Friendship  and  love 
cannot  exist  together ;  the  one  bums  the  other  up. 
We  are  not  children,  but  grown-up  man  and  woman, 
and  you  know  as  well  as  I  that  such  an  arrangement 
could  have  but  one  ending.  You  may  fancy  that 
you  are  strong  enough  to  keep  within  the  limits  of 
friendship,  never  to  hint  at  love  by  word  or  look, 
but  I  don't  believe  you  are,  and  I  know  that  I  am 
not." 

It  was  the  truth,  but  the  truth  is  not  always  prudent 
from  a  woman  to  a  man.  The  confession  sent  the 
blood  racing  through  the  young  man's  veins,  while  a 
triumphant  sense  of  impending  victory  filled  his  heart. 
He  came  close  to  her  side,  and  took  both  her  hands 
in  his. 

"You  have  a  man's  tongue  in  a  woman's  mouth," 
he  cried  joyfully.  "If  I  were  really  never  to  see 
you  again,  the  memory  of  those  words  would  sweeten 
all  my  life.  But  I  say  that  we  are  to  meet  as  often 
as  we  please ;  I  will  never  let  you  go.  As  for  the 
world,  we'll  throw  dust  in  its  stupid  eyes,  and  gag  its 
malignant  tongue.  We  have  only  to  be  careful,  to 
keep  our  own  counsel.  Of  course,  if  the  Mrs,  Spaldings 
of  society  are  to  be  deceived,  we  must  not  meet  here, 
or  only  at  long  intervals.  To-morrow  I  will  set  about 
making  other  arrangements,  and  in  the  evening  I 
will  come  once  more  to  talk  them  over  with  you." 

Candida  made  one  last  effort  to  free  herself  from 
the  net  into  which  she  felt  she  was  being  drawn,  but 


258  THE  CAREER  OF  CANDIDA. 

her  powers  of  resistance  seemed  to  be  gradually  melt- 
ing away  beneath  the  magic  of  her  lover's  look  and 
voice  and  clasp. 

"  It  would  be  so  degrading,"  she  murmured.  "  We 
should  be  always  acting  a  lie,  living  a  hole-and-corner 
life." 

"That  would  be  the  world's  fault  for  forcing  such 
a  course  upon  us,"  he  answered.  "We  should  be 
doing  no  wrong.  There  is  no  law,  human  or  divine, 
against  friendship." 

Still  holding  her  hands  in  his,  he  bent  towards  her, 
his  purpose  plainly  visible  in  his  eyes. 

"No,  no,"  she  pleaded,  turning  away  her  head. 
"  Let  us  keep  up  the  pretence  of  friendship  as  long 
as  we  can." 

"  I  will  never  ask  anything  of  you  that  you  are  not 
willing  to  give  to  me  freely  out  of  love  and  kindness," 
he  said,  instantly  releasing  her.  "Good-bye,  dearest 
friend,  till  to-morrow." 

As  soon  as  the  door  closed  behind  him,  Candida 
dropped  into  a  chair,  and  moaned  in  bitter  humilia- 
tion. 

"Oh,  what  a  weak  fool — what  a  weak,  cowardly 
fool  I  am  ! " 

Now  that  the  spell  which  his  presence  exercised 
over  her  was  removed,  she  could  see  clearly  the  folly, 
the  madness,  of  the  secret  compact  to  which  she  had 
tacitly  agreed.  To-morrow  she  must  tell  him  that 
she  could  not  carry  out  her  part  in  it,  must  make 


THE  CAREER  OF  CANDIDA.  259 

him  understand  that  it  was  impossible  they  should 
continue  to  play  at  friendship,  with  love  always 
smiling  behind  the  mask.  But  was  she  strong  enough 
to  see  him  again,  to  tell  him  her  decision  by  word 
of  mouth  ?  Would  it  not  be  better,  safer,  to  leave  a 
note  for  him  next  evening,  and  refuse  him  admission 
henceforward  ?  And  yet,  would  it  be  fair  or  kind  to 
cast  him  off  for  ever  without  so  much  as  a  good  wish 
or  friendly  word  at  parting  ?  Her  own  suffering  she 
regarded  as  no  more  than  a  just  punishment  for  her 
blindness  long  ago,  when  she  had  deliberately  chosen 
the  false  and  rejected  the  true,  but  he — ought  she 
not  to  try  and  soften  his  disappointment,  to  alleviate 
as  far  as  words  could  do  it,  the  pain  that  she  was 
about  to  cause  him  ?  But  then,  if  she  were  to  be 
unable  to  resist  his  prayers  and  entreaties,  if  her  own 
heart  were  to  play  her  false  once  again,  there  would 
be  nothing  but  a  renewed  and  even  more  agonizing 
struggle  in  store  for  both  of  them. 

These  pros  and  cons  occupied  her  mind  through  the 
long  hours  of  the  wakeful  night,  through  the  leisure 
intervals  of  the  busy  day,  and  yet  when  evening 
came  the  problem  was  not  yet  solved.  She  expected 
her  visitor  to  arrive  at  eight ;  the  clock  struck  six, 
seven,  half-past  seven,  and  still  she  had  written  no 
note,  given  no  orders  to  the  servant.  A  ring  at  the 
bell  made  her  start  violently,  and  almost  stopped  the 
beating  of  her  heart.  Could  it  be  Ted  half  an  hour 
before  his  time  ?     If  so,  it  was  too  late  to  forbid  his 


26o  THE   CAREER   OF  CANDIDA. 

entrance,  for  she  could  hear  Martha  already  at  the 
door.  A  dull  sense  of  disappointment  and  foreboding 
stole  over  her  as  the  maid  brought  in  a  note.  The 
handwriting  was  so  faint  and  tremulous  that  at  first 
she  failed  to  recognize  it,  but  a  hasty  glance  at  the 
contents  was  sufficient  to  convince  her  that  the 
question  which  had  been  troubling  her  was  solved, 
and  solved  for  ever. 

The  note,  which  was  dated  from  a  street  in  Chelsea, 
ran  as  follows: — 

"  I  am  dying ;  but  I  can't  die  in  peace  until  I 
have  seen  you  once  more,  and  asked  your  forgiveness 
for  a  wrong  I  have  done  you.  Come  to  me  soon,  for 
I  cannot  tell  how  much  time  may  be  still  left  to  me. 

"Sabina." 

Candida  put  the  note,  together  with  a  few  words 
from  herself,  into  an  envelope,  and  left  it  with  the 
servant  to  be  given  to  Mr.  Ferrars  when  he  called. 
Then,  hastily  putting  on  her  hat  and  cloak,  she  set 
out  upon  her  journey.  It  was  a  long  drive  to  the 
little  street  out  of  the  King's  Road,  where,  in  the 
second-floor  bedroom  of  a  dingy  lodging-house  she 
found  her  friend. 

Sabina  was  lying  on  a  sofa,  wrapped  in  a  faded 
pink  dressing-gown,  and  looked  but  the  wreck  of  her 
former  self  Her  once  brilliant  colouring  was  changed 
to  a  waxy  pallor,  her  curly  hair  cut  short,  her  eyes 


THE  CAREER  OF   CANDIDA.  261 

dull  and  sunken,  and  her  face  so  thin  that  the  bones 
of  her  cheeks  were  plainly  discernible. 

"It  was  very  good  of  you  to  come  so  soon,"  she 
said  feebly,  as  Candida  entered.  "  But  I  thought 
you  would.  Please  come  and  sit  down  close  beside 
me,  because  my  voice  is  weak.  I  have  so  much  to 
tell  you,  and  I  am  longing  to  get  it  over.  Then  I 
can  die  in  peace." 

"  But  you "   said   Candida.     "  I  am   so  sorry 

to  see  you  like  this.  Why  did  you  come  to  this 
dreadful  place  ?  Why  didn't  you  let  your  friends 
know  that  you  were  alone  and  ill  ? " 

"  I'll  tell  you  all  about  that  afterwards,  if  you  still 
care  to  hear  it.  There  is  something  that  I  must  get 
off  my  mind  first.  You  won't  be  very  angry  with  me, 
will  you  ?    You'll  promise  to  forgive  me,  as  I'm  dying." 

"Yes,  yes,  of  course,  though  I  hope  you  are  not 
so  ill  as  you  think,"  answered  Candida.  "  I  have  no 
right  to  judge  you  or  anybody  else." 

Sabina  was  silent  for  a  moment.  Then,  turning 
away  her  head,  she  said  in  a  low  voice — 

"  I  was  the  woman  you  told  to  run." 

For  an  instant  Candida  stared  at  her  uncompre- 
hendingly.  Then  in  a  flash  the  half-forgotten  scene 
returned  to  her  mind.  The  quivering  shoulders  of  a 
shame-stricken  woman,  a  man  standing  by  pale  and 
defiant,  the  sight  of  the  grimy  court  as  she  leaned 
out  of  the  window,  the  sound  of  rustling  skirts  and 
pattering  feet. 


262  THE  CAREER  OF  CANDIDA. 

"  You — you  were  that  woman  ? "  she  stammered. 

"Yes,  but  don't — please  don't  be  angry  with  me. 
It  wasn't  so  bad  as  you  think,  though  it  was  bad 
enough.  It  all  began  that  summer  at  Branksmead 
when  I  was  staying  at  the  Vicarage.  I  thought  it 
was  only  fun  at  first ;  we  were  just  playfellows, 
nothing  more.  But  when  we  went  back  to  town  he 
got  into  the  way  of  coming  to  see  me,  and  nearly 
always  when  Ted  was  out,  or  on  circuit.  Then, 
after  your  baby  was  bom,  I  came  to  stay  with  you, 
and  it  was  about  that  time  that  I  first  began  to  get 
frightened.  He  was  different,  and  I — you  know  how 
weak  I  have  always  been." 

She  stopped  to  cough,  and  Candida  mechanically 
pulled  up  the  cushions,  and  placed  her  in  a  more 
comfortable  position. 

"Then  I  came  to  you  at  the  cottage,"  went  on 
Sabina.  "And  you  remember  that  I  went  home 
suddenly  before  the  time  was  up ;  that  was  because 
I  dared  not  stay  any  longer.  Oh,  I  did  struggle, 
Candida ;  I  thought  of  you  and  Ted,  and  I  fought 
against  the  temptation  with  all  my  might,  though  I 
was  miserable,  and  saw  that  he  was  too — Adrian,  1 
mean.  At  last  I  begged  him,  for  all  our  sakes,  not 
to  come  and  see  me  any  more,  but  to  keep  away  and 
forget  me,  and  allow  me  to  forget  him  too.  In  the 
end,  he  said  he  would  agree  to  all  I  wished,  if  I  would 
give  him  one  farewell  interview  at  the  office,  where 
we  should  be  alone  and  undisturbed.     He  said  it  was 


THE  CAREER  OF  CANDIDA.  263 

his  last  request,  and  that  after  that  I  should  never  see 
him  again  unless  I  desired  it.  I  would  have  consented 
to  almost  any  condition  that  would  put  an  end  to 
the  struggle  ;  so  I  went,  and  we  were  just  taking  our 
last  leave  of  each  other  when  you  came  in.  That  is 
the  whole  story ;  I  swear  it." 

"  I  believe  your  word,"  said  Candida.  "  He  told 
me  very  much  the  same." 

"  And  can  you  ever  forgive  me  ? " 

"  Yes,  indeed  ;  I  stand  as  much  in  need  of  forgive- 
ness as  you.  I,  too,  have  been  weak — only  saved  by 
accident,  perhaps,  from  worse  than  weakness.  I 
know  what  it  is  to  struggle,  and  be  beaten.  But  tell 
me  what  happened  afterwards.  Why  did  you  leave 
your  home  ? " 

"  I  don't  know  whether  I  can  make  you  understand. 
I  was  so  restless  and  miserable  after  that  dreadful 
day  that  I  felt  sometimes  as  if  I  were  going  out  of 
my  mind.  It  was  so  lonely,  too,  and  Ted  had  left 
off  caring  for  me  ;  I  knew  he  had,  though  he  tried  not 
to  show  it.  When  I  heard  that  you  had  left  your 
husband,  I  thought  that  perhaps  it  was  my  fault,  and 
I  could  have  killed  myself  for  my  treachery.  It  was 
about  that  time  that  I  met  old  Kesterton,  who  used 
to  be  at  the  Piccadilly,  and  he  told  me  that  he  was 
going  to  take  out  a  company  to  South  America,  and 
asked  if  I  would  like  an  engagement.  He  only 
meant  it  in  fun,  of  course,  and  I  thought  no  more  of 
it  till  a  day  or  two  later.     I  had  a  quarrel  with  Ted 


264  THE   CAREER  OF  CANDIDA. 

about  some  stupid  man  or  other,  and  he  said  dreadful 
things  to  me  ;  they  hurt  me  like  blows.  I  knew  he 
would  be  happier  without  me,  and  I  was  pining  for 
change  and  excitement — anything  to  make  me  forget ; 
so  I  went  off  to  Kesterton,  and  told  him  I  had 
quarrelled  with  my  husband,  and  would  be  glad  of 
an  engagement.  As  it  happened,  some  girl  had 
dropped  off  at  the  last  moment,  so  he  said  I  could 
have  the  vacant  place.  We  sailed  two  days  later, 
and  oh,  we  had  such  an  awful  time ! " 

"That  was  how  you  got  ill.?"  asked  Candida. 

"  Yes,  we  had  to  rough  it  horribly,  and  I  had  fever 
several  times.  Then  I  got  a  chill  on  the  top  of  that, 
and  had  bronchitis.  I  was  in  a  hospital  for  weeks 
at  Buenos  Ayres,  and  when  I  got  a  little  better,  they 
said  I  had  better  come  home,  as  the  voyage  would 
do  me  good.  But  we  had  such  stormy  weather  that 
it  made  me  worse,  and  now  I  have  only  come  home 
to  die." 

"Oh,  I  hope  that  is  only  your  fancy.  I  expect 
you  want  nothing  but  good  food  and  good  nursing, 
such  as  you  can't  possibly  get  here." 

"  No,  it's  not  my  fancy,"  said  Sabina.  "The  doctor 
told  me  I  shouldn't  recover  ;  at  least,  he  wouldn't  say 
I  should  when  I  asked  him  about  it,  and  he  wanted 
to  know  if  I  had  any  relations  I  should  like  to  com- 
municate with.  Then  I  understood  that  it  was  all 
up  with  me.  And  the  landlady  says  that  I  have 
death  in  my  face,  and  that  I  look  just  like  her  sister- 


THE  CAREER  OF  CANDIDA.  265 

in-Iaw's  cousin  before  she  was  carried  off  by  a  gallop- 
ing consumption." 

"  We  must  get  you  out  of  this  place  at  once,"  said 
Candida,  who  had  been  thinking  busily,  "There  is 
a  room  vacant  in  the  house  where  I  am  living,  and 
to-morrow  I  shall  bring  a  carriage  and  fetch  you 
home.  I  must  have  you  under  my  own  eye  if  I  am  to 
pull  you  through,  as  I  hope  to  do." 

"But  the  money,"  faltered  Sabina.  "I  have  very 
little,  only  just  enough  to  see  me  underground.  That 
is  why  I  came  to  this  place.  I  couldn't  be  a  burden 
upon — upon  anybody  I  had  behaved  ill  to." 

"I  ask  you  to  come  as  a  favour  to  myself,"  said 
Candida,  earnestly.  "Your  presence  in  the  house 
will  be  a  safeguard  to  me.  Come  for  my  sake, 
Sabina  ;  you  can  pay  me  back  some  day  if  you  really 
wish  it." 

"In  the  next  world,"  said  Sabina,  with  a  dreary 
smile.  "Well,  it  can't  be  for  long,  and  I  have  some 
jewellery  still,  which  you  can  have  when  I  am  dead. 
I  can't  believe  in  the  fable  of  my  presence  being  a 
safeguard  to  anybody,  least  of  all  to  you." 


CHAPTER    XXIII. 

The  removal  was  successfully  accomplished,  and  the 
invalid  established  in  a  room  adjoining  Candida's 
sitting-room.  Here  she  lay  on  her  sofa  from  morning 
till  night,  languidl)'  awaiting  the  summons  of  death. 
The  new  doctor  who  had  been  called  in  gave  no 
definite  hope  of  her  recovery.  She  was  in  a  state  of 
extreme  exhaustion,  he  said,  and  one  lung  was  affected, 
but  the  worst  symptom  of  all  was  her  total  lack  of 
desire  to  live.  She  seemed  to  be  gradually  fading 
away,  not  so  much  from  any  positive  disease  as  from 
the  fact  that  she  had  made  up  her  mind  to  die. 

Candida  had  seen  nothing  more  of  Ted,  but  she  had 
received  a  short,  coldly-worded  letter  from  him,  re- 
questing her  to  do  everything  that  was  necessary  for 
Sabina's  welfare,  and  to  hold  him  responsible  for  all 
expense  that  she  might  incur  upon  that  account. 
Apparently  he  had  no  desire  for  an  interview  with 
his  truant  wife,  nor  did  he  express  any  interest  in 
her  fate.  Sabina  asked  once  or  twice  where  Ted  was 
living,  and   wondered  whether  he  had   forgiven  her, 


THE  CAREER  OF  CANDIDA.  267 

but  she  evidently  had  not  the  courage  to  beg  that 
she  might  see  him  once  more,  and  receive  his  pardon 
from  his  own  h*ps.  Once  she  expressed  her  regret 
that  her  presence  in  the  house  prevei.ted  him  from 
enjoying  the  society  of  his  old  comrade. 

"  You  said  Ted  used  to  come  here  sometimes  when 
you  were  alone,"  she  observed.  "  It  is  a  pity  that 
you  should  never  see  each  other  now.  He  never 
really  liked  me  half  as  well  as  he  did  you  ;  I  was 
only  a  pis  aller.  I  sometimes  think,"  she  added, 
with  a  little  laugh,  "that  on  our  wedding-day  we — 
we  must  have  sorted  ourselves  wrong." 

"What  do  you  mean?"  asked  Candida,  feeling 
ready  to  kill  herself  for  the  blush  that  she  knew  had 
risen  to  her  cheek. 

"  I  mean  that  in  the  flurry  of  the  moment  we  some- 
how got  mixed.  I  ought  to  have  had  Adrian,  because 
I  should  have  understood  him,  and  known  how  to 
manage  him.  I  should  have  teased  and  coaxed  and 
piqued  and  provoked  him,  so  that  he  would  never 
have  felt  sure  of  me,  and  no  other  woman  would  have 
seemed  half  so  interesting.  I  know  exactly  how  to 
win  and  keep  that  sort  of  man.  Then,  of  course,  you 
and  Ted  would  have  fitted  each  other  like  hand  and 
glove.  He  wanted  no  managing,  and  he  would  have 
been  perfectly  happy  with  a  woman  who  could  talk 
to  him  and  enter  into  his  interests,  and  he  would  have 
asked  nothing  better  than  that  she  should  be  always 
the  same.     He  would  never  have  tired  either  of  her  or 


268  THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA. 

the  domestic  hearth,  while  a  son  would  have  filled  his 
cup  to  overflowing.  Yes,  we  certainly  sorted  ourselves 
wrong ;  there  are  unlooked-for  dangers  in  a  double 
ceremony.  However,  Ted  will  soon  have  a  chance 
of  retrieving  his  blunder.  You  must  be  friends  with 
him  again  when  I  am  gone." 

"  But  I  am  not  going  to  let  you  go,"  said  Candida. 
"  If  you  would  only  make  up  your  mind  to  get  well, 
you  would  soon  be  about  again." 

"  Why  should  I }  Nobody  wants  me,  nobody  cares 
about  me.  I  have  grown  such  a  fright  now,  and 
I  never  had  anything  to  recommend  me  but  my 
looks.     I  am  much  better  out  of  the  way." 

It  was  this  conversation  which  put  it  into  Candida's 
head  to  try  the  effect  of  a  new  treatment.  She  wrote 
to  Ted,  asking  him  to  give  her  an  interview  the  next 
afternoon  at  the  Gymnasium,  as  she  wanted  to  consult 
with  him  about  a  question  that  concerned  Sabina. 
Punctually  at  the  appointed  hour  he  arrived,  but  her 
heart  sank  as  she  looked  into  his  face ;  its  expression 
was  cold  and  stern. 

"Sabina  is  very  ill,"  she  told  him.  "She  gets  no 
better,  and  unless  we  can  do  something  to  induce  her 
to  take  some  interest  in  life,  I  am  afraid  we  shall 
lose  her." 

"I    am    sorry,"    he    said,  looking  quite  unmoved. 

"  Anything  in  my  power " 

"  There  is  one  thing  in  your  power  that  would  give 
her  a  little  comfort — forgiveness.     She  feels  that  she 


THE   CAREER  OF  CANDIDA.  269 

has  sinned  beyond  all  hope  of  pardon,  and  become 
an  object  of  indifference,  if  not  contempt,  to  those  who 
once  loved  her.  And  Sabina  cannot  live  without  kind- 
ness, any  more  than  a  flower  without  sunshine." 

"  What  do  you  want  me  to  do  ? "  he  asked.  "  You 
can  tell  her  that  I  am  willing  to  forgive  her,  if  you 
think  that  will  do  her  any  good." 

"  I  want  you  to  tell  her  so  yourself,  to  make  her 
understand  that  she  still  has  a  friend  in  you,  that  she 
is  not  entirely  alone  in  the  world,  despised  of  all  men. 
Surely  we  have  no  right  to  say  that  any  wrong  is  un- 
pardonable, no  right  to  refuse  a  fellow-sinner  a  second 
chance.  I  only  ask  you  to  hold  out  your  hand  to 
her,  and  help  her  on  her  feet  again.  I  want  you  to 
give  her  a  little  hope,  because  it  is  the  lack  of  hope 
that  is  killing  her  more  surely  than  any  disease." 

"I  can  forgive  her,  but  I  can  do  no  more,"  he 
returned.  "She  treated  me  with  wanton  selfishness 
and  cruelty.     She  has  no  further  claim  upon  me." 

"She  makes  none,  nor  I  for  her,  though  perhaps 
if  you  understood  more  you  would  not  feel  so  bitter 
against  her.  But,  of  course,  she  dared  not  tell  you  her 
secret  trials  and  sorrows,  nor  ask  for  pity  and  con- 
sideration in  her  darkest  hour.  Sabina  was  not  so 
heartless  as  you  thought ;  she  was  only  half  distracted 
with  misery,  and  fighting  for  something  more  than 

life." 

"  What  do  you  mean  ? "  he  asked,  turning  sharply 

upon  her. 
z8 


2^o  THE   CAREER  OF   CANDIDA. 

"  She  thought  you  had  ceased  to  care  for  her,  and 
another  man  came  by  and  filled  her  empty  heart. 
For  the  moment  she  was  almost  carried  away  by 
her  infatuation,  yet  she  remembered  her  duty  to 
you  and  to  others,  and  she  fought  against  him  and 
against  her  own  heart.  Finally  she  conquered,  and 
they  parted.  It  was  then  that  she  tried  to  deaden 
her  pain,  and  find  forgetfulness  in  gaiety  and  ex- 
citement. Then  came  the  quarrel,  and  she  fancied 
that  you  would  gladly  be  rid  of  her,  so  she  fled — 
alone.  The  rest  you  know.  Oh,  Ted,  we  who  have 
known  the  misery  and  fever  of  forbidden  love,  we 
who  have  so  nearly  sinned  against  truth  and  honour, 
what  right  have  we  to  be  hard  on  this  poor 
creature  who  has  been  punished  so  cruelly  for  all  her 
weakness } 

The  memory  of  their  last  meeting  was  vividly 
present  with  them  both.  The  lines  of  Ted's  face 
relaxed  at  last,  as  he  answered  more  gently — 

"  No,  God  knows  I  have  no  right  to  be  hard  upon 
her.  I  will  come  and  tell  her  that  I  bear  her  no  ill 
will,  and  that  she  must  always  look  upon  me  as  a 
friend.  Poor  girl,  I  used  to  fancy  she  was  unhappy, 
but,  of  course,  I  was  too  stupid  to  discover  the  cause." 

His  voice  and  manner  were  warmer  than  his  words, 
and  Candida  was  satisfied  with  the  result  of  her 
interview. 

Ted  lost  no  time  in  carrying  out  his  promise,  for 
he  arrived  in  Blake  Street  the  next  afternoon,  and 


THE  CAREER  OF  CANDIDA.  271 

asked  to  see  his  wife.  The  invalid  was  lying  on  a 
sofa,  a  wisp  of  lace  over  her  hair,  and  a  table  by  her 
side,  on  which  stood  a  vase  containing  three  lilies, 
and  a  small  Church-service  with  a  very  large  cross. 
These  were  the  correct  "properties"  for  a  dying  girl, 
and  Sabina,  though  perfectly  sincere  in  her  belief  in 
her  approaching  dissolution,  could  still  feel  an  artistic 
pleasure  in  an  effective  pose.  Ted's  heart  softened 
at  the  sight  of  her  little  pale  face  and  unnaturally 
big  eyes.  For  the  first  time  he  felt  convinced  that 
her  days  were  numbered  ;  it  was  so  impossible  to 
doubt  the  evidence  of  the  vase  of  lilies  and  the 
Church-service. 

"  It  is  so  good  of  you  to  come ! "  she  murmured. 
"  I  have  been  hoping  to  see  you  once  more — for  the 
last  time." 

"  Oh,  you  mustn't  talk  like  that,  you  know,"  he 
said  awkwardly.  "  I  expect  you'll  soon  be  better  now 
that  Candida  has  taken  you  in  hand," 

She  smiled  and  gently  shook  her  head. 

"  You  are  going  to  forgive  me  ? "  she  said.  "  I 
know  I  don't  deserve  it,  but  it  is  the  last  thing  I 
shall  ever  ask  of  you.  I  was  selfish  and  heartless, 
and  you  were  always  so  kind  and  patient.  I  hope 
you'll  be  rewarded  for  it  some  day." 

"I  didn't  do  anything,"  he  answered  gruffly.  "I 
don't  think  we  quite  understood  each  other,  but  I 
dare  say  that  was  as  much  my  fault  as  yours.  Any- 
way, I  bear  no  malice,  and  I'm  sure  you  don't." 


272  THE  CAREER  OF  CANDIDA. 

"Ah,  but  the  cases  are  different,"  sighed  Sabina. 
"You  had  been  so  good  and  generous.  Not  one 
man  in  a  million  would  have  behaved  as  you  did  after 
— after  all  that  had  happened.  I  ought  to  have  repaid 
you  with  the  devotion  of  my  whole  life." 

"  No,  by  heaven,  I  can't  let  you  think  that,"  cried 
Ted.  "  I  had  no  more  right  than  another  man  to 
pose  as  a  superior  being,  a  sort  of  moral  King 
Cophetua.  I  married  you  because  I  loved  you,  and 
if  there  was  any  mesalliance  at  all,  it  was  on  your 
side,  not  on  mine." 

At  this  point,  greatly  to  his  consternation,  Sabina 
melted  into  tears. 

"  And  now  nobody  loves  me,"  she  sobbed.  "  I  am 
ugly  and  hateful,  and  a  burden  on  those  I  have 
behaved  ill  to.  Why  can't  I  die,  and  put  an  end 
to  it  all  ?  " 

"For  God's  sake,  don't  cry  like  that,"  exclaimed 
Ted,  anxiously,  for  tears  were  to  him  an  alarming 
mystery.  "You'll  only  make  yourself  worse,  and 
there's  nothing  whatever  to  cry  about.  I  expect  I 
was  a  stupid  clumsy  brute ;  I  hadn't  the  least  idea 
how  to  treat  a  woman  like  you.  I  dare  say  it  was 
all  my  fault.  I'm  sure  I'm  very  sorry.  Sabina,  do 
please  stop  crying,  and  say  you  forgive  me." 

It  was  altogether  a  most  unexpected  turning  of 
the  tables,  and  Ted  could  never  remember  afterwards 
how  he  came  to  be  on  his  knees  to  his  wife,  pleading 
for  pardon. 


THE  CAREER  OF  CANDIDA.  273 

"Of  course  I  do,"  answered  Sabina,  through  her 
tears.  "  I  was  never  hard  upon  you,  was  I,  Ted  ?  and 
I  never  nagged  at  you  as  a  better  woman  might  have 
done.  And  I  always  made  you  comfortable,  didn't 
I,  and  gave  you  good  dinners  ? " 

"You  did — ^you  always  did,"  he  confessed  peni- 
tently. "I'm  sure  I  don't  know  how  it  was  that 
things  went  wrong  ;  we  were  awfully  happy  at  first, 
do  you  remember  } " 

"  Yes,  weren't  we } "  returned  Sabina,  "  Ah,  one 
never  knows  how  to  value  a  thing  until  one  has 
thrown  it  away.  However,  everything  is  forgiven 
and  forgotten  now,  isn't  it,  and  I  can  die  in  peace } 
And  when  I'm  gone,  if  we  are  allowed  to  watch 
over  those  we  loved  on  earth " 

"  Oh,  don't  talk  like  that,"  put  in  Ted,  feeling  as 
though  the  invalid  might  develop  wings  before  his 
very  eyes.  "You'd  get  well  fast  enough  if  you  would 
only  try." 

"But  I  don't  want  to  try,"  she  said,  the  tears  still 
trickling  down  her  pale  cheeks.  "  There's  nothing  to 
live  for ;  nobody  wants  me.  And  the  time  seems  so 
long  lying  here  alone  all  day  when  Candida  is  out. 
I  wish  you  would  lend  me  some  books,  Ted.  Not 
novels,  of  course,  and  nothing  very  difficult,  because 
my  head  is  so  weak.  Poetry  would  be  best,  I  think 
— serious  poetry,  you  know." 

"  Yes,  yes ;  I'll  bring  you  some  to-morrow,"  he 
answered,   hastily   running  over  the  contents  of  his 


274  THE   CAREER  OF   CANDIDA. 

bookshelves  in  his  mind.  "And  perhaps  you'd  like 
me  to  read  aloud  to  you  sometimes ;  it  would  be 
better  for  your  head  than  reading  to  yourself." 

Ted  read  aloud  very  well,  and  knew  it. 

"  Oh,  if  you  only  would  ! "  cried  Sabina.  "  I  should 
be  so  grateful,  and  I'm  sure  you  will  be  rewarded  for 
all  your  goodness  some  day.  Perhaps,  when  I  am 
no  longer  here " 

But  at  this  Ted  jumped  up,  and  declared  that  he 
must  not  stop  any  longer,  or  he  would  tire  her  out. 

"I'll  look  in  again  to-morrow  about  tea-time,"  he 
said,  "and  bring  the  books.  And  I  dare  say  you 
would  like  some  more  flowers,"  he  added,  with  a 
respectful  glance  at  the  vase  of  lilies. 

It  was  from  the  date  of  this  interview  that  Sabina's 
health  began  to  improve,  and  though  she  still  talked 
about  dying,  she  was  soon  in  a  fair  way  to  complete 
recovery.  During  her  period  of  convalescence,  Ted 
came  nearly  every  afternoon,  generally  with  a  book 
under  his  arm,  and  an  offering  of  flowers  in  his  hand. 
He  began  his  course  of  reading  with  extracts  from 
"Paradise  Lost,"  Young's  "Night  Thoughts,"  and 
the  "  Christian  Year,"  As  Sabina  grew  stronger,  he 
administered  Cowper,  then  Wordsworth,  and  finally 
celebrated  the  doctor's  announcement  that  there  was 
no  more  cause  for  anxiety  with  a  prolonged  dose  of 
Bums. 

Then  August  came,  and  the  house  at  Hampstead, 
which  had  been  let  for  the  season,  was  thrown  upon 


THE   CAREER  OF  CANDIDA.  275 

its  owner's  hands  again.  It  was  about  this  time  that 
Ted  came  to  the  conclusion  that  it  was  rather  absurd 
for  a  man  to  have  a  furnished  house  in  one  part  of 
London,  and  a  wife  in  another,  while  he  himself 
occupied  solitary  chambers  in  a  third.  Being  a  young 
man  of  sound  common  sense,  with  a  tendency,  rare 
among  mortals,  to  want  what  he  could  have  when 
quite  convinced  that  he  could  not  have  what  he 
wanted,  he  suggested  that  he  and  Sabina  should  give 
each  other  another  trial,  and  see  whether,  with  the 
experience  both  had  gained,  they  could  not  make 
something  better  out  of  marriage  than  a  failure.  It 
was  finally  arranged  that,  as  Sabina's  chest  was  still 
delicate,  they  should  go  abroad  for  a  long  holiday, 
and  on  their  return  settle  down  together  in  the  house 
at  Hampstead. 


CHAPTER  XXIV. 

On  a  Sunday  afternoon,  nearly  a  year  later,  Candida 
set  out  from  the  little  flat  in  Kensington,  to  which 
she  had  lately  removed  her  small  household,  to  pay 
a  visit  to  the  Ferrars's  at  Hampstead.  It  was  no 
ordinary  friendly  call,  however,  being  nothing  less 
than  a  visit  of  congratulation  to  her  friends  upon 
the  birth  of  a  daughter.  The  Ferrars  had  been  at 
Bournemouth  when  the  event  took  place,  and  had 
only  just  returned  to  town,  so  that  this  was  Mrs. 
Sylvester's  first  opportunity  of  paying  her  respects 
to  her  future  god-daughter. 

The  Ferrars'  second  venture  in  matrimonial  waters 
had  turned  out,  in  the  opinion  of  the  world  at  least, 
an  unqualified  success.  The  severe  discipline  that 
she  had  undergone  had  taught  Sabina  the  value  of 
a  good  husband  and  a  comfortable  home,  and  she 
rewarded  Ted  for  his  kindness  with  the  undiscrimin- 
ating  admiration  and  spaniel-like  devotion  so  dear  to 
the  heart  of  man.  Her  delicate  health  had  rendered 
her  indifferent  to  the  charms  of  society,  and  she  was 


THE  CAREER  OF  CANDIDA.  277 

perfectly  content  to  sit  by  her  own  fireside,  stitch- 
ing at  some  piece  of  fancy-work,  while  her  husband 
talked  or  read  aloud.  Her  quick  superficial  in- 
telligence caught  up  with  amazing  dexterity  the  more 
striking  of  his  ideas  and  opinions,  which,  slightly 
coloured  and  remodelled,  she  would  reproduce  in  the 
course  of  conversation,  immensely  to  his  surprise  and 
gratification.  So  entirely  had  her  personality  become 
absorbed  in  his,  so  faithfully  did  she  echo  and  reflect 
his  thoughts,  that  he  naturally  came  to  regard  her 
as  an  exceptionally  intelligent  woman,  and  wondered 
that  he  could  have  been  so  blind  as  to  underrate 
her  powers  in  the  past. 

The  birth  of  a  child  had  made  Ted's  cup  of  happi- 
ness run  over,  and  ensured  him  against  disillusionment 
with  his  domestic  lot  in  the  future.  He  was  one  of 
those  men,  not  uncommon  among  Teutonic  races,  in 
whom  the  paternal  instinct  is  highly  developed,  lead- 
ing them  to  transfer  their  passionate  devotion  from 
wife  to  child,  while  retaining  for  the  former  a  mild 
and  tranquil  affection,  mingled  with  ardent  gratitude 
for  the  precious  gift  she  has  bestowed  upon  them. 

Candida  was  shown  into  Sabina's  own  little  sanctum, 
where  the  young  mother,  in  the  most  becoming  of 
tea-gowns,  was  lying  on  the  sofa,  and  her  husband, 
seated  on  a  low  chair  at  her  side,  was  gazing  at  her 
with  the  rapt  expression  of  a  devotee  worshipping  at 
the  shrine  of  a  Madonna.  It  occurred  to  the  visitor 
that  Sabina  really  did  look  rather  like  a  Madonna.    Her 


278  THE   CAREER  OF  CANDIDA. 

fluffy  hair  was  smoothed  down  upon  her  temples, 
her  eyelids  were  drooped,  and  her  once  impudent, 
up-to-date  beauty  had  taken  quite  a  meek  and  lowly 
cast.  Candida  could  not  be  sure  how  much  of  this 
altered  appearance  was  due  to  nature,  and  how  much 
to  Sabina's  innate  sense  of  the  fitness  of  things. 

"You'll  like  to  see  Honora  at  once,"  said  Ted, 
importantly,  as  soon  as  the  first  greetings  had  been 
got  over.  "We  are  going  to  call  her  Honora,  after 
my  mother.  I'll  go  and  see  if  she  is  awake  ;  she  was 
some  time  going  off  to  sleep  this  afternoon,  so  that 
she  may  be  later  than  usual ;  but  I'll  tell  nurse  to 
bring  her  as  soon  as  she  wakes." 

He  left  the  room,  shaking  the  floor  with  his  efforts 
to  attain  a  noiseless  tread. 

"  Ted  is  quite  beside  himself  with  delight  at  having 
a  daughter,"  remarked  Sabina,  languidly.  "  He  fusses 
over  her  like  an  old  hen  with  one  chick." 

"And  you  are  pleased  too,  I  hope.!*  "  said  Candida, 
struggling  to  repress  the  thought  that  Sabina  had 
grown  rather  uninteresting  since  she  became  a 
reformed  character. 

"  Oh  yes,  of  course  ;  I  shall  always  have  something 
to  occupy  me  now.  And  I  shall  never  be  afraid  of 
Ted  finding  out  that  I  am  an  intellectual  fraud,  and 
getting  tired  of  me.  The  baby's  mother  will  always 
be  sacred  in  his  eyes." 

At  this  point  the  door  was  flung  wide  open,  and  Ted 
pranced  in  again. 


THE  CAREER  OF  CANDIDA.  279 

"She's  awake — she's  being  dressed — she'll  be  here 
directly !  "  he  cried  excitedly.  "  Ah,  here  she  comes !  " 
— as  the  nurse  carried  in  a  bundle  of  white  embroidery. 
"  Now,  what  do  you  think  of  her  ?  Not  regularly 
pretty,  perhaps,  but  a  very  intelligent  expression,  hasn't 
she  ?  and  wonderful  cranial  development  Look,  she 
yawns  just  like  a  human  being — I  mean  a  grown-up 
person.  Oh,  do  you  think  you  had  better  take  her, 
Candida  ?     Are  you  sure  you  won't  drop  her  .'' " 

"My  dear  boy,"  retorted  Candida,  "you  seem  to 
forget  that  I  was  a  parent  long  before  you  were. 
Come,  Honora,  let  me  feel  your  muscle.  I  already 
look  upon  her  as  a  future  pupil." 

The  rest  of  the  visit  was  taken  up  with  baby-talk 
and  baby-worship.  When  Candida  left  the  house  an 
hour  later,  she  remembered  with  a  gleam  of  amuse- 
ment, not  unmixed  with  melancholy,  that  the  fond 
parents  had  not  asked  her  a  single  question  about 
herself,  had  shown  not  the  slightest  interest  in  her 
doings,  and  had  not  even  mentioned  Roley,  except 
for  the  casual  remark  that  in  time  to  come  he  would 
make  a  capital  play-fellow  for  Honora.  Ted  did  not 
accompany  her  to  the  omnibus,  as  usual,  but  parted 
from  her  on  the  doorstep,  in  order  to  hasten  back  to 
his  idol,  and  Candida  went  on  her  way  alone. 

Alone  !  She  felt  a  wistful  pain  at  her  heart  as  she 
compared  her  own  lot  with  that  of  the  couple  she  had 
just  left,  as  she  remembered  their  absorption  in  each 
other  ?nd  their  child,  their  complete  independence  of 


28o  THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA. 

the  world  outside.  She  still  had  Roley,  it  was  true, 
but  for  long  ?  In  a  few  years'  time  he  would  go  to 
school,  and  she  knew  that  the  first  lesson  a  British 
boy  learns  at  school,  and  the  only  one  he  learns 
thoroughly,  is  to  despise  his  womenkind.  She  was 
aware  that  the  day  was  not  far  distant  when  he 
would  wriggle  impatiently  from  her  kiss,  and  bitterly 
resent  all  expression  of  maternal  anxiety  and 
solicitude.  Such,  her  observation  had  taught  her, 
was  a  mother's  usual  reward  for  bringing  a  man-child 
into  the  world. 

She  left  the  omnibus  in  the  Bayswater  Road,  and 
walked  home  through  Kensington  Gardens.  The 
beauty  of  the  evening,  the  mellow  light,  the  radiant 
freshness  of  the  newly  awakened  trees  and  flowers, 
roused  in  her  that  yearning  to  be  in  harmony  with  the 
renewed  life  of  Nature  that  is  only  experienced  by 
those  who  have  lost  their  youth,  or  in  whose  ears  the 
world's  music  rings  harshly  and  out  of  tune.  Can- 
dida was  still  young,  not  yet  six-and-twenty,  her 
natural  vigour  was  unabated,  and  the  blood  was  still 
warm  in  her  veins.  Her  heart  had  inmates  that 
were  cherished  with  all  possible  love  and  constancy, 
but  yet  there  was  room.  It  was  not  enough  for  her 
to  love  and  serve  those  who  loved  her  and  were 
themselves  lovable,  not  enough  for  her  to  do  good 
work  that  was  pleasant  and  well-rewarded.  There 
were  moments  when  the  "  world-sorrow "  lay  like 
a  dead  weight  upon  her  spirit,  moments  when  she 


THE   CAREER  OF  CANDIDA.  281 

longed  to  gather  the  whole  of  suffering  humanity 
into  her  arms,  and  hush  its  cries  upon  her  breast 
She  could  have  been  happy  leading  a  forlorn  hope, 
championing  a  losing  cause,  or  heading  a  crusade 
against  cruelty  and  oppression,  since  woman  is  by 
nature  a  fighting  animal  as  long  as  she  knows  herself 
to  be  on  the  weaker  side,  with  long  odds  against 
her. 

Turning  into  one  of  the  sidewalks,  she  saw  a  bath- 
chair  being  drawn  slowly  towards  her.  Before  it 
reached  her  the  chairman  stopped,  pulled  the  chair 
to  the  side  of  the  path,  and  then  retired  to  a  little 
distance  to  rest  and  chat  with  one  of  the  park- 
keepers.  The  occupant  of  the  chair,  a  shrunken- 
looking  man,  with  a  short,  grizzled  beard,  sat  per- 
fectly motionless,  gazing  straight  in  front  of  him. 
Candida  was  moved  by  the  sight  of  his  forlorn  and 
apparently  helpless  condition.  Had  he  no  mother, 
sister,  or  friend,  she  wondered,  to  bear  him  company 
in  his  outings  ?  Glancing  furtively  at  him  as  she 
came  on  a  level  with  his  chair,  she  heard  him  utter 
her  name  in  timid,  uncertain  accents,  as  though  he 
doubted  whether  she  would  deign  to  make  any 
response. 

"  Candida ! " 

The  voice  made  her  stop  abruptly,  and  turn  wide, 
startled  eyes  upon  the  speaker,  for  it  was  a  once 
familiar  voice,  the  voice  of  her  husband. 

"Adrian!"   she    gasped,  going   close    up  to  him, 


282  THE  CAREER   OF  CANDIDA. 

and   gazing   into  his  face.     Yes,  it  was  he,  changed 
and  worn  and  prematurely  grey,  but  unmistakably  he. 

"  I  don't  wonder  you  didn't  recognize  me,"  he  said, 
with  a  faint  smile.  "You  are  not  altered  except  for 
the  better." 

"  You  are — you  have  been  ill  ? "  she  said,  still 
scarcely  able  to  collect  her  thoughts.  "Why  didn't 
you  let  me  know  ? " 

"I'm  done  for,"  he  answered  quietly.  "You 
remember  how  the  doctors  were  always  croaking  at 
me,  and  threatening  me  with  awful  consequences  if 
I  didn't  change  my  ways.  I  never  paid  much 
attention  to  them  at  the  time,  but  the  old  boys  were 
true  prophets  for  once." 

"Do  you  mind  telling  me  what  is  the  matter.^" 

"  Paralysis,"  he  replied.  "  They  say  I  may  live 
for  years  without  getting  much  worse,  but  I  shall 
never  be  any  better." 

"  Oh,  poor  Adrian  !  " 

•  Her  eyes  filled  with  tears  as  she  looked  around 

her,   and  remembered  how  he  and  she  had  walked 

together  in  those  gardens  in  the  early  days  of  their 

love.     There  were  young  lovers  still  wandering  hand 

in  hand  along  the  flower-bordered  paths,  while  he 

The  trees  and  shrubs  grew  dim  before  her  eyes. 

"  I  am  so  sorry,"  she  faltered,  recognizing  the  utter 
futility  of  words.     "  Is  there  no  hope  of  cure  } " 

"  No,  none.  Of  course.  I've  only  myself  to  thank, 
but  I  don't  know  that  that  makes  it  any  better." 


THE   CAREER  OF  CANDIDA.  283 

"  Will  you  tell  me  where  you  are  living  ?  I  hope 
you  are  comfortable — that  you  have  all  you  want." 

"I've  got  a  room  in  Golden  Ball  Street,  Notting 
Hill.  It's  rather  a  slummy  neighbourhood,  but  I 
chose  it  because  it  was  the  cheapest  place  I  could 
find  within  easy  reach  of  the  Gardens.  I  lost  all  my 
money,  as  perhaps  you  heard.  An  uncle  makes  me 
a  small  allowance,  but  it  doesn't  run  to  luxuries.  That 
fellow  over  there  comes  in  morning  and  evening  to 
dress  me  and  put  me  to  bed,  and  three  times  a  week 
he  takes  me  out  in  a  chair;  I  can't  afford  to  have 
it  every  day.  For  the  rest,  the  landlady  and  her 
husband  and  the  slavey  look  after  me  between 
them." 

"But  have  you  no  one  to  come  and  see  you — no 
occupation  ?     How  can  you  get  through  the  day  ? " 

"Well,  now  and  then  an  old  pal  drops  in  to  play 
piquet  with  me,  but  it's  dull  for  them,  of  course,  so  I 
can't  expect  them  to  come  often.  Then  I  have  the 
papers — I  never  cared  much  about  books,  you 
remember — and  I  draw  a  little,  and  sometimes  the 
landlady  comes  in  and  talks  to  me.  Oh,  I  pass  the 
time  somehow." 

Candida  listened  to  his  simple  statement  with 
mingled  admiration  and  astonishment.  How  could 
he  bear  his  terrible .  fate  with  such  apparent  cheer- 
fulness and  resignation  .-• 

"  I  wish  you  had  let  me  know,"  she  said.  "  I 
would  so  gladly  have  come,  and  brought  Roley  with 


284  THE  CAREER  OF  CANDIDA. 

me.  But  now — now  that  I  have  found  you  I  will 
try  and  make  things  easier  for  you.  I  will  learn 
some  games,  and  come  and  sit  with  you  as  often  as 
I  can." 

"You  are  very  kind  and  forgiving.  I  hadn't  the 
cheek  to  write  to  you  after — after  all  that  had 
happened,  and  I've  only  been  back  in  town  a  short 
time.  I  was  in  Germany  last  year,  trynng  the  baths, 
and  after  that  I  stayed  with  the  girls.  They  are 
still  called  the  '  girls,' "  he  added  with  a  smile. 

At  this  point  the  chairman  came  up  and  suggested 
that  it  was  time  to  be  moving  homewards. 

"  May  I  come  with  you  ? "  asked  Candida  ;  "  then 
I  shall  know  my  way  another  time." 

"I  shall  be  delighted,"  he  replied.  "And  I  will 
give  you  some  tea,  or  rather  you  will  have  to  give 
it  to  me," 

She  walked  by  his  side  until  they  reached  his 
lodgings,  a  tiny  ground-floor  in  a  back  street.  The 
chairman  brought  out  a  crutch,  with  the  help  of 
which,  and  the  man's  arm,  Adrian  was  able  to  drag 
himself  into  the  house. 

"The  landlady  will  bring  in  the  tea  as  soon  as 
the  kettle  boils,"  he  said,  when  he  was  safely  estab- 
lished on  the  horse-hair  couch.  "She  is  a  good- 
natured  old  body,  and  often  pops  in  to  'cheer  the 
poor  gentleman  up  a  bit.'  Unfortunately,  the  slavey 
is  not  amusing,  like  the  slaveys  in  novels,  though  she 
is  quite  as  dirty." 


THE  CAREER  OF  CANDIDA.  285 

"I  can't  think  how  you  can  bear  it,"  broke  in 
Candida,  passionately.  "  How  can  you  be  so  patient 
and  cheerful  under  such  an  affliction  ?  I  should  be 
ready  to  cut  my  throat." 

"  One  bears  things  because  one  has  to,  I  suppose," 
he  said  carelessly.  "  How  nice  it  is  to  have  tea  poured 
out  by  a  lady  again.  It  makes  me  feel  quite  fashionable 
and  elegant.  I  hope  you  don't  despise  water-cresses  ? 
My  landlady  always  sends  some  in  because  she  thinks 
I  must  want  a  relish  with  my  bread  and  butter.  I 
never  could  see  that  there  was  much  relish  about 
water-cresses,  but  I  graze  on  them  every  day  rather 
than  hurt  her  feelings." 

He  chatted  on  easily  and  naturally  till  it  grew  dark, 
and  Candida  began  to  put  on  her  gloves. 

"  Will  you  wash  my  hands  for  me  before  you 
go  ? "  he  asked.  "  I  don't  Hke  to  ask  the  slavey  to 
assist  at  my  ablutions  too  often,  because  it  gives 
her  such  a  low  opinion  of  my  intellect." 

Candida  silently  fetched  a  basin  of  water,  and 
held  it  for  him  while  he  washed  his  hands.  A  warm 
raindrop  falling  into  the  basin  made  him  look  up 
suddenly. 

"  You  are  not  crying  !  "  he  said  in  surprise.  "  Cry- 
inij-  over  me !     Don't  do  that ;  I'm  not  worth  it" 

She  put  down  the  basin,  and  came  and  knelt  by 
his  side. 

"Adrian,"  she  said  between   her  tears — "Adrian, 
I  can't  leave  you  here  except  for  this  one  night  longer. 
19 


286  THE   CAREER   OF  CANDIDA. 

You   must   come   back   to   me.      To-morrow    I    will 
come  and  fetch  you  home." 

"  No,  no  ;  you  don't  know  what  you  are  saying," 
he  returned  quickly.  "You  have  been  shocked  and 
startled  by  coming  upon  me  unexpectedly.  This  is 
one  of  your  Quixotic  impulses,  but  I  won't  take 
advantage  of  you.  The  best  advice  I  can  offer  you 
is  to  get  a  divorce.  I  could  give  you  a  technical 
slap  before  a  witness — the  bath-chairman  would  do 
— and  the  other  evidence  would  be  forthcoming.  I 
wouldn't  defend  the  case,  so  there  would  be  very  little 
unpleasantness.  Then  you  could  marry  a  nice  young 
man  with  straight  legs  and  curly  hair,  and  live  happily 
ever  after." 

"  But  I  don't  want  a  young  man  with  cur — curly 
hair,"  she  sobbed.  "  I  only  want  somebody  who 
wants  me,  and  you  do  want  me  now,  Adrian.  I 
thought  you  needed  me  years  ago,  when  I  was  a 
fooHsh  girl,  blinded  by  vanity.  I  fancied  I  could 
help  you  then,  but  I  know  I  can  now,  if  you  will 
only  let  me." 

"  I  don't  think  you  realize  what  you  are  proposing," 
he  said,  turning  away  his  head  so  that  she  might  not 
see  the  longing  in  his  eyes.  "Do  you  understand 
that  I  may  live,  a  helpless  invalid,  for  ten,  twenty, 
even  thirty  years,  that  I  shall  never  be  any  better, 
but  that  I  must  in  time  grow  worse,  that  my  brain 
will  probably  become  affected  ?  Then  I  am  not 
certain  of  my  allowance.     My  uncle,  who  is  a  mean 


THE   CAREER  OF  CANDIDA.  2S7 

old  hunks,  might  stop  it  if  he  thought  you  were  able 
to  support  me." 

"That  makes  no  difference,"  she  cried  eagerly;  "I 
can  manage  perfectly.  I  have  saved  money,  and  I 
can  easily  make  more  if  I  work  longer  hours.  We 
have  a  spare-room  now,  and  I  will  get  a  properly 
trained  servant  to  attend  upon  you.  Then  you  will 
have  me  in  the  evenings,  and  Roley  will  be  company 
for  you  too.  He  is  four  years  old,  you  know,  and 
such  a  dear  little  fellow ;  I  am  sure  you  would  like 
him  now." 

He  was  silent  for  a  moment. 

"I  remember,"  he  said  slowly,  "that  your  father 
used  to  say  that  a  liberal  education  hadn't  been 
able  to  knock  the  woman  out  of  you,  and  I'm  sure 
I  9on't  know  why  the  dickens  it  should.  But  this 
plan  is  cruel — barbarous  to  you.  I  have  no  claim 
upon  you,  remember ;  I  forfeited  that  long  ago. 
How  can  I  accept  your  offer,  knowing  that  you  will 
probably  repent  of  it  some  day } " 

"  Never,  never !  "  she  exclaimed.  "  How  could  I 
ever  be  happy  as  long  as  I  knew  that  you  were 
here  alone,  neglected  and  uncared  for  ?  I  should 
always  see  you  as  I  did  this  afternoon,  sitting  in  your 
chair,  helpless  and  deserted,  yet  looking  so  patient 
and  resigned.  It  would  come  between  me  and 
everything  else — nothing  could  give  me  any  plea- 
sure as  long  as  that  memory  was  tugging  at  my 
heart." 


288  THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA. 

She  put  her  arm  round  him,  and  drew  his  grey  head 
down  on  her  shoulder. 

"Now  it  is  all  settled,"  she  said  in  coaxing  tones. 
"You  are  not  to  have  your  own  way  any  more. 
To-morrow  morning  I  shall  come  and  carry  you  off 
home  with  me." 

"  How  can  I  refuse  ? "  he  muttered  helplessly  ;  "  how 
can  I  refuse  ?  It  does  seem  a  howling  shame,  but 
you  have  tempted  me  beyond  my  strength." 

He  leant  back  among  his  cushions,  and  watched 
her  as  she  moved  about,  tidying  up  the  room,  and 
making  all  ready  for  the  night.  The  teaching  of 
ages  had  already  begun  to  re-assert  its  power,  and 
was  soon  to  put  an  end  to  his  instinctive  shrinking 
from  the  proposed  sacrifice.  After  all,  he  reflected,  she 
was  his  wife,  and  in  the  eyes  of  the  world  it  would  be 
no  more  than  right  and  fitting  that  this  strong  and 
splendid  creature  should  offer  up  herself,  her  youth 
and  her  beauty,  at  the  shrine  of  her  disabled  husband  ; 
that  she  should  bear  upon  her  shoulders  the  burden 
of  his  shattered  life,  and  act  as  his  unpaid  nurse  and 
handmaid  till  death  did  them  part  He  began  to 
feel  that  he  was  doing  her  a  favour  in  providing  her 
with  such  an  unparalleled  opportunity  for  the  self- 
immolation  that  all  true  women  are  supposed  to  love. 
There  was  even  a  faint  tinge  of  patronage  in  his 
manner  as  he  bade  her  good  night,  and  promised 
to  hold  himself  in  readiness  on  the  morrow  for  his 
removal  to  his  new  abode. 


THE   CAREER   OF   CANDIDA.  289 

And  Candida  walked  home  through  the  darkening 
streets,  her  eyes  shining  because  the  future  lay  dim 
before  her,  her  step  buoyant  because  the  yoke  was 
upon  her  neck  again,  her  mind  at  ease  because  she 
had  just  assumed  a  grave  responsibility,  and  her 
heart  satisfied  because  she  had  flung  all  hopes  of 
happiness  away. 


THE  END. 


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